₦airaland Forum

Proudgorgeousga:
I saw this on Twitter and I'd like to know your thoughts.


Tweets by @doreenGLM

I just don't know what the allure is to accepting a future with someone who thinks he has the right to make the final decision on your life.

When women who have not yet experienced marriage, speak about "hoping to be good and submissive wives" I am almost always positive they have
No idea how difficult it is, to have reached a certain age where they have experienced independence and the self validation of being captain
Of their own ships, and having to suddenly deal with accomodating an outside opinion that might be selfishly motivated.

Suddenly, fighting
For what you want, makes you seem like one of those "bitter feminists" who go around thinking they can upend the natural order of things.

How did you get here? You thought submission was going to be easy. You thought "letting a man be a man" would not reduce you this much.

You thought you wouldn't feel this defiant and challenged. You thought he wouldn't expect THIS MUCH from you. You thought he would be fairer
.

Now you have to make even moreadjustments to keep the peace in your home. Now you have to accept that even trying to politely assert your
Opinion, causes him to stiffen up and tell you, "You have started again". The best thing to do now is just Pray and also work on being a

"Better wife", because being a "better you" is no longer as important. Being a wife trumps working on building self validation, and pride in

Making decisions to advance your own life. Now he gets to feel the self validation of the both of you. He can feel like the man he is. He is

Not only proud of his ability to control his life, but he can also control your own life too. He is a man, he makes decisions that are final
He walks around more confidently now because he knows there is a place he can go, where everyone is obedient. Where he can see the challenge

Flash in his wife's eyes, yet watch it leave with a quirk of his eyebrow. She becomes more unsure and anxious, while he becomes more

Confident. God has made her more of a better woman, she starts aligning herself to women in the bible who were meek and obedient. She Convinces herself that they are her heroes. If they could do it, so could she. She has a good job and contributes financially to her home,

But work is different from home. At home she is transformed over 2000 years back into the role of one of her heroes in the Bible.
If you are dating any man who has a passion for the idea of a submissive wife, if you have any love for preserving yourself, leave that man.

So many women are in church trying to deal with the MISTAKE they made of entering a more traditionally structured marriage. It is PAINFUL.

Don't believe the hype, being single is infinitely BETTER than losing yourself to someone who is so selfish that they don't grieve it.

How can you the person who claims to love you, want a meeker version of you? How can they want you to boost them up at your own expense?

How can they be okay with you becoming a child, dependent on their approval, when they met you as a fully functional adult? It is wrong.

Listen to me, do not make this mistake of thinking marriage has to be that hard or this difficult. It only is because you cannot be yourself

You are not a "better woman" because you learned how to "obey better". You have been broken by another person and it is EVIL.



also check out http://thegirlslikeme.com

The Poster ended up with self centered man, most times these kind of women deserve such men.
A man that allows his wife chase her own dreams, do her own thing are often termed "Weak",
More often than not women begin to develop contempt for such men.

But then it takes a real woman to spot a real man,
Dont complain about the man you end up with, it was your call to make.

this is actually a problem

faridaije:
I spend money on MADNESS, but today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am going to complete a spending tracker and will monitor my spending habits, no more WASTING MONEY.

Also what do you think about this? Can you give me advice please - my mental health problem is ruining my life!

I am obsessed with things being brand new.

I always want to be brand new, infact, I envy babies and small children and I wish that I could go back to the day I was born and start a new life.

I have changed my number so many times, in the space of 1 year I have had 12 numbers.

I am constantly changing email address, because I want a ‘new’ one – I have even run out of email name combinations for my email address with the email provider, with multiple email providers

I have even changed my name at one point but changed it back

I always wants to re-invent himself, and be a new person

Always doing factory reset on my phone, always cleaning my house, always writing things and when it looks messy throwing it away - spent so much money on note books

Always changing school and jobs

How can I stop this behaviour?

Church hasn’t worked for me, counselling did not work..

I remember when I bought a brand new laptop but because I felt I had contaminated it – I sold the laptop for 2nd hand on the day I bought it, because I wanted a brand new one!

At the bolded,
are you sure you are not out of your deluded mind?

probably each of the 5 boyfriends knows there are not the only ones hitting it.

deomelo:
Victim mentality decapitates you, it doesn't allow you to do for yourself or find solutions to your problems simply because you see yourselves as victims of other people's machinations, intentional neglect and grand design for elimination (Paranoia).

Based on the above dispositions, you are now the victim and it's other people's responsibility to do for you, it's other people's responsibility to do basically what you really can do for yourself and to hide or mask your incompetency and lack of vision as a leader, you formulate the victim mentality narratives to feed to your people that it is not your fault that you don't have roads, bridges, seaports and airports, it is other people holding you back, it is other people's intentions and designs to make sure you don't progress.

