₦airaland Forum

Actually this is my second time viewing this thread, first time I was such in a hurry and failed to settle down and read this beautiful piece.

Lovely write up. I think the moderator of this forum should create another forum, and name it Nairaland2 or something. This one should be for sensible posts only and write ups like this that will provoke our very best thoughts. Hence, No romance, jokes, arsenal, or other sections that just clog the forum and make us miss stuff like this.

@ Poster, my advice for you is to put a lot of effort to finish with your first class degree. Its Elect Engr for dat matter. When you finish, lots of opportunities await you. Don't get confused with the mentality associated with the people around you that the Nigerian economy is bad, and hence u cant make it.

True, with a first class degree from a Nigerian university just alone, u really cant make 'the difference', but believe me, the degree puts you in a better position to get a great job, or scholarship opportunities to top universities in the world, then u can make 'the difference' ur talking about.

Kobojunkie:
I am not in anyway blaming these people for praising the man. For all I know, these people have never really experienced better or do not understand that they are the BOSS in this case and so this sort of behaviour is not suprising.

For all I know, u may not have tasted elsewhere as much as some of us have. So stop blabbing. Praising the man for doing good doesn't mean we do not recognize that good is the norm.

When an 'slowpoke' starts to talk an act normally, should we not praise and encourage him? Or we should just keep quiet because 'after all, all humans ought to act normal'?

Excuse my analogy if it doesn't fit. Just get the point.

Builder:
How sad!!!, that just goes to show the Deterioration  of trust  we have of our leaders to the extent that if the selected leader in question remotely does anything to improve the standard of the people he is meant to serve and protect he is seen as a "messiah"  WHAT A COUNTRY.

How many people have called him a 'Messiah'? Just the poster.
What a country? The same country you are from, and the same country we are trying to make better. With minds like Fashola, me, and many others, we can do it.

nuzo:
Messiah?  
If this 'tittle' was based on the nigerian standard or the usual nigerian expection, i may not debate that. But if it was based on a normal standard; then i'm afraid the poster is a joker.

Kindly elaborate on what u call the 'normal standard', and how fashola is not meeting up to your terms.
If you fail to do this b4 the end of today, I'm afraid u have just called urself a 'joker'.

blokoncept:
do you think this is a scheme to pave way for his future ambition of something higher.
do not be decieved.

Deceived by what? and what scheme are u talking abt? Even if he is paving for something higher, with the way he has effectively managed 'something smaller', He definately has the support of the masses, even if na president, he go better pass Yaradua.

The guy is simply too much. He is a performer. We need people like that everywhere in Nigeria.

gabrywyl:
@Topic, I don't get rejected. NEVER!

I'm happy for you.

@ Poster, keep ur head up. better opportunities still await you. Meanwhile, to ease things up since that is not the end of the world, u can do like me and send this letter below to whoever rejected you.

Dear ___,

Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.

I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.

Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time. As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month.  Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on file in case my requirements for rejection change.

Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Yours Sincerely,
Server 34.

@Poster, go and read your books.

That is by no means brain drain, it is just job availability. Did they tell u that if such people receive another job offer that suits their profession they will look back at the bank?

debughu:
guy,i schooled in Unilag.never vouch for any woman.
she is only urs when she's with u.

Nice1. I finished from Unilag too, so I understand clearly where ur coming from. Maybe u even be my guy sef who knows? Anyway, av been there, done dat! So when I say I can vouch for this particular one, u know av got my facts right, and my game tight. Should u have any problem with dat?

Back to the topic, am presently in paris now, and the only thing I need 2 do to seduce is (1) speak a little french with an english accent (2) Just act cool and reserved. So u see, seduction comes in different forms depending on the particular lady, and the general mentality in the locality u find urself in.

But for Lagos all u need to do is spend some money, silverbed, shoprite etc. For Abuja, just act like a very wake up Lagos boy. For Portharcourt, spend some money and claim oil company staff. For Calabar, just be a fine boy, dress good, and have some pocket money for little hangouts.

In general, For Nigeria u just need MONEY!!!

chika98:
Maybe he goes after Unilag chics.

Lol. Nice1. How u take know? But are they not all the same? Anyway my Girlfriend is the best thing dat has happened to me. Surprisingly, she is in Unilag, and she is totally unlike wat I described earlier. You can ask her how seductive I am. lol.

I was just talking from a general point of view. But come to think of it, if all ladies were like my sweetheart, this thread wouldn't exist. Lol. Pls don't hate.

Imagine a Nigeria where it is considered an insult to give money to a lady.
Where the guy does not necessarily have to pay whenever he goes out with a lady.
Imagine a Nigeria when a girl calls you without you having to send a recharge card.
Imagine a Nigeria where Feb 14 is for mutual exchange of gift between a couple, and not 1 lady receiving various packages from different 'aristos'.

, the list goes on and on.

The moment u can imagine all those things, na then u go sabi say Nigerian men are inherently seductive. Shey na seduce una dey find? Una go tire.

Dats it point blank. There's no point being seductive or trying to seduce because wen another man carry money come, she go waka. The materialism of (most) Naija women has ruled out the need for Naija men to be seductive, all u need is 'ego'.

