₦airaland Forum

What is the title of the film again, pls

Prowizy2: Will this news change my jamb score?

No, it won't. And it wasn't the reason you did not score high,either.

This morning, Hon Patrick Obayaibgon drove into a petrol station in his sleek, state of the art range rover sports:
Patrick: Guy, abeg give me full tank (in benin language)
Attendant: I only speak English, sir.
Patrick:Ok brother, good morning, i currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of ♍y̲̣̣̣̥ motorized automoblie. Therefore i cordially request You to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.
Attendant: bros, na play i d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ play o,♍y̲̣̣̣̥ name na Omoh, You fit talk A♏ for benin.


Yanga d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ sleep, monkey go wake A♏.

An Igbo lady sat together with 2 guys @ the bar in lagos waiting to be served. The barman man came over to take their orders:
The British guy said Johnny Walker, single.
The American guy said Jack Daniels, single.
The barman finally turned to the igbo lady and asked....and you madam? She replied Ngozi Okafor, married.

Initially yes. After a while the body changes to present state. I know of women who took close to 10days before breastmilk started flowing. She should talk to the nurses to find out if the breastmilk is healthy. Then she should always make sure she puts the Baby's mouth on her nipples from time to time, it helps to stimulate the breast. It has worked for alot.

I had to split into 2 parts cos i dont like lengthy comments, though

16. Psychologists in America found that even newborn babies have an elementary grasp of maths and physics. They can tell the difference between one, two, three and more objects, and can also add up and take away. He may not have an abstract concept of numbers, but your baby knows how many apples should remain if, for example, one is taken away, and he will express surprise if it is wrong.
17. At birth, babies have no kneecaps, kneecaps do not develop completely till after 6mths.
18. A baby is born in the world every 3 seconds.
19. Human babies are the only primates who smile at their parents.
20. The inner ear is the only sense organ that is fully developed before birth. It reaches its adult size by the middle of pregnancy.
21. A baby has around 10,000 taste buds, far more than adults. Eventually these extra taste buds disappears.
22. Adults have 206 bones. Babies are born with 300 bones. Their bones fuse as they grow.
23. A newborn urinates about every 20 minutes and then roughly every hour at 6 mths.
24. A baby cannot taste salt until it is 4mths old.
25. A baby’s eyes are 75% of their adult size.
26. Children don’t remember much before the age of 3.
27. The gasp of a newborn baby is so strong that its whole body can hang midair, with its bent finger supporting its weight.
28. Babies are born with very sophisticated hearing and can work out where a sound is coming from just 10 minutes after being born
29. Four or five out of every 100 newborn babies, there is a discharge of milk from its nipple. This is due to unusually high level of the mothers hormones that leak across the placenta during pregnancy.
30. Touch is one of your baby’s most advanced senses at birth and even premature babies born as early as 25 weeks are aware of being touched. Your baby’s sense of touch develops from head to toe, so her mouth is the first region to become sensitive, which is why young babies put everything in their mouths.

From the very moment your baby arrives, she is capable of so much, we never know about. Here are a few.
1. A baby can recognize the smell and voice of its mother at birth.
2. A babies 1st social smile appears between 4 and 6 wks after birth.
3. Most newborns will lose all the hair they are born with in the 1st three or four months of life.
4. Babies are sensitive to temperature, When they are cool, they move around more and when warm they will lie as if sunbathing, with arms and legs flung out to the side. You can use these signs to work out if your baby is too hot or too cold.
5. Babies are born with natural swimming abilities and can hold their breath. This ability quickly disappears.
6. The brain of a newborn accounts for 10% of its total body weight.
7. Babies sense of smell is much stronger than adults and they use it to get to know you in the early weeks.
8. Babies all over the world have been adorned with necklaces, anklets and amulets to ward off the evil eye. Some ornamental infant wear include odd number,(which were thought to have protective powers)……(Well, I have my reservations about this.
9. Baby boys are slightly heavier than baby girls.
10. Your baby can monitor your tone of voice and will react to it. For example, if you smile at him while talking in a frightened voice, or did the reverse ‘ spoke in a happy voice while looking scared, you would probably find that he becomes agitated
11. Babies typically prefer a female voice over a male voice, which explain why people raise the pitch of their voice when talking to babies, otherwise known as motheres.
12. Newborns are more likely to turn their head to the right than to the left.
13. Babies are not born with psychic tearing, or tears that indicates emotional distress, though they are born with basal tearing (enough to keep the eyes moist and healthy) and reflex tearing. Between 2 and 4 mths of age, a baby will start crying with tears when it gets upset.
14. Eyesight is the least developed of all the newborn senses.
15. Up till 7mths, a baby can breathe and swallow at the same time.

baby_mama: So a day care/ crèche is called a school in Nigeria?

Yes boss, they are mostly in school environments.

For those who have assisted lovemychild financially, may God lift you higher, IJN. Permit me to call you her family. Thank you all. Please lovemychild,be wise in your spendings with the cash given to you. Wish you a safe delivery and a lovely mother/child bounding that money can never buy. I can see you smiling on delivery day and saying no to adoption or custody. Rather saying thank God you are here nw.

