₦airaland Forum

Nothing wrong with a woman sponsoring her marriage if she is the major/sole income provider of the home.

luba9876:
if the nanny/househelp does all of these, then what do you do for children as a parent? do you think it's easy being lonely, having no one around to atleast say hi? I feel you only need to warn her on discussing your family issues with outsiders.

The parents are working hard to take care of their kids.. not everyone has the luxury of staying at home!

adonbilivit:
come back and make sense

what??

steffans:
That's why it's important for at least a parent should be responsible for their children's upkeep and growing up..

Rather than feeling career righteous..

Sacrifices makes a family whole..

I didn't say don't go back to work..
Let the kids grow to a certain age b4 u go back to work..

How will they feed kids if they are not working??

The Nanny is your employee. She is working for you.

You pay her from 7am to 7pm to take care of your kids.

Sit down with her and be firm. Tell her that you do not want her taking your kids to anyone's home when she's working for you. Make sure she knows that you are very unhappy with that attitude.

In short, tell her that there might be consequences for her actions.

If she is bored, she can take the kids for a walk or watch TV in the house.

hahn:
Op, herein lies the solution to your friend's problem. She can even opt to kill the bride to be so that she can reclaim her god given man. Afterall, god told her himself.

You are spot on! Killing the bride even makes more sense

ggirl4real:
Ma'am, I don't understand your point please. The man says he's married...

Abi na Op confuse me ni

Op come and explain ooo

I quote you "...the husband to be is telling her that he is married and will be wedding this year october..."

Married and wedding as used here is confusing

Me myself, I'm confused. Na OP sabi. I am only being sarcastic with my post.

juicee1:
its very difficult for women to say that there were wrong. Is it right for a woman to verbally abuse her man?

The woman admitted her fault in this story ...

juicee1:
I read this thread from a-z hoping to see cococandy and freecocoa and their position on the OP. It went awkward as usual.

@raayah

When last did you see 2 men throwing verbal abuses at each other like women do? Men throw punches, that is their style.

When last did you see 2 women throwing punches at each other? Women abuse verbally, that is their style.



If you don't want your husband to use his style on you, don't use your style on him. After using your style on him, being the initiator, you have no right to tell him how to retaliate or what style to use in return.

If america fires a missile to russia and russia retaliates with a nuclear weapon, america has no right to whine about the method russia used in retaliating.

If you throw caution to the wind by verbally abusing your hubby, he'll also toe thesame line by physically abusing you. You brought war into your home the very moment you decided to shout like a crazed soldier, and in war all is fair.

Keep your mouth shut instead of nagging and daring your husband. Always think about the consequences of your actions before embarking on them.



#this post doesn't support abuses.

its very difficult for men to say that there were wrong. Is it right for a man to beat up his woman

God's word is Final..

If he says that man is her husband, that's it!

I would recommend that she fasts for 3 months to stop her future husband from marrying the other woman.

The Devil is a liar!

headsup:
Hi Folks,
Welcome me to nairaland!

What are you going to contribute to nairaland that we haven't seen before??

Why should we welcome you??

bilulu:
is dat a name of an animal place or tin?

... you tell me

Happiness87:
here are the lines


pay attention to the emboldened parts
the woman clearly acknowledged that she was at fault, she has been acting that way, but the man used to tolerate her.

but She went too far that day and the man mistakenly hit him, unexpectedly, she also said that was the only time her husband had laid hands on her.

This is reality, not trying to fantasize perfection. She made her points very clear. Am not supporting any form of maltreatment, but this is real, mistakes could happen and the woman clearly stated that she was at fault hence advising her daughter not to take advantage of his husband's calmness, her point is very clear

one deadly mistake that she made cost her an injury... What if it had been harder and she had gotten a broken skull and died! One mistake to another. People make mistakes day and night! Why beat her up for one mistake?

Alcatraz001:
In life, some people can't be reasoned with so they have to be banished from the face of the earth for ever....they have to be murdered.

Ibos can't be reasoned with anymore and this goes beyond the internet.

How can you put this sort of thing on the internet where you have millions of Yoruba youths watching on a site owned by a Yoruba? Don't you realise the future leaders of Yoruba nation/Nigeria are seeing this open hate you have for them while still flocking to their land and prospering?

I know one day all these insults will crystallize into actual
violence on ground and all Ibos will know one alcatraz001/always warned them on nairaland.

Continue digging ibo graves....

