₦airaland Forum

victorian: GOD BLESS YOU...... What have noticed in this thread, simply shows the men saying all these bad words, are :
Bitter about their own single status, cause they can't afford to take care of themselves , talkless of a home and are already clocking 35!
They are Frustrated, so they heap blame onto the women.
Extremely envious cause Women are doing well in their chosen fields of career
The lists goes on..
Bicker for all we care... God is the author of our destiny... No man, I mean no man, no matter how bitter and lazy he is, can stop women from 30+ in getting married.. Right now, am in a church cathedral in attendance to , a big wedding of one of my female frnds, age 35, getting married to a 38yrs successful guy, who resides abroad but came home to marry.. Haters Eat Yur heart out!

This is so funny when the paradox of desire in it is considered.

Someone is ridiculing the freely-acquired and desired status choice of people she is praying to God to desire her and help her be happy by choosing to change this freely-acquired and desired status. While at the same time celebrating the achievement of an acquaintance who has achieved success in changing this freely-acquired and desired status.

Women and illogical assertions are like twins.

9lifes: Naija men are saints and angels..they are talking as if they don't have mothers and sisters.So much bitterness in this thread,and they will still end up with Naija babes,even the ones living outside naija.

I dont mind if a woman wants to marry me because of my wealth,but she must definitely meet my own expectations..who wants to marry a liability anyways.

If she is nice they expect her to put up with cheating,if she is a virgin,she is not experience enof to satisfy me in bed-he now has a concrete reason to cheat.If she cheats all hell breaks loose because she is a woman..for men it is normal.If you marry a poor man you were desperate because of age,and If you marry a rich guy you were desperate because of his wealth,all this wahala na for woman wey from Nigeria-and the useless list goes on and on.

Guys please,this generalization is dangerous,whether we admit or not it's affecting our psych and the way we see naija women,and with this behavior even when you see an angel you may never recognized her-in most cases these complainers almost always end up with the wrong women.

If you want a perfect partner make sure you are one,and if you are one and you were cheated on, move on and stop being bitter-men cheat,women cheat,its a normal thing.the economy is bad,it is a NATURAL THING to look for the best option or partner,its written all over nature,nobody wants to marry someone with no prospect,sorry its painful,but failure has no friend,that's the bitter truth,naija men learn to live with that,its natural.

Are Naija men complaining to you about their life?

Why your rants?

Who needs to learn to live with what is natural?

Miss Ope: Another Major reason dat is responsible for high level of 30+ single ladies in Nigeria is this - CURSE/ BEING UNLUCKY
I have a friend who's been decent right from teens ,she was always openminded and cheerful amongst other qualities... But the issue is she rarely gets a guy to ask her out...talkless of talking of marriage ...how can such a girl deal with dis fatal issue?

Stop telling us about your ugly friends.

Men don't go for character alone, that is why no man asks her out.

[quote author=paul_khalifa]But you can't blame them too no one will see a man with a range rover and marry someone with a bicycle think about it[/quote]Fair enough.

As long as you are willing to bare both the risk and reward and not blame other people if your strategy does not achieve you goal.

CAMEROONPRIDE: one cause: NIGERIAN WAY OF LIFE. MATERIALISM , YOUR MATERIALISTIC SOCIETY IS THE CAUSE OF ALL THAT

That is good.

We need to control the population anyway. If some women reach menopause without getting a chance to have many kids, the better for the population explosion we face.

Although our rabbit-producing northern citizens have to be controlled too.

CAMEROONPRIDE: marriage is useless, a woman/wife won't add anything good to my life.
Like I said I washed my hands.
@ Deols seriously why did u ban me? Hiding my posts wasn't enough?

Most modern day women in the UK add nothing to your life, don't know how to add something to your life and don't aim to add something to your life.

They think you should add something to their life just because they are a woman. They think that is some sacred value especially when they have kids.

The press here has deceived them about their value to a man.

Then you hear some cretins (including mugu real men) say she should take all your money because she married you and had kids for you.

SniperInADiaper: To help men cos men suck on their own.

But the men don't want you.

MOELLIOTT: Long one - but no short way of saying it! It is not an issue peculiar to Nigeria. It is worldwide.

I haven't read all the thread, but I read one that said something about family and home training. It is not exclusively so and more a misconception. There are now many many decent, well raised, "untouched" ladies who are still single.

A few points to note - the population/demography is such that more women than men are born. Men are increasingly marrying much later in life, which implies more women are going to be left waiting. When the man in his early 30's finally decides to marry, he is likely to go for a woman in her mid to late 20's. This means he has passed or reached down, leaving an age band in between. Conversely, if a man were marrying in his mid 20's, he'll most likely marry someone only a few years younger. If he were marrying in his 30's, the scope he can chose from becomes wider - for some anything from 20-30 years - implying he has more women to pick from. For the woman, it means even "mathematically" the probabilities are stacked higher against her.

