₦airaland Forum

descarado:
In marriage, all partners are equal. Repeat, all partners are equal.
Also, it's "our" house not "my" house.
You will start enjoying your marriage the moment you start using this mindset. Your wife will literally do anything to make your life easier.

Equal abi? So we should also contribute equally abi?

Cowbell521:
She no dey work? Na this kind woman dey ruin man life. You go work and you won't have any achievements. Better wake up. Mugu

I mentioned her occupation bro.

We4all:
It's you who doesn't understand what is playing out. Your wife knows you are comfortable and she is raising her kids accordingly. She claims she cannot give the children boiled water because she can afford to buy bottled water.

I have seen such scenarios play out on so many occasions. My kids cannot eat or drink this....bla...bla...bla...But when life happens and they cannot afford to buy bottled water for the kids, they will start giving them borehole water and nothing will happen.

What I'm trying to say is, people go over the top for their kids and show off because they can afford it and not because they see it as a life's necessity. Peradventure, you have a drop in income and cut down her allowance to 100K monthly, she will learn to adjust.

My brother, na dat matter I dey always raise. But I am sure you know how all women react to such talk.

Tjra:
4 kids and you want 700k per month to be enough in PH? Impossible

Your wife is not cheating you. Things are super expensive.

Are you saying that there are no people earning 400k as whole salary and still living in PH?

NoToPile:
For context I am female and I understand how it can be trying to give the children the best especially with food to make them healthy. Health is wealth. Children are always prioritized but some of your children are old enough to begin to understand some things.

If it's drinking bottled water that will make them not fall sick then you guys have no choice but to continue. Now I am assuming water supply in your axis is not clean enough to be boiled for drinking because even the costs of bottled water alone for 4 kids in a month is a whole lot of money. Some snacks can be cut off once once, the fresh juices are still okay it's healthy though expensive.

You guys just have to find a way around the costs, you sound strained already.

Talk to her.

For me, na to boil borehole water we been dey do. At some point, she switched to pure water. I didn't trust pure water (she boils the water for the kids). I started travelling to shell water point to get potable water, she go still boil am before giving the children, me I drink it directly because I believe it is clean enough. At some point, it was too stressful for me going to shell. So, she switched to bottle water.

I had to refrain a little to cut down on the frequency of frictions, and, I've been trying to indoctrinate my kids on the needful so it doesn't look like I am the bad parent.

Mindlog:
Yes, it is too small.

How is it too small please?

NoToPile:
Depending on your families 'standard' considering the cost of feeding and ' every other thing your family needs apart from school fees then 700k is not too much.

Basically what I see here is a standard.

Is your family the rice krispies, peak milk only, expensive cereals type? No akamu once a while? (even akamu sef is costly)

Feeding is crazily expensive, all groceries are crazily expensive. Does she make fresh juices for your children etc etc. It all depends on the standard. Is the car taken everywhere instead of entering Keke sometimes? Every other thing needed for the house too is crazily expensive these days.
Do you guys subconsciously feel you need to meet up with a particular standard in the area you live?
Do you guys have to run Gen always once there's no light etc etc.


All These above are factors. And all these big big amount has little value these days. Full tank of 60liters plus is a lot of money now.


What I will advise you do is talk to her on how you guys can reduce cost, since you are feeling strained already reduce the standard a bit, so that some cash can be squeezed out, good thing you don't have toddlers your children are of the age they will understand small small, some extras can be Withdrawn. Most families are now joining heads together on how things can work finaincially these days.

I am more than certain that it is food that takes a large chunk of that amount.

It is well bros.

Thank you my brother. If I am in charge, I go very low, I no send anybody because nobody feeds me.

Yes, she makes fresh juice every morning for their lunch in school. The kids got tired of the fresh juice that they ignore it and return with it sometimes. Now she buys other drnks like yoghurt, chocolate and milkshake. Said she will be alternating them so they still drink the fresh juice when she gives them.

