₦airaland Forum

She can go for HIV test first, file for separation so she can clear her head so she doesn't make any stupid decision that she will regret because that environment is no longer safe for her and her kids.

His subsequent actions will determine whether you will file for divorce or go back.but note that after adultery that marriage is dead because you will never trust him again,sex with him will be different and unpleasant,you might start nursing feeling of betrayal that can lead to hatred

kkins25:
Two groups of people actually; One who don't mind lazying around and have entitlement mindset. The second group just watch too much Disney world. Children in the West do jobs, odd jobs even, to support their family or themselves. But, When it's a black man doing the same thing, it becomes "Child abuse." 😂... Very soon, children cleaning the house will be seen as child abuse, and since it's the parents that birth them, the parents should take care of them completely. 😁
Too much delulu on the internet. Every thing is roses and sunshine on the internet.

exactly.very irritating and disturbing mentality.even when I see parents talk about how they raise their kids a part of me is disgusted and by the time their kids turn druggies, Olosho and thieves under their nose another part of me is like it serves them right.


You see where this woke mentality will carry parents, they themselves will not be able to handle it.shebi themselves are already seeing the outcome.dysfunctional children everywhere, brothers raping sisters, children disrespecting their parents,some of their children have even become a terror to their mothers because of this same ema ba Omo mi WI mentality.some are even slapping their mothers sef

kkins25:
Two groups of people actually; One who don't mind lazying around and have entitlement mindset. The second group just watch too much Disney world. Children in the West do jobs, odd jobs even, to support their family or themselves. But, When it's a black man doing the same thing, it becomes "Child abuse." 😂... Very soon, children cleaning the house will be seen as child abuse, and since it's the parents that birth them, the parents should take care of them completely. 😁
Too much delulu on the internet. Every thing is roses and sunshine on the internet.

exactly.very irritating and disturbing mentality.even when I see parents talk about how they raise their kids a part of me is disgusted and by the time their kids turn druggies, Olosho and thieves under their nose another part of me is like it serves them right.


You see where this woke mentality will carry parents, they themselves will not be able to handle it.shebi themselves are already seeing the outcome.dysfunctional children everywhere, brothers raping sisters, children disrespecting their parents,some of their children have even become a terror to their mothers because of this same ema ba Omo mi WI mentality.some are even slapping their mothers sef

tollyboy5:
You're just an ignorant fellow if you have comprehension problem. EOD

Continue to deceive yourself with leech mentality and see where it takes you to

Nigerian leaders itself is a perfect example.always going from country to country begging China, America, France for money they can't pay back but give so little or nothing in return and now they don turn nigeria into a butt of jokes and disrespect among comitee of nations.ib conclusion nobody likes or respects a leech.

If she likes,she should leave her friend and go to another person,Na the same scenario go play out

BananaPeel:
Not allowing her female child come is the best decision. When you are married and have a daughter you will understand. Take her calls and move on like nothing happens but you must create certain boundaries.

yinmu

Una children wey them no dey send message Na wetin lecturers dey send them like tomorrow no dey

Continue giving your children a false sense of how the world operates.dey deceive yourself Iya olomo.

It will get to an age where people will send your children errands and you won't be able to do shii about it.you never see where lecturers dey send people children errands? Them go even tell them make them come their staff quarters dey wash plates and even clothes.na only you get children.pele Iya olomo wey them no fit send their children

tollyboy5:
Stop twisting the narrative.
Calling a mother to send her child to you because you helped the family is not an altruistic behavior but an egoistic act.
That particular act is even an insult to the other family, send the children on errand only when they're with you, how is that hard for you to understand?

now let me put it in plain terms, nothing in this world is free.if she know say it's an insult for them to send her pikin, make she tell her pikin say make their leg no Comot for their house.nobody gives without expecting in return except you're a parasite or leech.its this mentality of collecting free stuffs without being useful that makes ritualist dey use free money dey lure Una type of people with this school of thought

ferhyntorlah:
You knew all these and still reconnected with her? If I were you, I wouldn't at all.

That's a parasitic relationship, and not a symbiotic one.

