₦airaland Forum

Good day Admin.

I am a 38 years old woman. I got married to my husband when I was 36. I was not really into marriage. So I was not the desperate type. Even when my family,friends,everyone was pestering me about marriage,I didn’t care cos I was happy,living my life,happy and fulfilled.

By God’s grace,I am an accomplished woman. I have a thriving career. I have a house of my own and I have a masters while I am pursuing my PHD. I gave in to marriage when I met my husband through a friend that set up the match making. My husband,let us call him John,was and still is,a real estate developer. He is a divorcee but he doesn’t have any child from his ex wife.

I grew to like him and when he proposed,I agreed to marry him. Unfortunately,I didn’t get to meet his people until our marriage ceremonies. Both of us are adults and we didn’t think it was a big deal. John is over 40 years. But soon after my wedding,my mother in-law began to show herself. It was obvious that she didn’t like me. This makes me even suspect that she was the reason behind the first marriage crashing. Even though my husband said,it crashed cos they realized that they were not compatible. They quarreled a lot until they divorced.

Well, this woman came to visit us shortly after our marriage and refused to leave even after one month. I didn’t mind but for her constant nagging. She complains that I am not a homely wife. That I love my career more than my home. She would curse me and call me names. I was horrified but I tried to keep my cool. When I told my husband,he brushed it aside and asked me to be the bigger person by ignoring the mother.

Eventually she left but ....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/why-i-do-not-want-to-have-babies-after-two-years-of-marriage/

My dear commit everything to God. This maybe a trial for u

On point bro

enilove:
That is not God's fault but yours.

We don't have to blame God for what we did not ask or allow Him to decide for us.

When the servant of Abraham wanted to choose a wife for Isaac he prayed to God to choose the right woman for his master's son. And God did it.
But nowadays , we feel we know it all . We all want to choose beautiful women and handsome men. That is a great problem indeed. The bible tells in :

Jeremiah 17:9 KJV
The heart is deceitful above all things , and desperately wicked: who can know it?

If you had asked God , He would have told you not to marry him. So blame yourself and not God.

Still , it is not the end of life , if you go to God in prayers , He will wipe away your tears. Trust God :

Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
[6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

I was convinced Mel and I were going to get divorced after our first child. 100% sure. Not that we didn’t love each other, because we did. But we were young, both 24 years old. I was still in college. Our son, well… he sucked. Can I say that about a baby, because it’s true? He was a no-napper, and a no-night sleeper, and a fussy little butthole of a baby who refused to be let down. And even when we did hold him, he still cried a lot.

In hindsight, I sometimes wonder if he was colicky, but at the time, I honestly didn’t even know what that was. What I did know is that I was a young father working full time waiting tables while attending full-time college. My wife was working full time at a hardware store. No one was sleeping. NO ONE, and it felt like Mel and I were at each other’s throats all the time.

Although we split the night evenly, we still fought about who got up. We fought when one of us fell asleep on the sofa while the other held the baby, most of the time accidentally, but there is something about looking at your partner taking a nap when you are exhausted that makes you want to light everything on fire.

We fought on dates over what to order. We fought about directions and where the little money we had should go. We fought about EVERYTHING.

It came to a head at the grocery store one afternoon when I....see more



https://livelystones.com.ng/how-we-saved-our-relationship-on-the-verge-of-divorce/

Good day Jzhane,

You doing a great Job, especially with your WhatsApp group I belong to. I like matured ways issues are dealt with.I have learnt so much from it and that has motivated me to write cos I don’t want to make a regrettable marriage mistake that can be avoided.

Am going to be 27years old in couple of days. I have been dating this gal for eight months now though we been friends for almost two years now, and I must confess I loved her with all my life from the very first sight of her and still do but am getting scare.

I am working and doing well as a young guy. I planned to get married between early next year.but am really having cold feet
I met Bisi on my way back from a job interview, I stopped at a Bank to regularize some issues with my account, that was the genesis of our friendship.from the queue, we exchange phone numbers. Bisi, was a 300level Unilag student
She was from a below average family, and i didn’t mind. I got the job I went for the day I met her, that made me admire her the more as we talk most on phone besides, she is pretty, soft spoken, look fragile like an angel that should not be hurt. Above all I also felt that she brought me luck.
Not sooner had we started talking that she opened up to me about her rough past, she been....see more



https://livelystones.com.ng/i-love-her-but-she-keep-falling-for-bad-guyswhat-do-i-do/

I hear! Hope we will not hear the contrary?


https://livelystones.com.ng/another-woman-dumped-before-wedding-dayis-she-too-desperate/

Hello dear, i can relate with your excitement. But if bros not comfortable,it's his lose, let it be,He just missed a jewel. There still better days ahead.

Dear Jzhane,

Keep my ID out of this if you decide to post this. I just had a massive blow out with my hubby last night and for the first time in our three years of marriage,he slept in the guest room and he went to work without speaking to me this morning. I have been crying my eyes out and I do not know what to do.

This is the first time that we would have a quarrel and he would not speak to me or leave the house without saying anything to me. I fear that he will carry out his threat of cheating on me. Please help me.

