₦airaland Forum

@ rancetech, is that your pic or the horrific guy's pic? If its your pic, then yes, you re built enough to confront any big scary guy, if that's the pic of the other guy, then, you'd be better off letting it go, cause he looks like he can beat the hell out of you,
peace!

I just think he might be the 'too serious' type. Maybe he doesnt believe in too much of affection and sex. Girl, there's nothing wrong with you. A lot of guys would kill to have someone like you as their gf. If you have to intiate intimacy all the time, then I don't think thats too good. He has to show he's down sometimes too.
I reckon you should just talk to him about it, and that it bothers you a little bit.

You re not a pervert. A pervert is someone you dont know who is consistently showing you unwanted attention or intimacy. This cannot be the same in your case. you two re an item.
A nypho however is someone who cannot do without sex, addicted to sex basically like drugs, its like they will die if they dont have sex several times a day, its a serious case as well. I'm sure you re not this huh

If he doesn't change, im not sure you two are meant to be, seriously. because this may pose a big problem in the future. something for you to think about

ummm, did she say they had an affair while she lived with him during her youth service? It depends really. as long as you both trust each other, then I dont think you should worry much about it, excpet if she gives you a reason not to trust her. Just pay close attention to her and her interaction with this other guy.
Also let her understand that she cannot keep seeing him often because its not easy for a man who's getting married soon seeing his partner being so close to another male. There will be jealousy, set the boundaries there. Go and meet this guy, watch their attitude towards each other, and their body language.

But you have to trust you gf, dont jump into conclusions, believe her words 'until' she gives you a reason not to. Thats what love is about

@ justwise, I quote, "What do u know about Internet dating? u still living in 1908, wake up. Nothing wrong with internet dating, depend on who u dealing with"

I do know a lot, ok? You dont know me so don't judge me to start with. I dont live in 1908 neither do i live in Nigeria, but Im aware of a lot of things.
Just take an example of the guy who's called walestar whos posting a sex offer on this topic for an instance. Isnt this a typical sample of what I was referring to?

Nairaland for one is NOT a dating site. there re reputable dating sites online, so I dont care if she signs up, but I only gave her a piece of my mind, at then end of the day, its her life, and she can do whatever she wants with it.

I'm not attacking Nigerian men here. Perverts and jerks are everywhere all over the world, their easiest bait/preys are girls who are easily manipulated online/internet (for their desperation for partners), they can get them easily and hook,line sinker, they re gone.

She'd be better off meeting people face to face in social settings, even if it doesn't work out, you know that you both met in real lives and move on.

As i said, its her life, just my own piece of advice,

If after the girl told him she was in the hospital, then he yelled at her; This is not a very good bf. A good bf who cares about his gf/partner will be there for her especially in terms of crisis.
I would dump a guy who yells at me when Im down at the hospital with chest pain. Bad sign, not a good potential future partner:

stubborn girls can change. However they dont need another stubborn partner.
they re better off with patient, understanding and firm guy (not too quiet or dumb)
These guys can change them slowly.
Love can also change these girls. The power of love is absolutely mind-blowing, it can do anything!

Just be yourself. Me thinks someone else has posted a similar topic. You cant win someone's love just like that, you can only gain their interest or affection, love comes with time.
Just be yourself, be sincere, nice, loving, confident, say what you mean, mean what you say, show little gestures of affection (little things do matter), like helping her with little chores, buying her flowers, opening doors, pulling out chairs, listen to her when she is talking, show interest in her life, be genuine, and I think the others will fall into place if you are both meant to be!

@onenaija

Why does it bother you so much if someone is insulting others. Looks to me like you look at every post just to find what other people re doing huh? Just read, have a laugh, leave your own positive comment and ignore the ignorant. If they know better, they wont be harsh on others. Some people need to understand that these people who post questions are in need of 'outside' help/opinions on whats bothering them, they don't need anymore insults or unpleasant words.
In my post, i only read the answers that make sense to me, that is those who were smart enough to give me intelligent advice, and I overlooked the others.
its as easy as that

lol at the way you put your question

in all sincerity, if the guy who slapped her is much more bigger and fiercer looking than you, you just gotta let it go or else, he'll beat you up to and you'd look like a fool

just console ur gf and take her away, buy her more stuffs and make her forget

@OP

dump her! you deserve better. she's a selfish bitch

OK, now you harbor the thoughts of 'machine-gunning' down your gf because she would rather fic her hair over your match? Isn't this taking things to extremes?

Yes she should have ignored all other important things to attend your match. were you the one actually boxing or were you just a spectator? if you were one of the boxers then yes, its definitely important that she attends.

Maybe shes not so much into you i guess, Id watch her closely, make sure she's not just using you. a girl who cares about a guy would go to any length to make him happy. Hair would be unimportant

@ hollandis,

Its not about women being sympathetic to their fellow women, to be honest, what goes around comes around. Even if these 'loose' women eventually snag a trophy husband, something will still be missing in their lives eventually later in life. No one does bad and goes Scot free.

lol, How can a girl propose and then back off after 3 days? she sounds like she doesn't know what she wants or is insecure.
Id let her go, no need to convince her, if she liked you enough, she will be back once you ignore her. Got it??

are you serious? who is cossie oju pls?
hmm, some people can do anything for foreign 10grand these days. God help us

yes they deserve to be married. everyone deserves to be married no matter how bad or good they have lived their lives. You cant choose whom you fall in love with at all. you see a lot of good guys marrying these "around the block" girls. Thats life. nothing anyone can do about it.

