₦airaland Forum

bunmioguns: you are welcome, see anoda version it....





Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.











One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,

A mute man came to shout "Horray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise and

Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,

In a two-story house on a vacant lot;

A man with no legs came walking by,

and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;

The long black hearse came to cart him away,

But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,

The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;

But if you doubt my lies are true,





Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

And this is the JYoke

This election was rigged so election tribunal should be set up

bigtt76: Wetin concern us? Dog wey one die no de hear hunter whistle.

But if him come crash on top of your house now?

Where is the dislike button?

My New Year's Resolution:
ON NL:
1. Try to be the first to comment
2. Never to mention garri again
3. To get at least 24 bans before the end of the year, and
4. At least 6 of my topics must make it to the front page.

PERSONAL:
1. No self Service, and
2. Get a fianceeeee

Incase I forget, Nairaland is owned by Oluwaseun Osewa(2005-2012)

GEJ should rename Nairaland.
Meanwhile Nairaland is owned by Oluwaseun Osawe(2005-2012)

QEFRAN6: Yes ofcourse,very easy cos I started it right from wen I was a child...Abasi Ete,ye eyen,ye Edisana Spirit,unofien ekom ye itoro ye ubong ke afidafid se anam ano mien ye ufok nyin, ye ufok abasi, ye obio nyin naigeria ke isua 2012 ami,bo itoro ye ekom ke enyin obong nyin Jesus Christ,Amen...
if u need more,let me knw

Da amme try

Let me be the first to propose to the girl.
Please will you marry me?

preshuzpearl: Y do people always attach girls to money all d tym. I think its a very big misconception.. And rili embarassing.
guys who do not know how to form sensible relationships by looking out for good qualities in ladies pick some 50kobo coins from purewater sales and suceed in getting helpless girls. then they come here to shout that ladies love money. Pls be warned oh. My feminity is seriously insulted!!

I have met 2 girls who defined love strong feeling of affection, and their affection was = money.

dirtymoney: 10. Let's be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and go out with. I appreciate the male perspective.

So na so I mumu? This girl has been telling me this all this while and I can't decode.

I wish Nigeria what she wish herself.

How will one distinguish a Quarel and Comedy btw 2 Comedians. "A twitter of a thousand laugh" should be the title of this comedy.

Hope my english no go break una ears.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
I've just adjusted my generator from 180V-220V.
Hurray!!!

Is adultery different from any other sin like lying etc?
As for me, I will contact ICC because
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Love covers everything.

take dat: This is no cheering news cos its another opportunity for PDP chieftains, governors and his well wishers to do a fund raiser or allocate public fund to build a more befitting "fire proof" house for him.

where nigerians dey carry of this sense sef?

2012, my worst year on Nairaland. None of my post make it to the FP instead I received multiple ban.
In 2013 I'm quiting the Joke section to Agric section(hope there is one on NL else Seun will create one). I have to go to a more serious section where I'll be recognise.

This question is acidic. Highly corossive. Let me think.....
Thinking... Loading...0.01%

Many people think cats and dogs can not live peacefully together. In fact, someone once coined the phrase “fighting like cats and dogs” and there is obviously some truth to the statement, as it’s been around for awhile. Well, it’s true that some cats and dogs will not make good housemates. They are two different animals with two different distinctive personalities that will not necessarily blend. However, under the right conditions, many cats and dogs can live together in perfect harmony.
The majority of cats can happily coexist with a dog if they are given time to comfortably get to know each other. If a puppy and kitten are raised together, they generally will learn right away to tolerate each other, and some cats and dogs grow to be real friends,
even playing and napping together.
However, if a dog is already an established member of the household and a new cat or
kitten is going to join the family, certain precautions need to be taken.
When you first introduce a cat and dog, make sure the cat is at the dog’s eye level.
You should also keep a firm grip on both animals, which will make them feel more comfortable and provide them with a sense of security. If one of the animals seems either aggressive or frightened, immediately remove the cat and try again at a later time.
You don’t want to force the situation by pushing them before they’re ready, as this will only make matters worse. If you take a
few minutes several times a day to give the cat and dog this carefully supervised time together, you should soon see them feeling more relaxed around each other.
Never leave a cat and dog alone together until you are certain that they are comfortable with each other. If you walk away while they are still checking each other
out, you may be sorry when you return. The cat or dog could be scratched or bitten or otherwise injured. Even if there are no visible wounds, an unsupervised interaction like that could traumatize an animal so badly
that he remains terrified of other animals for the rest of his life.
Even if a cat is not opposed to all dogs and doesn’t mind seeing one from a distance now and then, he may have a particular dislike for a specific dog living in his home.
Similarly, many people could happily cohabitate with any roommate… except for one particular person that would drive them crazy. Some cats are the same way. A cat may just dislike one particular dog. This may be the case if you’ve devoted a lot of time
and patience to trying to get a cat and dog comfortable with each other, but the scratching and hissing aren’t letting up.
If you are ready for a new kitten or cat to join your family, help your dog get accustomed to the idea, too. Under strictly supervised conditions, allow the cat and dog
to sniff and inspect each other to their hearts’ content. This interaction should get them used to each other in no time. If,
however, they seem to be incapable of getting along, you may need to reevaluate your pet situation.

Most employment agencies only concentrate on Bsc, xometimes B.A and at no point mention others like B. Agric etc

Marriage? God forbid

WHAT I HAVE LEARNT ON NAIRALAND SO FAR:
1. I have succesfully learnt how to insult: I can recalled when my Boss sent me on an errand I questioned him how the errand will affect the price of garri in the market. This question handed me 5 days surcharge.
2. I have learnt about garri dynamics.
3. I have learnt how to type much faster in order to be the first to comment.
4. I have learnt how to banqueried my co- workers from Sexkillz, Mukina and his royal Highestness Seun

Pls can this be move to the joke section?

Box your enemy

@OP, u dey lie i got my gloves, heading straight to d ring for BOXing

And this is the opposite
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_converts_to_Christianity_from_Islam http://mobile.wnd.com/2012/07/book-200000-muslims-convert-to-christianity/

And these r some of the murderers. ***calling*** 911.

What a Bloody day!!! Report reaching us states that more than 12000 chickens lost their life today in the city of Abuja, murdered in cold blood this morning by heartless Xmas celebrants, The number of casualty is more than that of Boko haram and the Taliban terrorists, We are still gathering reports of dead birds around the world for the records, tell us how many birds were murdered in your area today? Please answer