₦airaland Forum

GboyegaD:
Oga, in it all please make sure you have enough savings for the rainy days ooo. This kind woman fit ask you say upon all the money wey you dey earn, how come you no get savings.
Have you also thought about bulk buying? That might help reduce the cost both of food stuff and time. In it all, handle it well and be firm if need be without being blackmailed. You have every right to ask for accountability and if anyone resorts to name calling, do not let it bother you.
Lastly, try to help the children understand the current day Nigeria reality. Let them understand that they are privileged and not look down on others who they may think are not in same class as them. Make them realize the need to be humble and accessible and make them a bit street smart.

That's the essence of the bulk money

Bluffly:
You caused it. Is she not working or you refused her from working. You misinterpreted love

Not 9-5, she does business.

abdsamad:
I won't say much.

If truly you gave her a car and you're legging it, you know how things work.

Don't let someone turn you into a mad man. If she dey absent for 2 months, you no go run the house?

Wait till the month ends, go with her to buy all the items. Now you know how much. Monitor when the items are exhausted, now you know how often to replace each item.

Wait till the car is empty, go and fill the tank... Now you know how much it costs. When it's low, note how long. Now you know how long it takes to empty the tank.

Why are you filling the tank for her if she's driving the car and she has a business? I don't know. If someone wants to drive a car, they have to learn how to be responsible for it.

Nobody prays for bad things to happen, but if you fall sick and you're in the hospital for months, will you also have to worry that your wife cannot reasonably run the home.

She's a fully grown adult so she must start acting like it. Have a budget. If she doesn't contribute to making it, make it yourself.

I think i already said too much

If I said I fuel the car from another source other than the 700k, then it's a slip. She buys petrol, including for generator. I only support in this once in a while.

Henry1989:
I don't understand the way you guys are going ooo.
So what about those of us that do not earn up to half of 700k in a month?
What should we do oo?
What should be our lot now oo?
Chaaaaaaiiiii.
This life no balance sha.

You know quite alright, as well as I do, that if my net salary per month is 300k, there is no way I will live in a house worth more that 600k pa. We go still figure something. Perhaps my kids won't look as appealing and fresh as they do now. Everything get level and stage. Someday you will earn way more than 700k per month and your lifestyle would change accordingly. By then you won't make this kind of comment anymore, and perhaps you will admonish people in that status.

Warrengwoji:
My brother,no mind all dis big eyes girls ooo.700k is over to much for a woman that wants to build a home.she will still have some savings from it self.
If she buys one bag of rice per month = 80k
2. Four painter of beans = 32k
3.5liters of G oil= 15k
4.5liters of palm oil= 15k
5. 6 tubers of yam = 24k
6. 3 bounch plantain = 30k
7. 2 big custard =10k
8. 3 big tin milk 60k
9. 2 big milo= 50k
10 . Sugar 2k
11. Spices = 10k
12. Indomie 3 cartons= 60k
13 . Fueling of car 200k

As you can see,this breakdown is just been extra vagant oooo.

Na 588k be dat already bro. I did not see soup items, Fish/meat (we buy whole chickens, quater goat, scumbia fish(s) and dry catfish).
You did not also include toiletries, etc

Dennisochampa:
Broz u well so??

U sure say your wife no dey use your money build house for one side??

U also sure say she no get who she dey invest in??

When I was in 9ja...i earned 202k per month and I have 2 kids and we were all very happy...my family never lacked anything talkless of woman when them deh give 700k per month....
Make I believe say you dey lie or dey falsify the figure Sha... Maybe na 70k u be Wan talk.....

When did you leave naija? If you have any friend whose kids attend Bluebells, then ask them how much they spend on rent, then upkeep monthly.

ShogunNoName:
I get you but respect is reciprocated isn't it ? Did you see her comment to me ?

It's ok, you don't roll in the mud with a mad man because you want to reciprocate a gesture

fineboynl:
sure. But na suffer head be that na. Just to cook yam and beans for family of 6 is more than 9k. So reason am.
People are suffering now.

I want to be spending as little as possible bro, I no be Dangote.

franchasng:
Perfect plan

My kids' future are secured already bro.

perryy:
Name the company that pays you over a million naira in portharcourt .

Hahahahaha. Rest bro. This your request is laughable. Even ordinary banks, some of them dey pay 4th level officers a little over 1m to take home every month. If you no dey smoke weed, then you may never know any seller around your area. Na adage be dat.

perryy:
I swear , she dey use your money knack small small boys. That woman doesn't need more than 150k per month stop being a fool

Come on bro. She is not like that. Besides, how much is a bag of rice? One paint of garri na how much. I dey see some reason but I know I just need to contain some things. For my house, 150k no go do sha.

