₦airaland Forum

FortuneTeller:
My hubby's friend married a nurse. While she was based in Nigeria, she did very well, but due to school and licensing, she is unable to work where we are. I was going about helping her find work, when my husband told me to stop and leave it. Her husband does not want her to work because he feels she will be too proud. Can you imagine? He wants her to sit home with his child while he chases women. I believe all women should be financially independent in a marriage to avoid these issues.

Such men are not enlightened. Education, sometimes, doesn't translate to civility.

uzuede4:
Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef

Madam, read the post again and you will understand me better. Thanks all the same.

safarigirl:
this your topic get as e be.

I have a lot to say on it based in real life happenings. The beauty about life is, most of these things we say online are error-filled, when you get to that point in life to test your theory, you'll realize that talk is cheap and fantasy is different from reality.

Me sef no dey do relationship advice again, you don marry? wetin you sabi?

Have you ever supported me on any issue?

Benita27:
I beg to differ bro @ the embolden. Let's take a look at two real examples.

My landlord is a Yoruba Muslim, works with shell BP, wife Yoruba too who's a degree holder, but for some reasons she's a full house wife. mind you, he has money to set up a business for her if he won't let her go into the labour market to scout for jobs, but he didn't, their first child is 14 so you can guess how long they've been married. I see it as they're doing what works for them in their marriage.

Second lady is a Uniben graduate, her husband works with Shell too, now he asked her not to work but pays her salary for seating at home on monthly basis, and is working for them...i wouldn't say it's because these men are not enlightened, they have their reasons.

I personally wouldn't want to be one of these wives in the future, still can't condemn such women for their decisions cos marriage is about compatibility, if a man is ok with his wife not working, and the wife is ok being a full house wife, then so be it.

In the end, they start becoming burden to family members and friends when the man loses the power to produce resources.

Working in Shell or any other multi-nationals is not a pre-requisite for being enlightened.

Benita27:
You're right, but what i'm trying to say is...there are men who don't want their wives working.

Sis, such men lack wisdom and enlightment. Women should be free to engage in activities that can promote their visions as far as such visions do not manifest into evil.

TheSociopath:
Thos os fp worthy. I always wonder too. Some women just want to experience how a wedding day looks like. Done just want to get married because of post pressure. Marriage is more than that. A woman with money and vision commands respect from her husband

Most women will only discover the importance of financial independence when they lose their husbands or when he's no longer capable of providing for the family. My sympathy.

Benita27:
Because you've not seen doesn't make it impossible.
There're ladies with degrees whose husbands have subjected to full time house wives, of course they agreed on what they feel will make their marriage work.
Being financially dependent before marriage still doesn't make a lady visionless, is one without prospect that's visionless.

Having a degree doesn't make you productive. What you are doing with your degree and life in general matters a lot. There are many young women with degrees that are not better than the labels of bread because they do nothing with it.

marvelck:
I thought naija girls no longer give guys fake numbers or a fake name whenever they are been asked out by a guy. Felt if she doesn't fancy the guy, then there is no need giving him her number (which is typical of most girls). So why give someone a fake name and a fake number? A friend of mine was recently played by a girl, who gave her a fake name (instead of her real name) and also a phone number that has been switched off ever since.....hehehehe.

1. Only kids do that (so I thought). Now see the second point below:

2. If she does that, it could mean she is not interested in having anything to do with the guy. People have preferences in life. Telling people your name or giving them your number is a private stuff. It is not by force. You can't force people to tell you their names or phone numbers. Those are part of their identity.

Benita27:
Op, how about those your male counterparts who want or desire for 'house wives' who will seat their ass at home 24/7 even when they're eager to be financially independent for reasons these men know best?...you blame women too much.

So you mean a man will marry a lady who is a medical doctor or one who is into exportation of some commodities even before marriage and force her to sit at home? I don't think that's possible. Read the post again. I'm talking about the status of the woman even before marriage; she needs to be engaged and productive even before marriage.

Laveda:
I hope you saw the part where I also said a man is supposed to provide for his woman?

Tell me, how many men go into marriage with the mindset that their wives would provide for them? Who does that?

Laveda:
I'm sure any right thinking lady knows this.

But a man should be able to provide for his woman.

Very good you said 'right-thinking ladies'. So, going by what's obtainable, I think many are not part of the 'right-thinking' group!

NLbeachparty:
A lady should be financially dependant not just to be comfortable to herself but also to have self confidence in herself.

For more information on the nairaland beach party check my signature and profile.

That is one aspect that most young women ignore; you can't even carry out your own family project because you must wait for the man! What a life!