Don't mind the ignorant on nairaland, they do not know the consequences of their words.

linusbnn:
Who will bail him after?. Think smart my dear,for there is no perfect method to live happily in marriage. Love and prayers with forgiving heart gives you beautiful home

why didn't my husband forgive me instead of injuring me.. is it only women that should forgive

linusbnn:
You are a product of a CAT AND RAT relationship,thus,it is your biznexx.. But If you think leaving yur future husband is cool because your mum did so,then you must be an EMPTY VESSEL

where in my post did I talking about leaving my future husband because of my mom.

sauceEEP:
Sometimes silence is golden, no matter what some things are better left unsaid. Just look at kinda picture your painting of your dad and to think you just acknowledged he's a beast speaks volume.

We are anonymous on the internet. Sometimes a person needs to know that he is wrong. We cannot sugarcoat things.

What lesson is to be learnt from this?

OP, did she tell you that she does not know who the father is or did you "hear" it.
Also, what makes you think she does not want to keep the baby??

beey2:
You are not married yet n ur mother hv already taught u "How not to enjoy ur Marriage". My advise 4u is to take the one the good ADVICE by the OP n thank God all ur life.

I will not take OP's advice.. Thank you!

lonelydora:
I advice my friends not to marry any girl that grew up under separate homes. And you are one of such girls. No offence intended.

That's ok! Everyone has preferences.

alrahmanonline:
So what you're insuniating is that your daddy is a beast? and your mum usually nag to constantly get the beating of her life? You're still very young,I'll advice you not to follow your mother footstep so that you won't have a beast as husband...

Yes he is.. why should I lie to myself? There are good people and bad people everywhere. Unfortunately, he was a bad man!

Happiness87:
you misunderstood that line read it again.

Her husband never maltreated her, he was a calm man, but She was taking advantage of his calmness to nag always, one day, the man mistakenly hit her, that's what the woman was telling her daughter, that her husband is a gentleman, but She should not take undue advantage of his calmness, your parents case is totally different from this storyline

ok.. So if my wife nags me, I should hit her to the extent of injuring her head??

peppyluv02:
Women this women that..husband material nko?
Welcome to Nigeria where touts,Rapists and Pedophiles want a wife material and a virgin. Mtchewwwww

Hahaa... only men have standards ooh!

Once a woman says that she wants a certain type of man.. all hell will be let loose! She is too picky lol

shinacollins:
I was just ruminating over the issue of sex today and I just wonder what the heck!
Why is it that when a woman gives in to sex they feel as if they are doing the man a favour?
As far as I am concerned... it is 50/50.
They both have needs, why the sanctimonious attitude when it comes to your body yearning.
As a young man I respected the ladies big time and I have a lot of them as friends (No strings attached) Female friends then would tag a guy that observes decorum "a fool".
Wao! So babes can pretend like no man's business..... all in the light of playing virgin Mary.

I am very confused.. Is it not the same men that swear they must marry a virgin.
A woman decides to hold back and you are still not satisfied?

What should Nigerian women do now?

bisifoundation:
My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks(handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up. Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

Madam just keep living! It will get easier. Your children will grow and take care of you.
You are working, taking care of triplets and doing a p.h.d?? You are super woman !

It will get better!

bisifoundation:
My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.
Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing thru, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.
This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep.

You are not a Lazy woman. A good man will be appreciate you!

collyno1985:
H








HmmmM. Go ahead but I pity u. And dat ur silly mom.

Have u care to ask ur mom what she is doing...? or u just has to take sides and see ur father as a bad man.

U beter leave dat ur mom go out and seek for advice. Cus I see her destroying ur life like hers. Don't end up alone. It's dangerous Dan Ebola.

No, I was there and saw the physical abuse. She is doing very fine! Her life is not destroyed. My siblings are doing fine. My moms Job pays very well. I don't spend nights in the hospital. There are no bruises on my mother's body.

I am in a great relationship with a man who respects and cares for me! I live a very comfortable life. (Check my previous posts).

My mother's life is not destroyed.

Thanks for caring!

Oh my God. That is terrible!

But I don't blame her, depression is a strong mental illness!!

We need more facilities for helping people with mental illness.

Wow!

Women putting prices on themselves like a commodity!

Well, If you are going to price yourself, get a competitive price.

Why should a man pay 100,000 for a woman when a can get an equal version of the same woman for 10,000?

So after everything he asked me to go, which I did. On my way to buy my market I wasn't myself. I felt something coming. When I got back to the market I couldn't sell anything, I was feeling tired inside of me.

To cut the long story short, weeks later after the encounter with the fake prophet. I started having feelings that my head was heavy, my eyes turning. I couldn't keep all to mysef again so I told my mum all. And ask her to take me out to where I can receive my healing. I haven't given my life to christ then so my mum and I went to badagry to meet a alfa.

This is when you should have gone to the hospital!

Wow!

Oba Akiolu

Empty threats lol!

If the boy cannot pay, will she kick him out!?

Parents should give stern punishment and follow through.