As a society, we know all about our FG and our public official's corrupt and incompetent ways and the sad effects of their shortcomings are not limited to just the SE, we see the same FG neglect in every corner of Nigeria.

The same FG neglect is not limit to the SE because we see the same neglect in Kogi, Adamawa, Ekiti, Bayelsa, Edo, Delta, Eboyin, Borno, Oyo, Ondo and so on and on all over Nigeria so limiting FG neglect to the SE makes no sense, but they are able to use and feed the victim mentality narrative to their people as a form of hatred and evil design to hold them back or even eliminate them evolved into their societal and communal hatred, distrust of the FG and the rest of Nigeria.

The unfortunate victims of FG neglect in many states outside the SE are not playing the victim car like the SE because many of them have realized the fact that they can not sit around and wait for the FG to do anything for them so they are taking charge of their own economic future and destiny by doing everything the SE and their leaders refused to do by building their own state airports, bridges, seaports and so on while the SE sits around with their victim mentality and it is the FG's responsibility views to do everything for them.

When you resigned to that frame of mind that your own progress, prosperity, economic future and destiny are in the hands of other people, you are not going to move forward in life and you can not progress and develop hence the lack of development in the SE across the board.

About the SE youths, since they have been brainwashed and indoctrinated into the victim mentality, FG and other people hate and bitterness syndrome, it is almost impossible for them to demand better from their own leaders or even see the incompetency sand lack of foresight and vision they lack, but instead, they look outside their region for people to hate, abuse and accuse for everything under the sun.

The average youth in the SE know more about Osun state than their own state, they also know more about Osun state's Governor and their finances than they do about their own states, a state ad governor they hate so much for no reason is not playing the victim card or letting their money challenges hold them back and still decided to build what is now set to be the best airport in Nigeria, but are they challenging their own leaders in the SE to do the same thing, build their own airport? No, they are in fact abusing Aregbeshola and shouting corruption all over the place as if Aregbeshola is their governor and it is their money he's stealing even though the airport in Osun is privately funded.

Edo state is about to start with their own state seaport instead of playing the victim card like they do in the SE, Edo is even daring the FG to stop them. They are determined to go ahead and have sourced funding for the seaport, but what are they doing in the SE? They are the victim and it is the FG's responsibility to do everything for them, including bushing their teeth and tying their shoes for them.

After begging and wailing over the 2nd NB for 30 years and it's still not built even by GEJ who promised to exile himself if he did not build that bridge after voting for him and his party for 16 long years, shouldn't you at one point say to your state governors in the SE to join money together and build the bridge once and for all?

Are they saying the whole of SE can not join money together and build the best airport in Nigeria or are they saying they are no longer the richest, the smartest, the most industrious and dominating people in Nigeria?

Why are the so called the so called richest, the smartest, the most industrious and dominating people in Nigeria unable to do anything while the people they say they are better than in other states building and commissioning major projects all over the place.

The answer is, they are incapacitated by victim mentality, lack of visionary leaders and lack of leaders with great sense of duty and responsibility.


They have sadly mentally corrupted their youths just to save their own skin and hide their own shortcomings and collective failures.

A brilliant piece, and we'll articulated.
A 1000 likes for you.

EricIyke:
I trust Anambra.
Enugu did it.
Anambra will do more.
#TeamNsala

yeah Enugu did it by declaring PDP the winner

Dunkofia20:
So you are telling that all this northern appointed by GEJ he knew them all before he appoint them. IGPs – Northerners, only 1 is a southerner
Chief of Defense staff – Alex Badeh
NSA – Sambo Dasuki
All CJNs- Northerners
CJ Federal high Court- Ibrahim Bukar
EFCC Head -Mr. Ibrahim Lamorde
INEC Chairman – Northerner Attahiru Jega
CG Customs – Abdullahi Dikko
FRCN DG- Alhaji Ladan Salihu and NNPC chairman

I did not ask you about GEJ and his appointments

Dunkofia20:
IGPs – Northerners, only 1 is a southerner
Chief of Defense staff – Alex Badeh
NSA – Sambo Dasuki
All CJNs- Northerners
CJ Federal high Court- Ibrahim Bukar
EFCC Head -Mr. Ibrahim Lamorde
INEC Chairman – Northerner Attahiru Jega
CG Customs – Abdullahi Dikko
FRCN DG- Alhaji Ladan Salihu this is the appointment form the fromer President made are they not northerner even the INEC chairman is north

Boss you did not answer my Question, I asked if you will pick ppl you dont know.

Stop the hypocrisy.
If its appointments that your problem just pick and APC form, learn hausa, carry Buhari matter for head, then you are good to go.