Pourquoi cette thread ne marche plus? J'aime le thread. Je suis a Paris maintenant. Je travaille chez Total. J'ai appris le langue a l'aliance francais, Ikeja avant j'arrive a paris. Je m'appelle server34, lol.

Est-ce qu'il ya personne qui est a paris aussi? Especiallment, les filles. Les filles du Nigeria me manques beaucoup. Contactez-moi, je vais vous appeller.

Bisses.

Let me have her phone number. I will revenge for you. After I finish, she will so much appreciate you, u can then have her back. Deal?

PHEMOUR:
Applause my guy

. . . . bowing!! Thank u, thank u.

Instead of make una dey advocate for the future of pidgin, una dey criticize. This piece here go make some pipu sabi d kain global recognition wey this our language get.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Nigerian Pidgin is an English-based pidgin or creole language spoken as a kind of lingua franca across Nigeria that is referred to simply as "Pidgin", "Broken English" or "Brokan". It is often not considered a creole language since most speakers are not native speakers, although many children do learn it early. Nonetheless it can be spoken as a pidgin, a creole, or a decreolised acrolect by different speakers, who may switch between these forms depending on the social setting. Its superstrate is English with Hausa, Yoruba and Igbo as the main substrate languages. Ihemere (2006) reports that Nigerian Pidgin is the native language of approximately 3 to 5 million people and is a second language for at least another 75 million. Nigerian Pidgin is also spoken across West Africa, in countries such as Ghana, and Cameroon.

Variations

Each of the 250 or more ethnic groups in Nigeria can converse in this language, though they usually have their own additional words. For example, the Yorùbás added the words 'Şe' and 'Abi' to the language. These are often used at the start or end of an intonated sentence or question. For example, "You are coming, right?" becomes "Şe you dey come?" or "You dey come abi?" Another example the Igbos added the word, "Nna" also used at the beginning of some sentences to add effect to the meaning of their sentence. For example, "that test was hard" becomes "Nna men, dat test hard no be small".

Nigerian Pidgin also varies from place to place. Dialects of Nigerian Pidgin may include the Lagos, Onitsha, Benin City, and Ibadan dialects. There is also the Warri dialect which includes a lot of slangs that are constantly being added and replaced. Sometimes the language may vary even in different parts of the same city.

Similarity to Caribbean dialects

Nigerian Pidgin, along with the various pidgin and creole languages of West Africa, displays a remarkable similarity to the various dialects of English found in the Caribbean. Linguists hypothesize that this stems from the fact that the majority of slaves taken to the New World were of West African origin, and many words and phrases in Nigerian Pidgin can be found in Jamaican Creole (also known as Jamaican Patois or simply Patois) and the other creole languages of the West Indies. The pronunciation and accents often differ a great deal, mainly due to the extremely heterogeneous mix of African languages present in the West Indies, but if written on paper or spoken slowly, the creole languages of West Africa are for the most part mutually intelligible with the creole languages of the Caribbean. The presence of repetitious phrases in Jamaican Creole such as "su-su" (gossip) and "pyaa-pyaa" (sickly) mirror the presence of such phrases in West African languages such as "bam-bam", which means "complete" in the Yoruba language. Repetitious phrases are also present in Nigerian Pidgin, such as, "koro-koro", meaning "clear vision", "yama-yama", meaning "disgusting", and "dorti-dorti", meaning "garbage". Furthermore, the use of the words of West African origin in Jamaican Patois, such as "boasie" (meaning proud, a word that comes from the Yoruba word "bosi" also meaning "proud" and "Unu" - Jamaican Patois or "Una" - West African Pidgin (meaning "you people", a word that comes from the Ibo word "unu" also meaning "you people" display some of the interesting similarities between the English pidgins and creoles of West Africa and the English pidgins and creoles of the West Indies, as does the presence of words and phrases that are identical in the languages on both sides of the Atlantic, such as "Me a go tell dem" (I'm going to tell them) and "make we" (let us). Use of the word "deh" or "dey" is found in both Jamaican Patois and Nigerian Pidgin English, and is used in place of the English word "is" or "are". The phrase "We dey foh London" would be understood by both a speaker of Patois and a speaker of Nigerian Pidgin to mean "We are in London". Other similarities, such as "pikin" (Nigerian Pidgin for "child" and "pikney" (or "pikiny"--Jamaican Patois for "child" and "chook" (Nigerian Pidgin for "poke" or "stab" which corresponds with the Jamaican Patois word "jook" further demonstrate the linguistic relationship.

Homophones

The most important differences to other types of English is that there are only some consonants, vowels (6) and diphthongs (3) used. This produces a lot of homophones (words sound the same with different meanings), like thin, thing and tin which are all three pronounced like /tin/. This circumstance gives a high importance to the context, the tone, the body speech and any other ways of communication for the distinction of the homophones.