She complains i am too strict, and sometimes go for cheap things at the expense of quality. Always blackmailing me with the kids' health. That was why I withdrew a bit, before I'll be blamed if my kids fall sick. But, no be naija we dey? They still fall sick once in a while. It was in that regards she stopped them from drinking any other water but Eva.

I know some of these are not neccessary, but I just look away sometimes in order not to be 'too' strict'.

For comparison of standard, it's a NO. She knows nobody dares that in my house. Na she just set the standard, which if allowed, i will definitely lower it. Once in a while we dey clash, but you know how e dey be.

NoToPile:
General upkeep, fueling and maintenance of car.

What is general upkeep?

List what it consists of?

Basically food, and any other thing she or the family needs, because school fees is not part of it.

Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

Are you just sharing your experience or are you soliciting for advice? You already said you can't take advice

This is restitution. Now if he wants to go to school, he will study for himself

natedensel:
Is it just me or it's same with other guys, the embarrassment I feel is as if I'm the one doing something embarrassing, and I can't help the feeling, because of that I shy away from buying foodstuff or other stuff that will make me bargain.

Bro, it is simply because you are timid about it, just the same way some guys think it unthinkable to approach a woman, they rather go for the one that has 'standard pruce'.

But I advise you, the sooner you know that everything is negotiable, the better for you. Even supermarket sef.

Warning: don't let your kids end up this way.

Advice: There are some books that can help you learn the art of nwgotiation.

Note: Everything in life is about
negotiation, so long as more than one party involved. Being in a relationship, getting a job, doing business, renting a house, buying a car, everything bro.

Caution: when bargaining always consider the person at the other end. Don't take advantage of them. E get why.

NoahHadNoArk:
I crave it now so bad
Where can I get it in Uyo pls ?!

Are you pregnant?

Ladiesdoctor:
Patience Jonathan messed up Rivers State.
She used Wike to torment Amaechi severely.
Their govt is the reason why Amaechi decamped from his party.
Now, look at what Woke is doing in Rivers, he made Amaechi govt ungovernable and now he is messing up with Fubara's govt.

Fubara will mess Wike up big time.

Don't blame Patience, Amaechi was not doing ok then, I didn't support him for many things he did. But that does not give Wike any nudge to do all that he has done and is still doing. We all know how greedy and wicked wike is. He wants to be to Rivers what tilumbu is to lagos, not knowing that the majority of dwellers in these two places are of different bloodlines. It was this kind of matter that liberated Anambra from the Ubahs through Ngige.

Acekidc4:
Are you asking me 🤨 i don't think you know how politics works 🤔

That is why you allowed these thieves to keep you where you all are today. Imagine what you are supporting.

PARADIZEPRIEST:
No protest on road that fellow common man is using to hussle will solve the hunger.
GO AND CAMP AT NASS,HOUSES OF ASSEMBLIES NATIONWIDE AND ASO ROCK,IF YOU WANT real SOLUTION.

I support you 100%. Any protest should target the politicians, not the masses.

Hahahahaha

HeatSeeker:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2024/06/5-silent-killer-foods-nigerians-love/

That kilishi no follow jor

WizardOfNG:
You are correct it should be available to all but that cannot be right now with a power sector so poor and archaic, it is the equivalent of what some developed nations had over a century ago.

The guy you responded to is 100% correct. Without redundant back and forth about how we got here, the reality is that State and Federal government do not have even 10% of the money required to fund the 24/7 power Nigerians hanker for.

As he correctly stated also, the private sector will avoid investment in the power sector of a nation that can never be profitable for them because Nigerians and their entitlement mentality, coupled with their romance with generational poverty they love sleeping with, feel they should pay 1k naira a month ( less than 1 dollar) for 24/7 electricity.

For decades now we have been been "signing" deals with Siemens etal and 24/7 power supply is "near" yet have those world class companies, with profit being their God, ever landed on ground to begin working towards our illusionary 24/7 power?

They stay away because of the simple fact that power supply is very expensive, from generation through transmission and then distribution.

To them this means Nigeria, where we dont want to pay the actual cost of 24/7 power because Government has saddled us with poverty mentality due to subsidising every aspect of our lives, is a bad market for them.

