₦airaland Forum

Creeza:
Queenitee, � adviser number one. I hail o!

I am not o, I was just saying as a sister

blujoi:
She actually said the guys hustles and tries his best to provide for the baby. Read the story again. She said the guy is working at a car wash

We are talking plans. What if the guy is just the type that believes let me just go to work daily and come back with whatever I can get and we feed on it? What if that’s where his plans ends? Working is different from having plans.
Plans are the reasons why someone would receive his/her salary and squander it and another would receive his and spend it wisely, even save. Now, they are both working but there’s clearly a difference.
Plans bro, not just work, but plans.
You yourself, do you just work? Don’t you have plans?
And before you say he’s a hustler and can’t save, planning isn’t all about money.
Does he even have something he aspire to become? And tho he has no money yet, is he trying to meet people who are built, developing or already on the path he plans to take to learn from them? Now that’s planning and working towards achieving it, it’s not all about money.
Having plans alone isn’t enough also. You don’t just sit at home and nurse your plan and expect yourself to achieve it. Let’s assume his plan is to be a banker, he could have gone to a bank and even if it’s the security man he would meet and ask questions like “Those bankers, how do they dress, when do bank open and close? E.t.c” Now that’s a step. If it’s to identify a Banking and Finance student and ask him questions, that’s another step.
Imagine the case of two hard-working people working in the same company and who earn 50k, one enroll his kid in a school of 20,000 gives the kid 5k to lavish(not for school or anything o) gives the wife the 25k left without saving because he has no plans.
And someone who earns 50k, enroll his kid in a school of 10k, gives the child 1k to lavish, gives the wife 20k and saves the remaining 19k, has plans and work towards achieving it, finally made it. Who do you think the kids and wife will appreciate most? The one who spend highly on them but couldn’t improve their standard of living? or the one who didn’t spend that much but has plans and later made a way for them all?
Definitely the later and if we all are to judge, the former was the better father and husband but at the long run, he stopped being the better father and husband because he has no plans for his life and family.
Are the two not hardworking? It’s not also about hardwork alone

Meliian:
This one is suffering from hallucination. Sorry lav, I don't know how to help you anymore. Now consider yourself ignored.

I don’t need help, you do. Study a little more of the language, then you’d be able to read and comprehend better.

blujoi:
Do you realize they have a child together? It’s so easy to throw blames when it’s not us involved. The family as a whole did not handle the matter well. The elder sister has a duty to call the guy and have a heart to heart talk with him. If the elder sister was thinking right,she should have been concerned in taking that guy off the street because her sister and her child is involved. Actions have consequences

You guys keep forgetting she never hinted us about the guy having plans for his life. Even if she try to take him off the street, if he has no plans for his life, he would still end up on the street. People don’t become rich by having no plans for their lives.
It’s not the fact that the guy is broke, it’s the fact that he has no plans!

Meliian:
It's the other way around actually. Clearly, something woke your dead brain up.

No, your brain was deceiving you or you clearly do not comprehend the language you type so well. You are actually the one with a dead brain. And you would agree with me because everyone thinks you give dumb advice but by the way, it’s not you, it’s your lack of comprehension of the language. You meant something entirely different from all you’ve been typing.
Good night Lady.

Meliian:
But they're sisters now? You get? Ok let me ask you this, is there any provocation that can lead you to call the police on your sibling? Come to think of it. Didn't the elder sister think about their parents? Now I'm not saying op was right, just saying as much as we're calling out the op, her sister too should be blamed.

And trust me, if op's bf had absconded when he got her pregnant, it's this same sinister elder sister that would remind op everyday that "you see, you gave birth to a bastard". She would have reminded op everyday that her child is a bastard without a moment's hesitation.

The thing about most of us is that, we've not yet fully grasped the concept of unconditional love. Unconditional love looks beyond past mistakes, forgives, and helps the other person grow. It guides them for as long as they need guidance and support. This is what I expect of the sister. If you must reprimand, do it once and move past it, not rip the other person of what's left of their self-confidence.