Most relationships these days are parasitic in nature. So, I'm not surprised.

exactly my point

7upnigeria:
Madam, the little change you have is getting into your head. They were not eating before you moved into their street abi. Haven't you heard? 'Who go help you no go stress you'. Nobody truly wants their kids becoming househelps, its financial situations that makes people consider such options. If you want to help them, please help. Stop looking for cheap labour.

then the woman too should train her kids right instead of looking for free food for her kids.this is what happens when you give birth to children beyond the capacity you can cater for them.if she tells her kids not to go to the lady's house,she meets another person Na the same thing go still happen.na bad ending go end am because nobody likes a leech

tollyboy5:
Both of them to go their separate way if what you just typed is the true issue on ground. But what the op did still remain an insult to the other woman family.
You just want to justify the insult because the other lady is leeching.
If i were in the op shoe i will render limited assistance. I have this believe that once a person give birth to children beyond 4 then they're more than capable to face the music.
This is the reason i run away from first born female, its only me and my elder sis so why would i marry a lady with 5 younger once and poor parent? The op should have use her head in the beginning but she's enjoy feeling like boss to her childhood friend.

Nawa o.so to help person Na problem?

Na Una go still abuse am if she no she'll say she's pompous, selfish and wicked.she no fit help.omo nothing wey human being for do wey go satisfy anybody.tuehh

Ginaz:
Yes o. but I needed to put some point straight or they run with false narrative. imagine him judging my personality based on a street argument that he knows nothing about what led to it. can you imagine?

exactly the reason I said you don't owe him any explanation because the more you respond to him the more he takes your work out of context and he already has a prejudice against you that you're a bad person so no need to shalaye because that Will not change his mind

Ginaz:
SAMBARRY thanks for your kind words. I've given them space o but funny enough they don't want to give me space. I don't know how to drive the kids away from me.

tell the mother in clear words and actions.no hide mouth talk am or be sounding apologetic, speak firmly and with conclusion.if after telling the mother the kids still come around,do something that will provoke the woman that will make her never to allow her kids around your house again.e.g when the kids come around (that's after you must have warned her o) carry broom and sweep their legs off your premises.anybody that is Yoruba knows the meaning of that.

No mother can stand watching her kids getting embarrassed or chased away so that trauma will be a reminder to her to ensure she doesn't allow her kids to your vicinity again

Ginaz:
Don't be stupid. The person I had an argument with said she will poison my cat cos she doesn't like cats. so I should sit and watch while she yells and threaten my pet? I had to stand up for myself and defend my poor innocent cat who is being prejudiced for a being a cat.
The lady was saying i sent my cat to harm her. imagine the nonsense. while we were exchanging words my friend came to pacify the lady while ignoring me.

same lady she has even badmouthed to me to avoid in the neighbourhood o.

you all find it very quick to criticise someone without caring to know how they feel.

madam no be everything you go say here.the more you talk,the more your words are misconstrued to make you look like a bad person.

In the first place you don't even have any point to prove to anybody.God sees your heart and motives and he is a rewarder.he rewards everyone accordingly for their deeds on Earth

tollyboy5:
You must be a lady to have this high sense of entitlement. No one is saying sending children on errand is bad!
But calling the mother to send her kid to you so you can send them an errand is an insult.

lmaooo insult?

But it's not an insult to play and mess the whole surroundings, spoil things in the house (that the mother cannot afford to return) or collect free food courtesy of the mom who uses tactics of telling them to go and play with the neighbour so that their lunch and dinner can be sorted out.yoruba will say who no know how to put meat for mouth and look for it.smh.tomorrow now Na your type go dey open thread to wail about how ladies are getting too entitled to men's money and bringing nothing to the table but you're encouraging someone to leech on another person

Again my gender is irrelevant to the issue at hand.whether I'm a man or woman,it doesn't matter,I hate entitlement and ingratitude.even God expects us to give our time and energy serving him as he gives to us.

tollyboy5:
For you to even be in a street argument might reveal the kind of person you are. So you wanted the said friend to come and fight on your behalf?
It seems you don't even put on a thinking Cap. She did the right thing as your friend to calm the other woman on your behalf and calm you down later. Sorry to say that your friend is way smarter than you are. You're just feeling you're better maybe because you're more financially stable.

her friend is better than her Na him she get 6 kids that she cannot cater for and still poor? She's intelligent indeed

Ginaz:
how many children have you helped in your life to sit down and write rubbish? you can't even withstand 3kids that are not yours in your house for 1day let alone 5kids coming and going from your house daily.