I know that I am a prude. I am your typical church girl,born again. I met my husband a virgin. He knew I was a virgin and he is a good man. I know that he has been trying but I am also doing my best. The issue is that I lack experience in matters of s*x. He has been teaching me and I have sought advice from my friends and other elderly women but we are still frustrated.

My husband complains that I am lifeless anytime we have sx. I honestly do not know what am supposed to do when sx is going on. I try to moan and respond accordingly but he says I am like a log of wood and he is tired of trying to make me respond. He suggested that I watch some adult materials but I refused cos I believe that is a sin.

Its not like I don’t make an effort but apparently he is more experienced than myself and he wants me to match him but isn’t that selfish? I cannot be like him cos we do not have the same experience. He also wants to try and explore other s*xual options which I am open to but he complains that I am not into it and it shows that I do not love him.

The other day,we....


https://livelystones.com.ng/please-help-my-husband-yelled-at-me-called-me-incompetent/

i like this comment, we have some virtuous ladies here

chiommy123:
She's not alone on this. Some mothers experience this too. Going outside your marriage will bring more problems. Talk to her or get someone to talk/ explain things to her.

Gbam!

olumoyebo1988:
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Absolutely

Alejoc:
Life is not a pack of biscuits.... It is more like a fierce battle... Not retreat, no surrender..... Tough time they say, don't last!

Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my identity. I am 35 years old with a year old son.
I met my ‘husband’ in 2013 and we started courting in 2014. We got married in 2016 June and got the shock of my life the two months later that my husband was already married with a daughter. I found out I was pregnant, from then on my life has been one long sad story.
The man I loved and trusted deceived me with his family’s conical. They claim he......more



https://livelystones.com.ng/i-was-a-good-girl-but-why-did-god-allow-this-to-happen-to-me/

The men are out oooh, lady make una respond

Good Morning ma,

I have tried to send you this email several times,I was just not bold enough but thank God I am now. I am 30 years old. 29th of this month precisely. And I have been in a relationship with my fiance for two years. He is a good man and kind to me. I love him so much. But I am having a challenge with him. In fact,I am thinking that I should break up with him but I am scared of loosing him.

Our plan is to do our introduction in October and all wedding rites between November and December this year. But he has a friend whom I feel is misleading him. His friend likes to party and club and even though my guy doesn’t club but recently,he influenced him to go to a strip club with him. And my guy did not tell me. In fact,he lied about it.

Usually,I visit my fiance every weekend. And so last week,when I visited,I found him still sleeping by 8am. I asked him what happened,he said he slept late watching movies. So I let him sleep but while he slept, his.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-fiance-went-to-a-strip-club-lied-about-it-when-i-caught-him/

I hope you've all registered? Opportunity to meet with LS team

Nice one dear

Wilfredpat22:
Not just do what you are asked to do but hustle also, don’t leave everything for your man, let’s stop telemundo, sleeping with our husband friends, chatting with various and numerous men on WhatsApp, Instagram and bring some level of income.

Loyalty matters. It’s not every time we should be opening our poosie.

hmnnnn

emmie14:
This lady gaga sounds south African.

yes ooooo, our excitement cannot be curtained

BrokeBoySolow:
We Thank God

Challenges in marriages/relationship are a test of maturity and true love

Thanks, but everyone can learn from it

milemimi93:
Move it to family section

See video here: https://livelystones.com.ng/breaking-news-video-elo-ogidis-family-rejoice-at-her-return/

labake1:
Really happy
This is a good news!

Good evening Admin,

My wife and I are having a hard time even though our marriage is just two years old. I admit,I saw the signs but I was either too naive or stupidly in love to admit that.Right now,I find it really hard to trust that my wife can ever be truly in love with me and I have come to the realization that I cannot live with that.

I met Medline (not real name) three years ago. She had just broken up with her ex. She seemed pretty burned in the relationship so she didn’t really trust my intentions when I approached her. She said she was not ready for dating or long relationships. She wanted to get married right away if I was truly serious about her. All well and fine,I agreed cos I was blown away and in love with her.

In four months of knowing her,we already stated marriage talks and we had our introduction,wedding in the eight month. Medline is a lovely girl,educated,smart and very caring. One area I did however did not notice her flaws was that she was still in love with her ex. Even though the guy burned her,she seemed to be in love with him.

I noticed she still followed him on social media. I am a free minded person and I didn’t think anything of it. In fact,some of my exs are my friends on social media. But the trouble started when we......more


https://livelystones.com.ng/blindsided-by-love-i-cannot-get-past-it-to-save-my-marriage/

Yesterday, I tuned into a show that’s turning some heads. It’s called, “Submissive Wives’ Guide to Marriage” and it aired on TLC on May 17th.

The show follows three couples who claim to be living the life of a “submissive wife,” and vouch that this has been the saving grace to their happy marriages.

The shows main character, submissive wife Tara, says that the motto of a submissive wife is to: “Help her man, serve her man, submit to her man, and sleep with her man.”

While I’m all for helping, serving, and sleeping with my husband, the show left me feeling empty, and wrestling with some serious questions I’ve struggled with in light of this really important, yet delicate topic, often only partially discussed in Christian circles.

