₦airaland Forum

Hello,

So I just want to put it out there and be honest about how I see things to this wonderful lady that I have been seeing for almost a year now. I love her and she makes me happy. Like most girls in relationships expect,she is already nudging me about where our relationship is going…

Well,I know she is expecting marriage but the truth of the matter is,I do not believe in marriage. I also do not believe in monogamy. Shocking right? Why would I believe when all around me,all I see is marriages breaking up and people supposed to be committed cheating on their spouses.

To buttress my stand on this,I grew with a single parent. My father kept telling me and my brother how our mother betrayed him by sleeping with his best friend.On his part,he was with several women all through our growing up. He pretty much groomed me to believing you do not have to be married to be happy or successful in life.

My father and my Uncles,even some of my aunts are not married. The ones who did get married got divorced later on. I have been heart broken by girls I genuinely liked …I am good looking and doing well by myself. Maybe for some,marriage could be an option but not for me.

I been happy so far with my resolve until I......



https://livelystones.com.ng/how-do-i-tell-her-that-i-do-not-believe-in-getting-married/

Good day,

I need your advice.

It’s been eleven months I walked away from my previous relationship. It has not been easy moving on but now I felt I should give love another try because my family are hoping I settle down soon.

I found myself in three guys life. The first one, which I love so much doesn’t understand my feeling and he is self-centered. He doesn’t care about what I think, all he want is his opinion to be right. That is not even the problem, I don’t see him as ambitious man. He is a graduate and still seeking a job.

I understand that he is not yet employed as my part I started thinking for a way to help him get a job. I even joined job vacancy groups for his sake. I will always forward link that are related to his field to him but I discovered that he is not applying. I am thinking maybe because his father is Rich that’s why he is not serious.

All he want is,.......



https://livelystones.com.ng/pretty-sure-my-luck-with-men-has-run-outplease-advice-me/

Lotel:
If you can't post the full article here carry ur useless link away

hmnnnnn

Editor’s Note:

This story is as shared by the author with her permission. We hope you all can draw strength and courage from her story. Stay tuned.

Jzhane


My Early Days.

I had just finished WAEC in June 1996 and turned seventeen with very high hopes . I headed to my brother’s house in Alaba area, Sabo Ajangbadi to be precise. I couldn’t wait to get into the university and come out the best Lawyer. I wrote jamb and got admission into UniIlorin.

Before the holiday ended, I met my Ex who happens to be in the same Alaba international market from the same town; Nanka. Well he toasted me and being a naive young girl, I told my sister in-law about it and she advised me to give him a chance seeing as I was already of age.

That was the beginning of.......




https://livelystones.com.ng/a-woman-shares-her-story-of-pain-strugglecourage-victory/

Hello Jzhane,

I am Joe (Not real name). My fiancee and I are happy. I met her two years ago in Benin. She was working as a Nurse. I admired her zeal and passion for life and helping people. I used to love travelling down to see her every other week but I was finally able to convince her to move down to Lagos as our wedding plans drew near.

In the course of our relationship,she told me that Her mother died when she was little. She never really knew her mother. Even my mother felt very maternal to her as a result of this.Last week was our marriage introduction. We traveled to my wife’s place in Edo state for the introduction. All went well.

But as we rounded up the traditional rites. A relative from my fiancee’s family,Someone who is related to her step mother,called my uncle aside and told him that my fiancee’s mother is alive but that the family is hiding her from the public.That she is sick and locked up in a psychiatric home.

I called my Fiancee and told her what we found out. She was shocked and asked to speak to me alone. I saw she was shaking.That was when she .........




https://livelystones.com.ng/my-fiancee-and-her-family-lies-and-secrets-that-may-haunt-us/

Pls tell us the truth

babyfaceafrica:
lies

Dear Livelystones,

I need your advice. Years ago,there was this young lady that came to live with my family. She is a relative from the same village. She was homeless at the time and so we allowed her to come and live with us. During the three years she lived with us,she was very stubborn and wayward. It was because of her struggling mother that I allowed her to even stay long as three years.