Let them come stay in your house so you can cook for them , be the one to go buy ingredients that you will use to cook for them to eat, allow them to do nothing but stare at you then come out and give me your review.

nonsense! this one is talking about common sense when he doesn't have one in his head.

my sister Ignore them.you see one of the characteristics of the poor is that they're usually ungrateful and entitled.theres nothing you can do about it.thats just who they are and it's better you stop at this juncture because the day you stop giving because you have your own commitments that is when you will be seen as a bad person or only helping because you want to take advantage of them.

Channel your money to your family. That money you're using to feed ungrateful people,use it and buy Christmas clothes for your mother, beautiful shoes for your sister and send money to your brother.helping ungrateful and entitled mothers will put you in trouble as you are already seeing.stop this joke now before it turns to a circus show

tollyboy5:
Ginaz kobo has giving you the answer you need already.
I will add mine, i usually agree to kobo opinion attimes. You're taking advantage of the woman's condition unknown to you. Let me tell you, people are tagged with wickedness will never see themselves as wicked. They'll feel people don't understand them. You can send children around you on errand but requesting the mother send her child to you so you can send them errand shows you're a self entitled folk.
You only give those children food so you can send them errand not that you are actually showing some form of altruism.
Your friend will not complain if you sent her child errand when they're at your place, but requesting she send her daughter to you so you can send them errand is a big insult to she and her husband.
You're the one that need to apologize. You're a fake person and from what i read your friend is just a low class person who reacted in the right way.

op you see why I said avoid mothers with children.this post is exactly the reason.

They will turn your kindness to wickedness and still blame you or say you're giving them stuffs so you can send them stuffs

Op if I were you this is what I will tell the mother.

Madam if I can't send your kids on errands please don't let me see them around my house and please don't let me meet my home dirty especially when I've cleaned it before, period.then walk out.

Ghoxt:
Sending people's children on errands, what nonsense.

then the kids should sit down in their mothers house and not come to her house for free food again.

So it's ok for the kids to eat free food and collect free money but it's not ok for them to be useful?

9icetoo:
Your entitlement mentality is astonishing.

Truly, common sense is not as common as it ought to be.

Unless of course, you are just trolling.

Which makes your post and comments barely okay.

but the woman allowing her kids to eat free food and collect money is not entitlement.

Na Una type dey raise entitled children who make girls believe that another man's money is their right because they have a vagina.no wonder men keep taking advantage of your type of kids

Zoe257:
Having the mind to give birth to 7 children in this day and age is crazy esp for someone who isn't financially buoyant.
I would have suggested you preach the concept of family planning to them but I hope it doesn't get you in their bad books for being truthful. Some people are just so complacent with their situation.
God knows you've done your best but you can assist them with whatever you can so they don't wreck you with their problem.

why are you encouraging her to allow another person who cannot control her vagina to carry her burdens on her?

Op if you don't have anything to do with your money, invest it, sponsor church envangelism and church programmes,pay hospital bills for the sick who are in genuine need of medical care and have no one to help them financially.stop funding a woman whose vagina is more active than her brain

emmabest2000:
End of discussion is to cut them off and kuku born your own kids



You're heartless walayi

boundaries are to keep your peace and anybody that sees boundaries as heartlessness are the very people you should establish your boundaries with.the fact that they are not ok with your boundaries but ok with taking advantage of you shows that they know what they are doing and I have no apologies for encouraging anyone to avoid entitled and ungrateful people because that is what I have done before and will do when the need arises

maasoap:
But their mother can send them to her house to freeload, right? May be by then, she has become their mother
When did Nigeria become like this that a woman or man with no kids can't send the kids of her friends or neighbours on errands? But can feed them?

exactly.

I know those types of mothers.ahe doesn't have money to feed them and she sees a friendly,more comfortable neighbour.next move is to tell the kids to go and play with the neighbour so that their lunch or dinner is sorted.you never jam some mothers.tuehh

Ginaz:
what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

mothers with financial means are a piece of work with plenty drama not to now talk of the ones with financial challenge.madam for your peace of mind,sanity and respect tell her to her face that you don't want any of her kids coming to your place again and you don't want your space messed up.you too keep your distance to avoid disrespect and see finish which has already started.keep your money to yourself and don't give the kids any money again.

