₦airaland Forum

Hannibal: Hi

Funmi: ****weighs him from head to toe and hisses

Hannibal: Stammers, Why now? abi i carry shit for nyash? I dey smell?

Funmi: Boy, go home to your mama.

hannibal: Stop posing abeg, i get chics like you at home

Funmi: Do you even have a home?

Hannibal: No matter what you say, i think ehm ehmm, loss of words mixed with stuttering

Funmi: You may want to drink more Hennessey to improve on your guts

Hannibal: i agree sha, I'm not up to your level.
Funmi: Good boy, have a nice day and you may start from secondary school girls to improve your art.

Hannibal: Thank you ma.

Funmi: You are welcome.


Inside the molue:

Eldee: o boy , i told you that chic is not your class

hannibal: You can't blame a brother for trying.

Sly: That was a stupid trial. It's like me trying to get a shirt in Arsenal.

Hannibal: Shut up.

Eldee: Why not also try Beyonce?

hannibal: If i see her, i go try na.

Sly: Get a damn job first and elevate your status before anything.

Hannibal: Who wants to hire me na, with this Ambrose Alli degree?

Pick up lines Nairaland women

Girl: This is XYZ from nairaland
Me: hi
Girl: Buzz
Me: ?
Girl: ASL
Me: huh?
Girl: Please say something.

Me: *hit ignore button*

20 mins later

Girl: You're not nice.

20 mins later? You've been ignored after 1 minute so your 20th minute ignore is medicine after death.

Guy: Nice post, hi
My name is Sammired

i am Based in overseas

New york to be frank.

Me:Huh?
if u like be based in heaven!

then i press the ignore button

Roflmao and the change of name nko? You may be surprised that the so called sammired's real FIRST name is Onigbinde and he lives in Tsunami.

im sorry but this is just an advice, read people's comment and rather than attacking them ask if you r not really clear on what they mean, now to explain what i meant,i don't blame dangote because at the end of the day he can do what he likes with his money,but morally i blame him because he is not doing enough for his people and it is an indictment on him being on the forbes list as the third richest african and children in his own home state sniffing

He's not responsible for that abeg. Why not hold Adenuga or Obasanjo responsible for the high number of area boys in the west after they are rich and some of them are from their home state?

How do people pull this off? Fake physician performing surgery?

Sunday, July 13, 2008 Printer Friendly Version

Fake doctor who duped lady N.7m blames Alao-Akala for his dilemma

By AKIN OYEDELE


THIRTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD Kehinde Olugoke passes for a lady‘s man, as he is blessed with an imposing stature and good looks, complemented by his impeccable spoken English. At least 70 per cent of eligible ladies today would not mince words in listing these attributes as the must-possess for their dream husbands.


https://odili.net/news/source/2008/jul/13/punch/images/13.jpg

Kehinde Olugoke


For many years, the police said, Olugoke had enthralled many unsuspecting single ladies seeking the Golden Fleece with his dandy identity. He not only fleeced them of huge amounts of money, he goes ahead to sleep with them under the false promise of marrying them. He had all the while successfully concealed his status as a married man. With his cool mien, he looked every inch a responsible person; little wonder he was able to convince his victims that he was a doctor with the World Health Organisation, before the bubble finally burst last week. His type is what Yoruba call faworaja (impostor).

A 1995 physics graduate of the University of Ibadan, he claims he also attended St. Andrews College, Oyo, where he obtained the National Certificate of Education in Mathematics/Physics. But, he says he is into the business of supplying, but could not recall any of his clients.

”I do go down to anybody that gives me petty contract to do and I supply them and that is all. Many parastatals, private owners are my clients. When they ask me to supply I go to them. That is all,” he says.

On the insistence of SUNDAY PUNCH that he should mention the name of at least one client or company that he had supplied items in the last three months, he continues to rabble-rouse. ”I was asked to supply to one em em em em, what do they call this place? I have forgotten the name of that place. But they asked me to supply stationeries and that is all. I have supplied one ADP in the state and that is all,” says Olugoke.

