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 Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 11:57pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
MY OWN STORIES, READ, ENJOY AND ADVICE www.nairaland.com/1207026/love-favour www.nairaland.com/1183464/standing-up-community www.nairaland.com/1138378/different-style-work |
| Romance › Re: Can My Different Style Work On Her by Rapmaestro(op): 11:42pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
SORRY 4 TAKING SO LONG ....Crazy way of replying you From Abiodun, I read it more than 10times, "Oh! She had replied, I pray it should be positive o", I silently prayed, I did a crucifix or cross sign and ripped the white envelope paper and brought out the content, it read thus; ...Dear Maestro, How you doing? Fine I hope? I just wanted you to know that I knew you secretely admired me, I was only playing hard to get, you are a very funny chap and unique, I've never been wooed the way you did. I've had many admirers, but none had caught my attention like you. My heart does a tingling jingle whenever I see you, if Love is heart longing to see you, then I'm sure I'm in love, IN LOVE WITH YOU.. I'm a lady of short words as I know you are also, call me 080234.... Love from Abiodun, Lolz, she even had it signed with a kiss, as there was lipstick stain at the end of the letter. I almost did 50 backflips in my small shop, I was extremely happy that if I were the owner of the shop, I would sell recharge cards for free that day.. ....I picked up my business phone and dialled the written number.. TRRINNG TRRING, the phone rang and was quickly received at the other end, "Hello" A voice came on, I recognized that sweet, tiny voice, it was the voice of Abiodun... |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 7:17pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
*#YAWNS#* good morninq peeps #USE URINE CLEAR EYES, SO NA SO I SLEEP SINCE EHN! We still dey evening sha, RUNS AWAY# |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 6:51pm On Mar 11, 2013*. Modified: 7:14pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
khimwhyte: SLEAKID IS ILL.i'm not surprised |
| Politics › Re: Photos: Former Gov. Ayo Fayose's Sister, Bimpe Sorinolu Buried In London by Rapmaestro(m): 3:17pm On Mar 11, 2013*. Modified: 6:55pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
R.I.P noni |
| Celebrities › Re: Chris Brown, Smoking Weed And Getting Paid A Million Dollars by Rapmaestro(m): 3:15pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Doesn't luk lyk him |
| Nairaland General › Re: Homeless Man Feeding On Sacrificial Food In Lagos by Rapmaestro(m): 3:13pm On Mar 11, 2013*. Modified: 6:58pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Sumbody shout Amen #TOUCHES LEFT POCKET, TOUCHES RIGHT POCKET, WHO STEAL MY BB?, JUST because I SIDDON 4 FRONT SEAT, UNA DON SHOW ME PEPPER ABI# |
| Family › Re: Bizzare: Eight-year-old Boy Marries 61-year-old Woman In South Africa by Rapmaestro(m): 3:12pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
SMH 4 STUP1DITY |
| Politics › Re: 200 Ex-militants To Be Trained As Pilots – Amnesty Office by Rapmaestro(m): 3:11pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Plane crash go come plenty |
| Sports › Re: Top 50 Richest Footballers by Rapmaestro(m): 3:10pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Where's d proof? |
| Phones › Re: Samsung Galaxy S4 With Eye-Controlled Smart Scroll by Rapmaestro(m): 3:06pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Later on, ur fart from ya a$s will scroll d screen, everythinq about technology has an effect... Let's just stick wit d one wit less effect like my Nokia3310{I LUV U, JAWE} |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 12:10pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
Foxy_Ultimate: Love... I have them all but no space to put them in my back pack... Make you no worry, I will bring the dust from them bombs...me no want those ones o, brinq kilishi 4 me o |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 10:04am On Mar 11, 2013*. Modified: 2:39pm On Mar 11, 2013 |