How I wish some of you can see we have really boxed ourselves into a terrible corner with poverty-elongating subsidization of every aspect of Nigerian life, over many decades now, when we should have just let free market competition and greater private sector intervention develop our critical sectors (power supply, education, fuel supply etal) as it did for the richest and most developed nations of the world today.

I agree with certain pointd you made. But, like I said, Nigeria can provide 24/7 electricity for her citizens now, the truth is that the captains of the ships do not really want it.

The mentality of the average Nigerian is skewed in some sense, but some of their 'entitlement mentality' is deserving.

I spent more on electricity last month (a 4 bedroom duplex) than a friend in Sweden (3 bedroom villa). W
Nigerians have been sonmessed up that we have accepted our fate.

In all your submission, you seem to exonorate our leaders.

If the government will have a roadmap of enduring steady electricity state by state in piecemeal for the past years, then Nigerians will have hope.

How can you even be talking of costly power tjat you have not supplied?

omohayek:
Why not go full communist while you're at it, and start ranting "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!" like a good student of Karl Marx? How well did that work out for the Soviet Union? How well is it currently working out for North Korea?

You need to grow up and face reality: electricity costs something to generate, and someone somewhere must pay that price. Neither the FG nor the states have the money to do so, and no private investors are going to squander their own savings so you can enjoy the unrealistically cheap power you consider yourself "entitled" to. It is that very same "entitlement" mentality that has led Nigeria's power generation and distribution to stagnate for the last 40 years!

What is your argument? It seems you didn't understand my point.

My point is, electricity can be expensive, no problem, but make it available for all, and let all pay the same amount.

WizardOfNG:
Bro, I don't want to argue with you and others too much. I will let the detailed submission of power sector expert inform you of what I am saying about tariffs and how they must increase considerably with the attendant positive contribution of removal of electricity subsidy.

If you won't listen to me then consider the logic of the submission of experts dispassionately and objectly.

Below is an excerpt from an article submotted by a power sector export. Long read but progressive Nairaland should try and read from start to finish so they pick up a few useful info they were not aware of which can show they were previously misinformed simplistically insisting a cessation of corruption will mean 24/7 electricity.

It will help, by making more money available to invest in the power sector, but it wont deliver stable power for Nigeria that needs many times qhat politicians are stealing to move ua close to 24/7 electricity.


https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/407308-why-nigerias-electricity-supply-remains-poor-despite-privatisation-ceo-century-power.html?tztc=1

I am not against price increase, I am only strongly opining that providibg electricity by a government is not rocket science.

I pay about 250 per unit for my family now, that has only made me instruct judicious use of the resource.

Make it available 24/7 for all, even if you make it 1000 per unit, then let the rich blow AC 24/7 while the poor only uses fan when he only feels very hot, else hand fan will serve.

24/7 electricity is possible for all in naija

WizardOfNG:
That is not true and this is a mistake, ignorant of our reality, some of you keep making.

Without belabouring the consideration of how we got here, the reality is that power supply is very expensive and Nigeria can simply not afford 24/7 power supply for every Nigerian even if our national income tripled.

This is because decades of under-investments in the power sector has now left Nigeria with a moribund, highly inadequate and archaic power sector.

One key solution is to increase tariffs and reinvest profit made in enhancing power generation, transmission and distribution till we can scale up enough to reach 24/7 supply eventually.

Because we alll have different power needs and pockets, it is only fair and logical to have higher tariffs for those willing to pay more for more hours of power per day since it is impossible to give all Nigerians 24/7 power supply as many ignorantly believe.

If we do this Judiciously for 5 to 8 years, and Nigeria's economy continues to improve meaning more money to invest in power supply, we will eventually move towards 24/7 power supply for everyone and one uniform tariffs for all Nigerians
for residentials users while businesses will always have to pay more per their far heavier use and the reality they use government-supllied electricity for profit-generation..

This is a myth our corrupt politicians have made many to believe. The money stolen by one politician can provide 24hrs electricity for one whole state.