The only sensible comment you’ve made ever since. No no one was saying the sister was right, in fact, most have moved past that. Now everyone is talking about how the Op hasn’t seen reason why should be in charge of her life and stop revolving her life round her boyfriend. Yes he’s the father of her child but she’s a person of her own. What if anything happens tomorrow? Won’t she move on or she wants her sister to keep feeding her for life? This is all we have been telling her but you were hell bent on misleading her into thinking her life has to revolve round her boyfriend because she has a child for him.

NoSidonLook:
You're just an idiot
Trying to form diplomatic...but no, you making yourself sound so dumb

Honestly, so dumb

Meliian:
Lady keep quiet. You keep repeating the same balderdash. Ahn ahn. She doesn't need any bf to build, grow and become the best version of herself. She doesn't need the support of anyone but her parents. Whether or not her bf gives her pep talks is inconsequential as she doesn't need it! Seriously, if it's your bf that made you YOU, then you may have other problems.

Now I agree you are olodo. Where did I tell her she needs her bf? Exactly what I’ve been telling her. She doesn’t need her boyfriend. You should be the one to keep quiet, olodo oshi. Misleading people up and down. For someone who types so well, it’s a pity it’s so difficult for you to comprehend the language. Supporting her doesn’t mean he had to give her money, encouragement doesn’t necessarily mean money. Olodo. And it’s necessary her boyfriend gives her pep talk and encourage her to become better. Because if he isn’t encouraging her to be better, he would definitely encourage her to be stagnant. They plan on building a future together, they should help one another grow, olodo

Meliian:
Good. Now that you've helped yourself, you can go back to read my comment. To sulk at something is to be silent and not do anything! Olodo.

check the meaning again, now check the connection with aloofness and read again. Super Olodo. I didn’t say she sulked alone, I said she became aloof. Check the connection and read again.
By the way, you are the worst adviser ever. You are not waiting for a boyfriend to build your own life for you but you were advising her to wait for one to build hers.

Ifyjos:
She did not love me at all because if she did , she would have support me with love and advices telling me things like having a child at tender age it’s not the end of the world , you can do better things in life instead she made me loose my confidence and motivation. Well yes you are right , she doesn’t owe me anything at all and she should have mind her business and let my guy and I leave in peace

She doesn’t owe you anything in regard to money, but she owe you a lot in regard to advice. Which she did by being against you and you guy, but maybe she went about it the wrong way. Instead of shouting, she could have been calm about it.
But you owe yourself a lot, a lot more than your sister or guy can ever owe you. Now seat yourself down and ask yourself. Do my guy has plans for his life? Is he working towards achieving his goals? Do he have a realistic goal and set time limits? If the answer is ‘No,’ ask yourself again. Do my guy support my dreams and visions? Is he striving toward making me a woman of substance? Does he advice me on how to plan my life, encourage me and help me work towards achieving my goals? If the answer is equally ‘No,’ then I’m sorry. It’s either your guy is still with you because he has no money yet or he has no plans for his life so he doesn’t even care if you have any for yours.
Now ask yourself again, do I want to live a life without plans? Do I want my kids to grow up in a family without plans? Am I comfortable living this way for the rest of my life? If the answer is ‘No,’ then you know the step to take. Either talk to your guy and make him see reasons why he has to make plans and set goals for his life and work towards achieving them and equally encourage you to make plans for yours or you leave your guy and focus on setting goals for yourself and achieving it.
Forget about who will take care of your kids like you said, if truly he’s a responsible father who accept his kid, it wouldn’t matter that you left him, he would take care of his kid.

Meliian:
Clearly your intelligence level is low. Check the meaning of 'sulk' and write me a report on your findings.

Please run along, you should be the one to check the meaning of ‘sulk’ and while at it, do well to check ‘Aloofness also.” You are the one with the low intelligence level, exactly why you couldn’t comprehend what I wrote when I quoted you earlier.
Sulk(display of sullen aloofness or withdrawal)
Aloofness(a disposition to be distant and unsympathetic in manner)
Now that I’ve helped a little, read what I wrote again. Have a nice night rest.