Infact, these girls get better men when they re ready to settle down. That just backs up the saying that, good people get good things last.
sorry, irony of life!

@sistawoman, you re kinda wise.
How old re you if i may ask

You dont need to punish a guy for not doing the things he promised to do, like not calling you when he said he will. Give it time, and if he breaks his promises consistently, you have to understand that he may be busy depending on his job, if that's not the case, talk to him one on one, and let him know gently how you feel, make your concerns knwn to him, if after all these he doesn't change, then maybe he's not the one for you my friend. Move on.
Remember punishment/revenge backfires. it may come back to bite you in the ass, so stay clear of it, and move on to someone who will appreciate you better, its his loss!

@ miss jerkmiss, OP

You dont come looking for a life partner, the father of your future children, and someone you want to spend the rest of your life with on nairaland site! Why do you belittle yourself so much?
The men you will attract here are people who re just out to make fun of you, use you or even lie to you. C'mon you have to be smarter than that.
You may be brigning problems on yourself with this advert, you will attract all kinds of jerks. some men re looking for women to use as their voodoo, be careful you re in nigeria.
I wish you luck, better to delete this post if you truly put your real phone number and email address

@ alfhyche,

why do you employ such tactics to make a girl stay with youThat is soooo wrong!
I wonder why these girls still stay after you pretend you re cheating on them. If you care about someone, dont play games with their heart or mess with their head, its not fair. please!
Just be yourself

Dont bother with a cheat dear.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. eewww
you can do better than that. dust your self esteem and get back into the market.
Remember, he will hurt you badly if this goes on, because when you start expecting more from him (like commitment and marriage), thats when he will bolt and run away, leaving you heartbroken.

You ended your complaint with "nonsense, yeye people"
This is a case of black pot calling kettle black.
What you should understand is that people re different. Its not only naija forum, its forums everywhere all over the world. some people re members just to pick on other people, some re there to make you look dumb with your questions, some re empathetic and re very wise, they advise you accordingly. Why don't you just ignore the ones that insult you. Its not like they know you personally, they re only a little ignorant. make good use of the good advise and ignore the others.
Live and let live!!! Thats the motto of life

@ TAYO-UK

Thanks for the wonderful insertion! That was brilliant.
I hope our parents will loosen up. Its both ways, some white parents are not comfortable with their children marrying outside their race as well, I guess its just cause of the way our parents were all brought up. They have failed to realize that this is 21st century and things re changing, not the way they used to be.

All in all, I guess one's happiness matters most

thanks LUXOIRE!

@ jamaicanqt

UMMM, why do you think its better for a black girl to date a white guy and not the other way round?
As you said black guys always act as if the white girls re the best achievement they have had so far in their lives, I dont know if this is true, at least not from where I live.
Is that how the black guys act around white girls in nigeria

These re good tips, I think it works both ways, if you do most of these things for a guy as well, he will be forever yours plus cook him nice meals once a while, give him nice massage when he has worked really hard, not nag him, encourage him, be there for him, be patient with him and give him mind blowing sex. he's all yours

@humbleboy. Thanks for your help

If i see a black man and a white guy who treat me equally nice, I would honestly go for the one I'm more attracted to, regardless of the skin color. There would be something that strikes me more in one of them to make me choose them.
No, a black man doesnt have to do more or make more efforts to get my attention. I guess growing up, I have always found myself more into white men. So maybe this is the reason, it gew intensely as I got older and moved overseas

ITS POSSIBLE BUT she has to be like a TOTAL BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN/MUSLIM or VERY VERY UGLY. seriously, this is the truth. Why do you need a virgin anyway, there re a lot of experienced good girls around, not whores or cheap ones.
Virgins re too much hassles anyway, and there's a probability once she tastes it when you get married to her, she may cheat on you.
Just my opinion

I havent read other people's replies before I posted mine. Hey its a guy thing to look. Dont you know guys are visual creatures? If they see anything attractive, their senses re at alert, they appreciate. This doesnt mean he wants to leave you or likes the other girl better.
If you want to maintain a good relationship with your boyfriend, you gotta accept the fact that they will look. some look in oblivious ways, quick ways, or they do it when you re not there. But when he starts gaping, mouth opened or looking like he's been lost, then its getting way out of hand, you have to slap some senses into his head. But if its just a normal quick glance, then its fine.
I look at attractive guys when im with my boyfriend, this doesnt change how i feel for him.
PEACE!

wow, How could you even stay with someone like this? You dont need our advice. You gotta use your common sense. she s not into you.
Look, Id tell you from a girl's perspective. My blood sister has done something like that before to a guy. she didnt like him much, but didn't have the nerve to break it up with him, so she was seeing other people while still with this guy. I didn't like this, but hey, it was her life.

It came back to bite her in the ass, as a guy did this to her as well, so karma is a bitch. Move on, don't even bother to explain what she did, just move on and find someone who would treat you better. she's a cheating bitch. However you can choose to remain in the relationship if you are used to girls treating you like crap, but you will never experience true or special love. You deserve better than that, move on!

Goodluck