However,we had to throw her out eventually when her behavior became uncontrollable. That was like 7 years ago. Recently,she started calling my husband again. This time,she had given birth to a child whom she does not know the father. Its like things are really bad for her. Out of a good mind,I encourage my husband to send her money.

We have been doing that to support her and sometimes her mother would call to thank us. About two weeks ago,I noticed her call had become more and more consistent. She would call my husband at odd hours of the night,always demanding for money. I found.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/this-wayward-girl-is-blackmailing-my-husband-is-he-guilty/

Hello Ma,

Please do not judge me. I have contemplated sending you this message for a long time. I know most people will react to me in a negative way but I have braved it to ask because I do not want to make a mistake that I will regret.

Ma,I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. We are s*xually active. I have had one abortion. I know,I am sorry I did that but my boyfriend refuses to use condom. I love him and he loves me. We plan to get married before 2020,that is after he finish his masters.

Unfortunately,I got pregnant again and he told me to abort it. I refused and I told him that means he does not care about me. Why will I keep having abortions if he has plans to marry me? That made me really suspicious and I was scared and angry. We quarreled and I broke up with him. I thought.......


https://livelystones.com.ng/two-men-in-my-life-but-i-am-pregnant-for-one-of-them/

Dear Ma,

I feel depressed, abuse emotionally and it setting into frustration.I’m so confused more than ever,I need to talk with someone.I have prayed, but I seem not to have have answers. Its really long story and I don’t know where to start it. But I will need you to understand me so will know what to say or advice.

I’m a one woman man,I had a dream as a young boy to have a loving home. To love my wife above anything in this world,even myself. But with the conditions that she submit,respect and loyal to me. So I started the journey.

I’m 43 now,still not married and even more confused than ever.It all happen 17 yrs ago. I meet a lady home I prayed and believe to be my wife and the mother of my unborn children, as I didn’t not want many kids but just two alone. Before then,I was dating..........


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-love-life-is-in-crises-at-43-years-oldhow-do-i-start-all-over/

Dear Ma,

Please help me. I need advice. So,I have a boyfriend that I have been with for about a year and three months. Our relationship is not perfect. I feel like my boyfriend can do more to make our relationship better. He cares for me but he hardly shows it. In fact,I did not want to date him initially because I saw him as a bit proud.

He calls me,but if I do not call him,he will not call me. Also,he does not spend much on me. Maybe cos he is not that rich but spending on a girl you love is not in the amount but in consistency. I have tried to communicate my love language to him several times but he seems not to get it. Or maybe he just refuses to .

For me,I am the type of girl that likes attention. I like to go to movies like once or twice a month. That does not cost much. I like small surprises that do not cost much. I even try to show him example by doing the same for him. I buy him ties or socks or boxers or buy him like KFC for lunch. Like random surprises. Still my boyfriend does not get it.

So,its been a case of I have been managing him. But recently,I got a new job and I met a new guy in my office. This guy is very cool,fine and very polite. I mean,I was amazed at his kindness to not just me but to every body around. He is really liked by all. People used to tease him that his wife will be very fortunate to marry him.

Me and him are friendly. It came naturally. He seemed to get me easily. Before long,I......




https://livelystones.com.ng/this-man-is-all-i-dreamed-of-but-i-am-stuck-in-my-relationship/

Hello Ma’am,

What I am about to reveal is the biggest mistake in my entire life. I am a 24 year graduate of a polytechnic in the south. I have been in a relationship with someone for six years. We met in ND 1 and ever since,we ave been together. My girlfriend is my world. We are going to get married after HND. She has done so much for me and I love her so much.

However,I was having problems in my academics. I have have been having carryover in a particular course and with the way it was going,It meant I would have an extra year in school. I tried everything,I read and read but I still failed that course. My friend advised me to settle the lecturer and that is how I went to see her. I pleaded with her and offered to do anything to help my situation.

This woman looked at me and said:anything,are you really sure? I sad yes!…she then gave me her phone number and asked me to call her by 6pm that day. I called her and she asked me to meet her at a certain hotel. I was suspicious but I was desperate. I went there to see her ..to cut the long story short,she made me sleep with her that day. And she said,I had to do it with her seven times.

