carefreewannabe: The problem is NOT that I do not comprehend better, the problem is that I comprehend your motifs too well.
Oh, I see!
So it is just your normal rubbish of interpreting for me?
You implied what I meant on my behalf?
carefreewannabe: You are very good at finding minor flaws in people's argumentation structure but fail to come up with your own argumentation. When asked you will say things like "Disgust is my argument but not my only one." Disgust is not even an argument and the others are left for people to guess. So much for the illusion of e-victories.
I don't find minor faults. I find entire faults in what they say after I ask them a few questions that get them stuck.
I don't imply for them. I ask them questions to clarify their position in a comprehensive manner (this helps in ensuring they cannot repudiate their own arguments when stuck) and then I go for the logical kill.
Disgust is not an argument until ............................................... we decide "lets legalise polygamy".
Or until we discuss whether it is acceptable for a man that is 70 years old dating an 19 year old and smacking her from behind like a smoking Chinese highspeed train and she is moaning "Yes, Daddy. Hit that shyt like I have been a bad girl". Then you start vomiting and saying it is disgusting.
carefreewannabe: Now to your question. When you say that a woman is at a disadvantage for having a child then it means the same as the child is a disadvantage to her.
And then on a different occasion you will say that women getting custody in the West have an advantage. What a contradiction. Is it according to your own argumentation here not actually the other way round?
I think you are struggling to comprehend that every complex position in life comes with pros and cons.
It really is that simple.
Complex ...............There will be pros .................There will be cons.
Don't struggle to understand that in a highly intellectual debate.
The cons would be more for the mother if she does not have kids with her. It would just be a different set of cons.
If a man has his kids in his custody too, it would have its pros and cons.
Again: Complex ...............There will be pros .................There will be cons.
carefreewannabe: I have no problem, unlike you, debating on and offline. I can do both. You think you are objective? What is your objectivity based on? Disgust? Prejudice?
Emotional twisting coupled with word twisting is your forte, not mine.
No, you have a problem debating on or offline. You are a "woman"!
Selfish and illogical! And you do not see the need to make sense, afterall you are the poor, defenceless, victim sex.
carefreewannabe: Of course you didn't call the child disadvantage directly but saying that having a child is a disadvantage is pretty much the same thing. And then again, when having a child is a disadvantage for a woman, how do the laws, you constantly lament over, favor women? Let me see the logic that explains that.
carefreewannabe: Next time remind yourself that your SUBJECTIVE experiences with women are the reason why you come to a thread asking women if karma is the reason for what they may be going through. So much for objectivity and logic. Karma.
I only reversed a "real man" training logic to another "woman".
You know? The selfish and illogical human specie?
carefreewannabe: And I guess you assume that women don't mind dating single fathers. (Let me guess, you will now say that men are not the ones who children stay with and then on the next thread you will argue that custody laws favor women. Objectivity.)
Are you implying for me again, Professor Implier?
carefreewannabe: A man having a child will also have a restricted pool of possible partners. I guess, you can only see one part of the reality, the one that you want to see to feel better.
Obviously!
But not as limited pool as a woman as I stated and implied in my post but as a raging feminist, red mist in your eyes will not see that.
carefreewannabe: Which woman wants a man who reasons that a woman who has already given birth is impure and not fresh? Answer: Only a desperate woman. Therefore, if my pool was reduced due to the fact that a man reasons like this, I would be GRATFUL that such men stay away from me without having to tell them.
That just limits your pool as I argued.
And there are desperate women.
Next meaningless point.
carefreewannabe: Also, do you actually assume that women do not prefer men who will only be father to their kids? Do you assume that women have the motivation to help raising kids from other women?
Professor Implier, are you about to imply for me again?
How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged?
Next meaningless point.
carefreewannabe: If a woman meets a man who has one or more than one baby mama somewhere, do you think she doesn't consider the cost of it, which is not only financial?
Professor Implier, are you about to imply for me again?
How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged?
Next meaningless point.
carefreewannabe: Again, how do laws that give AUTOMATICALLY give women the custody for kids favor them then? I asked you this question on the other thread and then you used your deviation tactics and slogans to shrug it off. Now here we are again.
Human rights laws mean we cannot deport someone that supports terrorism against us to a country where they can potentially be tortured.