Ifyjos:
Her money was for our parents , siblings and a little bit for my child but nothing for me because she never likes me and I never bother myself asking her for money because I knew she will be insulting me reminding me how I ruined my life and because I didn’t finish school , nothing will be well for me . I’m not angry because my guy take care of me and the child. My guy gave me money to buy the foods we ate on Christmas and new year and I know 2020 is breaking limit and he will have a great job and more money even myself , I will get better job

You have entitlement mentality problem. See her money is originally for her. That’s she’s giving the family is because you guys are family and she loves you guys. If she doesn’t love you, she wouldn’t even give your child.
You need to outgrow this your victim mentality and brace yourself up, develop yourself and turn your life around. She owe you nothing, not a dime, all she gives to you is due to the love she has for you

Ifyjos:
Please he is not useless he does take care of me and our child something that a lot of husbands cannot do for their wives.

Madam, go and read where I quoted you. He’s useless if he has no plans and ambitions and if he doesn’t take step towards achieving them. If he only depend on when people give him money to take care of you and your child and does not plan on how to make his life and yours better, doesn’t have a short and long term goal, doesn’t take steps towards achieving his goal,
He’s useless. If he doesn’t encourage you to build yourself and become a woman of substance, doesn’t ask your what your goals and plans are and the steps you are taking towards achieving them, he’s useless

Meliian:
If it's one bf somewhere that gave you all that you've achieved in life today, then I do not only feel sorry for you, I'm embarrassed for you.

I should be telling you that sis. Read my post again. You should tell yourself that and not me. Clearly you do not comprehend what I wrote up there.

Newboss:
No, I am not wicked. I love justice and equity.

You actually expected her to sit back after her sister locked her up in a very shìty Nigerian police station for three days over simple sister sister fight? No way!

I particularly love the way she executed the revenge. The sister literally doesn't know who beat her. Now her sister will feel the full pain she felt when she was using those words on her over her mistakes in life.

I love justice and equity!

Okay

Newboss:
Do not do that. Don't even let anyone know, even by mistake. You did what you had to do after she did what she did.

This is called justice

You are wicked

Meliian:
So because she got impregnated at a younger age now her life is completely useless? If the said bf had money, you all wouldn't be talking like this. Is the guy the first man to drink, smoke or impregnate outside of marriage? The fact that he's penniless doesn't mean he's entirely useless. What about the part where he acknowledges the child? Doesn't that count for something?

No one said he’s useless but he’s really useless. The only thing the lady keeps saying is how he loves her. She never hinted at the fact that he has a goal or he’s trying in one way or the other to build his life or hers. He has no goal, no ambition, no plans. He’s useless and he’s planning on making her useless also. What you are doing to the lady is pure wickedness, quit pushing her towards what will spoil her life, lead her right. Allow her leave the useless guy who has no plans for his future and is just waiting for when he would hit big money as if money fly to meet people at home and focus on her life.
Or did she in any of her post and replies up there hint at a point where the guy called her down to discuss his plans for his and her future and what he plan to do? Except what she keeps hammering that he wold make big money. Yes let’s say by chance he makes big money, since he has no plans for his life, he would squander it. Don’t let him spoil her life. Lead her right.
No he’s not the first man to smoke, but there are lot of smokers who have plans for their life, he doesn’t have any.
No it’s not because he’s an illiterate. There are many literates who went to school because everyone else did and have no planes for their life also.
It’s simply because he has no plans for his life and it’s affecting the lady, because all she sees is him, she doesn’t see herself as someone who needs to plan her own life and become something also.
Also, it’s one thing to have a plan, it’s another thing to work towards it. It’s not by saying it. If he keeps talking about plans without taking steps to achieve them, he’s still useless and she should leave him.
Lead her right madam, except you are equally waiting for a man who will take all your life decision for you, except you are not trying to become a better version of you, except you are not striving hard to be a woman of substance, lead her right. Stop leading her the wrong way. Yes her boyfriend is a useless man. He has no plans for his life and he’s affecting her. I’m sure if he has told her family his plans for his life and hers and his ambition and how he’s working towards it, her sister won’t constantly be against him.
Acknowledging the child is different from being responsible. There are fathers who are irresponsible.

