₦airaland Forum

Its pathetic to actually say that i graduated from UNAD. I studied psychology from 2000-2006 unad, and I travelled immediately I finished my degree. However I needed to start my masters last year in overseas here and i could not get my results. This is so not fair. I am sure i completed all my course in fact my friend did my clearance for me and they collected my certificate stting i had 2'2 in psychology.
How in hell could they now come around and tell my mom that I didnt do one course? I mean isnt this so weird. my mom went to school to collect my transcript and she was told that i didnt do one course therefore id have to travel about 80000 miles back to nigeria to do it.
This is the most pathetic school ever. i tried speaking to the hod of psy dept but nothing is been done so far. its doing my head in. what do i do in this situation? How could they give me my certificate IF i didnt freaking pass all my exams? I dont get it
UUNAD is the worst school ever. I wouldnt advise my enemy to go there. seems like a waste of my 6 yrs in Uni, how pathetic. Im not gonna give up until this is resolved cause its not my fault.!!!

@ ezine,
wow
your story is so inspiring. Thanks so much for the input. I do feel for the girl, but having said this, the same thing could still happen if she had married an african. see even ibos and yorubas still have clashes. A lot of yoruba parents would not want their children to marry ibos, and the same with ibos, vice versa, so this life is not so easy sometimes. I guess one just has to go with what will make one happy in the long run cause I believe someday my parents will not be thee anymore. It will be me and my destiny, so why not choose what makes me happy regardless what anyone thinks

@drugdealer,
thanks!!!
Are you really a drug dealer or just a namelol
kidding

lmao, It goes to show how a lot of guys here re vain when it comes to looks. They get all defensive if a girls starts a thread about a cute guy, bashing that poor girl!

A cute person can have a great personality, but I too have noticed these days when people start ramblng off about personality of someone, then that person is not all that good looking.

It goes to show that hot men and women are dumb/no personality, while the ugly ones have great personality. Good combo

This is the way the world has been since Adam and eve's day. God created Adam first and made him the caretaker of the garden while he assigned eve as his partner to help him along the way

Remember men are from mars, and women re from Venus, we re completely different beings in thoughts, expressions, emotions and physically. Men re more leaned towards being the stronger sex, more determined sex, more decisive and they do the task easily and faster than a lot of women.
In saying this, women re trying their best too, and we contribute what we can to the society and world, some women re president and leaders in the society and their chosen profession, but all in all, men re stronger sex.

The quote " what a man can do, a woman can do better" is only to make women feel better about themselves. But its ok, we re not complaining. at least we do our best. In 100million yrs to come, men will still always be the stronger and more oppressing sex.

To be honest with ya, No, I cant

I'm not materialistic or vain, but at this stage in my life. I don't need a 'Manny' that I can boss around, feed, and control. Men who are not doing well financially are either very lazy, procrastinators or not educated. I would not feel too comfortable with the relationship. I like men who re very independent, successful (equal as me or more) and very social-conscious. a man who has nothing to offer will always feel intimidated by you, sometimes jealous of you, and they will be too easy to control.
You truly cant choose whom you fall in love with, but in the first place, a guy who has nothing to offer wont be attractive to me. some men re lazy bums and they re only after women who have money or are successful. Cant be bothered!

Its self explanatory OP.
She simply means she doesnt want anything to do with any guy for now, most especially 'you'
If you guys have been seeing for a while, thats her indirect, general way of saying to you that she needs her space. so Let her be, leave her alone and dont bother her anymore
you'll meet someone else

Definitely better to LOVE AND LOST than not to ever love at all.
Loving and losing makes you gain experience and learn lessons. It may be hard but you will get over it and be a better person from the experience.
However not trying something is worse because you never know what it feels like. You will be left wondering "what if i love, " or "what if i tried that?" and all sorts of "what ifs"

Trust me, to love and lost is better off. Its the same as taking risks and failing rather than not taking at all? which one would you do? Wont you rather take the risk and fail, so that you may learn from why you failed and how to be a better person, than not taking the risk because you fear failure, and are too scared to evem try, thus not learning a single thing

One advice in life. No matter what it is, go for it, if its that person you like, ask them out, the worst thing that cld happen is rejection, it doeskin matter, move on. You will learn from it.
Please don't be scared to try things or go for what you want, because you may end up wishing you had at the end of the day.

OP, did you mean "if you 'caught' them in bed together, or cough?
If you meant caught, then there's no excuse for cheating at all. They will still do it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Dump him and move on. Trust me, it may be hard but you will be a better person for it. a cheater is not worth your time.

@okotie800
Are you fucking kidding me!!!
Im dating a white european guy, not a 'FILIPINO'
I find it amusing that you just jumped into conclusions regarding the nationality of who im dating.

