₦airaland Forum

TonyeBarcanista:
Efe, we are not discussing general family issue but the issue of this OP.

However, lemme tell you, a man MUST have an independent mind once he becomes of age, and at same time show love and kindness to his BLOOD.

The moment I left my father's house was the moment I saw myself as an independent mind. I don't seek permission from anyone to take my own decision. This is true with most men.

The problem is that some of these wives expect their husbands people to "back off" from their audio homes the moment they become Mrs to the man. They see the man's people, their new family, as intruders. They don't even want their man to extend the care he shows them at home to his own BLOOD especially if the man is successful even when it doesn't affect smooth running of the home. Most of them don't even want to see Mama in the house of her son!

On the other hand, some of these in-laws (especially females) always want to ensure that their brother do more for them that he does to his wife. Some are monitoring spirit. Some refused to see the wife as wife, sister and daughter, but they see her with the lens of an outsider that has come to reap where she did not sow.

You see, most times the issue is two-way and as a man you have to handle all issues in their own merit. But sadly, both groups expect the man to "stand by them" against the other at such times.

Yes you are right, some women do. But why do you assume it’s the same with the Op since we are not talking about women generally but the Op? Why have you refused to give her the benefit of doubts? Because you clearly said “Some” yourself, showing not all. Why is the Op not part of those that are good?

TonyeBarcanista:
What exactly is your point? How many family decide number of children and school children to attend for their brothers? The problem is that YOU WOMEN have problem when a man consult with his siblings (that he has always discussed issues with) on suggestion of best schools for his kids even when they have better knowledge. You prefer asking your friends instead!


There is NOTHING like family interference. It is you and your kind that always want a man divorced from his family.

And spare me the sermon of you and your in-laws. I already have idea on the kind of in-law that you are.

I have been reading your replies all along and shaking my head. You have no idea on nothing and you remind me of a post I saw yesterday, “Before you argue with someone, ask yourself is that person is mentally stable enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives, because if not, there’s absolutely no point.” That post is for you, you simply can’t grab the concept of different perspectives.

Besides, are you sure everything is actually well with your own marriage? Instead of asking if people are married or if everything is well with their marriage, the question is for you. You are not ready to give the Op the benefit of doubt and like you judge people from their replies I should be able to judge your marriage also. Are you sure your wife isn’t trying to separate you from your family also? Since that’s basically all women do? And I hope you seek consent from your family before having s*x with your wife since they have been your adviser since you were a baby? See the Bible even said “a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife,” that also goes for the wife. If humans are wrong, is the Bible equally wrong?. Though I’m not saying either party’s family has to totally leave their family cos family is everything yet they have to leave such that their input becomes secondary and you and your wife has to decide if to follow their input or not. Their input becomes minimal when you get married because you are about creating your own family also. Even what works in the family you came from might not work in the family you are trying to create for yourself, they are not the rulers of your home. After you, your wife should be the one who can take decisions about your home after you, not your family. The same way you don’t want your wife running to her family for any small thing or advise is the same way you should be sure to make sure yours also has a limit to the way they interfere in your marriage. Or is it that your wife do not have a family or her family has not been for there for her? Marriage isn’t for the husband alone, it’s equally for the wife. Marriage is between two people and not just a person or three or more people but just “two individuals.” Any other person’s input is minimal and should be discussed by the two people involved in the marriage before it is been act upon.

Yes, the op might be lying but why don’t we give people the benefit of doubt? Do you think people can’t hate others without reason? So what if her husband’s family didn’t like her even while he was dating her maybe because of her job or fashion sender or anything? Do I need to tell you they would do all they can to frustrate her so she can leave their brother. Yes I agree it’s her job to make them like her but then it doesn’t come easy like that and while at it, she should not forget to respect herself. And Mr a man needs to respect his wife, when you respect your wife, your family will. You need to respect your wife, the way you place your wife is the way your family will equally place her.

Uncle Please learn to grasp the concept to different perspectives, you are not always right and again being able to see things in different perspectives will open your eyes to different opportunities and that way you would grow.

Good morning

sassysure:
Look at that gorgeous hair

If I happen to be a man eeh, spotting this type of hair on ladies will be my weakness.
So beautiful like a black woman ought to look like.
Who are we actually deceiving with oyibo wigs
U will see a very dark person with flat nose putting on oyibo wig.