I wondered why seven times. My friend joked she needed it for spiritual purposes. I thought that was bullshit. Now,I did everything to hide this from my girlfriend. I felt so bad that I betrayed her but this was my life. I was thinking of my future. There was no way I was going to have an extra year. My father would disown me.

So,my commitment to my lecturer who is in her 40s continued until I......




https://livelystones.com.ng/my-desperation-compromised-my-relationship-i-am-confused/

Good Afternoon ma,

I have been a great follower of lively stones. I appreciate what God is using you to do in relationships and marriages. But I need your advice now please.

I have been in this relationship for 7 years now, though we have break up and come together sometimes. But recently it’s been hell for us. Cos I lied. I studied Biochemistry at U.I but I dropped out when I noticed I wasn’t coping. But not without telling him.

I noticed his attitude towards me changed when I told him. I further my education in a private polytechnic. I’m currently in my HND 2. I’ll be serving by November by God’s grace. He asked to see my mum December last year. But I told him there are things he needs to know before we proceed. Told him about my school and he almost.....



https://livelystones.com.ng/please-help-me-save-my-relationship-he-hardly-speaks-to-me-anymore/

You are a lady stop thinking everyone is fraud. I watch the video and i could the love of a father

Mizwisdom:
I don't know why I suspect the man, I think he's fraudulent

they will have to get passport and visa.May God strengthen the family. Rest In Peace little Benaiah

eleojo23:
He should have taken the boy for treatment since

So,I finally got a job at the Fashion house that I have been trying to apply for more than three years. Everyone in South Africa knows that BB fashion House (not real name) is the biggest and the best. I always dreamed of being a Fashion Designer,one who’s designs would be show cased all over the world. My passion saw me dreaming of working with only the best like BB,at least in whole of South Africa.

When I received the call that I got a job at BB..I was beyond overwhelmed. I resumed and its been such a joy working there with all the top designers in the country to mentor and learn from. I mean,when my boss,the GM even showed interest in me,all I could think of was I was beyond blessed.I saw BB Fashion house as a friendly place to work in. Everyone seemed so cool. Sometimes,the different units would have a TGIF and it was seen as a place that promotes work life balance since we spend crazy hours at work.

One time,we all went to see a movie after work. I loved the movie cos it was a romantic one and I am a crazy romantic. My GM asked me how I loved it and I told him I am a crazy romantic. He then said he also is a crazy romantic. Next day,he got.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/i-tried-to-keep-my-dream-job-but-i-made-an-emotional-mistake/

So,I finally got a job at the Fashion house that I have been trying to apply for more than three years. Everyone in South Africa knows that BB fashion House (not real name) is the biggest and the best. I always dreamed of being a Fashion Designer,one who’s designs would be show cased all over the world. My passion saw me dreaming of working with only the best like BB,at least in whole of South Africa.

When I received the call that I got a job at BB..I was beyond overwhelmed. I resumed and its been such a joy working there with all the top designers in the country to mentor and learn from. I mean,when my boss,the GM even showed interest in me,all I could think of was I was beyond blessed.I saw BB Fashion house as a friendly place to work in. Everyone seemed so cool. Sometimes,the different units would have a TGIF and it was seen as a place that promotes work life balance since we spend crazy hours at work.

One time,we all went to see a movie after work. I loved the movie cos it was a romantic one and I am a crazy romantic. My GM asked me how I loved it and I told him I am a crazy romantic. He then said he also is a crazy romantic. Next day,he got.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/i-tried-to-keep-my-dream-job-but-i-made-an-emotional-mistake/

Hello Jzhane,

Yesterday’s story prompted me to share my story. (Read yesterday’s story here). This story shared on the group is quite similar to mine and has really been eating me up. I need advise from others. I am in a relationship with a lovely lady. We have known each other for a long time but we became an item about a year and a half ago.

When we started dating,I made it clear that the relationship was geared towards marriage. I did not want to date for too long before getting married. But a few months down the line,I resigned from my job and had to resort to operating Taxify. I am also running a part time program in teh University. This affected my financial situation but I still did my best to assist my fiancee anytime the need arises.

