₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Subomi-luv]I am glad you agree with me and you do have a point to an extent, but the same thing happens to woman too. Other women including family and friends will convince a lady not to break up with a guy because he is a good guy, he has done a lot for her perhaps(even the guy expects her not to leave him cos of same reason), they will tell her she would not find a nice guy again etc, the devil you know is better than the angel you dnt know, all men are the same, Men are like this and that etc.

In fact i feel it's worse of for a woman because other woman will be more in favor towards the guy then her(even in cases of cheating or abuse, it's other women convincing her not to leave), then men will start to call her names like a Bitch etc when a woman does what a guy does.

Truth is unfortunately it seems like the good girls end up with the bad guys and the good guys end up with the bad girls. I do not believe a man or a woman should be forced to stay with someone out of pity or because it is the "right thing to do". We have only heard his version and there are two sides to a story. I know it can be very difficult breaking up with someone so you would prefer to rather "act different/change so that the other partner would rather break up with him/her. Like i said before, there was some signs that she showed which he ignored and i do not know the whole story that went down between them so i cant really speak about her. It's kinda funny how most men will shout Feminism and get all aggro about it, but you are getting praised on what you have just said which sounds kind of Misogynistic to a certain degree.[/quote]I disagree with this.

I think that only happens when the girl's clock is ticking. If she is young, people mock the guy that he cannot satisfy her needs. They respect her choice to choose a man that pleases her the most.

In terms of women's advice to other women, of course that is usually bad. If she has an attractive and eligible guy, they would tell her to dump him. If she has an okay guy, they would tell her to hold on tight. If she has a complete arsehole (e.g. beater), they would insult her for staying with him. The last is the only time they are giving her an advice in her best interest and that is because they wouldn't like it happening to them.

Stating FACTS about people can never be Misoghene or anything.

Advice for you: Next time, try and have paragraphs for long write ups. It makes it so much easier and more appealing to read.

[quote author=2s£xy]Lol...[/quote]I love it when women joke about bitterness.

You just wait another 10 - 15 years and see who is bitter and would end up bitter to the grave because their game has come to an end and yours is surprising steady, if not rising.

Then the bitter women change from calling you bitter to calling you a pervert because some 25 year old hot girl in her prime is very happy to split for you, while they are desperate for men of their age group to look at their droopy "teeths".

If you call them bitter then, then they and their mugu real men would say you are not a nice. But are they nice when they have the power?

[quote author=2s£xy]I know who is under that handle missy .

Contrary to what you may think I am hooked already but if she mess up, I will give it to her raw. The only reason that happened in the past was because I was too cool. I ams still cool but I have learned to kick any girl's azz when the need arises.

No more mr nice guy...

I am the crusader

But now, not even a hot chic can get my money...[/quote]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB5C-0sNWwA

jmoore: Can he borrow from you? I don't think his brother will lend him again

I don't give a toss if he is broke or where he gets his money from.

He is the one that broke someone's phone.

He is the one that spent his money frivolously.

Let him go and get the money to correct his actions, that is not the girl's problem.

Next time, if he knows he is liable to being broke, he should not be breaking people's property. Na only Dangote fit dey break phone.

jeffp: I am a young man ..close to 30yrs.. my girlfriend is 23... something hapening last week Saturday ..i want to share..and i need truthful comments.
ever since i got her a BB...my girlfriend has talked to a walking ghost...i talk to her..she damms me...she is easily carried away...chatting with people and friends and reading rubbish especially on linda ikeja blog especially on relationships..and how a man should treat a woman right...All these does nt even bother me.. the new one is that is shouts me down..and frequently walks out on me...All these have been happening for over 4months..i don talk tire..but my girlfriend who believes dat a man and a woman are on the same level has refused to change.

on the 7th of this month...i went to pick her from her house to take her to my place...as i dey drive..she dey press her phone..she was smiling and just talking to her self..i did nt even bother...we got home late that evening...from her house to my house..no word uttered..when we got home..i put off d car..and went to open gate..my madam girfriend was still pressing BB Phone..i put off the car.and started carrying stuffs ..she was still pressing phone..den she came out and held on phone with her hand and was using the other hand to carry stuffs one by one..

