₦airaland Forum

Sixfeetbelle:
Whether publicly or privately, if your mother errs, you chastise her. Simple.

I agree with you, but like you said, you didn't read the post.
Obviously, we are different so I won't blame the lady if she takes offence at what the mother said(I might myself, I probably just won't react the way she did.) There are ways to "politely" make people realize they are wrong or you don't appreciate the way they talked to you. Respect is very "important." That you do not agree with what the mother says does not mean you have to act irrationally.
She could have told the son and he would have made the mother realise she was wrong without all those drama, that's one way of the lady gaining respect. Gaining respect doesn't come with drama to be honest. Politeness, being soft spoken but firm, being gentle but bold and confidence bring about respect, not being "hot" and acting irrationally.
In fact, she herself could have made the mother realize she was offended in a very polite manner.
You can politely correct people or point out the part of them you are not pleased with without unnecessary drama.
But what I'm trying to point out here, especially for the guy who's ready to marry her is that the last has anger issues.
I'm not saying this because she gets annoyed at what the mother says or because she gets annoyed over trivial issues, but rather because of her reaction to anger. She breaks stuffs and destroy things. What the guy can do, is sign her up for anger management classes because you can't escape people getting you annoyed, you need wisdom to deal with them. Would you now allow people who would get you annoyed and wouldn't even care get you to spoil the things you acquired with your sweats and labour?

fulaniHERDSman:
HIV test first.

Lmao, HIV doesn't work that way and that fast. Might be Herpes, the possibility is high. It takes a long whole before herpes start showing signs and symptoms in females but it's almost immediately in male.

Note; might be.

budaatum:
Good morning queen. His mother said get out so I doubt she pays his bills, but even if she does, he'd leave if he's got balls between his legs, maybe not immediately, Covid and all as you say, but soon as.

I guess I am thinking, frustrated mother. She tells him to get out but he stays after negotiating to leave after lockdown. I expect she might nicely remind him once lockdown is lifted so he still has to leave, but imagine he stays. Won't he be tiptoeing around frustrated mother who would make his life hell whenever she sees him?

I'm sorry, but she is mother, and I had one. Ma once gave me ten naira and said leave because I was disobedient. I was 15, so it wasn't balls on my part, just the look in her eye said "buda! Go and be disobedient someplace else or I'll kill you myself", so I packed my stuff and went to her brother and cleared sawdust at his sawmill to finish school and pay for my first degree. Soon as lockdown is up I'm baking ma bread because my bread defrustrates her.

Well, you are right. Leaving might be give the peace everyone needs, I guess I was just worried about his survival.

It's left to him to weigh the pros and cons of each decisions. If leaving will be of the greatest benefit, so be it. He shouldn't stay at the expense of his peace. But again, we can only advise, the decision is his to make.

Creeza:
Hmmmm. Wisdom in everyword. People have asking after you my dear. Hope you checked your mentions.


Glad to see your moniker here again. How are you?

Good morning, I've been fine and you?

I'll get back to literature section very soon, I've just been busy. Thank you.

My regards to everyone.

budaatum:
You have a lifetime ahead of you to be thinking of forgiving her or not. But forgiving her is for your benefit, as unforgiveness is like a cancer in the heart of the unforgiver. You spend plenty resource remembering not to forgive and it slowly eats you up.

Leave and go find somewhere else to live. You will survive this and more. And read up on the psychology of unforgiveness.

To everyone saying "leave" have you considered the pros and cons? As bad as it may seem, staying is the best option for him right now. Times are hard during this pandemic, how's he going to survive with 19k for the first month? Don't forget he would need to get a place to stay. That aside, when he get back to school, I hope you know he would have limited time for writing and web designing, how then would he survive because leaving means his mother would cease to pay his bills.

I know you might go "but there are orphans in school, training themselves." You are right, but why must he put himself in such position when he has a chance of staying and his mother paying his bills and him saving whatever money he has for the future(makes NYSC and surviving after school easier for him).

And long as the only problem with his mom is accusing him when money get lost(which I believe can't be everyday) he can actually stay. Plus how mother is a single mom, have you perhaps consider the fact that the woman is frustrated and all? It doesn't justify her action, but I'm trying to say it doesn't make his mother a bad person, as long as she perform her motherly roles.

We all have days we wonder if our parents are really our parents and days our parents wonder if they really have birth to us.

But I agree with that part of forgiving his mother? Why would you not? It's robs you of your peace of mind self.

Good morning sir

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

He's 20 and he's a student, so why won't he be staying with his mom? What job/source of income does he have to stay on his own? What resume does he have to go out there and search for jobs? We should stop forming woke all the time please, he can only stay with his mother right now.

KingAzubuike:
queenitee don't take this kid serious , he has nothing to offer you.

Thank you

Liposure:
hello gorgeous

Hello, good evening

Caramelskin:
On point. Wizkid of all musicians. Wizkid that has A1 when it comes to ignoring online bloggers/celeb/fans etc.