However,I noticed that we started to argue more and more after the financial situation changed. What bothered me was that she made it seem like she was tolerating me in the relationship. If we had a misunderstanding,she could stay for days without calling or apologizing until I call to apologize. And she knows I will.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-fiancee-i-do-not-see-eye-to-eye-anymore-please-help/

Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID. I am a born again child of God. I am in a relationship and engaged to a christian,both of us from the same church. As a matter of fact,both of us are members of the same activity group in church. Before we started dating,we knew each other as friends for almost a year. I had actually relocated from the North to Lagos and I guess he checked me out for a year before making his intentions known.

Being in a relationship with him is cool but we actually started having s*x along the way. I told myself that it was because we were so in love and could not keep our hands to ourselves. But every time,I felt guilty after the act. I knew I was not living right. I struggled and I told him that we have to stop having s*x as this is not my idea of living a godly christian life. He struggled too but he agreed.

Then,like five months later,he.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/how-do-i-know-my-fiance-will/

Hello ma,

I am 38 years old and I am scared that something is wrong with me. I am scared that I may never find someone to love me enough to marry me. My last relationship lasted two years and I was really certain that this was going to be the one that would lead to marriage. Alas,we broke up just four months ago and guess what,this guy that I was dating for twp years and broke up with four months ago,is already getting married to someone next month.

This is the reason I am beginning to think that the problem is with me and I need counsel and prayers. It has become the norm now. Every guy that I date will give me the impression that I am the one. I am wife material,that I can say. I can cook,I am beautiful,I have a good job,I am a fairly good Christian (because I don’t want to boast). I clean,home maker,etc. I even love the guy’s family to the extent of buying them gifts.

Before my last relationship,I was with a guy for eight months,we broke up and the next month,this guy got married to someone else. The guy before that one,we were together for three years and two months,we broke up and under six months,he got married too another person. I do not know what is going on but I cannot continue like this.

I keep celibate in some relationships,some I don’t. Its like no matter what I do,I am not the marriageable type.This last relationship was very painful......


https://livelystones.com.ng/whats-wrong-with-meall-my-exes-get-married-after-dumping-me/

Hello Ma’am,

Please hide my details.

I am a girl of 28 years (not real age). I was in a relationship with a guy for 5 years, We broke up 2015/2016. This is the story. I and Todd (not real name) started dating after series of begging, I didn’t love him at first but grew to love him. I just accepted just to be among boyfriend possessors. Lol.

I didn’t really pay attention to his side stuffs till we started having s*x and that was when I became conscious and observed his every move. I suspected he was cheating but didn’t have any evidence and he kept denying and assuring me all was well.
When my sister did her introduction, I prayed to God to show me a sign if he is not the one and surprisingly God answered. My sister caught him with a girl in a compromising position and told me. He denied doing that but I kept praying and then my friend stepped in. She said he doesn’t deserve me and I should leave him. This is a girl that has always been telling me to leave him and date other guys without giving me any reason.

I begged her to seduce him just to be sure because she told me she knows he is philandering but no evidence. She agreed and when she started to chat with him that was when he poured his heart to her, telling her how he has always wanted her, her big boobs and bum bum and everything. Said he wanted her desperately cos he knows she is sweeter. Said other stuffs which I can’t recall.
She forwarded their chats to my mail and I confronted him but he denied everything even when I showed him evidence he still denied saying he wasn’t serious, just wanted to sleep with her,said she is loose and bla bla bla(all excuses and stories different days).
He also said it was a set up and he wanted to show me the kind of friend I had but when I asked him to show me the chats from his phone so I would believe him he couldn’t. He wasn’t bad, just philandering. I sometimes think of going back but then I won’t be happy. He even dated my.....

https://livelystones.com.ng/i-am-lonely-tempted-why-is-true-love-evading-me/

Good Evening ma,

I am on the Whatsapp group page of livelystone. I have a question and I was directed to whatsapp you.I have a question I want to ask,I want you to post on the group so that I can learn from the comments.