i did d best i could and i locked d car doors and i went into d house..becuse of the gate i opened..i was shocked a bit..bcause rain was falling..then, i started looking for dry clothes to wear..she sensed i was angry and she started following me up and down..i just ingorned her...
Then she asked me ..how can some block someone on WHATTAPP ? and i said.."I DONT KNOW".. she just seeing d way i replied her..shouted right in my front "OHHHHHH" and hissed and walked away.. i just stood there amazed.. Bcause stuffs we brought in where still lying on the ground...and she walked to the palour still pressing her phone...i was so pissed.. den after i changed into somethin warm...i walked straight to d palour ..still seeing her pressing phone ohh.. with d annoyance..i asked her.. "GIVE ME DAT PHONE" AND she said NO. and i took d phone and smached it with annoyance on d ground and d screen just scattered.. den she burst cry.. D NEXT DAY WAS HER BIRTHDAY..she said d birthday was cancelled oh..say she nr dey do again..i had to pet her till d next day.she refused..i had to call my uncle who begg her and he agreed ed ..
TO REMIND UNA..na me spend money to do birthday for her ohh..even i had to borrow extra money from my brother to make sure it was cool and beautifull..and i made sure she smiled on dat day..
the next day..she con say ..she needs her phone back working...i was shocked..i told her dat i am broke..i nr get money..that is she not aware that i used all my money to do her birthday..she said that for me to destroy her property..i must take responsibility to fix it..since monday this week..her face has been like a car that was jammed from the back..she talks to me rudley..she even said she wants a break in the relationship ohh.. this is a girl that i have given certain privileges to ..which i will nt disclose here..and even her friends dey envy her..

yesterday she said that she dey watch me since and i have refused to do the phone that i should go and find money to fix it...even if i bought the phone for her..that i should fix it..i told her i should get a smaller phone for her..she said NO.

What should i do.

pls say..

What a stewpid thing to destroy her phone.

And so what if you are broke or you spent money on her birthday? That extricates you from the responsibility of the damage you willfully did?

My friend, go and bloody repair her phone or get her a new one and then end the relationship.

You have no right breaking anyone's phone because they are not making you happy. If she does not want to be with you, she does not want to be with you.

jeffp: I am a young man ..close to 30yrs.. my girlfriend is 23... something hapening last week Saturday ..i want to share..and i need truthful comments.
ever since i got her a BB...my girlfriend has talked to a walking ghost...i talk to her..she damms me...she is easily carried away...chatting with people and friends and reading rubbish especially on linda ikeja blog especially on relationships..and how a man should treat a woman right...All these does nt even bother me.. the new one is that is shouts me down..and frequently walks out on me.......

I have not read the whole write up yet. I got to this point and I knew it was game over.

Homeboy, here is a FACT:

FACT 1 - a woman that does not respect you cannot love you. Period!

Take that to the bank and cash it.

Now here is a point related to that FACT 1:

Point I - A woman that is your girlfriend that does not love you is an unreliable and untrustable liability. She is only there for the benefits, she does not have much to offer you because she would definitely withhold what she has to give from a guy she does not see a future with.

Make I go read the rest.

fr3ddi3: Oga...this is the only part I understand from your philosophical write-up

And please, be eazy with the coaching on your son(remember that witches still exist).

One of the stuff I would teach my son's in my masterclass is briffault's law. The guy has some interesting points I have observed.

BRIFFAULT’S LAW:

"The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place".

Then a guy called Stickman even fine-tuned it more:

There are a few corollaries I would add:

1) Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

2) Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)

3) A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).

Brilliant guys! Awon philosophers bi emi (The philosophers like me).

To summarise Stickman, all those guys that think "I did A, B and C for this babe, so she would be considerate". Sorry, mate, very unlikely. Most women have no contrition like that, it is what you can realistically offer her in future that matters, otherwise she would find levels that looks more promising if yours is not looking promising.

[quote author=2s£xy]but girls tend to respect you when you do the opposite: When you don't call too often, when you don't say sorry too often, when you don't say 'I love you' too often, but minimally, when you don't seem to be so crazy about them(you may act like you are initially), when you act like she isn't the only thing you think about but there are more important issues to iron out...

Most of the guys who fall victims are those who show a girl 100% of attention, love and care and are too gentle. But once you scold her aggressively not to play on your intellingence, she would get the sense that you are a no-nonsense guy. Never be too soft but be hard as steel man.[/quote]Very well said.

I would teach my sons this.

I would tell them the only time women appreciate all these overload nicety rubbish is only when they have very little options and their game is in injury time.

That is, only do all that nicety rubbish with a woman when they are old or when they are married to you and have like 2 kids for you. Then if you do these niceties to them, they would see you as Gold because they don't believe another man would do that to them.

As I said, I would teach my kids how to relate with women based on their age range/life stage. Women of different ages value different things based on their inherent desire to satisfy their self-interest.