dj5naira: Mice troll! . . .Mynd ya business> Drop it like it's hot > I know u qonna reply, xo like BBUTT-IN(button), I'll press da speed-punches/cos like guilletine, i'm known 2 desecrate-Mcees/Maestro secrete-best-thing/i'on nid a padlock on ur cap 2 Caplock-punches/cos like chinese qeneral, i perform-launches//like Cowbell, i'll send u outta biz like Loya/cos even wit ya descreted head, i'll still hav a poor-suya/worst meat... Cos like jumonq's mother, u'll remain captive and end up dead like YE-SOYA//Star-W.hores....tell that 2 khim, cos when she's on sleak, she tends 2 spar-boss/i stop my scarr-on-boss, xo u'll know i'm qud at boss-stop/not like aqbero.. But i'll b fast wit broken bottle, to appease ur forced-brawl//f**k it, i tot japanese Warriors are known 2 spar-wit-swordz... /Stammerer like u, how u tend 2 bar-wit-wordz/wit punches fast, i scarr-in-folds/i mark-wit-blood...xo life mirror on thinq air, i shatter dreams and hold disc 2 CCRACK-RE-CHORD//100% sortex, xo don't b surprised when i parboil ya life.. 2 hav-u-hot/I box-office... Xo u'll know i carve-d-spott/i dive wide in khims ppussy 2 hav-a-shot {i hope u don't mind, Sleak?}/i snap spine, xo lyk sponqe bob qame, I scrap-ya-thought//like lace-clothinq, i leave a hole and sew-da-part/MAESTRO da ace-good-thinq, i eat thinq and chew-da-fart/i spew-ya-bad...not a qay, but wit kalaschinokv, i screw-ya-dad//homey, learn-respect and qet a deqree/cos y'all ma dawq, xo when I earn-da-pet and put a diqq-real/i cook-a-cereal/xo we can hav a crunch on ya jaw, den i'll book-ah-qreen-weed// 2 knock u dead, i'on nid a knuckle/xo i can hav u belt 4 life, xo i'm qonna qo help u steal-ah-buckle/like Zluk's bbreast, i hope 2 feel-4-suckle/MAESTRO chuckle...xo when i put on oxyqen mask, i brinq in chloroform 2 choke-you/f**k you//Trumpet, i press and hav u blow-urself/not suicidal mission like B.H, but i'll hav u throw-up-here/i'll hav u f**k ur bear...xo ur offsprinq should come lyk 33" warm-up-beer/i f**k half-raid, xo u'll born-ah-fear// > > Eqalitarian civic duty, xo when i sweep-ya-spilled blood...fashola should try commend me/i enter and have u creep-ya-chilled-qod...all o' u should try come-end me/i 1st-hack(festac) ya and hav u bleep-ya-spraine-chord...xo like darksmoke in harry potter I tour-meant(torment)-newbie// > > all I want is ya waist, it's iyanya > yea..call me Lawma, cos i want ya "waste", dat's cos u hiqh-on-libido/lyk khim-da-b1tch of sleak-da-impotent-f00l.. We all know u put hiqh ur tiqh-on-d|do/f**k jackbauer, cos lyk Suicidal-doq, we all know, ur sh?t won't sell even if we siqht-it-on-billboard//i'm like a phoenix, i qet burnt in brawl..but i ccum-back-2-life/sleak, khim on my bed, who ccum-put-her(compter), b4 my john-tom'll-hack-her-wit-knife// |
| Literature › Re: Love In My Favour by Rapmaestro(op): 9:21am On Mar 11, 2013 |
......GGGBBWAAK!!! It happened so fast that I could not say how it really happened, all I knew was that The angry Kez had broken the back window, with a punch. Before we left the party, Kez was more on the high side than the rest of us, so the effect of the liquor and anger over spoiling his swagg had caused his breaking the windscreen. "Who's that? What's that?" the man had asked on hearing the sound, "Whaat, who broke that windscreen?", the woman sitting beside had asked angrily "My windscreen, you miscreant, you drunken thugs, stop that bike now" the man instructed, For where? Who no know go know, if the man call police nko? My thought "Sorry sir" I pleaded, while that was going on, we were still on motion and the Prado too, Tuna was afraid of what would transpire if he halted, "Noo!!!" he shouted and raced off, I had prepared my body for the get-away stunt that was going to take place, Tuna sped off, my conscience had me still begging from the speeding bike, "we are very sorry sir" I had pleaded, Kez was even more angry at my plead, he shouted at me "Ssshh.. Shut up jorh, he's a stupid man", after saying that, he had his palm raised, his five fingers extended to the far behind Prado jeep, "Iya e, your mother" he cursed. ......The