₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
u might not be the only one she's dating.she might have six or seven other niggas dat she's in a relationship with.so weda u even start giving her monthly allowance or u refuse giving her it doesn't even make any difference sef.

Then you've got to make sure you're the only one. Theres no way a woman can date six guys at once and you wont see some signs. Wisen up!

BiggyB242:
My friend, the few ladies I have meant don't have this mentality "my bf has to take care of me" many of these sets of ladies are those with professional degree they are well learnt and are not a feminist either. All they say "I will support my bf".

if they dont say they think it. And if youre not showing that youre financially able to be a husband or father then they’ll leave you for someone who will be. Unless youre talking to teenagers.

greiboy:
Why do women waste time to acquire skills then? I.e. Education

Shouldn't every woman just end up In the kitchen then, since women go into relationship mainly for stability?

Education is not only about educating yourself academically. Just want you to understand that. We go to school for different reasons. However, as a woman theres nothing wrong with having your own money. Actually, its very very important to have your own life and income outside your relationship. If a man is going to come into my life though, he must contribute financially, its a must. If im going to accept his proposal, theres must be a substantial gain on my end.

BiggyB242:
Date an independent lady and you wouldn't have this issue ,my opinion.

Independent ladies want providers and men that take care of them,no excuse. Unless you want a feminist who will do 50/50 with you on everything, maybe that’s what you’re looking for. There’s no problem with that either.

Kingdante:
Take it from me, a girl with that kind of attitude is bad news ooo........ she is more interested in the “benefit” than the relationship, she sees relationships as an avenue to make ends meet...... and the part that killed me was when she said “ you are fucking her” madam Bleep no b favor if you want us to pay for the Bleep, just stand for road and tell us the price for short time easy!!! Nope come form relationship here then begin ask for money for sex.


She is saying If the guy isn’t well to do she will cheat and lie.... like wtf are you talking? Take it from me no matter what you do for this kind of girl the very minute she sees a “ flashy” guy is willing to spend more on her, she will move on .... cos she sees the relationship as an means of lively hood.... a new richer guy is like a job promoting to her..... all she has to offer is sex! Sex!! Sex!!! Nothing more .


By their fruits.... we shall know then.


Giving money to ones gf is a favour, a privilege to that girl by no mean is it a right ......................



Go argue with your ancestors

What is the essence of a relationship if you’re not benefiting from it? I hate to sound somehow, but honestly I feel like you guys are not being honest with yourselves. Sex is not a favour to you guys, yet you persue it more than money sef. Sex is basically like food to men. After basic amenities like food and water sex should be next for men. Women don’t persue sex in the same manner.

The same way if you meet a woman who can prepare your favourite meal and coook better, throw it down in the bedroom more, looks better, wouldn’t you opt for the better option? Wouldn’t that be more of a ‘wife’ to you? Not justifying cheating but if she decides to leave for a man who can do a better job as a provider,she has the right to do so. Jeez you guys are becoming so sensitive.

UDUJ:
Bye bye too Miss Safiaa. I just can never understand how you think

no problem.

makydebbie:
Safiaa. We both can't agree on this one, though you're someone I respect here.

How can I go into a relationship with the mentality that this guy chose to be with me because he had no option? That's low self esteem.

So what if a billionaire is wooing me, with your ideology, don't you think he's doing me a favor by upgrading my status?

We can agree to disagree.

UDUJ:
The insults were not intended.

I still don't agree with your points. At the bold face, still very very very wrong.

A company goes for the very best from a pool of candidates, and they need the expertise of such candidates to achieve success. It's a 50-50 win-win situation for the company and the candidate. You don't expect me to say a company is doing me a favor by hiring me (with my qualifications,certifications, years of progressive experience and achievements), that's an insult.

Your analogy is flawed. Accept that fact

We can agree to disagree. Even will all your qualifications and certifications you can still be unemployed and jobless. You can still not perform to the expectations of the company. Most companies don’t employ based off certifications and experience, TRUST ME. So if a company decides to employ you out of thousands , they’re doing you a favour. Consider yourself lucky. Bye bye for now.

greiboy:
A lot of your analogy would have been perfect, if we were having a discussion about the sex industry .i.e. Prostitutes and so on, but unfortunately we are talking about romantic relationships in the real world here.