For as long as more women are being born, and men delay marrying it would continue to remain a challenge.

One mature matching website said for every man they have, they have over 10 women. For age 40's, the statistics are even worse than 30's. Women generally outlive men, so right into later life, there would be more single women either never married, divorced, widowed, etc!

This issue of female singlehood can be less an issue in societies were polygamy and female infanticide (killing of female children or foetuses)is practised.

Is there a general solution? Maybe not. Except the gender imbalance is redressed through more male/less female childen being born. If that were to happen, it still takes a few decades for the new births to grow too. So realistically, not an immediate answer. But on an individual basis, one can seek to encourage young women to marry earlier than male counterparts, so they don't find the pool of men they can chose from is less in size. For the older ones who are still hopeful, be realistic and review your criteria. There is less and less to pick from.

Wrong!

There are more males than females at birth and at first marriage age-range (18 to 40).

[quote author=12 inches!]Even Tiwa savage as pretty as she must have been when she was younger, age is beginning to tell on her face. I always new the babe was quite old despite the make up and hip dressing. It's not about the make up and dressing. There just exist a perceived awareness that he lady in question is passing a prime stage. I can't explain it.[/quote]Although I disagree, that is by the way, so wetin you want make she do about face?

The girl is doing what a girl gotta do by retaining nice figure and she is desirably sassy.

Nairarealman: Seriously son u need to grow up DANG

You are a person and that would not be too hard for me to prove soon.

Nairarealman: I know u one on one so go ahead playing chicken shit., no thanks to ur ND Certf (BUSTED

English? You struggle with it?

Nairarealman: Write .. Seun is yet to add voice tags loucy prick Mr know it all lmao

Is this in Ijesha?

[quote author=Yoruba_Omoge]Sagamite, stop teasing me with that ikebe.

ko daa o[/quote]Platinum-solid ikebe.

Hard and firm like the Golden Gate Bridge twin suspenders.

Nairarealman: Childish ! Boyish ! You and Cameroon whateva danG cuz even gangsters wanna b husbands nd daddy/ father playing roles check notorious Biggie lyrics nd real men around ya both #nohardfeeln

Can you even speak English?

[quote author=Yoruba_Omoge]Gbammmmm!!!!

Nigerian men dont age well at all chaiiii.

Let me comment my reserve.[/quote]I am 58 this year, look at my body.

2buff: Guy you have been stroked. check a couple posts back.

The thread, homie. Trying to keep the thread interesting.

There are enough opportunities to be Sagamite another time.

It is too easy.

CAMEROONPRIDE: Women=wahala. I will work and eat my money alone, I know how to cook,clean etc I don't need a wife. a Sex buddy at sometime will do it. BTW when you work you most likely don't need sex..

Very good alternative, nigga. I don't blame you.

Very good alternative.

bomly: Gender is not a true predictor of Behaviour. Both male and female behave in bad and good ways depending on your views of what is bad and good.

Who said gender was a true [or even false] predictor of behaviour?

Where was it said?

Nairarealman: FAT ! Real men are cacomorphobic nd seriously if u dnt want end up cheating on ur wife dnt get carried away by big boobs nd large butt is only cul for sight seeing. Alot of challenges comes with fat women they eat alot, get tired easily, not smart, diffcuilt to engage, slow, hardly contribute, boring not to mention sexual nd health issues

Really?

Just like Ngozi Okonjo Iweala?

Or Anne Widdecombe?

Or Diane Abbott?

obadiah777: ITS AN ACQUIRED TASTE BRUV

I would stick with instant good taste in my bitter leaf soup.

bomly: Okay thanks for being very reasonable ( one cup of ice cream for you ), My apologies if you took it that I referred to your parents, I never did. I was just trying to say I do not think it's a world of one against the other. A man and a woman compliment themselves, one is not complete without the other in the context of reproducing and some other phenomenon in life, however in our today's society different thing happens and all this are factors of change. When people speak down on women it only means four thing to me;
1) Your father never appreciated your mother as a companion

2) You do not appreciate your sister, wife, cousin, niece , aunt as a part of your life

3) You have grown in a society where women are been dehumanize

4) You do not appreciate God effort in creating a woman

In regard to the post; Marriage is not a yardstick to the best of life and you don't have to put an age tag, this only gets more women confused and reduce their self esteemed mostly those whom have not been able to take a stand on what choices they should make, like I earlier post this is more of a personal issue.

And there is nowhere in your thinking that said:

5) You grew up in an area where majority of women are badly behaved and have no manners?

Your opinions would hardly be respected if you cannot be objective, logical and unbias in you statements.

paris10: @sagamite, do you want me to say you should go back to school or something? I never asked her what she meant by "less" and neither did I jumped into any conclusion. My statement was an exaggeration used as a rhetorical device to evoke my strong feelings of the subject in order to create a strong impression of my opinion.