Prado jeep pursued, but bajaj was not cut out for that kind of bullsh?t, we made a detour through a short street and eloped.. We made it home before the rain started, truely, it had rained cat and dog that night, even if I could represent it with Lion and tiger, It would have explained it better, the rain was so wild, with powerful and echoeing thunderflash. The thunder had me scared after recalling the few hours. ...The pain seeped through my body again, most especially my as$, It hurt badly, I had added salt to injury by rubbing aboniki balm to the burnt black as$ {na joke o, my yansh fine gaan, u fit use do model self}, I slept with the pepperish feeling of my Oyinbo a$s..... That was two weeks before I met Christianna |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 11:45pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
It's derailed already.. |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 10:24pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Who's up next? D |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 10:13pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Larry-Sun:Smirnoff aren't doinq d major one yet... Call darey art alade 4 me, dos circus dat he shot a video wit... banikidi mallam |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 6:18pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Emperortj93: owkay, na here u come hide whr we dey patiently wait 4 u 4 ur thread. Bt brov, u no say wetin u dey do guys no pure bah?bros eh, all work no play, make jack a dull boy.. Here na my play play arena o |
| Literature › Re: Love In My Favour by Rapmaestro(op): 6:16pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Emperortj93: Bravo bravo bravo bravo bravo brov. Bt Y is dis update short and u re uploadin irregularly or dem nova repair ur phone finish?yea, u knw dose enqineer nah... I'll b usinq a friend's fone 4 next 3days |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 4:28pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Uniquexty: ROASTING PAN!!! *hops up and down in fright* Where's Aunty Efe?Lol, gently sis, don't break the eatable part on ur body na |
| Literature › Re: Love In My Favour by Rapmaestro(op): 4:16pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
.......They were divided into two groups, some where arguing while the other group seems like they were apologizing, then I saw a man come from behind the two groups, probably the head pastor, he had a bible underneath his armpit, he came out and started telling the apologizing group to stop begging, "Leave them, let them talk all they like, it must be done" the head pastor shouted. "Ehen, you've still got the gut to talk abi Pastor Mattew, the entire congregration are against that idea, why will you say the tithe money should be used to buy cars for the pastors?" A man said, My mind was jolted back to him, the man that came out first, I saw him, I did a thorough scanning of him and the woman beside him, they had the resemblance of Christie and Peter all over them, from their physique, to their height, skin texture e.t.c, infact Peter looked like his mum while Christie was the opposite, those two were obviously Christie and Peter's parent, the woman held a small girl of about the age of Four, probably Christie's sibling. My mind went back two weeks before I met christie, ********************flashback to two-weeks before meeting Christie************************* Friday night: 8:00 P.M I and three friends of mine namely Joshua A.k.A josh, Kazeem A.K.A kez, Tunde A.K.A Tuna pumping, we were coming back from a friends party, We were on Tuna's bajaj motorcycle, we were four on it, Tuna behind the steering as the rider, Kez and Josh in the middle, while I was the last, sitting uncomfortably on an iron plate, {aarggh, that night, my yansh pained me}, Tuna was speeding so fast, we were trying to get home before another round of rain caught us, the rain had fallen earlier during the afternoon, it was not much but this particular one, from the wild wind, chilly weather it was going to rain cat and dog, the not-so-surprising pot-holes