See the new miss world, she won that with short black hair.
If u can't maintain it, lock it and when u want to wear wig, wear our kind of wig.
More beautiful than the Brazilian.

Durrell, it’s not her natural hair and besides natural hair or not, Khafi is beautiful

supremenews:
Kindly reply to my email

I will

Akuruoulo:
Nobody is stopping anybody from getting wat ever they wanted .
any lady who don't have the opportunity must sing FEMINISM song abeg .

THEY SHOULD GO AND SLEEP

Alright

supremenews:
Copied.

Thanks.

You are welcome

supremenews:
Is it possible to sharply write your email/phone number here? Then cancel/edit it later?

Oyelamioyebisi@gmail.com

supremenews:
Sir??

I don't have access to my email address again

What do we do?

supremenews:
Good morning dear.

Thanks for accepting the offer.

Please, how can I get your contact?

Send me a Pm sir

Ladyhippolyta88:
You have spoken well.
Just ignore him

He is a village man

BluntBoy:
This is the point I like to make.

Today's feminism largely chases irrelevant issues that make it appear like it has gone into competition with men.

In a world where men still dominate workforces, even in highly liberal societies, and many women still need to sleep with their bosses to get promotion that they deserve, feminists are busy chasing irrelevant issues such as whose name a child should bear.

That part of whose name a child should bear should be the family’s problem. My husband and I might decide our baby will bear my name or his, that’s between us and it’s our problem. I am talking about being able to dream and aspire without the need to be constantly reminded I’m a woman, limited or pressured.

Akuruoulo:
DO U KNOW WHY THIS FEMINISM IS TRASH ?

ITS SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WANT EQUALITY WHERE IS FAVOURS WOMEN , AND NOT IN GENERAL.


I TAGGED IT STUPIDITY , BECAUSE I WON'T TAKE IT EASY ON ANY WOMAN AROUND ME WHO EQUALITY ONLY WHERE IT FAVOURS HER

.

IF I BECOME A PRESIDENT TODAY I WILL PASS A LAW THAT WILL ALLOW EVERYTHING TO BE EQUAL BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN LESS SEE HOW WOMEN WILL SURVIVE .

ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN SENATE , STATE ASSEMBLY, OIL COMPANIES , MANAGERS WHO MEN WORK UNDER , FACTORY OWNERS ETC?
ONE MUMU WOMAN WHO CAN'T AFFORD BANY OF THIS WILL COME AND BE FORMING A FEMINIST. NOINSENSY

I never said a woman should be given preference over men. I only said women should be given the chance to aspire and go for their dreams and not be limited just because they are “women.”

You said you got my point later, so it’s fine

Akuruoulo:
Now I understood what you were saying .
every feminist is different from another, because I have seen some vying for a different opportunity from yours.
I support the fact that women are supposed not to be pressure into doing things because they are women , I assure u that Soo many live to regret it after they have gotten all the wanted.



Seems u are still very young , and that's why u hate this , and hates that .



FOR ME , I MUST REMIND MY DAUGHTERS ON HOW THEY ARE WOMEN BECAUSE MEN AND WOMEN LIFE IS TRULY NOT THE SAME .
IF A GIRL LIVES A BOY-LIKE TYPE OF LIFE " SHE MUST REGRET IT" , AND IF A BOY LIVES A GIRL-LIKE TYPE OF LIFE " HE MUST LIVE TO REGRET IT" BECAUSE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE .

THEY HAVE DIFFERENT LIFE TO LIVE .

THANK U AND GOOD NIGHT

I never said a girl should live a boy’s kind of life and vice versa. I only said a girl should be able and allowed to dream and aspire, that doesn’t count as living a boy’s type of life to me, but I don’t know about you.
Thank you and good morning

Pussywar:
Absolute mumu.

Babe, get tired already and let them be. Half of Nl do not understand what feminism is and what feminism isn’t. It’s pointless arguing with people who don’t know and who are not ready to know. They are all confusing feminism with man-hating.

supremenews:
Hi Queenitee

Can we be friends?