You could have made your statement completely independently without quoting her and still have the impact you intended. No need saying "you guess that is what she meant".

obadiah777: THATS WHY I TOLD THEM TO DITCH THE GBEGIRI AND OFE ONUGBU AND AMALA, BRUV THESE WOMEN GOTTA START CHOMPING ON CELERY AND CARROTS FOR LUNCH

I don't wish such suffering on anyone.

Abeg make them eat their gbegiri and ofe onugbu but in less quantity and be a bit more mobile.

Celery and carrots? Life of misery!

obadiah777: ALL BULLSHYTTT. IF A LADY IS HOT ENOUGH, DOES NOT MATTER HOW BAD HER ATTITUDE IS OR HOW OLD SHE IS ( DIDNT HALLE BERRY AND JENNIFER ANNISTON GET MARRIED IN THEIR FORTIES ? ), SHE WILL ALWAYS FIND A MAN. YES I KNOW ITS UNFAIR BUT MEN ARE CARNAL BRUTE BEASTS. IF YOU ARE HOT, DOES NOT MATTER YOUR AGE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET SUITORS. HOWEVER AFRICAN FOOD IS NOT GOOD ON A LADY SO MAYBE MANY AFRICAN LADIES AT 30 LOOK LIKE THE MICHELIN MAN HENCE WHY NO SUITORS HEY ITS A BRUTAL WORLD. YOU GOTTA SACRIFICE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. YOU CANT HAVE IT ALL. DITCH THE AFRICAN FOOD AND TRY TAEBO, YOU MAY JUST GET A MAN AT 40

Obviously.

But how many women are like Halle or even Tiwa Savage in their 30s.

paris10: I guess your "don't settle for less" means they shouldn't marry an average brother, instead you're insinuating they go for the ready-made brothers. There you have it...more reason why they will still be single until they reach menopause.

No one wants to endure and suffer with Chukwudi these days, everyone want Oga Festus who is a self-made millionaire. Oga Festus is no mugu and would only play and shop you. Oga Festus already has a family somewhere. Chukwudi is single, hardworking and not doing bad, stick with him and plan your life with him. Diamond isn't available on every street, and doesn't grow in a comfortable garden. It's right there in the bottom of the sea, dangerously hidden from you, and only the brave dare dive for it.

Out of the lion comes honey, out of the black pot comes pap. Ladies, be vigilant, wise and careful of your so-called pastors who would advise you against your desire of marrying that brother. Church is also part of this problem. They make these girls wait too long.

I really can't get my head round how people like you jump into this conclusion confidently?

Is it rocket science to ask her what she meant by "less"?

That is just shocking!

seyibrown: Decent men are scarce in Nigeria! The thought of a life with a man who sleeps with anything that moves is enough to put any sensible lady off marriage to them. Majority of Nigerian men have no idea what loving, honouring and respecting their spouse is.

Marriage is wonderful but not compulsory. One does not need to marry someone who would make their life a hell just to save face within society. Many women (and men) are dead today because of the person they married. It is wisdom to wait for a quality partner (and be happy as a single person while waiting); It is folly to rush into marriage and later regret.

bomly: When did being single at 30 become sin? or become a thing of immoral? Naija we don start again with our one sided mindset. There is sure possibility that some may not even want to get married or are trying to face other more important life issues, however this is seen I really think this is more an individual issue.

Well said!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1008441_Engagement__jpg991a249a1662bd4c8c70bf9f74fd0d37

Is this real or a joke?

DailyNews: Y I most times feel like blaming ladies for their relationship failures is this:

Come on, let's face the reality here, women are the recruitment officers here for Christ's sake. They sit n guys send in their cvs from diff class and background n they screen n hire the one that suites them most. But guys have to keep submitting cvs in diff firms; both in their dream firms n in the ones they dnt even like just to get hired at least. And most often guys get hired by firms (girls) they dnt really cherish cos d ones they probably cherish have high demands of- 10yrs cognate experience, dis degree n dat, etc, which majority of guys dnt even have n some even go as far as faking certificates n personality just to get hired, can't u see?

Pity men pls...they only time men have d 80 to 90% power to decide their romantic fate is wen its time to marry. So ladies shud stop complainin that guys are bad cos they select the guys they decided to date after screening out so many other guys, so y shud they complain?

I know my logic may not be 100% right but women enjoy a lot of immunity on this, so let them use it wisely n save themselves all these heartbreaks, being jilted, dumping, etc.

Sometimes I wonder- if I were a female, men wud have fought n even compete to marry me. And I mean wonderful men cos even as a male, I am on top of my game yes...so y shud a lady be single at 35yrs no committed stuff? Something must be wrong somewhere, let's be honest. Sorry to sound harsh, but let her look within her, sth isn't ryt, aside situation of death of her fiancee, etc.