Go and show a fine, hot girl that every nigga would eat his own balls to date all these niceties and that you care about her and see how quickly you would be sacked.

[quote author=sh@dow-w@lker]Coach, you really made sense with this statement. That's kind of what actually happened to me.

I was dating a girl sometime ago, the relationship was smooth until she started acting funny. I tried to find out what the issue was and resolve it but she stood her ground and still kept acting up. At a point she became very annoying, aggressive and irritating with her attitude that I quietly bounced out of the relationship.

Later on, she rubbished my image to people I know just because she tried coming back and I refused and I got close to a girl who was digging me(on platonic level)not knowing she was a friend to my ex.

Girls around me started looking at me as a player.

Few of my male friends saw me as a Bad guy.

Even my Momma would ask after my ex(since I already brought her home during the relationship), and she would give me "the look" for an unserious fellow.

I was at the receiving end, that's why I stayed out of relationships ever since.[/quote]"At a point she became very annoying, aggressive and irritating with her attitude" - That is a girl that wants you to break up with her so she does not have to do the hard job of breaking up and she can go around saying you are the one that ended it. She has no problem going around saying that because, culturally, there is little shame in a women getting dumped because she is seen as a victim of a "bad man", while if a guy gets dumped, it implies he does not have game. She was playing her card manipulatively. She knew what she was doing from the word Go and she has no contrition about it because women always tend to think of No 1: "Me, me, me".

She felt she could do better elsewhere and it has little to no risk; and when a woman feels/realises that (i.e. no risk, do better), they have no pity o. They are ruthless in that respect and have no contrition doing what is best for themselves. They are D-U-N done. All she has to do is to 'manage the PR', she did that by making you do the break up.

"Later on, she rubbished my image to people I know just because she tried coming back and I refused and I got close to a girl who was digging me" - That is the selfishness and ego coming into play. She wanted you to moan her for sometime so she can feel like gold, not for you to have the audacity to just move on to the next. If you did not find another girl, I can guarantee you that she would have called you and (insultingly in my view) asked you to be friends. That is just another way to exploit you. That makes her publicly look cordial, convivial and mature, and also so she can leave you hanging just in case she was wrong about greener pastures. Many mumu guys fall for this.

"Girls around me started looking at me as a player." - Collective propagation of self-interest. They want to shape you into a real man. A cretinous product that would proudly advocate the best interest of women over his own interest.

"Few of my male friends saw me as a Bad guy." - Mugu real men that you really need to ignore like the mugus they are.

"Even my Momma would ask after my ex(since I already brought her home during the relationship), and she would give me "the look" for an unserious fellow." - Unfortunately she seems heavily invested in the Collective propagation of self-interest process to the point she is not aware she is developing interest of women-folk over her sons. Maybe she has the mentality of "a man has so much advantage, I don't need to help them. Not even my own dear son, he would be fine in the end. We women need all the ojoro we can get".

panafrican: Nonsense, how about this is bad of a female to run her mouth on a male as she did?
Now she understands that man was appointed by God to lead.

The professional person is here.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]It's a damn shame but it's life. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine but the guy actually changed his number and relocated so she was just left with nothing. It sucks and hurts a lot but good riddance to bad rubbish. That girl was not meant for him and she was obviously using him until she found a better guy. Not all girls are like this. I am very straightforward and don't have time for silly games so would tell the guy if am not interested anymore. Sometimes no matter how much you "invest in someone or "love" someone it does not mean that you will end up with the person for life. If she loved him and wanted to be with him then she would not have done what she did. I believe there must have been some signs that he just overlook/brushed away.[/quote]I agree with everything you say.

What irritates me is when a guy is not interested in a girl anymore and other women (EVEN HIS OWN SISTERS) and their lap-dog real men mugus come and start harassing him like if he was evil and basically demanding he explains himself. Then they will now respond with "Oh you used her", "You are not a nice person", "You did not understand her", "You will regret it, she is a nice girl", "you were the on that was wrong" etc exception is in extreme cases where the guy can prove she cheated. These women and the mugu real men think only women should have the option of dumping someone because they are simply not interested anymore or they are bored of her.

It is what I called collective propagation of self-interest. This is something I would teach my sons about women.

Never listen to women's (especially non-consanguineous ones') opinions about relationships. They are rarely objective. They would tell you what they think would help the women-folk in the long-run, i.e. collective propagation of self-interest, and say it with so much conviction even if it is not true.