Examples

* Wetin dey happen means What is happening?
* I no no, I no know, Me no no or Me no know means I don't know
* Come chop means Come & eat
* How Far? means whats up? or hi
* babe means fine girl or chick
* show means meet up with me
* Yarn or Yarning means to talk
* I no know wetin u dey yarn means I don't know what you are talking about
* No dey yarn okpas for hia means stop talking trash or nonsense in here
* I don pay you means I have paid you
* No Shaking means No Problem
* Sharraap thia means shut up
* this your tori get K-leg means your story is suspicious
* You no sabi wetin you dey yarn means you don't know what you are talking about
* Abeg make una check dis one out means please come check this out
* Hia means here
* you no sabi di tin wey we dey tok means you can't understand what we are talking about
* The tin you just yarn don vex me finish means what you just said has pissed me off
* Man dey go sleep means i am leaving or going to sleep
* The babe dey do iyanga means the girl is playing hard to get
* Nna make we gist means lets talk or gossip
* Make i gist you wetin happen means lets me tell you what happened
* That kain maths e get as e be means that kind of math is hard to understand or explain
* I go wooze you finish means that i will slap you silly
* I dey cut out means am going out
* make una come means you all should come
* we dey hia means we are here
* Na nothing means it's nothing
* " I no sabi" means I can't do it or I don't know


French Influence

Some French words are also included in Nigerian pidgin. For example, the word "boku" in pidgin means "a lot" and comes from the french word beaucoup.

spenchuks:
see formings

Abeg my people make una no vex oh, no be forming (I didnt mean to). It was just to make some silly noisemakers to mind their business.
Carry go jare, Madonna people.

LOL. I'm just chilling here laughing at d 2 idiots. They think they are better of than Madonna graduates.

@ Hesperus. How far jare? If only they knew where we had our undergrad, that crackhead smoking crack all over JD wouldnt even dare. Not even where we got d masters from, if he knew he'd logoff nairaland and go get some education.

Maybe because u got ur dreamjob (as chief gateman) with only ur SSCE certificate. Ask Madonna Graduates who hold valuable positions in top companies in d industries if they have colleauges with only ur kind of certificate.

Besides, isn't the school in ur Okija village? Y u come dey deny am for nairaland?

MrCrackles:
absolute fallacy

the first time i heard about the school and its name, i cried for 10hours!

Ki ni big deal over the name of a school? Does that in anyway qualify the school academically? And did they tell u it was named after the pop star? What if M.A.D.O.N.N.A. is just an acronym for something valuable to the founder(s)?

You had better be crying for 10hrs because you never attended a University. Nonsense!

See who's calling sum1 jobless. ROFLMAO!!!!!

MrCrackles:
you caught Brash on a good day to be honest so i wont get involved or stucked stuck in your pool of random foolishness and buffoonery (means d same)

Let me know wen ur having a bad day. I'll be back.

MrCrackles:
he loves the attention so i would let him have his few minutes of fame before he gets fucking banned again!!

'Smart slowpoke' (as u call urself). U miss d point again (as always). I'm not after fame (if dats wat u call ur notoriety for being dumb), and you can tell because I don't post replies unless necessary, and untill a Crackhead buffoon stepped on my toes. What amazes me is ur over 3000 posts, all senseless, lacking originality, lacking creativity and no meaningful contribution, ur just a waste of bandwith. It'll be better you just sit quiet and read about wat young and smart people have to contribute, and learn from them.

. . . . . . . .  Going back into my shell. Dont provoke me with rubbish posts anymore okay? Be a good boy!

MrCrackles:
Deal with him HR!

Silly MrCrackles ur here again? Dats all u can contribute? Reporting to HR (moderator) because he's Hot? Is there a rule that disqualifies Hot people on nairaland? I've told u neva 2 post anything dumb on this forum again. This is the last warning!

HR.hotness:
no wonder there r many guys on this forum seeking "true friends" and asking what to do to get a girl

LOL

HR.hotness:
this had better be some kind of joke oh, because it is pretty depressing to think that i attract these kinds of people

LOL. Wats wrong wit the guy? I think he's soooo romantic.  

@ poster!

I thot I was d only 1 hating on this MrCrackles guy. I just stumbled upon the dumb guy today on nairaland, and today hasn't been d same since then. Been wondering how some1 could be so silly yet overly sabi-sabi.

I didn't even know d clown had an history here. Better never post anything dumb again u hear? Am out for u now. U got me outta my shell.

Hissssiiing!!!!!!!

True dat. Av also worked in a bank before now. There's d pressure, but there's also d good sides to it. If ur good at it, the sky is ur limit. Those who are in it because they love the profession are the ones that excell d most, if ur working in a bank just because of ur monthly salary, then ur sure neva a happy fellow.

@ iceblue, My bad. Kinda sober now. twas really fast. slmao.

MrCrackles:
u deserved that you dumb slowpoke!!

Smart slowpoke!!! Have u ever come up with something original or at least constructive on this forum? No! All you do is insert silly smileys and report to moderator. U should be banned!!! rofl.

Back to topic jare! Now am thinking why do girls get raped?

MrCrackles:
haha
sour grapes

Snitch! 1-liner, lacking creativity.

Its not fair the way I was banned from the forum because of a simple joke dat was aimed at provoking friendly reactions. If you go on banning people each time they tell a joke, what happens to the other times that they contribute meaningfully to the forum? Kindly do the needful.