So, according to your logic, that means Human rights do not favour our well being.
To your woman logic, finding one con is a disqualifier of all pros.
Women ||||||Brick Wall||||| Logic
carefreewannabe: Besides, a man who ALREADY has children himself is restricted too as he will have to (provided he cares about his children) spend time with his kids at least on every second weekend.
And your point is?
How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged?
Next meaningless point.
carefreewannabe: I guess the logic and objectivity you always refer too, Mr Intellectual God, is so clouded that you can only jump from thread to thread and use your arguments without seeing the whole picture.
You implied that I did not see the whole picture, Professor Implier?
Or you have a habit of disjointing the picture.
According to your woman logic, "if I can point out that some single fathers also have disadvantage, then that proves single mothers do not have a disadvantage when juxtaposed with a single girl with no child".
Women ||||||Brick Wall||||| Logic
carefreewannabe: Good you know it. And because for a mother her child/ren will always have priority, she will never think of herself as someone who is at a disadvantage because a partner, especially when the children are very young, be it the biological father or not, is her most precious gift in life.
I remember when a friend of mine who was separated from her baby father would tell any men within the first half an hour of their first encounter about her child and show photos of her son. I know it because I witnessed it when we went out. The fact that some men might refuse to date her because of that did not even bother her a bit.
Another friend with a child who was searching for a new relationship online would post photos of her and her daughter for everyone to see that either they accept her with there child or not at all. And she wouldn't give a damn if that would limit her options.
I am afraid, you cannot understand the love of a mother and therefore how she will never consider HAVING a child a disadvantage.
There are plenty of the so called patchwork families in the West. It has become a very ordinary family type.
I guess, your objectivity made you forget that this happens between a baby mother and a new girlfriend, too.
I know plenty of well-to-do men who are married to ordinary women. You may, however, use celebrities to prove your point. And keep deceiving yourself that physical attractiveness is not important to women. And then tell yourself that MoST men have the capability to make so much money that it will buy them "love".
And I will tell you that even a woman in her 50s will have greater chances with men than you with women. Bitter truth.
Yeah but they will happily sell off their daughters to old, ugly, men if his account is fat and shapeless. And Sagamite will STILL use feminism to indirectly insult someone.
You forgot objectivity that makes you remind women of how they have to please men in their twenties and forget that fathers with children have a limited options too.
You take revenge on women on every possible occasion. You use scare tactics to put yourself in a position of power.
In other words, except their a mechanisms to identify "shytheads" you will insult the innocent ones too.
You could have said it without having to offend anyone. And even if the dating pool for some women reduces from 1000 men to 500 men, a child is not a reason to think of oneself as disadvantage.
And the fact that many men cannot comprehend it, is the reason why custody is granted to MOTHERS in the first place. Blame yourself!
A MOTHER will accept her limited options and still choose her child without considering herself disadvantaged.
Fck me!
I am tired of this rants.
Can you highlight to us anywhere you made a point or proved that single mothers are not disadvantaged?
Or you think because you are a woman, you do not need to make sense?
If I was your teacher and you wrote all this rubbish to prove single mothers are not disadvantaged:
- you will get no marks
- you will get no cute, colourful, fun stickers on your notebook
- I will actually bitcch-slap the murrafcker out of you when you come for your notebook and when your parents come into school to complain, I would tell them "That is how we knock sense into kids in AFRICA".
But what about majority of black men who find it difficult to understand 'I am not interested or I have a boyfriend', you have no idea how annoying that could be especially if you are the type that hates going back and forth on a simple issue. You have to pretend to be nice while they going on about how much they care for you till you snap, and they resort conveniently to emotional blackmail, 'it wasn't your fault, I was the one that thought you were special or I am good-looking, successful and intelligent enough to get any other if not for my feelings for you bla bla bla'.
I wish they could hear themselves speak
If you have been friendly to people and they are taking a piss without getting the clear message, then you are perfectly entitled to tell them to fck off.
Sixix: Another category is those who after saying a Capital 'NO' will start treating you like a piece of trash, talk to you as if you are their little siblings, denigrate you like their maidservants. They get so rude and condescending that you have no alternative than to give them a piece of your mind.
Giving them your mind is a "Well done" thing.