RonaldoVido:
The mentality of dragging people down isn't meant for people who are already up.

Bullshit rests at the bottom of the cup.

It would surprise you to know that a lot of Rich people are psychos and yes they drag people down, but the Rich like them and also the poor

Meliian:
She didn't. If she did she wouldn't have done what she did. She would have just sulked!!!

She did sulk and that’s what led to this, got aloof(unsympathetic) exactly why she did what she did and felt it was the right thing, was very unsympathetic and sees no wrong in it till her sister started getting depressed.

Meliian:
Continue being the victim if you want people to listen to you. Don’t go and plot someone’s murder

Like this quote, makes a lot of sense. However, to each her own. The elder sister too should have "made herself the victim so that people can listen to her". Just because the op didn't go about sulking on what her sister did to her doesn't mean she isn't traumatized by the prison experience too.

You are wrong, she went about sulking. If she didn’t go about sulking, she wouldn’t do what she did.

Ifyjos:
Yes getting pregnant at 15 was bad but I don’t regret having my child because she is the best daughter Ever and I don’t want her to do the same , I want the best for her

I know you want the best for your daughter, that’s what all good mothers out there want for their kids. But it doesn’t happen just by saying it.
If you keep going at it this way and refuse on taking control of your life, I’m sorry you can’t get the best for your daughter except your daughter gets smart and take control of her own life.

Ifyjos:
Yes I cannot take care of her because I’m not working , I make people hair at home And the money is not enough. By the way I love him and he didn’t do anything wrong to me for me to get rid of him.

He’s preventing your growth madam. Everything isn’t love. Okay, what are his future plans and what are the steps he’s taking towards achieving them? Won’t your kids graduate from Nursery or Primary school? Won’t bills keep increasing? Do money crawl or run or jump to meet people at home? What are his short time and long time goals?
Contrary to people’s opinion that you are young, you and I are the same age, but I know what I want which clearly you don’t know what you want.
Take a look at you, what do you want? What step is your guy taking towards helping you achieve your goals? Seriously I’m really sad I don’t have the opportunity to meet you and like have a discussion with you.
Love isn’t all there is to a relationship my dear, you need sense, you need emotional and mental intelligence, you need to know when to walk away. Yes I know there’s a baby and you don’t want to be a single mother. But my dear, it’s better to be a single mother in your situation so you can make something out of yourself. Who told you when you make something with your life, guys won’t rush to date you even with your kids? Take a look at Linda Ikeji, she’s a single mother but you and I know hundred of guys would rush her if she should hint at searching for a boyfriend now and I’m not talking about good for nothing guys, I’m talking about already made guys.

See my dear, men love independent woman. If your guy situation should by chance turn around and he makes it, forget the love he’s showing you now, he would leave you without a second thought, because you are not growing yourself, you are busy preparing for the role of a wife and not the role of a woman. A woman can be anything. Groom yourself, that’s all your sister want, that’s why she is against you and your guy. Groom yourself, groom yourself, stop all this my guy and I. This time is for you to focus on yourself and your daughter. If you want to focus on your guy, go and get married to him already, if you are not married to him yet, please give 90% attention to yourself and your daughter.
If he’s truly a responsible man like you said, leaving him does not mean he has to stop taking responsibilities over his daughter, she’s his daughter. So if he refuses to take responsibilities over his daughter because you decide to leave him, then I’m sorry, but he’s not worth it to start with. I really wish I can have a personal discussion with you.