Have we focused too much on submission and too little on love?

As a Licensed Professional Counselor and relationship specialist, the truth of the matter is that I’ve seen this concept of “submission” defined and redefined in so many ways. And sadly, I’ve seen it used to fulfill selfish agendas and aid in manipulation, and at times, even abuse. As a Christian I’ve grown up in conservative circles hearing conversation after conversation about a “submissive wife,” but why is it that we’ve focused so much on submission, yet so little on the idea of establishing a loving marriage? Don’t the two go hand-in-hand?

As I look through Scripture, and even zoom-in on the Ephesians.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/what-we-get-wrong-about-women-submitting-to-their-husbands/

zinnydan:
I love my daddy and nothing can change that,sometimes in life we need to take difficult decisions

I’m not the kind of girl who expects my boyfriend to pay for absolutely everything. I believe in splitting costs during the early stages of a relationship and not combining bank accounts until you get married. I’m happy to contribute, but since i’m the only one working full-time in my current relationship, i foot the bill every single time and i’m over it.

I’m Proud Of My Financial Independence.
I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have college loans to pay off—my parents helped me but cut me off after i graduated. I’ve been blessed to have learned early on how to save, and i know not to take my full-time job for granted. It gives me a sense of pride that i’m on my own for all things related to money because it proves i’m growing up.

I’m Not Looking For A Sugar Daddy.
Being frustrated with my current situation with my boyfriend doesn’t mean i’d rather date an older man who’s terrible for me but is rolling in dough. I wouldn’t! I love my partner and the relationship we have, and having a guy who paid for everything would make me super uncomfortable as well. I know i’d resent my financial situation and my partner, and that wouldn’t be good either.

But I Would Rather Things Be A 50/50 Split......see



https://livelystones.com.ng/i-pay-for-everything-cos-my-boyfriends-broke-its-getting-old/

hmnnnn

ZIMDRILL:
you are missing the point

most people dont come here to re directed somewhere

For a lot of men, asking a woman to marry them is one of the scariest things they’ll ever have to do. They feel pressure to make the proposal perfect and stressed about what their girlfriend’s response will be (even if they’re fairly certain she’ll say “yes.”) The good news is that most women won’t base their answer on whether or not the proposal is perfect, so you can breathe easy. As long as you put in an effort and try to make her feel special, then your proposal should be fine.

Her answer will be based on how she feels about you and your relationship. It is likely something she has been thinking about a long time. So if you “mess” it up, her answer is unlikely to change.

But here are some tips on how to make the moment special,.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/how-to-ask-a-woman-to-marry-you-and-make-it-perfect/

The familiar lyrics of my phone interrupted the quiet midnight hour. Groggy and fumbling for my glasses, I glanced at the screen. Anxiety ripped my soul. Midnight calls always meant trouble, and this was no exception.

My daughter’s sobs interrupted my hello. “I’m coming ho… hooome,” she wailed.

A similar incident with my mother, years in the past, raced through my mind and caused me to plead, Lord please help me. Give me words......more


https://livelystones.com.ng/why-you-shouldnt-divulge-your-marriage-problems-to-your-mother/

Dear Jzhane,

I am not much of a writer so I will just go straight to the point. Ivanka was posted to our hospital to do her NYSC. The first time I met her,I was immediately drawn to her. She is attractive,smart and very friendly.I had just started working as a young Doctor two years ago in my Uncle’s hospital.

Throughout Ivanka’s service at the hospital,we were friends and I was actually too shy or too lame to ask her out. I felt a girl like her would have someone already that she was dating and planning to marry. I was in a relationship myself but it was long distance not very serious actually. Ivanka is so likable. I would gist with her and sometimes we go out for lunch and it was a joy working with her especially when I am performing surgeries.

A few months to the end of her service in our hospital,I decided to shoot my shot. I asked her if she could be my girlfriend. I confessed to her that I was in love with her. She broke down and began to cry. She said she was also in love with me but that we cannot be together. I asked her why,she said....more



https://livelystones.com.ng/my-uncle-or-my-girlfriend-how-do-i-move-forward-eventually/

Yippee!!!�������

Lively Stones Couples & Fans Hangout is finally here.

At Lively Stones,our goal is to provide insight and emotional support with sound counsel for healthy relationships,family and friends. If you need a friend to talk to..no judgement….. To pray with you… To hold your hand… We got you!

Our quarterly hangout is an event where we meet all our fans and create a platform for couples to unwind while learning and empowering their relationships with valuable information and a solid support system.

This quarter’s hangout will hold in September 2018. Our focus will be for couples and all our fans. You must register to attend.

Date: Saturday 22nd, September 2018
Venue: Presken Hotel & Resorts,16 Mojidi Street, Off Toyin Street ,Ikeja, Lagos.
Time: 2.30pm-6pm (No African Time)
Featuring at the hangout include:
Movie Night
Comedy
Marriage & Relationship Seminar
Question & Answer Session
Networking Opportunities
New Entrepreneurial Business Opportunities
Barbecue
Click here to register� :


https://livelystones.com.ng/lively-stones-fans-couples-hangout-a-september-to-remember/