Sixix: I call it emotional torture, and to most the solution lies in saying yes only for them to treat the guys as they deem fit. So whose fault it is? The lady would be blamed and the guy is practically blameless. A lady that says yes after several no(s) is worth investigating , It could be out of genuine reasons like change of mind, realisation, new feelings or not so genuine reasons like an alternative to the 'one' that got away. (Applicable to guys too).
You know I don't buy into that weak, defenceless, women-are-victim narratives.
The woman's RESPONSIBILITY is to dismiss the man, not say yes as a response to his persistence and then be "justified" to be mean.
I am sure if I said I shaggged a woman, used her financially and ran because "she was persistent in chasing me", it would not be a justified because I am an adult capable of saying "No".
Sixix: And Most of black guys need lessons on when to back-off, after two tries, leave her the hell alone. Look for someone else. If she is meant for you she will come back to you out of her own volition.
Couldn't agree more.
If they don't get polite NOs, then women are perfectly entitled to tell them to fck off.
Sixix: Every woman has to face the problem of choosing one among many all declaring their sincere love to her, it gets more difficult when most black guys literally say 'I love you' to girls they have just met. This is the moment we lose focus, forget what we 'need' and blindly follow what we assume to b the best, the most convincing. Do not forget that social, economic and cultural factors play a huge role on how we make our decisions which I believe those are the causes of the 'stinking attitude', the reasons why we cannot date poor guys
All these ones are weak, defenceless, women-are-victim excuses.
You are adults and equals, have some responsibilities and be responsible for your actions and choices.
It is shocking when the tables turn and some men now have more options and the same "problem" of choosing one among many with lovely but different juicy assets all fighting for his attention and they then sensibly decide to have all instead of just choosing one, you women see it as unfair and start the insulting/disparaging labelling (e.g. Arsehole, baastard, immature, real man not, creep etc) instead of seeing us as poor, weak, defenceless victims.
carefreewannabe: Just remember that you can end up a single father too. Then don't ask any woman to look after your "burden".
Most likely he would not have primary care for the child, so he would not have that much disadvantage.
Many more women than men are willing to tolerate a man with a baby because:
- There is a short supply of eligible men than there is of women.
- Women need relationship more than men.
- It shows a level of badness, something women find attractive in men.
- It quickly turns conversations with women subconsciously into sexual ones or imagery. If you are an Alpha man who understands the G-code, you would know the earlier you turn conversations with women sexual, the more likely you get laid and move far far far away from the friend zone and even the gates to the zone is locked to prevent your future entry. Young boys, jot that fcking shyt down.
- It shows another woman has done the vetting to the point she allowed herself be pregnant, he must be good at something or have some attraction.
- He is someone else's. That turns on the "snatch mode" in many females. [i]Snatch the murrafcker's man!
- Women look at other qualities in men than men look in women. It is more emotional for women.[/i]
Now to the logic and facts! Many more fathers (especially Africans) get to have steady mates more easily than single mothers. As for Jamaican men, they are proficient in that shyt!
Your feminist rages would never make nature politically correct!
carefreewannabe: Having a child is not a disadvantage. And using single mothers to take revenge on ill-mannered women is actually very sad of you. Your words may have an impact on innocent kids.
Hope you will never end up as a single father and complain about your "disadvantage".
GOD!
First of all, you need to learn to comprehend better.
I could go ahead, AS USUAL, to run you through the mill by asking you very simply:
How did my saying "a woman is now at a disadvantage" equivalent to "her child is a disadvantage"?
And then you would be stuck and look like a jellyfish out of water.
That is the beauty of online forum arguments! Everything you say, just the way you say without any emotional twisting, sugar-coating and ranting shout-downs is there for all to see. It is far better than live verbal arguments for those that like to stick to what is actually said, objectivity, facts and logic.
I did not call the child a "disadvantage", I stated that the child being in the picture puts the woman at a disadvantage.
So, AGAIN, next time comprehend what is said before any feminist outburst.
Now to the logic and facts! ..............You know, those sensible stuff.
YES, having a child is a disadvantage in the mating world, [far far far]8 more so for women. It limits the pool of men who would be interested in them, the way they (women) usually want a man to be interested in them i.e. long-term commitment.
Simple FACT! If you still don't get it, get a dictionary to understand the meaning of the word "disadvantage".