Collective propagation of self-interest works in a way whereby if enough women can do their bit in convincing any man that comes their way to, for example, think in such a way of putting women's interest above his own interests but women don't have to think vice-versa, then in general, many women would benefit from indirect sources (i.e. not necessarily the direct men they brainwashed). E.g. convincing men that a real man would do blah blah blah and then enough men starts doing blah blah blah.

Women are subconsciously proficient in this technique. They are champions if you are not a nigga clued on to it.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]Firstly men do the exact same thing too. They also act funny etc so it's not just limited to women. Secondly it depends on the type of girl you are dating. Some are straightforward but maybe she does not know how to break it down or tell you. Also there are times when you may tell the guy but yet he still won't get it or accept it then starts begging etc. I believe actions speaks louder than words. If you still dn't get it then by her actions, then I'm sorry but that's your own ish. My advice if this is what you are experiencing. Sit her down and talk to her about it, if she denies or still does not change then you best be on your way.[/quote]You opinion is not a problem as long as you don't mind the same treatment given to you.

[quote author=2s£xy]https://www.nairaland.com/1375428/heartless-girl

OP, here an example. They do it all the time.[/quote]The guy got played by a girl that knows she has not invested much so she can dump the product/asset.

It is important to only ever take a girl seriously when she is heavily invested. And the minute you see she is divesting, dump majority of the shares and buy another set of shares.

stillwater: Hehehe, we are daughters of Eve for a reason. Whoever owns the coo.chie rules the day, pays the piper and dictates the tune. Look at how you are even going crazy on that pageant thread, lmao.

If you are well coached to understand how to get to the coochie you will dictate the tune. This is how the girls in the pageant will end up.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uWZVVNYkUM

Wu Zetian: Look @ these losers trying to live vicariously through their children

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SK3y1a8TYs

[quote author=Royal^Pearl^]People should give South Sudan a break. She is not the most beautiful but she is not ugly.[/quote]Definitely not ugly.

stillwater: Sagamite, the battle line has been drawn.
I will gather my own young girls and tell them the unnecessary braggadocio in a man is directly proportional to how much he's dying to get your attention.

Thou shalt not fall for such nonsense but laugh at his face as their mother or aunty Stillwater did in her time.

Hmmm! You really don't know anything.

A whole me, Sagamite, is saying he would create a special training session and you think you can thwart it.

Girl, lock up your daughters when you hear my sons have turned 18. You should all cower in a room and start praying and speaking in tongues as they swag along the street because these boys will be international smackers.

Here is how my sons' 21st birthday house parties would be:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYXlK-Dktnk

Awesome!

[quote author=2s£xy]My take is: Never take any girl serious until it seem she is REALLY interested in you.

Don't give her what you can't afford to lose, even if she ask for it at death point!

Give what you know you can afford to give a fellow guy like you who is in need; in other words treat her as equal as a fellow dude. After all, we are all humans; non is above the other.[/quote]Some lunatic girls would complain about you wanting to sleep with them on first date "without knowing them enough" but the same girls are ones that want you to move earth and heaven for them on first date "without knowing them enough".

As I said about my life philosophy here:

https://www.nairaland.com/1083598/knowing-nairalanders-better-interviews/1#12945175

- Don’t chase women; if she is not interested, waka pass.
- If a girl does not feel privileged to date you, then don’t date her.
- Think of your interest because it is unlikely she is going to except it adds to hers.
- If you are at a Naija outing, take as many girls number as you can get (discretely of course), not just one; you never know which would be a shythead that smiles with you but not pick up your calls hence wasting all your effort and targeting.
- Don’t take all the risk in building a relationship the way women coach foools to do; women normally have no contrition when they decide to use it against you.
- Treat people the way they deserve to be treated.
- Treat a classy lady special and give her a lot of complements.
- Focus your best for classy ladies.
- And you stand a better chance of ending with something good.

Me, I study every girl individually and give her what she deserves.

jay bee: I hope you will also advice them to use "rubber" at all times else na to become grandpa at 40

Of course, who wants im pikin to get Adisa!

Sybellah: Latinas, with El Salvador, Mexico and Columbia

South Africa is the ish!

El Salvador and Columbia look like twins.

[quote author=sh@dow-w@lker]@Sagamite: Bruv I get your point 100%. I wish I had a coach like you during my turn of heartbreak, but its over now. I just decided to stay clear from relationships. But na my friends need this piece of info, because I don't know what to tell them.[/quote]Once my sons are 18, I am going to tell them to call a maximum of 5 of their closest friends to all report to my house and I would give them a 3-day, four-hours-a-day masterclass on how to relate, treat and deal with girls.