Thanks for your 'go ahead' stamp. you re a champion, you funny dude

@ arlington.

Thanks love
That was a nice advice. do you guys live in Nigeria?
I personally don't normally give a shit whether people on the street stare or not. Its a free world i guess. each to their own.

A friend of mine used to say ;
"You would worry less about what people think if you knew how little they did"

My only concern now is my parents, once they re on the right path with me, Let the world freak out and talk. It doesn't raise a single hair on my skin

yes you can love someone you don't trust

You know love is a very delicate thing! You cannot choose whom you fall in love with. A lot of people are hopelessly in love with people who they do not trust fully but they cant help themselves. They are always in denial, they will make excuses for them, they will forgive them, they will keep believing they will change, and deep down they will wish they can trust them more, and they will keep trying. This is love.

So yes, its very possible my friend!

Guys get heartbroken as much as girls, trust me.
I know a lot of guys who cried and wept for months because their love dumped them.
Its a 2-way thing. some girls are cold and wouldnt care or get heartbroken because they didnt love the guy much, so are some guys too who quickly move on to other people because they didnt care. But anyone who has experienced true love regardless of their sex (male or female) would definitely be heartbroken if dumped or cheated on. In saying this, many guys just find it easier to cry and mourn in silence, while women show it because they re very emotional.

When you love, nothing else matters, no one else matters no matter how beautiful or handsome they are. The thought of the person you love will always occupy your mind all day

@mwanamiwaa

Stop spamming please. This is nairaland, not kenyaland

Im surprised at the rate at which people openly bash ugly people on this forum. Remember God created us all. Its so wrong to make fun of people for their physical disadvantage. It hurts.

OP, I'd start off by saying you are very vain. In saying this, you shouldn't have even started to lead the poor girl on in the first place if you knew you wouldn't be able to bear spending the future with her. Its wrong to lead people on.

She may be the nicest person on earth, but you should know what you want, and not make her believe something will come out of it.
If you are goodlooking, or fairly goodlooking, there's a probability that the child may not be ugly if they take after you, but Its your choice at the end of the day. If you really dont feel any love for her, its beter to end it in a slow, friendly and natural way.

Don't give her reasons(not to hurt her ego), just slowly drift away, spend less time with her, and if you re even bold enough, you can let her know that its not working and its not her fault but yours.

lol @okotie400.
He's a funny guy. Thanks for offering your email address though.

@original9ja,
You never know what may come out of this. people meet for different reasons, I suggest you take up okotie's offer

@ fizzyybaba

Don't crucify me please. I didn't read the story well before my first comment. And no, I have never had an abortion before. God help me! I have no idea what the OP should do. Its a serious matter for him.
God is the best bet i guess, he should pray for God's guidance

Ok, i just read the "married for 7 yrs without an issue"
still, this is no reason for you to be the one to get her pregnant, your wife will still be very sad.

Having said this, I dont think the lady will want to abort the child. I mean 7yrs without a child. no sane woman will take that risk at all!
its a tough one,

I think your wife will have to know about this eventually. It will be tough but im sure you guys will resolve it one way or another.

Are you serious!!!
This is a serious matter. How could you even stoop so low to do this to your wife's sister, thats disgusting! Even if she seduced you, you should have been man enough to ward her off. And you shouldnt have been watching porn while she was there and your wife was at vigil, but the deed is done, solution is the nest step now,

You have to calm your wife's sister down, be nice, talk gently to her. Beg her as much as you can that she needs to consider your wife's feelings. Make her understand her action will ruin your life, your wife's life and your little child's life. persuade her to have the abortion, if you have to bribe your way out, do this, but be wise about it all. use your head.

I don't think your wife will be happy at all if she finds out. Poor lady. I feel for her. YOU really SUCK!
Try as i said to talk to her and lets see how it goes. goodluck dude!

I'm the hot type.
I laugh with him, hold him, hug him, kiss him, care for him, stroke his hair, look into his beautiful eyes lovingly, give him back scratches/rubs and massages, make him feel good, tell him how much I care, compliment him every time, and guess what? He does the same for me (even more). He is a happy man for this.

Why act cold if you love someone?? you will be the one losing.
Guys cant get into your heads, if you love them and are acting like you don't., then they will get the impression that you re not interested, and no matter how beautiful you re, they will get tired of trying to make it work, so they will move on, slowly drifting away from you. Then you'd be left wondering why this happened to you.
Why not just jump into it with all passion and open love if you really feel it. let your guards down and enjoy it while it lasts.
If the guy doesn't like this, then let him move on! Life goes on. do not deny yourself the joy of letting go and enjoying your relationship because of insecurity

@ oyinks

Do not worry. I know and understand you have some self-consciousness issue. Its normal. The scar on your body is not your fault. The moment you stop focusing on it, you'd be a better and more confident person for it. It may be tough for you, but trust me, any guy who finds you and your personality attractive and endearing enough to propose and want to be with you, he will surely overlook the scars and stuffs.