THE THINGS IS THIS, IF ITS ONLY FAULTS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, THEN ITS ONLY FAULTS YOU WILL FIND

Mazeltovscotty:
atleast, you manage the crumbs that fall of the table

You think these clowns wont leave the crumbs and rush their vomit by saying "atleast PDP won"?

TonyeBarcanista:
What is well said?

if Buhari like let him appoint all the South East and The South West into the juicy post IT WILL NOT PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THESE STATES, IT WILL NOT INCREASE THE WORKERS SALARY IN THESE STATES.

The ones that stand to gain in this so called juicy appointments are the appointees, not you, not me.

tiwiex:
Not well said bro. I understand your point but that is political naivetie and it affects all of us including me. Not well said again.

The Chief of Naval Staff is from my state (Cross River), but i can tell you Cross Riverians are not having a cake walk when it comes to join the Navy.

This is not naivety, is about reality, as long as the Ministers in this country were picked from all 36 states of the federation then the constitution and balance has been maintained. i believe the remaining appointments can be done with the discretion of the President.

Now i want to ask you and i want you to answer me with all honesty,

if you were the president (lets say you are Ibo) will you appoint a hausa or a fulani you dont know to key and sensitive position in your cabinet?

before you answer just think about it.

Clerverly:
What Improvement Has Appointment Made To The Lives Of The People, Aside The Lining The Pocket Of The Beneficiaries?

Okay, Jonathan Was A "Fair" President, He Appointed Igbos To The "First Class" Posts, Secretary To The FG etc But Did The Appointment Construct The 2nd Niger Bridge? Did Anyim Cause the construction of Enugu-Portharcourt Express?

Jonathan Was The President For 6 Years, Did He Construct East West Road?

Northerners Have Ruled For Almost 24 Years, Did it end poverty in the North?

You guys should come off this petty fight for all these foolish and selfish politicians...they are fighting for their pocket while using you as pawns..

well said Sir, well said.

mpianya39:
One zoogerian is not by force so deal with it and stop begging

lol,
Blind, Deaf and Dumb with hate.
Hate has already eaten you alive, it must have been an agonizing experience,
there is no need responding to a walking corps.

mpianya39:
The thing pain you reach our generation unborn

lol, look who is talking, another comic relief

ipoblogic:
If Peter Obi is also sharing money, then we don't have any credible person among the present politicians.

They are all the same.

The Nigerian system can only produce misfits.

Enough

Then Nigeria is not the problem, it's your ppl

Yyeske:
You should stop educating those brainwashed miscreants about how things are done properly, as per the election yesterday, LGA elections took place with the normal low turn out of voters, this is not the first or second time it's always like that especially in the SE so IPOB miscreants attributing it as a successful boycott is just to ginger their morale and make them feel special.
Anambra election will definitely take place and of course a winner will be announced so anybody thinking there was 0 turn out of voters yesterday is just deceiving himself

I believe this would have been the right time for them to vote a credible person as a Governor cos the spot light now will be directed to the SE election, but sentiments will not allow them see the opportunity that has presented itself here.

babablogger:
Just leave them bro 10 years to this time the would realise the Consequence of their actions either positive or negative

You think they will ever admit the mistake was from them? These Ppl will tell their new born kids of how it was Nigeria that messed things up for them.
They will play another victim card.

ipoblogic:
I can feel your pains
But you know what?

It's our burden... Allow us to carry it the best we feel.

Stop crying more than the bereaved.
He that wears the shoe knows where it pinches him.

Even if we don't curse Buhari, the Jihardist and Hus likes are already under a curse for shedding innocent blood.

OK, but make sure the time comes for you to cry, make sure you do it quietly, do not disturb us with your noise when you start to reap what you sow

And you IPOBs think a boycott will give you referendum? When we keep telling you guys that you are not smart at all you think we are hating your low mentality.

Even if Buhari was to have a change of heart overnight, and start singing the song of Biafra and he starts shouting "Biafra or Death", he will not give you referendum,
He doesn't have such powers,
Even if he orders it,

You Ppl are here in Nigeria you have all witness the tussle between the Executive and the Legislative when it comes to one the most important things in the country [The Budget ]
Buhari has to wait for the approval from the Senate before doing anything.

So is it referendum that will be any different?

You shout and curse Buhari, abuse the Army, you guys don't say a single word about the Ppl that holds the Fate of your referendum in their hands - The Senate.

As long as you guys have not included the Senate in the equation, you guys are nothing but comedians

You IPOBs keep exposing your short sightedness to the whole world.