Good morning, I hope you are fine.
Yes, we can be friends.

philip0906:
No one is stopping women from choosing for themselves...It is a farce. Everyone gets pressured here and there (Men & women)...I'm single my parents every now and then drum about getting married. That is the case of millions of men (& women). Difference is, men do not bring out a useless cause out of that. We totally understand the intentions of family & society is genuine but women blow these things out of proportion like they are the only ones facing pressures...

If you're successful as a woman, you are in control of your own destiny.

It's a level playing ground out there...Go out there, grind with men, succeed and no one will stop you from making your choice.

Everyone gets pressured but the timing is different and the intensity is equally different but you know what, I get you and what you are saying is the same with what I’m saying, you just don’t want to get it.

Yes, everyone should go out there and succeed. Even I like that feeling that comes with having your own money so I plan to have mine.

God bless you

philip0906:
What exactly do you want "society" to do for you? Probably force men to relinquish their properties, hard fought wealth and status for women?

There is a level playing ground for women and men to fight it out in the struggle for power, position, wealth etc...Any woman who thinks otherwise, that's her plate of hot beans...you will only wail and wail, and still end up in a man's house.

While some Nigerian women are lamenting on social media, a married white American woman, is running a multi million dollar FinTech startup in Nigeria. Go to marina and check out those big corporations and see women heading senior management roles...while small small girls continue to wail and lament, expecting equality on a platter

Life is tough for everyone...Men are failing too but don't blame other men or women for their failures (they keep grinding) but what you have is small small girls still feeding off men, making useless noise all about...Nonsense

I never said men should relinquish their properties or wealth or many thing and not many men think the way you do. If all men think the way you do that their wife could also be something or somebody and actually give them the chance to, we wouldn’t have a reason to have this kind of discussion in the first place. You are lucky because you understand, some don’t.

No one is asking for equality on a platter of gold or asking for wealth without working for it, rather a chance to actually choose for themselves.

People are not wailing on social media, they are not asking for equality on a platter of gold rather they want to be left alone to make their choices, they don’t want to be sent off to marriage after school because, “a woman’s time is limited” or whatever it is people say.

After education, parents are quick to start asking the female child about marriage and all but allow the male child some years, this is what I’m saying.

So no, we or rather I don’t want a man to relinquish his property for me, I don’t want society to do that for me. I only want to be able to fight for my own properties and wealth without a constant reminder of how I’m a woman and I don’t have much time and I would end up in a man’s house and stuffs like that. I only want to be able to make my own choice.

And before you say it’s about my family, I’m very lucky because my parent especially my father doesn’t believe in all those “let a girl go to her husband’s house” immediately after her university education. I’m only talking from what I observed from talking with females, many of them have been conditioned to think life ends with marriage. Many times when females get it wrong, they get corrected with respect to their future husband’s house or something. You hear things like “You can’t even do this right, you would soon go to your husband’s house, is this how you would be doing there?” I don’t like it. Why not “You would soon become your own woman, is this really how you want to do things when you become independent?” Now this doesn’t mean the lady is not expected to get married and it’s not saying men are scum, it’s simply telling the girl child she can dream and also aspire to be somebody.


And besides, we were talking about back then during the times of our grandfathers and not now. We were talking about what feminism is and what’s it not, trying to separate feminism from men-hating.

I know things are changing and women are being allowed to make their choices nowadays but that doesn’t happen in every family yet.

So uncle, you got me wrong. Hold your properties and wealth and let me fight for mine. But of course what do I know except a woman only want to inherit a man’s property.

TheRedpillguy:
Hehe very true, you are not wrong, everything you said is so true, if you are worth respecting you are respected. Well thank God for me cus my parents made a living and left me with lots of proparties plus they sent me to the best schools money can pay, I drive and arrive and pull up in a pricy car and girls go beserk, I presently have four birthdays invite and some girls in my inbox telling me how much they love me but I don't give them time. So I guess all you need is some money to be respected. Nobody cares that I am a developer or what hurts me or what makes me happy. Girls are usually abt me, me, me and when I have sex with them and don't care thy call me names cus thy can't get what they want. Women are only upset when they can't get what they want. They will respect you as long as they r benefiting from you. That's differnts with a man. men respect results. now feminist give men roles to live by so that it will make it convenient for them to extract resorces from men and slave them in the process. If you want something. Less do it equally no privileges. You want to work, go to work, u don't want to cook fine, less eat all our food wea its convininet for us, if u leave marriages, I will leave a marriage, protect urself and I ll protect my self, pay ur bills and I will pay mine. No entitlement. You are not entitled to me and me not in u. We will both satisfy our sexual lives. Am down with that. Am down with that equality.