A WOMAN HAVING A CHILD IS A DISADVANTAGE IN MATING!
How is it a disadvantage:
1. It gives a perceptive confirmation of lack of impurity and freshness. It somehow subconsciously indicates she is not all yours, someone else had owned her before you. It is also a statement to ALL who know you both that your misses was totally someone else's before. Men are naturally territorial and feminine purity is seen and valued at a premium. A child says "This territory was colonised before", many men with several options might not be willing to take that.
2. Any man going into it, with his head screwed on, has to accept the child(ren) as his and treat them equally as his own. The last time I checked, it cost £220K to raise a child in the UK up to 18 (that is roughly £12K per year). That is a steep price to pay for, or part of for, an action and pleasure that was not his. Even if the babyfather is responsible and chips in well, it is inevitable he would pay somehow (except she was previously married and the courts helped her milk her ex-husband well). Many men with several options might not be willing to pay that price especially for women who don't have a good reputation as nice people, and likely would not consider him in her prime while he was working hard and she was probably chasing bad boys or money bags (as these men see some of the single mothers).
3. A woman with a child finds it harder to date as she is not always available and might even be restricted where she can meet the guy because she does not want to introduce him too early into the child's life. Girls without kids don't have such limitations and it is easier for the guy to hook-up when he feels like. It is more fun.
4. She would prioritise her love and caring for her child. The man is really secondary. As nice as that is in principles, it is not an attractive proposition for men with several propositional options and who is not the father of the child. He can easily get a woman who would make him primary love.
5. Having a family where one child or children is fathered by a different man from the rest does not form the image of a perfect family and wholeness in the current funky society we live in where it is suppose to be about one man - one woman. A society that many would even be pissed at the thought of polygamy and rant and rant and rant out of pure anger. A child or children having to leave their half-siblings to spend some time or special days with their natural father does note make the perfect family in the Western ideals society advocate for now.
6. And if the guy is unlucky, he can even potentially have trouble with baby father or even child leading to potential antagonism or a troubled child.
7. A single mother's body is very much unlikely to be at its prime. She is less likely to be at her most attractive level. You know? That thing (attractiveness) that is the main stuff women need to woo a man.
8. Many African families with sons they see as premium would not accept their prime horse take a single mother and many follow their family expectations.
So to many men, a single mother is perceived as offering less in a mating situation. Offering an inferior proposition. That is what is called a "DISADVANTAGE" for her pulling market.
FACTS and LOGIC! The latter an assetable functionality women struggle to have.
Neither did I say one should use single mothers as revenge for on ill-mannered women. What I said is they should not expect consideration and selflessness from men. Same things most of them (black women) would most likely not offer if they have nothing to gain and the boot was on the other foot as many men have experienced when these girls were at their pprime. I treat people, and believe people should be treated, the way they deserve.
Except their is a mechanism to identify which of them were not shytheads when they had the boot earlier, then unfortunately consideration and selflessness would be in short supply for most of them. I am not a fan of rewarding the wrong people. It is against my fundamental core fcking principles. Some might be individuals with pure personalities that comes through and you will see them in different light, but many are like what Black/Naija women are like, so why should those have men being nice to them when they are inconsiderate and heartless themselves? Why would men come and be saviours for women who, when these women had an upper hand before single motherhood, would have rejected them insultingly and disparagingly if they were suitors?
As I said from the start, it is a personal choice. Those listings would mean some men would not choose single mothers. That lack of choosing is what is called a ............."disadvantage".
CharmO1: And to all those real men who have large hearts and great minds, who have looked past stigma and stereotype to date or marry single mothers, more grease to your elbows. God will enlarge your territory. And to those who are trying to discourage these strong men, just a reminder KARMA is a cold-blooded woman. Don't forget you have sisters, cousins, mothers and will have daughters one day. Single-motherhood didn't stop at my generation, it will continue as long as the earth remains. I don't wish you what has happened to my family but you have clearly forgotten that "what goes around, comes around". And to those juvenile boys who have made and are making ladies single mothers, I leave you to the God of vengeance. He will sort your matter out.
What about if it is karma that is making these women single mothers and have the tables turned on them?
As maternal said, many of these girls would have their head up their arsse and be belligerent to suitors they don't like (or even like) before the single motherhood. Only to be humble and reasonable after they are now at a disadvantage.
