₦airaland Forum

Richfella: Lol. That is good.

But girls are not really the 'enemy' here.

That same girl will be all nice and sweet to some other dude - who is even exactly like the OP or 'worse'. But with more self-respect.

It's easy to get all pissed and stuff at the way girls behave, but most times they are just responding to us. They are just being girls.

First of all, I never said girls are the 'enemy'.

Secondly, I am not pissed. I just like to express my enlighten-ness. If I am pissed, I am more pissed with person "real men" that open their mouth and spill their training, not with the women.

Thirdly, I am just responding to them too. I am just being an Alpha Male. If any girl steps the wrong way because I show her a friendly side, I will gladly knock her back into line. If they moan, I would tell them to "shut up".

As for OP, the next move to bite her, if I were you, is to pay attention or even get close to one of her friends.

Try and pick her friend that has the most of these qualities:

- Is single.
- Finer than her especially with a terrific asset the ex does not have e.g. double-D melons, Toolz hips, Serena bum.
- You already get along very well with this friend.
- Has better manners.
- They do not get along that well, especially one she (the ex) used to b1tch behind her back.

What I mean by get close or pay attention is to start communicating and even hanging (if possible), NOT CHATTING UP, one of her friends.

I emphasis not chatting up because you don't want the friend to feel uncomfortable or even say "No" and you look pathetic.

Just a few calls like "Hey, how are you. I just said I should say Hi". Chat about random things. Invite her to parties your buddies are organising even if she would say she can't come. If she is coming, don't go together and don't hang with her all night at the party, just a few times. Call her on her birthday to wish her happy birthday. Speak to her for about an hour during seasonal holidays like Xmas.

If you are just showing friendliness, care and civility, she would:

- Not feel too uncomfortable.
- Enjoy the attention and indirect win over another female but still have grounds to argue and deny she is a boyfriend snatcher.
- She would feel comfortable telling all the girls in their circle.

Let this rude cun* Ex know she is forgotten and secondly let her feel that, while her head was swelling you loved her like mad, your mind and eyes were probably on her friend. She would not even have one platform to go and boast to her friends.

jay bee: Don't go toasting her oh, Mr smooth talker

chaircover: Dont worry, those his badt wives in the family section will kill him. I trust Jenny & efe

They will have saga -etti and chicken[b] -mite [/b] for dinner . . . .very tasty I heard

I am way toooooooo principled to exploit such a situation.

It is a serious issue and I have in the last few years taken a deep interest in psychology to enhance my career/life/relationship/nurturing performance, so I am sure I have some knowledge and the deep intellect to address many of the issues that might be bothering her.

And don't forget, I am the most confident person on Earth. That helps with feeling of hopelessness.

My work and career focuses on understanding an ideal vision and understanding drivers that determine your capability of getting there. That is how I plan to work with her.

Knowledge, intellect and confidence should surely add to helping her and inspiring her.

Nah. I would never exploit someone's vulnerability. Not my style and against my principles.

[quote author=nadia_SA]can we talk offline think its better there..

Lotsa probs I hve[/quote]Cool. I will be happy to.

I will PM you.

zeb04: Jst like max said dis article is jst 2 make men feel gud abt themselve. Bt gals anyways dey kip havin fun even after 23 nd then they start complanin. Altho I dnt fancy al dis r/ship ish bt Iknw am suppose 2 start tinkin straight wen I am probably 23,24

Smart girl.

Kirinwa: As a caring nairalander,my advice to our single sisters is treat any man who approaches you nicely and respectfully.
Guys can you imagine approaching a lady to say hi and she's looking at you like you're ALIEN!Jeez.Some of them are architects of their own misfortune.I have discovered most times ladies hang out with playboys and sacrifice the future for a few meatpies or fried chicken while ignoring more serious guys who they consider boring without even giving them a chance.

Yep. Confirmed you have encountered Naija girls before.

It is important to always have your guard up when you meet one if you have any self respect.

Or, better still, if you have options, avoid them as best as you can.

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]We degrade ladies that've decided to dorn the 'agbero' personality, ladies that tend to capitalize on the fact that u two are dating so she's got her problems prolly solved, ladies that only look forward to having their ar$es clamped to a housewife position other than been identified as a Msc holder - We degrade them!

Speaking of things we've been exposed to, what could they be?[/color]

What is wrong with being a housewife?

Why does the quality of a woman rest on her having a degree, even more ridiculously an MSc?

meine: @ Sagamite

Some of your conclusions are wrong even though i respect some of your views.

Have you ever asked if our parents courted for donkey years before marriage? Yet the divorce rate was low. Men simply ask the brides father to give their daughters to nurture! In those days people knew their responsibilities and their priorities were well defined. Girls knew how to keep their legs together,men knew they must take care of their wives. NO games. Most wives grew to love the man they married and they are still together till date.

Nope, homie! You are wrong.

The reasons divorce rates are low amongst our parents despite short courtships are mainly:

1) Most women accepted men would cheat and a typical woman tolerated it as long as he does not flash it in her face. Just come home, don't marry the other woman and make sure you take care of your primary kids.