Some of your terminologies are very popular In the sex industry in the context of romance . E.g. transactions, money etc.

Now to your question.

1)What do men go after in romantic relationships

Companionship

Moral Support

sex

And so on

Frankly, these aforementioned reasons are not entirely different from why most ladies go in search of romance.

Therefore, I see no reason for the women's entitlement mentality in Nigerian, or am i missing something?

Women go into relationships mainly for stability. Other things may apply like companionship etc , but this is core. This has nothing to do with being a goldigger, this is just he truth. If a man is going to come into a woman’s life he has to prove that he’s Capable of providing a stable lifestyle for future generations. Other things fall after that.

UDUJ:
At the bold face, I just concluded you got shit for brains. Have you ever worked a single day in your life?

The company is not doing you a favor by employing you, neither are you doing the company a favor by accepting the job. The end goal of the game is money. It's a business and the company needs you to hit the bottom line, same way you need the salary of the company to survive.

First of all, Do I know you from anywhere? Why quote me with insults, clearly there’s something wrong with you. You can argue and disagree without being ridiculous. Nonsense.

It’s a transactional relationship that happens between the boss and the employee. The end goal is money, agreed. How will this goal be met if sacrifices/favours are not made? If a very top notch job decides to employ you out of thousands, you have to look at it like they’re doing you a favour. You treat the job with care, a replacement will be very easy for the company. Transactional relationships are never equal. This is not even the point, the main point is that if I decide to date you after you persue me, I’m doing you a favour by accepting. Nothing in this life is equal, wake up! It’s as simple as ABC, no if buts or maybes.

makydebbie:
Love, relationships and everything that comes with it should be mutual. I can't go into a relationship with the mentality that, I'm doing this guy a favor by dating him, then there's no love there. SUCH RELATIONSHIPS CANNOT WORK, because it's one sided. It means the love is one sided too.
For two individuals to come together, overlook each others flaws, whatever they feel should be mutual. The guy would've gone for that cute sexy girl in the street, so for him to choose you and start taking care of you, he's doing you a favor too because it could be anybody. It's better for a lady to remain single than to be in a relationship where she thinks she's doing him a favor. That's a different kind of pride and narcissism.

Lol, I'm trying to understand this, but like you said I really can't understand it, so I'll just respect your opinion.

Maky, what you don’t understand is that a man will always go for the best that his money and status can get. Yes they’ll always be prettier and sexier ladies than you, but can he get them? A man pursuing you and chasing you, he’s looking at you like you’re the best he can get in that period. So it’s not something that you consciously think in your head at all times, but subconsciously you’re doing him a favour by accepting his proposal especially if he’s pursuing you hard. Like I said all these things happen naturally, so it’s not like you’ll have this entitled mentality thinking that you’re better than him. It’s more or less knowing your worth and not accepting less than what you deserve. So if I expect you to financially contribute to the relationship, it really shouldn’t be a problem.

greiboy:
So in other words, Dating in the context of romance in Nigeria is simply a situation where a man is financially or materially indebted to a woman.[Nairaland ladies standard dictionary].

It is strictly transactional and purely business and it has nothing to do with romance or any of those lovey-dovey mushy stuff, nothing like love conquers all


Interesting !

It’s not strictly a transaction. This is not a teenage love affair we’re talking about it, this is adult love. Adult love requires some sort of transaction. What do men go after? What do women go after? When they come together, do they both get what they want? Answer that.

It’s just like when you look for a job that you really want that pays well, a company is doing you more of a favour by accepting you as the employee. Even though they’re possibly better candidates that could take on the job, they chose to accept you for whatever reason. You then have to return the favour by doing what you can to perform your best. It’s a give and take, that’s how all relationships work.

makydebbie:
So the guy is not doing you a favor too by choosing you to woo and spending money on you, sis?