Actually, you are focused on ladies because you are a guy. Most of your guy friends are also there because of your money. This thing is all about personality and ego, people generally don’t want to be a loser, that’s why you have to be smart in everything, be it friendship, relationship, business, everything. And me too, I’m all for equality. And besides, aside money what do you also have to offer the people around you?


And to be honest with you, everyone loves money and get attracted to rich people. You only have to ask yourself “aside the money, does this person really and any value.” It takes self control and discipline to say no I’m not falling for the money. Everyone loves money, lol. Money is a temptation, you can fall if you don’t remind yourself of who you are constantly and if you are really desperate and also if you don’t set your priorities right. If you believe life is all about having the latest trend and being vogue, lol.

Kyllahmc:
hmmm interesting, your own feminism perspective is mature and suitable with me, some are just annoying.

Actually, many people get the wrong idea about the whole concept of feminism. Many people just want a cover to hide under and go about hating men and most of them are simply hurting which is why they go back to doing what they are preaching against because it’s not like they really hate it in the first place, it was just their hurt and anger speaking

TheRedpillguy:
I love feminists if everybody will just have rights and if everything is rights. You know like that right to leave marriages anytime. I like that the most becouse I don't have to stick it out when the woman starts getting old or fat. I will just bail. Women can continue doing what they love as long as they dont give up on it as they age. Don't go like now I jus want to be a home mum now take care of me. Feminist come on and say respect me yet act like men. We men demand respect, if u can't respect us we will go to war with each other and they winner is respected. But women will be in ur face like respect me. If you do something worth respecting trust me you will be respected stop forcing people to respect you for petty things you do.

This goes for both sex. As a man stop demanding respect also. Respect is earned, it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. You don’t have to fight to gain respect if you are worth respecting, you will definitely be respected, not necessary liked, but respected. They might not like you but they would respect you. Anyone going about and demanding for respect have some self esteem issues

Lonelypacifist6:
During those times too there were women who were socially active, so it's not an excuse at all, Women were acting as spies during the war and all the queen was an engineer!! Society limiting anyone omis not an excuse.

Because their husband or whoever allowed them! Are women generally not expected to be submissive? If a woman goes against her husband wish because she wanted to be active and follow her dreams, won’t the society term her disrespectful and not submissive? Especially back then.

The thing is, I’m not against women working, I’m all for women following their dreams, in fact, it’s fulfilling to achieve one’s dream, it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. All I’m saying is that the society place certain limitations on women back then and even now. Although that has changed in some society and families but not in all and even you would agree men are cut some slacks and allowed more freedom. Even in some families where there’s only the capability to send a child to school, they would prefer to send the male child, does that makes it more intelligent? No, it simply doesn’t matter if he’s less intelligent or younger, all that matters is that he’s a male child.

Let’s face the truth, most women might be Lazy but the society isn’t exactly helping.

Lonelypacifist6:
That excuse is stale since like forever, it's used by lazy People.

You were talking about those times sir, please read up. He clearly talked about the times of our ancestors and during the wars. That excuse was very much valid then.

[quote author=Kyllahmc post=84960379]But there weren't any aggression from women to level up and assume manly responsibilities those days... why now?[/quote
Because men now assumed women optioned and refused to see the fact that the society conditioned them to and so to debut this notion, women are showing you they didn’t optioned but rather the society made them. And because they think women optioned, they don’t give them the respect they deserved.

It’s not easy when you chose to give up doing what you love for the people you love but those people don’t see it, rather they see it as you been lazy or choosing the easy way out. You as a man, you know how you feel whenever you are tired and had to stay at home instead of going to work, you feel restless knowing you can’t do what you love doing. Now think of how it is for a woman who had to stop doing what she loves to do because the society and her his and thinks she shouldn’t and yet this society and her husband doesn’t even give her the respect she deserves.