Like. If you hype him, he would ignore. If you drag him, he would still ignore. His ability to ignore whatsoever needs to be studied. I love his lifestyle.

Ojokinugwa:
Hope is not 5G that is killing people of kano state, from what I heard the radiation from 5G is not good for human health and this one that ir seems that the state government kept mute it's suspicious!

Your thinking is absurd

crackkhaus:
Point me to a woman who can treat a child not borne of her uterus like he/she was her own biological child, and I'll confidently explain what a rare precious diamond she is.

Your mum is not doing anything unusual but keep correcting her whenever you can. Honestly though, I highly doubt you will be able to put a final stop to anything.
If your father, her husband, was unable to rein her in, you certainly will never be able to.

Keep trying...

My mother. My younger cousin living with us, since he was 13, he's 17 and my mother still be complain we are sending him on too much errand and all(somebody that washing plates and feeding the dogs are his only job.)
It's not like his mother is a wicked person. She's transferring her guilt on to the girl. Maybe she had always been the wrong party whenever herself and the girl's mother fought and seeing the girl makes her guilty and she has to act that way so as not to dwell on her guilt.
Or the girl's mother is the wrong one here and he's simply transferring the hatred on to the girl.
In this first case, she can make amends, see the girl's mother and correct her ways, it will ease her guilt. And/or anytime she sees the girl and she feels guilty, she can simply chose to see treating the girl right as a way of correcting her wrongs instead of dwelling on her guilt.

And if it's the girls mother who's wrong here, she should understand that the girl is a different person from her mother(that's why kids don't turn out like their parents in all ways and why kids of the same parents are different from one another.) And also accept the fact that the girl's mother might not or would not come to apologize which is fine because she do not want to carry that burden of hatred forever in her heart, it's too much burden to carry honestly.

And if it's the fact that her husband didn't discuss the adoption with her, then her anger should be directed at her husband and not the girl. The girl can't possibly discuss the adoption with her, only her husband can.

So whatever the case might be, she needs to accept the fact that the girl has no fault whatsoever

Deejay777:
Do u run too or get extremely excited?

Both

Deejay777:
I've been having fun going 2ru the thread. I also have some weird characteristics. People even complain about some
1. My phone is always on silent, I miss calls a lot, purposely ignore some.

2. I don't watch films with pple, I will be bored and eventually sleep off. I forward movies a lot( I can watch 2hrs film in mins) but I read bout these movies on Wikipedia b4 or after watching so I can understand dem better

3. I talk to myself a lot( in a very strange way), simulate things in my head and I'll start laughing bout it or sometimes I'll reminisce bout a funny event and start laughing bout it, jumping and running about too

4. Once I see pple, I always remember their face, where I saw dem 4 d first time, d clothes dey wore, their first words to me or any other significant thing that happened

5. Sometimes I have this weird sense of Deja vu, like I'm reliving a particular moment. A day like dat, I was outside in my hostel, I had dis feeling again, told my friends a bike man was coming and he's going to be putting on a funny sunglasses and lo it happened

Your number 3, I found my own weird also

niterider:
It is called Autism

It's OCD. Once it's triggered by fear, it's not autism, it's OCD. They are doing it because they fear if they don't something evil would happen.
It's totally different from autism, the reaction isn't triggered by fear in autism.

In OCD, you know what you are doing doesn't make sense and you should stop, but you can't because of the fear that if you do something evil would happen, but with Autism, it's not like that, you don't know what you are doing.

In autism, you find it difficult to understand what people think and feel, difficult to communicate but in OCD, you don't. The problem in OCD is you keep doing some things even you know doesn't make sense religiously, but it doesn't affect your communicative ability.

They only look alike, but autism is different from Obsessive-Complulsive Disorder which is what his friend is suffering from

Bankpower:
The guy is simply autistic and nothing more or less

He's suffering from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD)
It's a form of unreasonable thoughts and fear. People suffering from it thinks if they fail to do certain things at certain times, evil would happen to them or someone they know or they would feel some kind of pain and to avoid this, they tend to carry out their thoughts religiously. Some even think they hear voices telling them to do what they do and reminding them of the consequences of not doing it. It's a form of mental illness, he needs to see a psychiatrist.

drips8:
I know a guy who I think may suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder although he vehemently denies.

He has a habit of looking at the time almost everytime and at a particular time, he mutters some words to himself. He repeats words a lot and he has a weird counting habit from counting the numbers of letters or words in a book to counting the number of cars passing by when seated. He has an arrangement for his clothes and things and he'll never touch his phone unless it's fully charged and even ignoring calls from his parents while his phone charges.

I asked him if he could stop and he tells me that he thinks something bad if he does will happen so it's doesn't hurt to continue his obsessive rituals.

He's suffering from OCD, he needs help.