The fact that a man chooses to woo me, it’s completly on his own basis. A man seeks for what he wants, not the other way round. He’s doing himself a favour by picking the girl that he wants, it’s not the other way round. Women normally have to settle for the options that come their way. Now after accepting this favour, the way to level things out is to receive something in return. I don’t think you can really understand this, but this is just the way I see things.

.

makydebbie:
Lol you're typing as if she's doing this grudgingly or something and she deserves to be patronized for it. It's wrong dating a dating a lady who thinks she's doing you a favor by dating you. It's supposed to be mutual. Wtf.

Well that’s your opinion. I’m just stating what naturally happens in a relationship whether it’s conciously or not. So whether you agree or not, indirectly you’re doing the guy a favour by accepting to date him.

Impregnable101:
80% of nigerian girls expect u to start footing her bills the moment she agrees to date u like they are doing u a favour

& that's wrong!

Yes she is doing you a favour. You chased her not the other way round, you went out of your way to patronise her and she accepted you out of many so she’s doing YOU a favour.
She’s taking herself off the dating market in her prime.
She’s giving you her body (most times)
She’s trusting you with her time and biological clock
She’s risking her emotional state being with you.

The least you can do is reciprocate the favour by being financially supportive. The problem with you guys is, you just want to take take take and not give anything in return. It’s bad.

Trust me, you don’t know what unconditional love is until you have a child. Even if the father in law doesn’t offer money, I’ll still love that child and stay with my child’s father.

Didn’t read everything, but my opinion is that as a boyfriend you don’t have to spend your every dime on your Gf or cater to every single thing she wants to buy. However you need to spend money. If you can’t afford to date, stay single. It’s as simple as ABC. Nobody is putting a gun to your head to have a gf.

prechbills1:
not all these stories..
expose me like you promised

broke girl living in a village somewhere in Nigeria, keep deceiving the ignorant ones that you're living in the UK..

we told you to Screenshot the thread and you ran away..

I blame myself for taking you serious

okay

prechbills1:
still waiting for you to expose me

fake life

Why have you mentioned me over 5 times this morning? Dude, go and attend to your madam aka fiancé. Im not in the mood.

Yawns

DonPiiko:
Thank you

for?

greiboy:
I saw a meme today on the front page that really touched me, but I forgot to save it.

The meme touch on an important aspect of life.

The meme in question referred people back to a time when they were kids and made fun of their jobless 25years old relatives for being poor and hopeless, but today at a similar age of 25 years they are probably not faring any better than their jobless cousins back then.

So while I will put a lot of effort into making sure I am not dependent on any of my family members by the age of 30, I am not going insult those still living under their parents at that age now.

It’s true. I agree.

prechbills1:
my friend stop shining your broke teeths.. kindly screenshot this thread

Stop tying too hard. Anyways later, talk another time.

prechbills1:
lefulefu ,greiboy... you guys should tell this UK girl to screenshot this thread

prechbills1:
Safiaa pm me your account details..
it's seems brokeness is the cause of your problem.

I'm not even in good terms with 79% of the ladies I'm following.. I just click the follow button whenever you make a sensible post at a particular time

prechbills1:
you dey UK?

screenshot this thread lemme see.

UK indeed, your entire family don't have 500k as we're speaking right now.

I'd just ignore your attention seeking ass

why was I the first person you followed? There’s a reason for that

prechbills1:
you're stupid.. spill all the truth you know and you're saying another thing


young lady don't provoke me this night

broke cúnt

It is well with your cursed soul

prechbills1:
girl spill out what you know!

mehn.. this one is just a dimwit..

broke ladies been misbehaving since time immemorial. .

you live in the UK, I don't live in the UK you gonna tell me how and where you knew me..

go get your lazy ass a befitting job and stop saying nonsense on social media.

Continue. Lool. The truth will all come to light.

prechbills1:
lmao.. starts with what?

I've only been using prechbills. my first accounts prechbills and 02prechbills1 were banned.

you ain't serious abeg


dumb scumbag

sharrap. Keep fooling yourself, I’ve got your IP address.

Lalas247:
Lol me too
Thought it was only me who figured it out ...

lol I hope we’re on the same page his main moniker starts with......