It is well known that majority of black women have a stinking attitude when relating to men, unfortunately it is not tattooed on their heads which ones are but it can be comfortably said majority are, so why should men be considerate and self-less to the ones that end up unfortunate?
And don't give us all that "real man", "strong man" crap.
Most women tend to be reasonable mainly only when the disadvantage is theirs. If they face no disadvantage, they are unreasonable and don't consider others' feelings. It is all "me, me, me".
dabossman: Now those were the bits I found ineresting. I don't care much for Ini Edo and her so-called husband. However, it seems his family members and friend are very jobless. Or is it that he pays them top dollar to tail Ini Edo all around he Federation? They must be feeling like Super star P.I's.
zboyd: Why do some single men/women think it's acceptable to have affairs with married people?
What's worse, some of these shameless ones brag about it and tell all who'll listen how they 'bagged' the married person, how good they are at bedmatics, how many gifts, money, etc. they've received, with the cheated on spouse none the wiser.
Why can't single people 'just say no' to married people?
With all the other single people running around, why have an affair with someone you KNOW is married - many times with children?
As for adulterous married people, why did you get married, if you didn't think you could commit to one person, 'til death do you part'?
Why do you think it's acceptable to cheat on your spouse?
Why should they say no?
Why should they deny themselves if it benefits them?
CharmO1: Wow! Many comments, mostly negative. I'm a single mother. I did the same thing many ladies have done and will always do: s3x. But I did what only a brave woman with a conscience would do, I kept my son. I laughed when I read some HELL NO's. Better a tokunbo. Car than a car that was wrecked in an accident and then panel-beat, repainted, and repackaged as new. I haven't had issues with men looking down on me because I'm independent and I don't even allow a man I'm dating meet my son. I don't want my son seeing different men in my life. It's only that lucky man that would have the priviledge of meeting him though adopting him is out of the question cos my family won't let him out of their sight. Fertility is not guaranteed because a woman has given birth but there's a higher chance of fertility and if there are no kids after marriage, then na the man get problem be that. As someone rightly said, it takes a mature mind and a good heart to be with a single mother because honestly we hardly trust because we've been hurt deeply before. I haven't met any promiscuous single mother. Strangely, most single mothers can close legs tight because of fear of being used and dumped. My advice to single mothers, don't be desperate, rely on God's time. It will happen for you too. And also be financially independent so no man calls you a gold-digger. And no matter what love your child/children because a man can break your heart and abandon you but your kid(s) are yours forever.
Then you have not been to Brixton, Harlesden, Hackney and Fisk University that much then.
maternal: Statistics. How many African men do you know have married a woman with a child. Compare that with the amount you know who married one without. The odds are against single mothers for good reason. My friend just had a baby with a single mom and is about to marry her. Of course years ago before she was a single mother she paid him no mind. Either way he has brought shame to his family and most of his family members have disowned him. His mother said only her biological grandson can come to her house not the other man's child. Who wants a blended family, nasty. Even in the animal kingdom a male lion will kill the females lions cubs if they are not biological his. It's not normal or natural to a man.
My woman and child are well taken care off. She looked at my potential not my bank account or "swag". She has helped me get where i am in life. As a result I treat her like a queen. Even if it doesn't work out in the future I will always take care of them till I die. Most of you chose a 419 with "swag", had their baby and now realize you can't raise or build a family with those people. Now you left or he left you and you feel ashamed and bitter you didn't choose the broke student who's now a successful engineer living a good life. You clowns get no pity from me. Continue looking for your mugu who'll inherit your situation. Captain save a baby mama. It will not be me in Jesus name. Next time listen to your parents not your friends when decided who to date.
She obviously did not look at your brain and definitely did not see having one as a requirement to procreate with.