I'd let you on in a secret about people, 'SELF-CONFIDENCE' is the key. why do you wonder sometimes when you see a really ugly woman married to a gorgeous ladies man? Its because of her self confidence, self esteem, attitude and the way she makes him feel that made him stick to her. Its the other way with beautiful girls married to ugly guys.

If you have a great personality, bubbly, great attitude towards people. Be yourself, when you re naked with him, dont feel too self- conscious. If you act too shy or self conscious, he will start to feel uncomfortableOK?? Act like you have perfectly normal skin. this will make him even adore you more. Dont keep stressing or talking about your scars to him. once you have mentioned it to him before and he has waved it off as not important, then leave it! Dont discuss it ever again, no matter how self-conscious you feel.

ACT CONFIDENT IN BED WITH HIM. even if you re dieing of shyness, act like you re actually not worried, you will see his reaction.
Goodluck dear

the only reason women cheat are the same reasons men cheat,
Go figure

@ OP, just on a second thought. If you re not ready to have a child, you'd be better off using condoms all the time. Condoms don't only prevent pregnancy, but they also prevent you from contracting other venereal diseases or even worse, the deadly ones.
Use your head all the time,

lol @ ogidiboy

yes, next time a test is the best answer. No one can give you a definite answer

Goodluck

There is nothing wrong with you, BREATHE,
However you are what they call 'A LONER'
A loner is someone who prefers their own company better than being surrounded by other people. I don't think you are antisocial, because its not like you detest being in a social circle. you embrace it by just dont feel the need to be there all the time.
There is nothing wrong with you as long as you re comfortable sitting on the couch all day watching tv (and missing the most exciting things in the outside world - life). If you dont feel any sense of shyness to mix with others or any kind of depression that you are stuck in your own world, then you should be alright.

I used to have a friend who would rather spend his time by himself all the time. he would go to the mountains alone for days, camp alone for several days and hardly ever socializes. to me this is weird, but its his life and people can make their choices as they want.

lol @ the first girl who answered. Yes it was pretty long, but its worth it in the long run. Next time, try to summarize it though. a lot of people get bored reading way too long topics.

You are sort of right about that. Its just that sometimes it may not be so easy for some women. they have tried it all, but have been hurt, dumped and treated badly by the wrong guys, no matter how influential, confident and focus these women are.
Being dumped or used is not a good thing, it creates low self-esteem and self doubt within the victim and this goes on t affect them continuously in their relationships until they are willing to accept that its a cycle of relationship and a better person will definitely come along to cherish and love them for the great person that they are.

@ romeo4real
you were dead on right on most of your points! way to go buddy!!!

@ gozilla
You nailed it, !!!

@okotie400

I do understand where you re coming from with your point. You are right in a way that, anyone in this life has to answer your questions regardless of whether they re white on black or black on black. Im not disputing the fact that you have made a good point. yes, we all have to be sure we can live the rest of our lives with out prospective others, before we make big decisions about spending the rest of our lives with them.
But My own point is that "It doesnt matter what color that person is. If it will last, it will, if not, it will end in disaster, regardless of the 'COLOR'
Do you understand where I'm coming from as well?
Thanks for the input though!

@merge.

I have heard several times from many people that black guys love fat white women. Im not sure if this is true. You gotta ask the boys this,
I think it may be based on the fact that a lot of african women re curvy and very voluptous, and they always say more cushion for the pushing, maybe this is why the black men go for the fat white women who have big butts, wide hips and large front. I have no idea why

But ive seen a few african guys with slim/attractive white girls.
each to their own i guess

@ origina9ja

God bless your soul dear
Thanks for the amazing input. You are awesome
I agree wholeheartedly with your points, and Choosing one's happiness matters most.
cheers

By the way, STD's, HIV etc is coming to get her as well. If a girl is that cheap, no self control. she'd be better off on the streets (thats where she belongs) You should be thankful to almighty God that you're done with her. Seriously!!!
It doesn't matter if she thinks she dumps you, let her believe so, she's not worth your time and efforts anymore,

Its a good letter if thats what she did!
You are a cool, calm and collected guy, and you sound like you have your head screwed on the right way!
The girl you eventually settle with will cherish and adore you, and will be a lucky bitch (excuse my language)

Don't forget to end your letter with

"karma is a bitch and its coming to get you"