So beautifully said.

DailyNews: that's funny, but I doubt that wud stop a man from marrying a woman that truly meets his needs. Most guys wudnt mind paying a million if the lady worths it, I'm sure of that.

You are on your own on that, bruv.

I aint going broke for no woman. She would never be worth it.

Worse still going broke for dowry, you rebuild it up and then she takes half after divorce.

Hell No!

DailyNews: Meanwhile, we all shud knw d boundary we have set around us. For instance, I knw I have put certain boundaries around that wudnt allow me meet certain girls, n I cnt complain cos that's wot I caused myself.

Same way, most ladies have ignorantly put a big boundary around them that makes it impossible for normal young single guys to reach to them for frndship/love. Some place themselves so high that no real man (rich or poor) who isn't a playboy and a professional womanizer can break in. So the blame shud go to d lady who over-hyped herself to her detriment.

Yep. Most black girls are unapproacheable when [young and] attractive except you really know the game. I know they would open their yeye mouth and say it is not true but I see it everyday. Even a black girl over 30 that is still hot still retains her unapproachability with that ridiculous frown, head up the arsse and casual disparaging comments when they are approached which if you are sharp, you cut her into place straight away.

Another thing is they go out in a big crowd and sit and dance with their girlfriends, who are equally mean and rude things. Rebuffing every guy that approaches them and taking delight/satisfaction in doing it (feeling their ego boosted). Sharp guys just ignore them and target women from other races.

DailyNews: I believe every girl have once in her life met her dream man or can get him but most chase them away ignorantly or intentionally to regret later later. Hardly do men get wooed, but even ugly girls get wooed by all class of guys, so its easier for a girl to screen n make choice if she is realistic n focused than for a man to find a partner.

This is so coincidental.

One pal who has no interest in settling down called me a few days ago and told me "I have found the girl I want to marry and settle down with". He said she was so perfect and he had no option but to chat with her even though she was at work and he collected her number. He said to him, she was "the one" and he could see himself spending the rest of his life with her.

He called her, she never picked up. Sent text, she never replied.

I told him, most attractive girls just are not interested in guys that are keenly interested in them. It is when they lose their attractiveness that they would settle for anything that shows them attention. He gave her too much hints and she lost interest. I have done it too involuntarily. Move on.

DailyNews: The only time men become the heroes is when its time for marriage decision, but in early life, women run the world, so let them run it well at that time n get themselves their dream man becos its difficult once that period is over.

Exactly, the power shifts to the other side eventually. Most of these girls don't realise that.

DailyNews: Goodevening Luvmijeje, I want us to look at your points one after the other.

.........

If being good as a girl fail to attract the right guys to u, believe me it will get u a wonderful male recommendation from people within, it works so well, most men married their wife via recommendation.

...........................................................

No. 4, that lady has issue. She is either- harsh, always acting up, hardly smile, not humble, don't greet, frowns a lot, and carries herself too big. It takes a good playboy to approach a lady with the aforementioned qualities. Only playboys win such women and married men who have overflowing confidence out of several experience.

You just described 80% of Naija and black girls in general at their pre-desperation ages.

When they reach an age where they can feel the shelf on their arsse and feel their clock ticking, abracadabra, they all of a sudden know how to be civil and no more agbero personalities.

Also, by the way, recommendations are usually rubbish in my view. It is basically a bias begging-on-her-behalf social mechanism. The recommender is never objective, they are there to help avoid the shelf and are just talking shyt.

"Oh, she is a good girl o. Lovely girl! She is homely, honest and nice".

Shut up! Dem write mumu for my head? She is that good but no one saw it worthy to snap her up all these years and she needs assistance?

At best, I will find out on my own. To hell with your recommendation.

luvmijeje: @Dailynews,am gonna shock u by stating 4 more reasons why a realistic,good and focused single will remain single at that age.
1.Men who came into her life belive she is good enough to be dated but not enough to go to the altar with i.e she has been jilted by men.
2.She lost the love of her life to the cold hand of death and she couldn't let go on time.
3.A single mother who most single men don't want to get married to becos they see them as loose.
4.Believe me,there are some women who has never been ask for a date by single men but married men due to their size,finance....

I hope u now understand the word 'programmed'.There are more than 30m women in Nigerian and I can bet my life that none of u will get to meet 1 percent in ur lifetimes so why the statement 'Nigerian girls are materialistic'.
I would have to love to ask what materialistic means but not for this thread.

You forgot one:

5. She had her head up her arsse in her youth because she saw horn-y young boys chasing her about, not knowing her beauty would degrade [pretty fast] sometime, so she never developed a good personality, reputation or how to relate with men in a way that makes her attractive.