From the account of his narrations, one could deduce that he veered into the world of fraud after he was laid off from work in 2006. According to him, his fate took a nosedive when the Governor of Oyo State, Chief Adebayo Alao-Akala, ordered the retrenchment of workers recruited by his former boss, Alhaji Rashidi Ladoja, during his 11-month illegal stint as the state helmsman.

The suspect claimed that he started his work career with the Oyo State ADP, where he spent six years before he was retrenched during the regime of one of the military administrators that ruled the state, whose name he cannot also recollect.

”On several occasions again, I took teaching appointments and I worked for almost four months before we were asked to go,” he says. ”The copies of the appointment letters are with me and we were not paid any kobo.

”We were just verbally dismissed by the present governor of the state without being paid a kobo, on two occasions. I worked at Iroko Grammar School, Iroko. I taught there because I read Physics/Mathematics. I was given appointment letters on two occasions, but the man (Alao-Akala) just asked us to go without giving us anything.”

Since he left the teaching service, he claimed that he had made ends meet by engaging in private tutorials and petty contracts.

He is convinced that his retrenchment in 2006, alongside others, had political undertones. For this reason, he says he had nursed the idea of taking his matter to THE PUNCH newspapers to bail them out, but could not find anybody to lead the way.

Olugoke denies the allegation by the police that he had duped many ladies in the guise of assisting them to seek greener pasture abroad, which never materialised.

The Commissioner of Police, Oyo State Command, Mr. Bashiru Azeez, said the fake ”WHO” official was arrested after several months of surveillance by men of the Apata Division.

Azeez said, ”Olugoke is a self-acclaimed WHO doctor, who had duped a lot of people, especially unsuspecting young single ladies.

”(The) Apata Police Division has received several reports of this culprit who had escaped with huge amounts of money from different single ladies with the pretext of using his international connection to get them lucrative jobs and getting married to them.

”The last straw that broke the camel‘s back was the case of a single business lady (Toyin Gbadegesin), who was trapped by his sweet words. With the suspect‘s proposal of marriage, she was convinced of all his promises, which resulted in her parting with a whopping amount of N700,000 within a period of six months and went away with her international passport.

”When it dawned on her that her proposed husband was a dupe, she reported the case to the police. Policemen were placed on surveillance duties in search of the fake WHO doctor who had been in the police wanted list. He was arrested by detectives when trying to flee the town.”

The suspect, who only came short of calling the police liars, claims that he never tricked anybody to part with their money or promise to assist them to travel abroad as alleged.

Not the least showing any sign of remorse, he says that his last victim was his estranged girlfriend, who decided to take a pound of flesh from him when she discovered that he was married.

Olugoke says, ”I‘m not assisting anybody to travel. That lady in question is my girlfriend. If they look at my statement, I did not write that I collected money from her for travelling.

”The money was between the two of us. I borrowed the money from her. At times, N10,000; N20,000. You know what transpires between a lady and a man. That was just it. I borrowed money from her, but not on the cause of travelling out.

”They should look at her statement and see what is there. The total amount I borrowed from her is not more than N260,000 and we even spent it together. You know as a man she will be in need of one thing and she will ask me for money and she will not know that it was from the money she gives to me that I‘m giving her.”

Indication that the tell-tale was stingy with the truth emerged when he could not advance any plausible reason why he was in possession of the international passport of his ‘girlfriend.‘

According to him, the lady just gave him the passport as a sign of commitment to their romp. But when asked how things went awry between them, he claims Toyin reported him to the police when she realised that he was a married man, who had no plan of settling down with her.

He prevaricates when asked whether or not he promised to marry the lady.

He says, ”What triggered the whole thing was when she eventually got to know that I was married and I was not prepared to marry her.