Hello lovemychild, can you see the blessings and connections your unborn child has brought you so far, even before he sees your face. Aren't you a lucky mum. Believe me, when you see that bundle of joy that has been kicking your tommy for the past months, you will smile and cry tears of joy. And the tot of adoption or custody will disappear. That is when motherhood comes in,after the pains of labour you will not let that child out of your sight, not even for poverty.

alutacontinua: Really, so, she started schooling at 4 months?
Waoh!


_{Gosh, what's with this boring rules on the posting page...mtttchhhew}

Sweetheart, if you are a working mum or wife, then you shud know that Maternity leave in Nigeria is 3mths unless you are given special considerations. So that was my case, after 3mths i had to resume wrk and there was no provision for creche @ my place of work.
Check out some creche around you, and you would be amazed to see 2-3mth old babies there.

I cannot help but wonder how our kids can influence parents. When we got Married and before we started having kids, our favorite channel then was 124 E!, we never watched cartoons. But now that my girl is 2+, we watch nothing but channel 305 Nick Jnr. Or other cartoons channels. And the funny thing is even when she is not around we are glued to nick jnr. My hubby ll stay late most nights watching cartoon for no just reason. The question is, is this applicable in most homes, do you watch more of your kids channel? even when they are not around,when there is something else to watch?

alutacontinua: @bolded, is that a typographical error?

No is not dear. Thanks.

saemmanuel: clicl on the link to read my initial post abt HER

If you read the comments on your initial post, i don't think you would have opened a fresh thread. You said you are in uni and your 3yr @ 19 in Nigeria! Is that a private uni and by the what year did you finish your SSCE?
To be honest, please face your studies,you will have all the time in the world for that special lady who will not cause you pain.

A 36week fetus is mature enough to be born or did the doctors say he is a preterm?
As for you and your neighbour's baby who came 1st? Who did is senior,either @ 24wks or 42wks. The 1st to see the world is older. Thanks.

Nice write up. Like seriously, why do people change after marriage?is it natural? Just curious.

The best way to over react is to end the relationship. The reasons are in your story.

Joblessness is the state of your mind engage yourself in something meaningful. Nobody will help you unless you help yourself. No food fone lazy man. Hit the street. God bless you.

There is no need to be worried so long as he responses at all. I once had a neighbour whose four + daughter could not talk but today she is good. Always speak to him. Part of the reason is that he is not mixing up with other kids or people let him be free in the mist of others with close observation. And most of all let him start school it will help alot,my daughter started sch at 4mths before she was 1yr seven mths she could make a sentence.
Let him start sch, then he ll mix up with other kids of his age and be motivated to do or say what they do. Do pray about it too.

1st of all, did you apply for the job? If no, is scam, pay no attention to it.
2) Any job that you are meant to pay for before you get it, i personally see it as fraud.
My advice,let the scam go,is not real. Ask around,pple who pay to get jobs they have not seen end up losing their cash. Let it go,is mouth watering but fake. All the best.

Like you said this is the 21st century and in a world of cyber tech, such this are no longer in the market. If am not mistaken, ojuju calabar and willie Willie, we watched in movies,these days there are more advancements in tech we need our kids to learn and not those kapoish slang.

Seriously,this new trend in nairaland is making some baby nairalanders think upside down. In real life, that is while sm pple steal,because i want to be like ......... @ OP pls get a life and just be YOU.

Where did you go, when the lady in that picture said that she is not genny's daughter. Pls always confirm news before you spread it abeg.

Maybe you would have said PICTURE OF A NAIRALANDER WHITE SHIRT. cos i bearly see human pic there. And by the way, you look that pic before you chose to put it to d public soo.

To be honest, where you are aiming at in the relationship is not his direction at all. Coming over to see your mum is a commitment he is not ready for right now. If you think time is not on your side please move on, cos i don't see him settling down anytime soon.

The difference is that one of the requirement is with 5 passes in o level that is WAEC or SSCE including maths,eng and three other subjects, plus a 3yr working experience while the is just d HND n 3yrs working experience. Hope it helps.

I no say I no too fine, but I get mouth die! They call me DJ Finger... Feel free to yab me.


Your mouth na really surplus value.. My advice : reduce d mouth abi na lips.

Whenever pple drink bitter leaf water mixed with dry gin, that is what d result always turns out.

rareman: @remecy, at the end of the message it gors like this "*262*2# to turn off this service, well what that means to me is to stop sending you the alert but they will be de ducting from you secretly which is worst

no it means to Deducting ur credit. You try it out 1st. It worked for me.

I use to have same experience,but on the msg it also tells you that you can unsubscribe from the plan which i did, there was a code to send sms to. Read thru the msg,at d end of it,it gives you room to blackou,if you want to.

I think there is a reason why Mr. Seun and team don't want the site here.sorry all for this thread.