Orlu13:
u need to be jailed fr posting this nonsense

Jailed for sharing a life experience? Na you suppose dey jail for this response wey you carry come the thread uninvited.

Tealcrestmedia:
In PH that life is highly adaptable is where you're getting financially strained like this. Smh if you're living in GRA, odili road, NAF estate, stadium road, etc there's always an adjoining community where you can find very affordable amenities and even good schools. If you must live like this, consider what might happen if life happens to you.

This your scenario is no different from the oil and gas workers, around 2008 ish or so, living so large until when the oil crash happened and a lot of them were laid off. They couldn't sustain their 2million naira duplexes as at then. Be wise chief.

I dey in the process of securing the future bro. I am a frugal person and trying to make it go round in my house.

perryy:
U be mumu man. How much do u give your mum ? She dey use your money carry small boys.

Lol, my mum is super comfortable bro.

duncan511:
No amount of money you give to woman this period is enough due to cost of things. But the issues is you, you should be reducing some expenses. Management is the key this period, discuss with her that you can't afford such amount this period that you are reducing the money and also drop some expenses like putting on gen every time, go for water dispenser or satchet water, reduce some cost of living, then be giving her money weekly, mentioned your budget don't pass 500,000 a month then save 200,000, divide the 500,000 into 4 weeks then been sending to her weekly. If she is not comfortable with it then let her add the rest, because if your sources of income is gone, you might likely suffer, if you don't plan it well now. As a father or mother you will decide what your children will eat, if you set a standard that you can not afford with time when you don't have your family will look some where to get it, that will make you a failure as father before your children. Mother knows how to control emotions of children, forgetting all the good things you have been doing since. So seat your wife down and discuss with her, she will adjust, because if you give her 1million naira, it would not still be a enough.

I had suggested this but she objected.

franchasng:
700k is enough.

She is either spending it on helping her struggling relatives or her business is not profitable and eating the monthly upkeep.


Does it include clothing of the kids and herself; if it does, then that could be the problem.

Yes, the last time I offered to reimburse her for the kids' clothes she bluntly refused.

Goldplucker:
Mak I help you analyze how to spend 300K monthly (Standard)

Rice - 1 bag- 80K
Supplement-100K incl. milk and water and children’s snacks
Other food stuffs -70K
Fuel- 50K
Total -300K


If she use 70+ liters of fuel before month end mak she use her business money run am

Simple.

You’re a man with 4Kids and you this wasteful!

Don’t pray to see SHEGE‼️

Can you break down that 70k further?

smasher1:
Bros, ensure you build your house and move out of that expensive house/neighborhood ASAP.

In progress

kpompey:
I am sure your wife is not collecting 50k per month.700k na dangote daughter? Mind you in a rented apartment and just a car. Oga na lie.

I have official car, no be my property be dat.

tosinhtml:
I really don't know for the dude & his wife but child care costs in Nigeria is almost next to nothing, I cannot be gaslighted when I know I can easily pay 300k or less each month for a walk-in child care service.

Please explain further

Twenty8:
Big bros I no say make u no give ur wife 700million naira/month o, but abeg do DNA test for your children before things go too far sha.

No go there bro

ShogunNoName:
Well done ma , are you done ?
Frustrated old layer

Please respect people, it doesn't cost extra.

fineboynl:
Guy nor too reason am. Just enter spar do small shopping you go see say money done cross 100k.

Things too cost right now oh. 1m nor be Money again. People earning in dollars na them the country easy for right now.

Guy, but people dey here wey dey survive on 500k as whole net salary.

Lanruze:
Forums like Nairaland may serve as a good feedback measure to filter varying opinions and suggestions and as an adult you can pick the best that suits your current situation.

N700k in a year is N8.4m per annum. i.e N700k x 12 Months. Majority of the hardworking Civil servants, Bankers, IT professionals, Engineers, Doctors , Lawyers and even Soldiers don't earn such an amount after a year.

And you have magnanimously chosen to use it for upkeep of a young family where your first child is just 10yrs.

The future is even more expensive as quality University & Secondary schools are super expensive.

1, The amount is too much for a family of 4 (Four) haba ! Irrespective of the economic indicies it's a big deal. Why not open a dedicated trust and targeted savings/ investment plan for each of the 4 kids for educational or future purpose.

2, Pretend that you lost your job after applying for leave in your office and you don't go out for 20 days to see your spouse reaction and behaviour.