”That is why she came up with all sorts of lies. You know in a man and woman relationship, there is absolutely nothing you cannot say. You can go to any length to say…

”You know only God knows which one leads to a marriage. She came to my matrimonial home when she discovered that I was married and she reported to my wife before she came to the police station.

”If a woman has already had it in her mind to have you and cannot have you, they can go to any extent to say anything. If I have up to that N700,000 she claimed that I collected from her, will I not have started my own business and be doing fine?”

Olugoke insists that he did not promise anybody that he would facilitate their journey abroad. Except that the people that allegedly name him as fraudsters were equally into advance fee fraud, he said there was no way they could have fallen prey to him as alleged.

He asks, ”If those people alleging that I duped them were not into 419 too, how can you… did I open any office?

”So, I did not collect any money from anybody. This is just the only thing and it is between me and my girlfriend.”

A successful jeweller, Olugoke claims that he met Toyin on a sunny afternoon when she accosted him for a free ride while driving along the NNPC-Apata Road in the Oyo State capital.

One thing led to the other and they ended as lovers.

He however went numb when asked whether he owned a car and that ended the encounter.

No doubt, the police have a huge task in their hands to determine whether Toyin only weaved lies to punish his ‘fiancé‘ or whether Olugoke concocted half-truth to get out of the mess.



http://odili.net/news/source/2008/jul/13/405.html

Augustine 'Jay Jay' Okocha is the best to ever come out of Nigeria as a footballer. The problem he had was that he didn't take football seriously when he started. He was already grwoing old before we started seeing a serious JJ. He has the highest number of World Cup appearnce in Nigeria (possibly Africa), Olympic gold medal, ACN gold medal, ACN silver medal and 3 ACN bronce medals, 2 times BBC African footballer of the year and above all, unmatched skill on the pitch. I troway salute sir

I concur.

@topic

please whatever. have you not seen the line up for the US olympic team?? so no offense but Nigeria stands no chance.

Forget the NBA, they only have big mouth. That was what they did last olympics and Russia, Sweden etc beat them mercilessly. Why do we in America still buy the media hype that we are the best in everything? I bet you, Kobe and co are not coming home with the gold. I bet ya!!!

Why don't we have many world class referees from Nigeria? Even those from the Caribbean produce a world cup or Euro championship referee but not Nigeria or Cameroun. Why?


whither Nigeria?

Onigbinde’s verdict: There is no football club in Nigeria
Written by Bridget Amaraegbu
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Former Super Eagles coach, Chief Festus Adegboyega Onigbinde who turned 70 recently has taken a look at Nigerian football and declared that the game is not improving at all. According to him, what administrators do is promotion rather than development of the game.


He also spoke on the wrangling between the Nigeria Football Association (NFA) and the Nigeria Football League (NFL) in this interview with your soar-away Saturday Vanguard. Enjoy it:


What is your opinion on the disparity the NFA has created between foreign and indigenous coaches?

I believe we have been on this disparity for a very long time but now we are getting out of the problem.

As a person, I’ve never objected to bringing in foreign coaches from anywhere.


As an educationist, I welcome education from anywhere but my contentions have always been that firstly, I want to know the background of the person, secondly we must be very clear with his responsibilities so that there will not be any clash of interest of any sort and from what we have seen so far I hope we have learnt our lessons.


The strong reason for me to support bringing in a foreign coach to this country is the question of our mentality. I can recall when I came to handle the national team in 1983, I was there for one year without any equipment, no single set of jersey, not even the balls and I know that if I was a foreign coach it will be different. If I demand for ten balls, they would have sent somebody to get me hundreds from Germany.


So if that is the only way Nigerian football can get what it really deserves, then why not since that is the Nigerian mentality, but I must say that Nigerian coaches have proved themselves good if not better. Modesty will not allow me to continue to talk about my own personal experience but I believe what the Nigerian coaches need is the moral, administrative and psychological support from the administrators and all football loving fans in Nigeria.