I have experienced what you have experienced before and I earned my respect.its better for her to resent you than for it to be a full fledged big drama/war.

Give them space.dont wait till it degenerates to when she will tell you to go and born your own kids.be firm and if any of her child wanders to your place drive them back to their mother.since you cannot send them errands let them dey their day.you are not mother Christmas to just be dolling out money to kids and a mother who's not useful to you.again that your neighbours is a leech.make she go find who she go parasite go front.

I initially wanted to ignore the thread as I have seen people who have answered reasonably but I have seen a lot of stupid, irritating and annoying comments and I'm not surprised they're from single mothers raising entitled children who thinks it's ok to keep collecting and collecting without being of service to others.mshewww.

Meanwhile hunger and Sapa will strike again and she will come and meet you Wii some stupid sob story to enter you,my dear be firm and create boundaries.CLEAR BOUNDARIES.your help has already turned to disrespect.it will soon turn to see finish and she might even accuse you of trying to snatch her husband if you are not careful.

Finally if you are cooking she might be perceiving food and the way to deal with ungrateful and entitled people is

1.give them big distance and keep your food.the feeling that she cannot come and meet you again while perceiving the food you're cooking while she's hungry and broke is enough punishment.

2.keep an unfriendly/not my buisness face whenever you see her.if she greet you,greet her if she no greet you Comot face

3.children are innocent so they may likely come back and beg for food.tell them to go and meet their mother.even if they perceive or see food with you,don't give them a grain because the mother can set you up out of bitterness.she will say you put something inside the kids food that's why they're sick.avoid entitled, ungrateful and poor mothers o.theyre a danger to themselves and others and they will put you in trouble that's before they turn your help to wickedness

I Have no pity for him or any politician that becomes a victim of thuggery because these riffraff Politicians have so empowered and financially pumped up thugs so much that they're now as powerful if not more than the Political institution itself.

It's so disgusting that it's only in Nigeria charlatan politicians will be involving illiterate thugs into government buisness when there are Sane and educated Nigerians who are well meaning and ready to change the course of the nation

When you nurse,feed and water impunity and corruption,they become larger than you so much that you can't control it any longer.

Do you know the millions of Naira some people make on a daily basis because of those trucks parked there?

The fowl has come home to roost.i think Nollywood should even do a movie about this Apapa gridlock because the amount of organised crime going on there,it's legendary

hammerFC:
NOTHING MEN HATE PAST THAN FOR A WOMAN TO ACCUSE THEM OF RAPE.


I HAVE BEEN WITH HUNDRED'S OF WOMEN AND YOU ACCUSE ME OF RAPE?



HOW? WHERE? WHEN?



IT IS VERY PAINFUL AND SHAMEFUL.


EVEN IF THEM NO FIND AM GUILTY AT THE END, U HAVE FVUKED HIM UP.


HE WONT BE THE SAME AGAIN, BEACUSE HE WILL BE AFRIAD NOW.


A MAN PRIDE'S HIMSELF IN BEING ABLE TO SAY, AIN'T NO WOMAN EVER ACCUSED ME OF RAPE IN MY LIFE.


THEN ONE PUBLIC TOILET COMES AND TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU FOR A FEW PENNY'S.

I find it annoying when women falsely accuse men of rape because at the end of the day women Will be the victims of this false allegations because when actual rape victims come out, nobody will take them seriously.they might not even get a chance of fair hearing

lexy2014:
so because someone touched your breast and put hand in your pant, it now results in the following: "the woman "suffered and continues to suffer severe emotional distress and anxiety, humiliation, embarrassment, post-traumatic stress disorder and other physical and emotional damages".

by the way, what was she doing he was touching her breasts and putting hand inside her pant?

the annoying part is that with this spate of false allegations against successful men, Those who are genuine victims of rape might not get justice.

By the way I have never heard of women falsely accusing a bricklayer, janitor,clerk or office messenger of rape.its always the relatively successful men them dey always accuse, Why?