Women only want men to see the sacrifices they make and respect them for it. They need men to see that they also are capable of making their own choices but when they choose not to but submit to me, it’s not because they are stupid or something, it’s just because they love their men. That’s feminism, letting men know you also have your right and for them to respect it.

Feminism isn’t about hating men and making degrading comments, it doesn’t stop you from getting married or having sexual relationship, it doesn’t stop you from being submissive, it’s simply letting you know you have your rights and should be respected for it.

So anyone who’s a man-hater or makes degrading comments about men isn’t a feminist, rather such a person is a misandrist or hurting.

Kyllahmc:
Feminism is a scam... where were women when early men were hunting buffalos, bulls and encountering Lions in the wilderness...? women optioned to stay home and pick fruits and vegetables!

even in more recent Case... where were women when men were fighting Nazi Germany in WWII and returning home dead, without limbs...and sometimes without half of their faces? women optioned to sit home clean riffles and make combat uniforms!

Now it's computer age and every Jennifer, Hailey is claiming equal to men on social media?

Women did not optioned bro, the society determined women should sit at home because they believe that's their place and they are weaker vessels, which is exactly what feminist are saying. That the Society should allow women the opportunities to do what men are doing, feminism isn’t saying to be a man-hater, feminism isn’t about men are scum.


So please don’t because you hate feminism start saying what’s not. We’ve seen husband asked their wife to quit working and become full housewife cos they believed a woman’s job is taking care of the house only and being a submissive wife, she did as requested. She didn’t option, she followed the laid down rules by the society, women are made to follow laid down rules even if it’s against their wish, they are taught to not express their wish and speak up or themselves. It’s not women optioned bro, it’s more of the fact that the society choose for the women.

If women had optioned, they would have been doing contrary to what men and the society at large want. Take the case of that woman who became a full housewife because her husband wanted it for example, if she had optioned, she would have chosen to continue with her career and she would be termed disrespectful by the society. If women had optioned, the society would condemned most of their choices and term it as being disrespectful to men. Please get it right

Even during wars, if a woman expressed her wish to join the army, they won’t pick her. Please don’t let your anger lead you blindly. Sure, some women might optioned, we are different. But it’s never always women optioned and most times, women optioned because their mind has been conditioned to believe that’s how it should be.
Bless you

MrHistorian:
Are Nigerians deliberately dumb or is it just the twitter users?

Being a feminist basically means being an advocate for the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men.

How does the above stop the woman in question from engaging in sexual relationship with men?

The trolling is justified if she's a proven man-hater (misandrist). Even at that, you can't be too sure if the pregnancy wasn't a product of artificial insemination.

But then. . .what do I know!?

Bless you, people are quick to link feminism with man-hating. They are different. Being a feminist doesn’t stop you from engaging in sexual relationships, it’s about knowing your right and using it to the fullest and that right included the right to have sex or be in a relationship with whoever you want. It’s totally different from being a misandrist and in Grace case, she’s not a feminist she’s a misandrist, please be informed.

femi4:
You wrote this epistle without watching the video....Oya come collect 10mb

I was thinking of a reply, but I couldn’t find any, so I’ll just let go. Thank you for your mb, you might just want to keep it for the person coming along.

femi4:
You wrote this epistle without watching the video....Oya come collect 10mb

Sorry?

franugo:
The reporter literarily said eniola badmus TV!!! Pls watch the video and don't just drop shii like its hot...I see nothing wrong here,

Didn’t you see where I wrote up there that I didn’t watch the video, besides, I never insulted Omotola, all I said was maybe it’s her use of words that got people confused. You also, please read.

“You mean the actress Eniola Badmus right” would have been better if truly she was trying to make
a connection between the Tv and the actress. And besides I believe whoever was interviewing her would have added Tv if she was referring to the Tv production company.


What am I saying? I didn’t watch the video but I believe the tone of her voice is also a determinant to
Know if she was trying to ridicule Eniola or it was just a a misconception. Again, it’s not always what we say but how we say it(the tone of our voice)


And besides, Someone somewhere would also be like “Who’s Omotola Ekeinde,” that’s life. So Eniola shouldn’t kill herself, she’s equally recognized by certain people. The rewarding thing is to make impact in life not fighting for recognition upandown. Your impact will bring you recognition.

Dreiwizzy:
Speak for yourself

Lmao