I strongly believe that our last experience with the German Coach must have taught us enough lessons and since then, the Nigerian coach who took over is not doing badly at all.


He has played five matches, one friendly and four competitive games and it was only the friendly that he had a draw and won the other four competitive matches. With this I think that we have made a point.

Do you think our local coaches can deliver the Super Eagles?


Yes we have shown examples. I worked under a very difficult situation in 1983/85 and yet I came back with a silver from the African Cup of Nations in Cote d’Ivoire.


I took the team to Korea/Japan in 2002 and although we did not go beyond the first round but if our people can remember what the situation of the team was before I took over especially after Mali they would probably appreciate that we did a good job in Korea/Japan. Although we lost 0-1 to Argentina, 1-2 to Sweden, but in our last match we played a draw with England after preparing for barely two months without the much needed equipment.


When we came back, I taught people would have said if we were able to go this far with all those difficulties in a short period, let’s see what we can do to improve the situation but that won’t happen in Nigeria and that is what forces people to think that some people have something to share in employing foreign coaches.


I want you to understand that I’ve not said that all Nigerian coaches are good because we cannot say all Nigerian doctors and lawyers etc are good but that does not mean that we don’t have a few of them who can stand their ground anywhere in the world. What our local coaches need is adequate support.


On appointment of coaches for the Super Eagles, should they be interviewed by NFA board members?

The interview could be done by any board, the important thing is to know the set up of the panel doing it. What is the background of the members of the panel? What do they know about football, will they be able to explore the interviewed to find out the depth of their knowledge and experience.


For sometime now, we have relied on foreign based players for both our junior and senior national teams? What is your opinion on that?


It is not good for Nigerian football, of course this foreign based players are Nigerians and are qualified to play in the national team but I’ve always said that wearing a jersey in any of the national teams should be competitive and we have seen some of the problems of relying entirely on this foreign based players.


We are always running into trouble with them and that is a challenge. We are the people that developed these players before they went abroad, so why can’t we develop others who will take over from them at home.


This is why I keep talking about development programme for sports especially football in this country and that is why we are running into this problem but I believe we will get over it.

Should membership of the NFA Board be by appointment or election?


Truly by the standards of FIFA and even the NFA itself, it is not supposed to be by appointment, it is supposed to be by democratic election. Although this is a very wide area because it should be a democratic process and this democracy should start from club level. For me there is not a single football club in this country because nearly all the clubs we have in this country today have appointed board members.


A club is defined as a place where people of like interest come together, bind themselves together and elect their officers and so on. Since it is not done that way here I believe we don’t have a single club, what we have is government parastatals who call themselves clubs and that is why we are having problems.


Clubs are supposed to be run this way, we should have democratically elected board members of the club who will send their delegates to elect members of the local association, the local association will send their delegates in each state to elect the state officials and then representatives of each state will now go to the national level to elect the NFA Board members.


Right now I can say that we are still toying with football association. Although I have a lot of regard for the people who are there now but if we want to face the fact, then we ask questions like who elected them? Were the people who elected them qualified? Were these people elected? This is what FIFA saw and said we should look into the structure of our football administration. What I’m saying is the ideal thing that should be done and does not have anything to do with the present NFA Board members.


Who do you think should be saddled with the responsibility of appointing referees for league matches, is it the NFA or NFL?


FIFA recognises only one football body in a country and that is the NFA. The NFL we have now were in charge of premier, professional and amateur leagues which is not supposed to be so. We can have one thousand leagues in this country and all of them are supposed to have their own board but all these various leagues are under the NFA because none of them can communicate to FIFA as they are all babies of the NFA. Secondly the referees association is under the NFA.


It is the responsibility of the NFA to develop the referees by organizing courses for them and then the NFA can send a list of qualified referees to the various leagues. It will be the responsibility of the board of the leagues to assign these referees to their respective matches.


Can the present set up of Super Eagles we have pick the ticket for both the Nations/World Cups?