My advise to you guys is find or hire someone that is vested with the knowledge of these things to tow your course, stop disgracing yourselves in the public with trying to use street IQ to handle National matters

IamLaura:
Please STFU.
This is romance section so carry ur preaching elsewhere
All this self anointed prophets do the worst things in secret.swerve jare

Lol, A Pastor once out paid one olosho my friend was trying to book one night at a joint

All this hoilier-than-thou Ppl make me sick.

Let's just say most of them don't see a problem with becoming a liability.

Legacy of Kane nko?

You are vampire that kill humans and suck their blood,
Funny enough Kane was the Villain in the sequel.

MissRaine69:
It’s not that simple

Hey Miss Raine,
How have you been?
How's life outside NL

skarlett:
Thanks dear

Happy Birthday,

Happy New Year.

Have a blast.

Nwodosis:
After 50 years?

Pls start bashing Buhari that he took 50 yrs to try to make amends as if he was the President then.

It's just a shame that a country of over 160 million Ppl, Nigeria can not bring forward a formidable Upright contender for the next election.
This just sums up the level of rot in this country.

We can only vote Buhari ahead of the pdp thieves.

The comments here got my sides aching with laff

EternalTruths:
Very True.


I also discovered that lots of Nigerians don't know that the main job of a Councilor or LG Chairman or Governor is to focus more on

1) Increasing the income sources of the people.

2) Reduce the money leaving the people's pockets.


The citizens aren't educated enough about this fact.


Just ask a Nigerian what he will do if found in such a leadership position and you hear him mention things outside these 2 things.

You going to far, most guys will even tell you you will do more looting than the present governor, they will tell you we are all corrupt so there is nothing you can do about it.

EternalTruths:
The Governors are really useless.

Even Fayose who criticizes Buhari is a daft upstairs.


Seriously we lack innovative Councilors, LG Chairmen, Governors and President.

Trust me if you have an innovative Governor, you will forget about Buhari and his poor economic plans.

EternalTruths:
SE: Taxation Sword and Economic Suicide

Taxation alongside Public Private Partnerships, Public Investments, Public support for Private Business Ideas(YOUWIN) are ways to build a region's IGR ( Internal Generated Revenue ).

Taxation is a double edge sword which can be deadly to an economy if not wisely applied.

There Are 3 Ways To Build The IGR of A State Through Taxation:

1) Capturing more people into the tax bracket

2) Increasing tax rates

3) Creating platforms to help the Citizens increase their income while keeping the interest rates constant.


History has shown us that capturing more people into the tax bracket only works when the people are financially buoyant.

History has shown us that increasing tax rates have ended up destroying not only the economy but led to several uprisings that toppled regimes.


The 3rd pathway has always being the path chosen by wise leaders and appreciated by the citizens.

EXAMPLE

Imagine Ebonyi State governor, creating a platform whereby a yam farmer who used to pay a tax of #100,000 at 10% on 1,000,000 naira he generates yearly, now generates 2,000,000 naira yearly by selling his yam to industries or foreign markets the State Governor was able connect him to.

That farmer will end up paying #200,000 at the same rate of 10%.

In the end, he pays more in tax at a constant rate of 10%.



South East Governors should be careful not to follow the dangerous path taken by some Governors in the South who keep increasing their IGR without first and foremost, creating platforms that can help their people make more money so that they can pay more tax at constant rate.


In few years to come, when oil wealth will diminish, those states who have succeeded in creating so many platforms to help their people make money through local & foreign industries or markets, will be the ones escaping the impending poverty due to decline in oil dollars.


Finally, we need to start asking our docile and treacherous Governors how many platforms have they created to help our people's pockets increase.


Let's start asking them especially those who seek to be re- elected or elected into power.

The issue we have is that simple thing called ELECTION, it's just too bad that we elect Governors based on party affiliation instead of what the candidates have to offer,

The ones that lack innovation and are clueless are usually the ones that can afford all the election expenses, they are usually the loudest, and the most notorious.

You speak of increasing the income of the common man, that can only be done by a Governor with innovation, and that is what we are seriously lacking in almost all the state levels in this country.

An innovative governor can create an oasis in the desert, make something with the resources at his disposal.

Taxation it's not the issue but rather it's what you do with tax payers money.

It's like business, if you expect to make more money, then you should spend more money buying more products (that's why I agree with you on your 10% even though the figures went up when the farmer made more money).

Those that know how to turn the common man to mid class citizens, will never be allowed to become governors let alone rule this country.

But for me our Governors are 60% of the problem in this country.

akinalabi:
I checked but I did not see any pending bet in your account.

I'm not saying there wasn't any before but I'm sure customer care has sorted you out.

Thanks

Mr Alabi,
I think you should create a moniker for one your CC here to attend to complaints here.
Most of the bookies have one here.

Are you still into "report me to efcc if you don't make money" products?