3, As a Man and head of the family, you need to be assertive and take charge. Reduce the expenses ASAP for the future of your children. Even God doesn't support wasteful spending.

Goodluck and be wise ! Women are attracted to assertive men with direction.

Thanks. No 1 is handled already.
My wife is very supportive of my decisions as per my carear, but that no.2 i have only thought of as a prank.
För no.3, na my assertiveness dey cause quarell many times, I need advice on exactly how to do it without causing so much friktion.

Blitzking:
4 kids in pH.. 700k monthly is not too small..give her ast u fill reasonable and tell her you av done your bit

Once you have sorted
Accommodation
School fees
Feeding(try buying those core food items yourself...bag of rice half bag of garri..quarter bag of beans 20 tubers of yam, 3 to 5 carton of spag, 3 to 4 carton of noodles ,milk...milo...sugar...Nutella, 20 litres of palm oil...20 litres of groundnut oil 3 crates of egg...tell her how much she needs for meat,fish,pomo,seafood that will last for the month stock up the freezer..and give her 50k to 100k for veggies another thing let her tell you..for her clothes..shoes.. hair look for something reasonable to give her based on your pocket and remember children's school material..you will save cost most of the things u will buy can't finish everyone you can then begin to replace as necessary...

In other words, I should be doing the shopping myself? Hmn, you wan shake table o. Na her ministry be that. Yes, for bulk purchase i can do (I do so once in a while like bag of rice), but I no know some things wey i go buy and she go say dem no good.

smasher1:
First of All, reduce your expenses. 250k a month on house rent is too much. Look for a cheaper place. You may need to leave band A area to a cheaper area. The amount you are giving your wife monthly is not much, but it's best to monitor it by giving her in piecemeal daily and not monthly, you may see that she spends more than that amount. I do spend more than that. Live simple. Not easy, but possible.

Lots of things to consider. Band A reduces fuel consumption.
Do you mean you spend more than 700k per month?

Bakrabas:
I became suspicious and the op point needs to be xtrayed.

When you said that you've a car but yet it belong to your family but you the owner leg your ways around with your Footwagen or Foot404, when you said you're still paying rent and yet after you dropped 700k for your wife you're still paying some miscellaneous to run the family.

@OP, I put the blame on you for the fact that either you or your wife lack management

Secondly, I guess you're using money to tie down your wife may be perhaps she ought to have left you for long

Thirdly, despite the poor configuration of Nigeria economy, even if your wife is selfish that 700k suppose to remain change of 300k.

Fourthly, did your family consume a bag of rice or beans or 50kg of semo or wheat on monthly basis?

Did you slaughter chicken or turkey on daily basis

If truly your monthly figure is correct as 700k, you're the reason why your wife is exploiting you.

Apart from pepper and some other short span foods or grain I don't expect your wife to be buying seasoning, salt, cooking oil, on weekly even monthly basis

Then what's she buying with 700k I guess she's not contented type or maybe perhaps she knows the secret to your source of wealth or there's something you're hiding

My brother na way out i dey find.

efemena5050:
have never seen any over kind weak man tht always want to be good loyal and submissive to his wife tht have ever been happy.....imagine with all this the woman still act up ....God forbid.......ur just to weak loyal and kind to her thts y she act up ......
Am speaking from experience
No man is ever respected by any woman tht always provide all her need....... increase the fire under her feet and watch her take u seriously........u dey leg she dey drive.....she keep her own them eat ur own .....u ask for inclusiveness she vex........mumu man ....na so my papa do .....my mama don buy house everywhere without him knowing.......ur very annoying.....

Wetin your Papa come do when him find out?

Commanderinpips:
My brother you are the man of the house, the earlier you stand your grand the best for you. By GOD'S Grace I am happily married and from my almost two decades in marriage I have learnt to stamp my feet on family finances, remember if you fail the same woman will blame you. Shalom

Na wetin I dey always talk, that's my biggest fear.

smasher1:
It's too small. I spend about a million monthly and still save. I can't lie to you, I don't get many basic cheap things done. making hair for the three other people in the house is very difficult. I wonder how others survive that have not seen a significant increase in remuneration in the past one year or more.

Hmn. Wetin make I come do na?

Orlu13:
is this even real...op pls don't try to annoy me this afternoon... u better delete this rubbish u posted here

Which part of it doesn't look real enough to you?

Gerrard59:
Yet to see the benefits. Look at the expenses. What do you use your money for yourself?

P.S. That is the first mistake. Plenty children.

Good luck to those involved.

You are saying 4 kids is 'plenty'?