on Nigeria roads, particularly the one we were riding on was filled with the earlier fallen rain. .....VVOOMM VVOOOMMM, we were speeding when all of a sudden a Prado jeep sped past us, spilling water from a pot-hole filled on us, the driver, I think was not aware he also had a woman beside him, they sped past without saying anything, Tuna was vexed, he shouted at the speeding jeep, we joined in the shouting spree, most especially Kez, cos he was wearing a white jean and he loves swag too much. Tuna pressed his foot angrily on the pedal to meet up to the now far ahead Prado, we eventually got closer, closer! closer!! We eventually got beside it and Tuna shouted while knocking the windshield, "Hey, why you pour water on us nah?", he was able to get the attention of the driver, because he wind down and asked Tuna to repeat, "Young Man, what are you saying?" he asked, before Tuna could answer, we heard GGBBWWWAAK |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 3:22pm On Mar 10, 2013 |
Uniquexty: *Stands on hind limbs. Hands akimbo. Horns on alert* what is happening here?nothing o..  *lemme get ready the roasting pan* |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 9:17am On Mar 10, 2013 |
Oahray: lmao... That's my sweet bushmeatLolz.. After her expedition, na inside pot she go enter next abi? |
| Fashion › Re: Jim Iyke's Outfit At AMVCA 2013: Hit Or Miss? by Rapmaestro(m): 9:07am On Mar 10, 2013 |
Chai 1st degree madness even If Obj wear dis, he go fine pass him... Mtcheew, see me see wahala o, i no know who send me 2 waste data plans on this sh?t.. Oya O.P giv me back my MB 2 Likes |
| Literature › Re: Nairaland Detection Club by Rapmaestro(m): 10:56pm On Mar 09, 2013 |
Missinq a lot sha.. |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 10:48pm On Mar 09, 2013*. Modified: 10:40am On Mar 10, 2013 |
R€$P€CT Z R€CIPROCAL > Shout out 2 all sick vets dat are keepinq it TIGHT/not like sum f00lz wit 'biceps of chin-chin' and dey say Samson has qiven dem MIGHT/donatinq punches 2 their face, z like obasanjo qivinq up TITHE/cos it's daily, xo when I stop, den dey'll reqain deir f**kin SIGHT/i'll be fast wit swordz, lyk 'early-lifes' of sick vets, claiminq 2 b a sickeninq KNIGHT//5Naira Dj, why d f**k do u nid 'D1CK'(dic/dictionary) 2 f**k up dat faqq SLEAK/maybe u be H0M0, cos we now know dat ur pun z a FFUCK-TARD-BLEAK/Sleak d lesby b4, but now h0m0,diss quy must be a RRETARD-PHREAK/punchez from Maestro....call dat a DAWq-TAG-LEAK/bullsh?t from their mouth lyk dey spittin MUSTER-WEAK//where ma UZI? Cos i nid 2 DRILL-DISS-FAqqS-BRAIN/i KILL-WIT-FIST-FAST-dan-TRAIN..xo don't qo about shoutinq u sick, cos i'll PEEL-UR-B1TCH's-PANT-FREE{kHIM}//Mehn! I see my niqqa, callinq me his ADOPTED-BRUVA/u prolly hiqh on weed, cos u know u b ma OPTED-MOWER/'MISTA'man, don't qo about sayinq that,cos wit punches from me, ur fall will b CONDUCTED-FROM-ah-TOWER/ > >first of all, GO DOWN LOW > khim, datz d whistle 4 u 2 suck SLEAK-DRY/from d spit u were tauqht by sleak, we all know u both WEAK-DIE/yet u form a SICK-FLY/u sick true, more-or-less lyk 'H.I.V INFECTED MEAT-PIE'//i'on nid flour in khim's ppu$$y 2 have 'ah-Eqq-ROLL'/barz 2 her a$$, datz when sleak will hav 2 'BEG-BRO'/'PARDON HER, NO TEAR HER A$$,ABEGI-MAESTRO'/i'll b secretive lyk 'HE-RAN'(iran) 2 shell-yo// > { > f**k it, who came down when i TOPPLE-D-LADDER/no lesby in here, especially COUPLES-WIT-BLADDER{we dont want piss here}/we GROPPLE-D-BADDER/yea we anqry, cos he'll prolly -B-MADDER//like balls 2 d mirror, we b fast 2 SHATTER-DREAMS/we MASTER-FILM/cos like director, i'll "CUUTT" and d actress killed z propably d LATTER-khim// |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 12:48pm On Mar 09, 2013 |
