₦airaland Forum

Confusedgirl869:
Hmmm bae, what about my parents? Especially mum after all the home trainings she gave, wouldn't she think I disgraced her? Being the first daughter, you know how our parents think na.

Ishilove:
DUMP HIS STINGY ASS. Love is giving and if he is too stingy to give then he isn't worth it. The best way to handle mofos like him is stop giving him. When he comes to your place, give him cold water to drink. If there is no light, give him lukewarm water. When you go to his place, make sure you eat well before reaching there. Don't buy him gifts. Call him on WhatsApp call (don't use your credit to call).

Don't spend a dime on his stingy ass and give him as hard as he gives you. Tit for tat.

solochiben:
Imo state enter two pages��

PrimadonnaO:
Who agrees with me that the way we go about relationships these days is wrong?

Ideally, this is how the progression should be

Dating◇Courtship◇Marriage.

Dating: This should be the period where you meet someone, you feel like you'd like to know them more, so you agree on a time and place to meet and discuss. You can do this as many times as you want... and with as many persons as you take interest in. This period should be devoid of sex and overt intimacies. This period should primarily be about learning more about the other person...their goals...vision...values...character...likes, dislikes, preferences...upbringing...family background...faith, etc. If all of these things tick and are in resonance with what you represent, and feelings develop, then you proceed to courtship.
N.B Persons who aren't looking at getting married in the nearest future should not bother about the dating phase. It is pointless. For how many years would you continue to have meetings and discuss with someone? This is where trouble and confusion begins. Don't ask to meet a person regularly if you're not looking at something purposeful... This dating period should be from 3 to 6 months max.

Courtship: So from all the persons you've been going on dates with, you may have found one who is most compatible with you...and who you've developed feelings for. This is the point where you can now state your intentions clearly and demand committment. This is when a proper relationship begins. It is purposeful. You have both agreed to marry each other. During this period you consolidate your plans. You reach agreements as to the number of kids you wish to have... you plan about finances, you decide on where you'd live...are you starting out with getting a house on mortgage? You'll start getting to know and build a relationship with the family of the other person... you learn even more about yourselves. You discuss self-development goals...long term family plans...you pray more...read more books on how to build a home and have a fulfilling marriage. You begin to save more towards marriage. At this stage, full commitment is required. It is no longer proper or acceptable for any party to entertain dates or advances from members of the opposite sex. You can discuss your sexual preferences. Co-habiting shouldn't be also. Sex is still not allowed at this point... overt intimacies should still not be. Little acts of fondness are allowed. Between the both of you, decide on the kind of marriage ceremony you want to have... then fix a date... after which you proceed to getting the rest of the family and church involved. Personally, I think it's foolhardy to plan a lucrative wedding when you don't have surplus money. You're just about starting a family... you'd need all the financial resources you can get. Don't spend it all on a wedding and start living from paycheque to paycheque. This period should last between 6 to 8 months.

Marriage Staying faithful to your vows... learning more about your partner...building the family.

I believe if we all stick to this order, we'd have less relationship problems and better marriages. I've come to realise that it's not ideal asking a person to stay committed to you when marriage isn't in view...or perhaps when one person has a different plan. ("Can two walk except they agree?"

* You're asking a person to be committed to you alone and you don't want them feeling entitled.

*You're asking a person to be committed to you
before you both have had the chance to know yourselves well enough. And then you start doing the bf/gf thing only to realise the other person has issues... and you want out, but you can't just do it because it's too early and you know you'll be hurting their feelings.

*You want a person to be committed to you alone and you haven't categorically stated what the end point is. What is the relationship supposed to be all about then? For lack of direction and purpose, y'all end up having sex...until you get tired of each other. That's why you see people in relationships having plan A, B, C.

There's so much to be said... if you do things the right way, you won't feel like you're having sex for free, nobody enters into an accidental marriage because someone got pregnant, she won't ask you for money, you owe her nothing...y'all are seeing other people, too. Nobody would feel short-changed...nobody would wonder if his/her time is being wasted. You'd choose better partners. The first form of any kind of "obligations" begin in courtship.

But you see, we conform a lot... we change and follow trends... it seems like nobody's willing to do things right, so you go with what's obtainable.

I haven't always done it right either. But think about it. We'd all be better off if we do things right... not all these perversions we've come to accept as norms...even when the consequences are staring at us right in the face.

Happy Sunday.

PrimadonnaO:
Don't you send emails?

frbona:
k

KristaPretty:
Do not classify everyone as same. If you need a partner, go for character. Do not go for looks, they can be deceiving and can fade away. Do not settle for less because all the ''pretty'' girls like you say have failed you. Marriage is something you need to settle down for with your head and mind. No one is average, it depends on what you want. Good luck.

I am a wife material but marriage de fear me, so NO thank you in advance

Meanwhile I made it to the first page, I made it in life finally!

Gulher:
are there people yet to be deployed?

Babyforever:
Hi are you the owner of that car ? If yes i'll like us to

refiner:

Corrosiveman:
Ten years challenge

Bossontop:

Blood of Abraham!!!!......chaiiii...mhen dix pix cannor waste laidat oo

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