Habakus:
OP,I hope you get to see my comment because it's coming late.
Never ever open up to your sister or her former guy the role you played in this whole debacle.
I repeat: never ever,at least, not now.
If you do,your Sister would never truly forgive you,and would likely find a way to revenge; so the cycle continues.

You are wicked. How can you advise her not to ever open up to her sister? Are you not thinking about her own peace of mind and her sister’s sanity? So you mean she should keep living in guilt and her sister should become a mentally ill patient or a suicidal patient. Yes her sister might not totally forgive her but at least she would have a clear conscience and her sister would know the truth and they both would be free and with time, they might get back to how they used to be. But her not opening up would actually also lead to a dent in their relationship because she would never be able to relate with her sister like before, the guilt will always be there.
And not everyone has a wicked soul. Who told you the sister would equally seek revenge? Again, I’m telling you saying she shouldn’t open up to her sister is wickedness, pure wickedness.

Mercycity:
Please forgive your sister and help her.Just send an sms to the guy with evidence that the whole thing is a set-up.The evidence can be you including all the phone numbers in the sms.Forward the same sms to your sister,parents and anyone that can repair the broken relationship.Use a new number.Tell them it was to punish the couple because their shakara too much

She should forgive her sister? What was that her sister’s offense again? Please do well to remind me

Ramanto:
Other areas of life like......? Madam, the guy is smart. Take it or leave it. If he was failing all through, would you debate if he's a dullard?

Lmao being book smart is different from being smart in other areas. And yes if he was a dullard, I might conclude he’s not book smart but will never conclude he’s not smart in other areas. You need to meet a lot of people to realize being book smart is different from being smart in other areas. There are people who are book smart but dumb in other things that you start wondering how they manage to pass their exams. And also, I never said the guy isn’t intelligent, I’m saying there’s a difference between academic intelligence and others and he can’t judge his intelligence based on academics alone.
Good night

moscow406:
And what other areas are you inferring; street wise. Intelligence just doesn't mean the ability to study your book and pass your exams only, that's being a dork. Intelligence means the ability to apply what you've learnt, high analytical skills, diversity, dynamism, the ability to perform in different fields exceedingly well, great conversationist, a problem solver. I can deviate into any field I want and perform without hiccups, it's who I am.

I don't need to prove anything to you before you believe, you don't even know me. And mind you, people who can get into Government owned medical schools in the South West on merit list without pulling strings are not just only brilliant, they are also intelligent, Ask around

Lmao, you don’t me also and you don’t have an idea if I’m equally a medical student. And no I never said you are not intelligent, I’m letting you know what you already confirmed up there and that’s “Intelligence isn’t all about reading and passing exam.” It’s about the ability to apply what you have learnt to your day to day activities.

And no, I don’t want prove also. Good night.

moscow406:
I got into Medical school 3rd on the MERIT LIST after dumping 300 level of a Federal University with a cgpa of 4.86. The best in the department....I can go on and on...But that's for another day. I get exams to pass

You are academically intelligent. Not even intelligent self, you are brilliant. Isn’t it what you were taught you read and even if you read extra, it’d still be something related to the course you are studying. But let’s even agree with you that you are intelligent. That’s academic intelligence. The question is are you intelligent in other areas of life? That’s when you can say you are truly intelligent.

souloho19:
Horladstar thanks brother happy new year. I pray this new year brings incredible blessings your way man!


Helenbee queenitee Mhistahrah extremelygolden napoleonsammy omoyami cerowo nickshrapnel Ann2012 doctorexcel vakjay08 ekopsparrowayara igyeseh mekonglobal Happy New year to you all and every moniker skipping my memory rn. Jah bless

Happy new year. Cheers to a beautiful 2020

Samofamo:
u did not posses any greater wisdom,but deciet and cunningness which is not wisdom,not to talk of greater wisdom.... Olosho supporting slay queen Dem go marry dem finish Dem go still go dey Bleep there husband friend....come dey born bastard for the man make him dey train,life destroyer.

All the best for your life.