Do you know how much has been budgeted and pent on power generation year on year? But Bart Nnaji has built a power plant which supplies 24hrs electricity in Aba with less than 1b usd.

I know you will say the same about petroleum refining, but Dangote has built one now.

Come on, let's change our orientation, we only need a leader with political will.

helinues:
They should do on time and also make sure areas are banded to the right band

Oga, please pity Nigerians and stop supporting segregation. Every Nigerian is entitled to constant supply of electricity, and the cost of electricity should be according to usage and the same for everyone

helinues:
The places they are running to, they would still need to work their ass off because no free things even in Freetown.

I am not discouraging those who want to Japa oo, but before you Japa, make sure you have degree/certificates that could earn you jobs immediately you arrived at your destination, have skills about things that can fetch you money.

No matter the certificates and skill you have, you have to endure between 3/4 and 1 year on arrival to get something 'good'. Just zero your mind you are going to start life afresh, but the truth is, this 'afresh' is equivalent to starting as an assistant manager in a Nigerian bank. Do the maths.
But it is always good to think am front and back, it is not a move for everybody. If you can't put your pride in check, and be ready to rid yourself of corrupt practices and crime, then just stay back in Nigeria. Also, if you have a job that pays minimum of 3m in Nigeria, and you live in a very posh and secure place, and you can manage to live a quiet life devoid of womanizing and reklessness, then you may remain in Nigeria. but you see the matter about securing a future for your children, sometimes your money may not save them from that if they remain in Nigeria. They may end up in some cults or evil clubs like gay club to be able succeed with less stress in Nigeria.

Nigeria matter complex abeg, and it seems not to favour the upright.

FourQu:
Peter Obi accepted the outcome as per the Judiciary told him to. He had no choice and he didn't want Obidients to start a fire he couldn't handle

BUT THAT IS PETER OBI

we Obidients have never and will never accept the outcome of that sham of an act that INEC called a presidential election last year

100%
I believe this group have been bought, or they are seeking some validation from the authorities like Doyin

RepoMan007:
Not much when you consider that it has to be delivered fresh. Such a job ties you down to the banana tree and the tree must be disease free to avoid poisoning the meal being wrapped. That's small money over there considering the stress and value associated with fresh leaf wrapped food.

You mean 30k for banana leaf is too small?

EreluRoz:
Be contented, all that has been going on should serve as a lesson to all ladies to stop paying visits to men they don't know and just met on internet. That your sweet internet guy maybe your sad end, please be wise and trust nobody.

They will never hear my brother, both ladies (oloshoing) and boys (ritual money).
It is people who have no other hope in life, and don't see themselves working hard to achieve anything tangible conclude that this is the only way to make it in life.

The worst is ladies, they are not ready to work for money, yet they shame men who are struggling more than them to make legit earning. I am yet to place where I see Nigerian youths in 15 years.

Kingzadee:
Person no work na problem, person go work na problem

Human hearts are dangerous!!!

O boy, that country don caste o. You can't be rich or poor in peace. No safety anywhere.

xin5:
As a bachelor I Just strolled out of my street to go get bean because the last basket I bought March has finished.

Before the year ends death toll might rise in this country due to starvation. And no one is really saying something about this outrightly.
Why can't we call for help from ecowas and un intervention now that some of us are still alive.
.

Nobody will die bro, Nigerians will find a way.
Who will call for the intervention? They have been doing that. But when they get the funds, they pocket it. Only the death of Nigeria can cure it.

When a man's health gets to a point doctors can do any better, death is the only thing that can ease the man's pains. Nigeria is there now. And the people don't want real change, they are only hoping the wind of corruption will blow some goodies their way.

No Igbo man has discovered the place to go and sell water? Use tanker go get the water from Benin republic and come and sell to reduce their sufferings.

Zonefree:
As a surviving man, a running slip gives more joy than a non virgin Nigerian girl.

Lol. Waiting for either a heartbreak or more joy at the end right?

aieromon:
Deceptive.

Why are they charging ₦102/kWh for Bands B to E?

Perhaps because the low bands still have relatively steady supply compared to Power Holders