2) Most women were not financially independent enough to leave. They were generally less educated than the men and they had poorer paying jobs due to the sexist nature of the society.

3) Societal and cultural pressures were high on the women and sufficient enough to force most of them to accept "that is what men do". A woman leaving would have even her own mother dragging her back to her married home as long as there is no evidence of him beating her too much, if he is beating her a bit then it is obviously her fault in such African cultural perspective.

The women stayed. The men were happy to stay in the marriage because they were having their moi-moi and eating it.

So, mate, marriage longevity is not evidence of marriage success.

meine: When 2 adults who know what they want meet,length of courtship doesn't matter. What works for MR A may not work for MR B. Overall, Integrity,flexibility and giving are the keys to success in marriage. Age also has a role to play in courtship, a guy who wants to date a 30 year old girl for 1 year before making up his mind to marry her isn't doing the girl any good,within one month a smart guy will know whether she is good for him or not no matter how she pretends. And for starters a marriage material wont even pretend,so there goes your first clue! If she is below 25 in fact you can court her for 5 years like sagamite holy book says.

This is utter rubbish!

You will never know anyone in one month, worse still be able to delineate between who is genuine and pretending ESPECIALLY when it comes to a woman over the big 3-0 desperately searching for husband.

NO WAY IN HELL would you get to know her well in 1 month. Not even if you are both jobless and co-habiting.

Of course it is not doing the girl any good but it is not doing the guy any good not assessing what he is committing his life to well.

From the above line guess whom's of the 2 contradicting benefit concerns me most?

Yeah, the guy because that is MY benefit. Let her handle hers.

emk4lif: Mine is somewhat complicated, I'm in my late teens and an engineering student..always been a high flyer academically in high school and not doing so badly in the university, I hold no religious belief and my views border on atheism..I've been struggling with depression for over two years and I've considered suicide at times....life just feels so empty most times to me and I struggle daily to find a meaning to everything,I also feel like I could be doing so much more with my inherent potential, this coupled with the challenges of being a nerdy introvert teenager with few friends and eccentric thoughts leave me with just a bleak outlook of life....I spend a lot of time alone and I believe that no one really understands me..my parents are too religious and emotionally distant for me to share my fears with them....no matter how I try to deal with it, I always relapse back...I just feel lost and I just wonder whether if I just end it all,maybe I'll just find that elusive peace.it might seem cowardly and sound like overkill but the despair I feel daily, the depths of loneliness,fear and self-loathing I go through daily just drives me crazy
actually wanted to open a thread on it before I came across this

I am 100% sure I can source out what the issues are based on your write up.

I take it you live in Nigeria, a solution is to continue working hard academically and then move abroad to further your studies. From there, things would "get better" for you.

[quote author=nadia_SA]@bolded that's y its very hard for people to tell that I'm not happy coz of this face I try to put up for everyone, hoping that one day things will change for the better..

But its not I don't understand y this is happening to me ..

I hear u..[/quote]If I may ask:

What do you regard as "better"?

Describe a set of things you will like to see changed that, if those changes happen, you will regard your life as better.

What are the things that will make you happy?

Wu Zetian: I need to eat y'all.....Just keep it going. I'll be back kiddos!

Okay, wild dog. Go and scavenge through the local bins.

When you come back, you will tell us if NL is a radio station.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]You are so full of assumptions. Who told you that am single? Who said i am living in Nigeria? Not every girl is dying to get married and like i said, that is not a problem so you dn't need to worry yourself about that. Lol @ when i grow up [/quote]It doesn't make a difference if you are single or not.

Nothing is permanent.

When NEPA takes power (and it would be taken) and your man then (it might not even be this one) decides to go for solar power (modern and youthful technology) then you will understand who really has the power to mock and what bitterness really is.

So, sweetie, it is not men that are bitter o. They have the better prospect and are in a better position to mock and WILL mock last.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]Lmfao your comment alone shows you know nothing about me. I am not some bum sitting at home looking for some rich old Maga. Am educated and working and i dnt give a rats ass what my "Neighbour" or whoever does whatever. So pls spare me all those stories.[/quote]You obviously missed the point!

When you grow up, you will get secret lectures from older spinsters telling you "it is lonely and all they want is a man".

You know I am not a "real man", so I don't fall for that fake front "I don't need a man. I love being single".

No worry sha. They are many pastors in Nigeria that will offer solution if you part with part of your cash.

[quote author=Subomi-luv]To each their own. This advise is for real men and not teenagers. Being all aggro and bitter and making a scene is childish and weak. It shows that he is petty and bitter.Maybe your way works with hooligans in Peckham.[/quote]Ah, good.

Go and give that lecture for you real men. I am not and have never been such a mugu. My level is above that.

I can guarantee you you will know what bitterness really is by the time you hit your late 30s.

No be men dey dey bitter. The world is our oyster once we know how to stick the middle finger to your stewpid "rules of engagement/decency" and don't fall for your "Real Man" crap.

I am the Ultimate man, not a real man.