₦airaland Forum

Fiscus105:
I have married for years.


I repeat, majority (not all) of single mothers caused it upon themselves, and its mainly because of pure outward assessment of a guy (hypergamy) when choosing partner.


I want to ask you a question and I want you to answer it sincerely, "in ur mind o"

If you are into serious relationship with a guy who is a teacher in public school and of a sudden, another guys just arrived and he is a medical doctor in teaching hospital.

Won't you forget Mr teacher?


How many girls will still stick to Mr teacher in this situation?

I am also married.

Now let me shock you, I dated a senator's son once. Why did I break up with the clown? Dude could never apologize to save his life. Rather than apologize, he'd ask "where do you want to go to, let me spoil you".

I saw right through it and ran away for my life.

Another one, rich but would insult my life and family during any disagreement, that was the point I decided it was better to marry an average guy than a rich dude.

Only hungry and lazy women are impressed by money.

If money was always the case, what happened to the rich women who are also being abused?

Or the abuse that goes on in the ghettos?

Fiscus105:
.


Though, I hardly pity many of you ladies that latter become, single mothers o, majority of you(ladies) usually run after outward rather than good characters when u re about to choose life partners.

The way some of you just conclude that single mothers chose wrong is shocking.

You think you can know someone 100%? You've not heard of how people pretend till you marry them and see that they are monsters?

There's nothing wrong with being a single mother. For every single mother, there's a man like you who led to her being single.

Let's be kind, no one knows tomorrow. Even your daughter fit be single mother tomorrow.

If you never marry, just pray make you know marry person wey go deceive you with "good character",cause many will put up a good front till you marry them and see that they are monsters. Na when you enter your eye go clear.

LLSAINT:
Sweet right up.
You come go spoil am with ogun.
Wetin concern ogun with this matter?
ogun softly dey e own, you dey disturb am ?

I just wan make e talk true na.

pleasureosondu:
At the bolded statement .

As a Christian, the legal basis for seperation or divorce is adultery. And the fact that she doesn't want to change is worrisome. This is the only basis I support separation. But I hold your kids understands this and you're doing your best to be a firm dad to them, especially your daughter(s)? They are innocent and will be scared for life, man. Talking from experience.

I've seen kids resent their mother for staying with their abusive father.

Domestic violence in the civil sense is grounds for separation. Marriage is for the living, not for the dead.

If your kids are seeing what's going on, trust me, they will understand why it's best that you both separate.

pleasureosondu:
I'll address the bolded statement in a civil manner.

Your statements reveals that you must've experienced seperation either as a first (parent) or second (kid)subject. The point of this thread is the effects of separation on kids and the society at large.

You see, I really didn't want to talk about why separation occurs but I'm an optimistic person, so I'd say there's no toxic marriage that can't be detoxified if the both of you are willing to let go of selfish interest. Your last paragraph shows selfish interest and honestly, if you still remarry, separation won't depart cos you don't have what it takes (qualities) to hold it. You think separation doesn't have it's problems? You must be a lady

You think if both party are willing to make it work, that people will just up and leave their marriage?

I am not a product of a separated home. My mum's parents are still alive and very much married.

My dad was the only child of his parents before they both died.

So if one party is not willing to make the marriage work, the other person should die in the marriage.

I get your optimism, I am strongly against divorce, you can go through my posts to see that.

But I'm also realistic enough to know these things are inevitable in case of domestic abuse, gross irresponsibility and infidelity.

Let's be saying the truth. Will you stay married to a wife who cheats blatantly and refuses to change?

Talk true before Ogun go kill you.

pleasureosondu:
there's nothing like bad marriage. You've not done the right things for the right reasons, that's why you ain't getting the right results. If you're a lady, you must learn the do's and don'ts of your husband and vice versa. And there must be a courteous intent to sick to them. Selfish interest must be relegated, especially for the ladies. No lady from a separated home can understand these points cos they think seperation is the easy way out of toxic marriage which in most cases, they're the guilty party.

Like I said, it's easy to judge from the outside till it hits close to home.

pleasureosondu:
To be honest, staying isn't nice but believe me, separation is worse especially for the kids. The disaster isn't printable from their perspective.

And seperation solves one challenge but opens up many more, both for the couples and their kids. Abeg, parents must find a way to deoxidize their problems. Seperation only escalates the issues.

Separation is not worse. Separation is better than staying and ruining not just the lives of the parents but that of the kids.

It takes courage to separate from a bad marriage.

Until you've been there or experienced it with people you care about, it's easy to judge from the outside.

Naira20:
It's not me.
It's what marriage should be.

Anything can be abusive to people nowadays.

You chose the lady or man out of many other people. Why marry him/her when you are not ready to make things work?

It's better to stay single and intolerable than bring kids who won't enjoy the love of both parents.

What has caused separation in some marriages were successfully managed by others.

People like you are the reason women like Osinachi die in abusive marriages.