TEVLI:
[color=#688E23]Tell them o!! My uncle who recently got married is broke, Makes me wonder if "He who has found a Good Wife" has really found a good thing?? Or just another Money-Siphoning Stuff[/color]

Not everyone who finds a wife finds a good thing. Only those who find a good wife. There should be more explanation to that statement.

When I see some young financially dependent ladies talking and planning excitedly to tie the knot with a man as fast as possible, I can't help but wonder if they are actually planning for the actual 'married life' or just the wedding day

Financial independence in marriage, as it is required for men, is also required for women; just that the proportion of its importance could vary for both genders. It beats my imagination to know that most of us who claim to 'study' the Bible have failed to realize the fact that women are meant to be helpers in all ramifications as regards marriage and not some idle hands who enter marriage financially unprepared. I am not saying women should compete financially with men in marriage; what I am saying in essence is that women should also exhibit some level of financial independence or capacity in order to achieve a financially stable family setting in marriage! It is one very reason why I have always encourage our Nigerian mothers to teach their daughters home-made entrepreneurial skills right from the tender years. They should not be given that orientation that their main role in the life of a man is just to consume what has been brought in without any form of contribution. The era of 'OBIAGELI' (coming to eat) is fast fading away; in fact, it is quickly losing its ground. This could catapault them to be more productive than the typical young Nigerian ladies that sit and hope for financial freedom as soon as they get married to a man. This makes marriage seem like an occupation rather than a legal union where the woman is expected to play the role of helper. I have said it severally that men respect women who go out to win the akara while they (the men) go out to win the bread. It is not good for a woman to just be the bread and akara eater altogether. The consequences of such situation mostly take the form of the children/family suffering when the man loses the capacity to 'win the bread' due to ill- health, turn of events, retrenchment, etc.

As a young lady, you should discover yourself and identify your vision/purpose occupational-wise before you delve into marriage, else you become a marital burden who cannot contribute meaningfully in building a family of your dream. Have you ever thought about what could happen if the man loses his livelihood? Can you carry on from where he stopped temporarily? Or will you allow your entire family to go out there to beg because you came into the picture with nothing and has refused to be productive?

The way the Nigerian economy stands today, it is even suppose to be a pre-condition that our young women are engaged in professions, trade, business or investments that make them financially independent before they think of marriage. This is not 1928!!! Things are changing...think about it!
Discover yourself first; don't expect a man to help you discover yourself and give you financial freedom! Marriage is not an escape route out of poverty! It is a legal union...play your role!

Financially dependent ladies who talk about marriage lack vision. This is my opinion.

Good morning everyone!

Na wa o! It seems we won't read any other news on fp apart from those related to these shady awards!

#IStandWithIbori

aademola11:
Ibori is in no way equal to Tinubu, He (Ibori) is for Niger Delta, while Tinubu is for Nigeria.

Shut up there! Tinubu for which Nigeria? That's how u guys exhibit cluelessness and ignorance on public forums!

There are so many hypocrites in here!

H

freeborn76:
This is not Jonathan's government, get a life

Jonathan's government was more transparent!!! Let that sink into you!

H is for Hunger!

When hunger show u weeeen, u go know say na too much groundnut oil make puff-puff shine pass buns

Take it for a start. Anyone on this platform who advises u not to take it, has surely been sent to destroy u!

haywire07:
This thief will come to naija and he will be ceremoniously welcomed by his fellow flat.heads.
Even policemen will be sent to accompany him from the port to the banquet .


Well , I trust baba buhari wey no dey fit forgive person ....
Tommorow headline go be: Efcc arrests Ibori for alleged stealing of meat from the pot back in 1975

One of the MOST SENSELESS post I've ever read on Nairaland!

If we check well, ur amala and ewedu governors have not done half of what Ibori did as governor of Delta State!

Good one!

How I wish my ancestors didn't run away when Africans were being carried to Europe and America by slave traders. By now, I would have been a Canadian or something!!!

What a useless information!

Lost nothing, gained nothing!

Sandydayziz:
Why? A girlfriend of mine had to break up with her bf over reasons I can't even explain! And all she does all day's listen to music and cry, I mean she broke up with him herself so it doesn't make sense at all... But what am more interested in is 'Why music'?

I mean after a breakup, all you wanna do is lie on your bed, listen to heart shattering music...
Is that the best way to grief?
Do you think it helps or it's silly? (Broken heart syndrome)

You want to be sad and wallow in self pity

I didn't go to high school, I went to school high!

We must flog Amaechi with koboko and water cane!!!

ichommy:
Long time Sir.

Long time, bro

Amaechi is lost!