I would give them the inner secrets on what women are like and are looking for based on things that includes the girls' looks, culture, age range/life stage (15-18, 18-24 etc), initial interest in a guy and what the guy has to offer. My masterclass would be full of charts and psychological tools.

One of the most important sessions is the one on hot girls (i.e. based on looks). They would learn young hot girls don't like good boys and I would teach them how to be the type of guy young hot girls want and how to smack the shyt out of these girls. They must learn the when to "Stop giving a shyt at the right moment!" approaches to different types of girls, so they never lose out.

I would have studied all the boys' personalities and body language before the masterclass, so on the first day, I would be handing them a short self-profile telling them the most likely outcome of their interaction with babes (just to blow their mind because they will be like "this is fcking true; this is how girls have been treating me" and then on the last day, I would tell them what they need to change in their approach to women to always get what they want.

Give them 3 to 6 months to go explore my advice and test my tools and then come and reply back to me how the life coaching has worked and what else they want to learn deeper.

Sybellah: HOT!

There is something about CIV that makes her a heartwarmer.

Just seeing her face in pix gives one an involuntary warm feeling in the heart because of the awe of her beauty.

Sybellah: I understand why [size=2pt]see muscles chei[/size]
may I ask u if it's not too indiscreet, what is yourhis workout regiment?

The same diet my babalawo (i.e. shaman/medicine doctor) recommended:

Morning - Garri & kulikuli

Afternoon - Eba (i.e. Garri suffused with delicate whiff of hot water) eaten with brokortor meat (i.e. cow hide and foot)

Tea-time - Garri cake for tea

Dinner - Garri with runny beans

https://www.nairaland.com/970742/marriage-does-length-courtship-matter/6#11386732

Good Girl: ...... and they will leave their 'jobs' to stand by the road-side to sing praise songs for the thug and wave at him as he passes by with their mouths agape because of the 'power' they imagine the goon possesses. They will applaud his wealth and his numerous navy blue/black cars as that which "belongs to their community". The same fellows do not even know what it means to have one decent meal per day (let alone 3), but will brag about how wealthy their community is. Lmao.....!! Same story all over SSA.

Individual achievements for fucktards is always by association.

E.g. "We Yorubas did this", not "I did this".

I highlighted that idiocy here:

"https://www.nairaland.com/1083598/knowing-nairalanders-better-interviews/1#12945175

Under "Most striking thing about your personality:" Open-minded.

And these fucktards would defend tooth and nail, under the banner "our own", the corrupt people destroying their lives.

https://www.nairaland.com/1383611/james-iboris-55th-birthday-celebrated/4#17233943

https://www.nairaland.com/1383611/james-iboris-55th-birthday-celebrated/4#17235347

And when one calls them fucktards, they would be boiling like if it is an insult.

didicold: I have always been a blunt person, even in my relationships and it has always gotten me in trouble,no matter how we demand it, humans rarely want d honest truth in a straightfoward manner, ican't tell u how many guys av called me "mean" simply because if i want a break,i come straight out and say so ,or if i dont want to date u i wont beat around d bush,even when i try if u ask me to be straightforward ,i'll say it den d same person will tell me"u r such a meanie". My sisters if beating around d bush defuses a potentially explosive situation, abeg beat till thy kingdom come.

You are right.

That is why I don't advocate men be honest as well.

I believe everyone should always do what is in their best interest with limited consideration so it is a level playing field.

Youngtekkey, dem don dey do census of those of you that did not go to kindergarten but attended kindergateen where dem destroy dem lives.

https://www.nairaland.com/1434273/35m-nigerian-adults-illiterates-wike

Good Girl: Because we have insensible people who vote for thugs for the simple reason that they share ethnicities and ancestral homes.

.....and they are moneybags (irrespective of how they made the money) because fucktards always think what is in your bank account is the measure of intelligence.

Monicasque: maybe its because some people r just scared of openly hurting others. I don't know what to say to this but guys also sometimes have bad ways of ending relationships. sometimes more hurtful like just stringing u along then u find out that tomorrow he is marrying someone else. Its just how life is. I have also noticed that the very same heart breaker feels like dying when she now sees the guy with a new lady especially if the lady is better than her

Nelly moment: "She's right you know. Shheee's right!"

homesteady: After reading this story, you'll understand why they have such attitude
www.nairaland.com/1298161/man-bathes-girlfriend-acid

That is rubbish.

Exceptions are not grounds for generalisation.

Ms Ghana has a look that can make a nigga put a ring on it.

Scarily hot girl! Makes a man wanna kiss.