OmoEziokwu: Man, there is a big problem with blacks. I'd say the ultimate problem of the black man is his aversion to intellectualism. Whether in Africa or outside of Africa, a lot of them are still the same. It even irks more when you meet them retards in the diaspora. When you tell them that they do not have the luxury of the white man and should stop twerking (hate that I have to use that word) and get busy thinking and building and developing, they call you a fool. I have lived and still live with Whites/Chinese/S.Americans/Indians and despite the fact that I stand the chance of being prejudiced against because of my colour, I use that as a tonic to spur me on, and these folks from the other races respect that. I'd like to think that it is not important what the non-blacks think, as ones integrity and ethic is certain to keep one skyward, mentally and otherwise. Asides that, it is hard not to think that these folks aren't smarter than the average black folk. Interestingly, for the most part I have found better companionship and even "love" coming from them, not that it is a surprise as such. I do not understand the entitlement mentality of the black man, and the blame game thing. You'll never see a group of young black boys or men spending hours talking about core issues of society or analyzing world affairs and the chances of its outcomes on their future, or exploring new scientific or engineering paradigms. Nigerians in particular are a shame, a big shame. I see how they like to spend their time on here, self adulating and calling themselves "Giants of Africa", when in actual fact Nigerians for the most part are the blight of Africa and I dare say, the world.
Been a while now since I gave up on the generality of black people. Nairaland helps affirm one's suppositions that Nigeria will not get better in 50 or more years time. One just keeps observing.
I just call black people Monkeys nowadays because many of them do not having reasoning capacity beyond those of these primates.
They totally refuse to engage their brains and only know how to be prayer warriors like we see them on this thread. All evidence shows that the black race is the least intelligent race out of all kinds on Earth and we cannot continue sitting down denying this evidence. Many blacks just show monumental stupidity and lack high-level thinking.
If you want to know where these monkeys are instead of having intellectual talks, I have already addressed that before.
kobonaire: So there is this dog that always chases my shadow on NL .... if I even fart he will be wagging his tail, sniffing around my rear end and barking in excited anticipation of an encore.....his owner really needs to leash him. I like dogs but this dog has no training ... sigh.
kobonaire: So there is this dog that always chases my shadow on NL .... if I even fart he will be wagging his tail, sniffing around my rear end and barking in excited anticipation of an encore.....his owner really needs to leash him
You are a cretinous fuuktard!
You are running now?
Product of a failed education system where banking is a subset of accounting.
kobonaire: So there is this dog that always chases my shadow on NL .... if I even fart he will be wagging his tail, sniffing around my rear end and barking in excited anticipation of an encore.....his owner really needs to leash him
InglishTeechar: other third world countries use keke and okada as mode of transport. Dont expect Nigeria to be america over night...with time we will get there, it took america 100 yrs...besides in case if you dont know some african countries envy Nigeria...be proud of your country and contribute your quota to her continues development.
Other countries use keke and okada? So your mentality is to compare yourself with failure?
We should take 5000 years paapaa to learn how to do algebra. At least that is what it took America. Even though the manual and expertise is there to create the wheel, I should say "No", it must take the same time it took to invent it?
It took America 100 years, see where your country is at half-way point?
So because some shyt thinks our shyt smells more funky I should be proud?
Sorry mate, I have a mentality of only proud of being the best I can be, not comparing myself to failures and priding myself that the shyt on my head smells nicer.
Izadibabe: PREMIUM TIMES investigation revealed that after the money was paid to the Federal Government account, it transferred N120 billion ($801 million) to Malabu’s account.
The Attorney General of the Federation, Mohammed Adoke, and Minister of State for Finance, Yerima Ngama, authorized the transfers.
So Jonathan, Adoke and Ngama got $300m from the oil block they help a criminal award himself.
Teespice: so someone cannot say what's on her mind and what I know to be the truth without you lot doubting.
that you have met girls who are crass in attitude, speech and character does not mean there are no reasonable girls out there colour or race not withstanding.
the more reason why I hardly say what's on my mind when it comes to issues of this nature because people like you would be the first to pounce like a lion.
na real wa.
Sagamite: This is probably more likely to be true if you are: - White - Black girl from Southern and Eastern Africa - Black girl that grew up in Europe outside UK - Not so good looking Black girl.
kobonaire: Banking is a subset of Accounting .... Accounting is not just banking. I will not even comment on the rest as the utter ignorance of the the original post is mind boggling ...
Raymondenyi: I'mm really disappointed; a sensible human will make dis kind of comment; I mean its embarrasing, bro; what re u saying? 80k ; to givve u a gun; for u to risk ur life; n u say; the pay is not dat bad? Bro re u sure u really sane? God help us; in what poverty in dis con3 has turned our youths into..