That woman stayed and also damaged her kids in the process. Her husband made her children also beat her. You think those children will still be normal?

It will take the grace of God for her son's to not be wife beaters.

It's easy to spew things like this when you've never experienced the situation or had people who have.

It's best to choose life and peace of mind over what people like you will say or think about them or their children.

pleasureosondu:
I'm not a victim?? You really don't have an idea of what kids(adults) from separated homes go through. Parents don't understand the mental effects of their separation on their kids. With my experience, it's a huge risk marrying a lady from a Separated Home

But would you have preferred they stay together even though it's toxic for all of you?

pleasureosondu:
None of the situations are good.

One is better.

It's easy to just judge cause you've never been a victim. I use to be like some of you here.

Till I heard what many people went through before they chose to leave.

So a man should stay with an adulterous woman so that a man like you can marry his daughter, abi?

Or a woman should die in an abusive marriage so that a man like you will not judge her before marrying her daughter?

E go reach everybody.

Naira20:
If you have the choice, don't even consider it.

Even the ungodly ones knew the consequences and that informed why they ensured their marriages worked.

We know separation maybe unavailable but there's usually a case of "a father eating the sour grape and the teeth of the children set on edge"

By the way, single parenthood caused by separation is unhealthy

So people should stay with abusive partners cause it's "healthier" to you.

Better to marry someone who was raised in a healthy environment by a single parent than to marry someone who was raised in a toxic and abusive two parent household.

Ugo. C. Shege.

Just do your research well on the parent that raised her and the circumstances behind her parents separation.

MODIFIED

For those of you (men) quoting me without any iota of decorum, just answer this questions.

If you catch your wife in the act of adultery, will you stay and remain married to her 'for the sake of the children "?

If you leave the marriage, who will marry your daughter seeing that she was raised in a single parent household?

Before you talk nonsense, reason my questions.


Thank you.

Ololademrmoney2:
I wish him the quickest recovery. But did the blindness in one eye later go? Just curious to find out.

The tumour is what caused the blindness. Once it's taken out, the eye sight will be restored.

omaira:
God no go answer ur prayer

God wey say "love your neighborhood as yourself" know wetin e mean.

And na as God take talk na so I wish OP.

Parizz:
did you have sex while your parents were absent at home?

And one didn't disappoint me.

Op must be from Vawulence HQ.

Smh.

These are the same children that come here to give marital advice to married folks.

SunMusk:
Too much Nigeria Movie d ur head... The gay in Nigeria is for money. No man will taste a woman vagina and be shouting he wants to Bleep ass. Which gay men?? Hw many re thy??

Be deceiving yourself till it hits you close to home.

People really do not need to lie about their age.

23?

Haba!

Charx122:
And do you think you would both have peace?

It's better to be hit with the truth than to be kissed with a lie.

There's a menace of gay men deceiving women into marriage these days due to the stigma placed on homosexuals in Nigeria.

However, until the spouse catches the person in the act and confesses it or someone else with evidence accuses the person, it's dangerous to just go about damaging people's names with unfounded accusations.

Polygamy is when a man marries more than one wife. Islam allows polygamy but in their case, the man cannot have a court wedding, if he does, only one wife will be civilly recognized.

On the context of a traditional African man, he can marry more than one wife if he married all of them traditionally. If he marries one in a court or church, the legally wedded wife is the only one recognized.

Now bigamy is when a man who is still married to a legally married wife goes on to marry another wife or other wives without divorcing the legally married wife.

I pray your partner cheats and doesn't tell you too.

Wickedfact:
Check the responses of men on the thread and see how you just advertised your stupidity.

Nope. I'm speaking based on previous posts on this forum.

Looks like you're the new kid on the block here.

Watch how they will say it is disrespectful for a wife to send her husband on an errand.

See how they are planning to disenfranchise people.

Schrodinger2:
Don't get me wrong...

I don't dislike you, you seem educated, well mannered and exposed but your penchant support for a mediocre IPOB candidate in Obi with no iota of credible political antecedent is what beats every logic other than tribalism/religion.

I am Yoruba. Not everything is about tribe sir. I don't know who you support and I don't care. I am only bothered about how my candidate will win.

How that makes me tribalistic or a religious bigot is what I don't understand and won't even care to.

I still wish for the block option so you'd be the first to use it.

Toh. We done deaf be that o.

FiremanX:
How's that your business? go and face your local boyfriend/husband

At least, e dey give me leave of mind.

How your own?

Horokrox:
Lol From someone with a moniker derived from a fictional female Marvel comic character

It's why this is an even match.

Horokrox:
I've already preyed upon your crunchy and tasty Black Widow sisters and mom like a Hawk Wasp

In your deluded comic book mind.

Horokrox:
The "plastic" white women are still better than toxic venomous black women like you just like your Black Widow arachnid cousins

And your mum and sisters as well.