Yes, why not. Although I’ve never been satisfied with any level of achievement because I believe there’s always room for improvement and I know that at any given time Nigeria has never selected the best eleven because our mode of selection has been faulty. Why must we depend on foreign based players, does it mean we cannot have home-based players in this country, after all in Korea/Japan 2002, I started with home based players.


What do you think can be done to improve our local league so that our football fans can return to the stadium across the country?


Sports is both for recreation and entertainment and if the fans cannot get that entertainment in our local league, they will look for it elsewhere, so let’s find a way of developing our football. When people say our football has improved, I don’t buy the idea because I keep asking where are the likes of Odegbami, Mudashiru Lawal, Achebe, Ibiam etc. We are just promoting football and not developing it.


From your experience as a renowned coach, what do you think went wrong with Nigerian football?

Firstly, have we always made sure that people who run this game are people who understand how it should be run. Secondly we have always concentrated on competitions rather than developing the game. Competitions are supposed to be used to test the level of development but instead of developing, we are testing, I believe the people who are in charge now are trying their best and learning fast.


Looking at how well the Super Eagles are doing in their qualifying series, how far do you think they can go into the competition proper?


Honestly, with the talents we have in this country, Nigeria is capable of emerging the best in the world, I mean winning the World Cup, after all we have done it with the junior team. So the senior team is equally capable, depending on what is put into the team between now and them. I believe the NFA technical administration will understand what I’m saying.


Is the NFA right in giving a foreign coach a binding contract whereas that of an indigenous coach is merely promisory?


Anyway I cannot confirm whether any of the contact is binding or promisory but I believe that whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander.


Like in my case when I requested for balls and did not get it but if I am a foreigner I would have gotten hundreds of balls. Another part of it is when our people compare indigenous coaches to foreigners, I tell them its not fair to do that.


What our local coaches need most is our support and encouragement not condemnation. You cannot compare an indigenous coach who does not have enough equipment to work with to a foreign coach who has more than what he needs.


Do you think the NFA has really tapped from your technical experience to improve not just the game but also the administration of the game?


Recently there’s been some rapour between us but I don’t know if I have anything to offer. I’ve never objected to national service, so whenever I’m called upon I will answer although in the past there was some misunderstanding.


Looking back at Korea / Japan 2002, is there anything you didn’t do that you would like to do now if given the opportunity?


If I could bring up a team upto that level within three months, I don’t think I have any regrets at all. I am not the type of coach that will go to the players when a match is on to give signals, for me it is distraction.


I sit down and observe the weaknesses and strength of both teams in order to make corrections after the first half. Some coaches do it just to make people know they are coaching.


At 70 years, what do you owe Nigerian football?

I think I’ve always given my best and I don’t owe anything to our football rather if some people have prevented me from doing my best in the past then it is not my problem, the debt is on the other side. As long as I’m still strong and hearty, I will not reject any call to national service.

http://odili.net/news/source/2008/jul/12/314.html

Pot belly ke??

i will not tolerate it ooh, haba!

We will work out together!

Pot belly ko, eh it must never hapun!

That means you wouldn't have married OYB or Pataki?

hmmm well do you think it came all from your heart to say that?

It really do but am yet to be convinced beyond reasonable doubt.

I raised a thread then on if truly Jesus died for our sins and Alhamdulillah, a brother reverted to Islam and it is not too late for you to accept the religion of Abraham, Isaac, Moses, all the prophets down to Jesus. Below was his response:

How can Abraham, Isaac and moses be moslems when christianity predates islam? Abram, isaac and moses were not even christians. Christianity simply means follower of Christ. That christian brother that wrote that piece is either a non christian claiming to be one on the net or a dormant christian in a blind church. No pastor well rooted in the word of God will tell you that.

LOL.

Pick up line,

"You look like an actress"

"eh"

"But you are the angel version"

"ehh?Huh??"