Let dem show.... We'll show em lyk show dem camp... > YES! YES!! I'm not NL but let em ccum in me, cos like khim we all know she's a b1tch nah/yea she's qud, we all know she sucks faqqs blood like she's a witch-now/NL textcees now illuminatin dis rum wit briqhtness,like BABA don press d switch-bar/ain't leqend-of-d-seeker but know wit time i've learnt 2 Sick(seek) verse/Sleak plus khim equals 2 lesby,cos if u failed dat calc.. WAEC should score u a weak-maths// > >brinq it on biatches > d only time we'll eva hear those two faqqs b druqs/ will be when dey wanna abort their preqnancy wit concotted druqs of buqs/i'll b fast 2 blind dis faqqs wit punches,xo like titanic hittinq iceberq dey'll b blinded by foq// khim girl, u'll make fame as a runs-qirl.. But i'm sure sleak won't allow, just 2 make sure he also sees his fun-there/buy my product, cos like companies, i tend 2 run-fear// no be say we d0pe,but we try 2 make-name/while u others are like alaba boiz, u tend 2 fake-qame/ "I was told by sleak not 2 ba2 peeps" khim said, dat's cos he scared of us smackinq ya a$$, while he luk in shame//we've even qot peeps forminq class teacher/mo'f**kers, speaks like inmate, dat serves as barz-preacher/mo'f**kers will hav their life stuck out like car stickers//i'll hav ur life closed-down like ladipo market/ xo like my literature story of prose-now i'll type punches 2 have ur nose flattened like poll-jacket/ batri low, i'll continue later 1 Like |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 11:23pm On Mar 08, 2013 |
Meta4element: ::::...sipz alomo with Kpuf kpuf...:: yeeah!! My glocks are fast in killin G'zzz/they way i block u beepin ßeez/cos am quick with ßlood nd sippin teas/u proLLy fillin diss?/4uk it ah wil pay techz on ''ßITCH'' dan creapin Ddddicks/cos ion nid 2 be shootin films/2 freak y'aLL dan ''lootin scenes''...sick,f**k it, u bit off ya sh?t, try new stuff niqqa |
| Rap Battles › Re: Flow For Rank by Rapmaestro(m): 11:22pm On Mar 08, 2013 |
Meta4element: ::::...sipz alomo with Kpuf kpuf...:: yeeah!! My glocks are fast in killin G'zzz/they way i block u beepin ßeez/cos am quick with ßlood nd sippin teas/u proLLy fillin diss?/4uk it ah wil pay techz on ''ßITCH'' dan creapin Ddddicks/cos ion nid 2 be shootin films/2 freak y'aLL dan ''lootin scenes''...u bit off ya sh?t, try new stuff niqqa |
| Literature › Re: Love In My Favour by Rapmaestro(op): 10:37pm On Mar 08, 2013 |
.....She was looking at me unknowingly, and when she did realized I was looking at her, she turned. "So, wetin you dey do now nah?" I was thrown a question by Peter, "Small P, na God we dey look him face o, no work yet and I never secure admission, you nko?" I threw back a question to him too, "Well Swagger Baba, you know say I no brilliant as you people na but i'm ahead of y'all in sport activities, so I decided to join a karate/taekwando school, now i'm a holder of blackbelt in Footwork of Shenshi" he replied, Shenshi? Only God knows what that means, my thought. ...."So, O.k you guys know each other right? Now you've totally forgotten that I was standing with both of you, happy reconcilation then" Christie intercepted our discussion, her raised voice says it all that she was vexed, "Sorry!!!" I and Peter chorused together unknowingly, "Meet my elder sister Christianna" Peter said with a chuckle, "you guys have met right?" he asked no one in particular... "Yes" I replied, "Ok how did you guys meet? I'm eager to know" he teased, "She..she..she" mehn I couldn't say it, "Stop it Pete, Go away, leave my visitor.. Oya shoo go away, you'll see later" she was shooing peter away while struggling to push Peter, or Pete as I now knew a new nick of his, the guy is huge, so he was not even bulging from the push of his lightier and skinnier sister.. "If you don't tell me, I won't leave you guys" he teased and gave a teasing laugh.. "OK, she..she..she.." I was about to say something when we heard footsteps and raised voices coming from ahead, It looks as if the meeting ended with arguement... .....One by one, they all came out, each and every one of them dressed in suit or coat..whatever jawe, then I saw him among the few clustered people propably arguing about something... |
*pats her head*
/so d way i spit on students books/ah cud slay more piqz dan cheapest cooks/so my techz wil pay catz d way u Vets wil play rats cos y'all wil be lackin ''FOUNDATION'' lyke pitz of lopest hooks!!1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 (of 135 pages)