I just got married not up. Barely a month ago.We were not sexually active for like two years that was because he was outside the country. We were both virgins when we met,we had s*x but You know s*x of novice was just there,this was before two years that we were not sexually active.

Even at that when we were dating,in a year we could have s*x like.....




https://livelystones.com.ng/is-there-something-wrong-with-our-sx-life-please-help/

Joromi12:
Fake story both posters are same pple

On point dear

Valerie47:
You don't fix people that don't want to be fixed, you let loose and let them go.

Lol!

abdulazeez1002:
Is your husband sister an Igbo man??

I have always loved Benny since I met her at a friend’s house warming party. She was such a bright and bubbly girl. She was 23. I was 39. The age difference is huge,I get it. But Benny did not look her age one bit. She looked quite mature and s*xy. Her attitude also was very mature. We tried to remain friends but the chemistry was too strong….

Benny and I dated for almost a year,I was head over heels in love with a girl that I was 16 years older than. She was in love with me too but she got ashamed of me when we went out. I met her family,her mother,a single mom who had her when she was 18 and her younger brother she had with a man that left her about 10 years ago. Very close knit family. I was at home with them,her mother approved after she saw how I treated her daughter but Benny was insecure with me.

Things became tough when Benny went to UK for her masters a year later. I tried to visit her now and then but I think she used her being away as excuse to break up with me two years later. I was hurt but I knew her age made her feel she could find someone better,some younger to be with. I did not fight her. I wanted her to.....



https://livelystones.com.ng/i-am-still-in-love-with-my-ex-it-is-messing-up-my-marriage/

Dear Jzhane,

I need your help. Hide my details. I probably will get a lot of backlash for my story but I do need help as I am certain I have made a huge mistake by getting married to my husband. I was in a relationship with someone for six years. It was not perfect at all. There were a lot of issues. Cheating being the peak of it all. Several times we broke up and came back…I do not know why but I think I couldn’t find someone to love me as he did or maybe…I was just confused by love..

However,this circle was finally broken about four years ago. I mean,I broke up with him after catching him red handed. I was done. I left in tears and really heart broken. I am a sucker for love. I was too shaken by the breakup. Within a month,a friend introduced me to an army officer: a colonel who was looking for a wife. Because I was too heartbroken,I did not even bother to find out more about him. I just wanted to move on.

I agreed to.....


https://livelystones.com.ng/how-i-rushed-into-marriage-because-i-was-heartbroken/

Several online outlets report that Actress Funke Akindele Bello and her hubby, Abdulrasheed Bello aka JJC Skillz, have welcomed a set of twin boys. Funke welcomed their bundles of joy in a UK hospital and is already back home in Lagos with her babies.

The actress who disclosed it stylishly on her Instagram story, wrote; “Thank you Lord. Oluwa e tobi (God is great), I am now being called a new name.”


https://livelystones.com.ng/actress-funke-akindele-bello-and-husband-welcome-twin-babies/

Good day ma’am,

I need your advice and that of the group please. A few years ago,I was in a relationship with someone that I was truly in love with. We even planned getting married but somehow,things didn’t work out as planned. We went our separate ways but the relationship produced a baby boy.
A year and half ago, I met my husband and we got married the traditional way because of financial challenges. My husband told me his salary was not coming as at when due and he took a loan which he was trying to upset. This also made us decide to wait for a while before having our own kids.

Honestly,I believed my husband loved me. Before we got married,we prayed as fasted about our marriage. I mean,when he took me to see his parents,he knelt down and cried and begged them to accept me even though I was a single mother. He told them that it was me he fell in love with and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I felt so touched.

However,from sometime early this year I started noticing some funny movement from him. During Easter this year, I traveled to a different state,but when I was away I noticed quite a lot,he stopped calling like usual,sounds weird on the phone.
Long story short he told me that he is tired of the marriage and that he wish we will go our separate ways. Then one of our neighbor called to know about me and why I have been away for a long time,I told her that I wasn’t feeling fine that I did an appendice surgery,then she told to please come back that she doesn’t like what she is seeing,that ....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/just-a-year-after-my-marriage-what-happened-to-us/