Have you noticed that all these men here dispute the fact that they used or still use these lines but will never tell us the lines they use to get a woman down with them. I ask one more time:
[size=14pt]
Guys, tell us your lines and how it works for you so we ladies can say whether it'll work in our own case or not. Any bold man with balls here?[/size]

I trust you would know. These are the kind of black men you date, MAN.

I think it's time y'all write a book on the types of men i date. Let me write the prologue:

Quintessential hot alluring and sensual Funmilayo has a thing for big fat obnoxious bisexual ghetto poor and dwarfy men. What a contrast??

You may start with chapter one and let Eldee and Hannibal write other chapters. Sly can do the epilogue while Negro makes sure it becomes a best seller. I'll upload my picture later to make it look more glossy, sexy and tantalizing.

oooh the title? what will it be? Funmi phenomenon? Funmi factor? The inconvinient sex appeal?

Onyinye na wa o. With this temper of yours we should change your name to Sheniqua.

Roflmao; Girl get him!!!

Black man wey dey blush

i never see oh

DL brothers blush steady.

I was so annoyed, if not because she was gyal, i would have flipping knocked her out with that comment!!!

Phew, as if you've been wimp man enough to knock fellow men out for vexing you.

@Redhotchic
What's up shawty?

You won't know what hit you from behind, i promise you.

Why does most men had pot bellies after some years of marriage? Cause I wonder may be it is the food their wives cook, or rest of mind, or alcohols intake, or sex, or naturally ordained by God.

Because they think their wives has no other option than stay home and manage their pregnant husbands. I think it's time we demand men in the same shape we married them or we leave. Men has been doing it all these while, let the women start it too.

Its their choice. If we women want to be equal, we need to do things that man do also.

That is not equality, it's stupidity.

My dogs feel pain, abeg they need Human rights ooh!
afterall they are mammals like us

take your damn dog to calabar or ondo dog shelter for further help. Don't be annoyed if they euthenize it without informing you.

i know, i wasnt trivialising the whole issue,it was just a tongue in cheek comment,what can we do really apart from trying in our own little way to right a bit of societal ills and injustice on children when kano indigenes like dangote who s a forbes billionaire not following in the footsteps of his fellow billionaires abroad like bill gates,warren buffet and co to stand for something honourable apart from just amassing wealth,i don't have 3.smth billion kobo so all i can do is my little bit Smiley
the tobacco companies are taking advantage of a corrupt and inept government to ruin children's health which i think is worse of than sniffing gutter sm

Are you saying that Dangote should be responsible for these youths sniffing gutter? Why not also hold Bill Gates responsible for all the Seattle crack heads? Leave the man alone jare.

considering the vast majority of black women have a weave it wasnt exactly as annoying as being the truth. Smiley
If it annoys you that someone asks whether you have on a weave then why wear one in the first place?

Won't you find it annoying if some girl ask you if you are a playa or gay given that most black men are into either one of them these days?

She was probably giving out Church pamphlets on the forthcoming crusade

Isn't that commendable?

But you said she knew about his exploits on the red light districts na?
How did she know?

Take Hannibal's picture around Peckham and see what street urchins will tell you.

Yes,
funny thing is, some don't even know how rude it is, until you walk away
But I take it as a compliment cause I wasn't wearing weave.

One said to me last time i went home: This one you are all blonde!!! and i was like, dude, try and check the meaning of blonde before you use that stupid line abeg.

What was Syren doing on the RED LIGHT DISTRICT

Girl is too cute and sophisticated to be seen around there, mr prostitute philanthropist.

one I thought was actually funny:
*I'm liking your weave or is that your hair?

Very annoying and disrespectful I must say.

Who is Syren and what does she know about me??

You always hang around her street hollering at passerbys to get some change or lift, Hobo!!!!

I fight for women's rights but not like this abeg. women dont deserve to die for any reason.

Not really

Don't mind that cunning old geezer, I know why he said that.


Johnny McCain Of yorubaland.