₦airaland Forum

friendlyadvice: too late he has ruined it for me already

@op who tell you say washington is unaffordable

you dare ask me that kind of question

U know who i be? Two words Benin Boy dont be surprised if i tell you i have a relative in every continent

in washington NOT newyork(thank God) 2014
It’s spring in America’s unaffordablecapitol city, and chris evans ( the avenger no one gives a flying f*ck about) is being boring as usual when all of a sudden his conji-radar catches sight of a sweaty muscular super sexy chocolate anthony mackie jogging in slow motion( a tribute to homo fans)then just like an usher raymond music video chris evans smooths his way over to anthony mackie to lay the game proper guys watch and learn
chris evans
(Does a chris brown dance around girl routine)hey! i know you are running away from a cop but excuse me nigger i saw you from across the road
anthony mackie
Cop? Nigger? Chris brown dance routines? Is this because i am black?
chris evans
yea a little game we used to play in the 40s u mean they dont do "pick a nigger up" anymore?
anthony mackie
Er...........no
chris evans
yea right lemme guess burning crosses on niggers porches is now illegal
Anthony mackie
well actually it is a hate crime now!
Chris evans
really? what about niggers at the back of the bus No more niggers at the back of the bus?
Anthony mackie
damn no man what? Have you been like under a cave all these years
Chris evans
more like trapped in ice
Anthony mackie
whatever
Chris evans
So the black dude all those secret service agents escourt around washington isnt the presidents personal shoe shiner or something
anthony mackie
buddie that's the president
chris evans
Oh! My bad
Narrator
Marvel notice the audience falling asleep and deploys SCARLETT JOHANSSON and her lips ( the only good thing about this movie) to pick captain america up

scarlett johanssen
Yo, Chris! Its Time to suit up!
Narrator
They head to some luxury yacht which is actually a s.h.i.e.l.d navy workstation
French speaking terrorists have captured this vessel and are holding s.h.i.e.l.d's super spies hostage? Perhaps they are the trainees and b*tches of s.h.i.e.l.d

chris evans
Hey i got a padded black suit? Hope i Dont look fat in this?
scarlett johanssen
Yea we noticed superman no longer wears panties over tights anymore so we thought if getting rid of silly suits worked for man of steel perhaps it can work here besides its supposed to play "camouflage" during. That super secret thing you do which no one knows about
Chris evans
Hmmm camouflage got it now hand me that super shiny shield. Which makes the whole camouflaging excuse even more ridiculous. GERONIMO!
Narrator
Chris is able to kick the sh*t out of all the armed bad guys on board thanks to good old hollywood "wait for your turn when your predecessor is getting his arsse kicked"
But all of a sudden chris approaches a mini boss and becomes slow and stoopid because hollywood says so. Then scarlett johanssen risks getting captured or killed by sneaking into a room to download one of those hollywood american military secret files when she could have just assisted chris evans in regaining control of the ship

Dude from marvel agents of shield
surprise!you know how i am in that boring show agents of shield? Well check it out I am actually one of the hostages! Cause i work for s.h.i.e.l.d get it? Pretty neat right?
chris evans
rrrrrrriiiiiiight!
Dude from marvel agents of shield
(gasp) what? you dont know who i am? Oh i get it trapped in ice for 70 years probably never caught the show
chris evans
Well actually, No one catches that "24 wannabe" show

To be continued.......

stebell: Good question.
As it stands, Naija don't hv soldiers. What we hv are uniform men n women.
If we do hv soldiers, why are they not on de move ‎​t̶̲̥̅̊​o̶̲̥̅̊​ Sambisa Desert.

Where is τ̲̅ђe much hyped Sat-1?

Na God go save us O°˚˚˚

Dymaco: Where are our soldiers. They are in lagos fighting armless citizens

ose! Oya rambo why dont you go up north and them how it's done? lol!

Too bad abt the car but its a good thing the dude is alive abeg @yung6 check ur self well well before you commot hospital make them no go talk say person get internal you know

yinmu! they r*pe and shoot each abudcted girl and them never finish by now? #VeryFunny

God didn't make the world this way we did.

Sad

prof800: Where is the Link or source.?

you dare doubt me? gimme your house address I'm coming with cane

Guys guys can you believe it? They sighted this topic on classic bond forum wow this is the first time any other website is siting our website nairaland is going international jo o

forreelinc: 11.Perfect storyline

Abeg don't even go there that movie has so much plot holes that you just end up literally finishing every scene for them.
Minor Plot hole: James Bond and Patrice are having a big fight: cars flip out of a cargo train, a bulldozer is on a rampage on top of it, the train eventually gets cut in half, and the chauffeur and emergency breaks all have this one common mood characteristic: they don’t give a shit. In any real world situation, the train would have stopped a few seconds into the action sequence.

Minor Plot Hole: Bond is on top of a train going very fast. He falls off of said train and falls a very far distance. But he he is shown falling straight down. His momentum from being on the train would have carried him into the rocks at the bottom of the hill, thereby making his miraculous resurrection truly Lazarus-like.

Minor Plot hole: Part of a metro tunnel explodes in the middle of London causing a full metro car to crash and burn in an underground tunnel with the thunderous sound of metal death. And yet, Silva escapes ground zero and hides in the crowd of subterranean London dwellers who didn’t feel like their sense of security was violated by the echoing sound of doom. Perhaps we can infer their lack of survival drive because it’s the first time there is a terrorist attack in London metro stations, right?

Minor Plot hole: Patrice, the assassin, kills a few security extras in a Shanghai building before taking the glass elevator to reach his sniping position. Quick quiz question for you guys: when you enter an elevator, do you turn around to face the door in order to choose your floor? Yes you do. But Patrice is too cool for social norms. He enters the elevator of a building after killing a few guys and he simply doesn’t care about anything or anyone that could sneak-up on him. A third security guard could have been there aiming at his head while he was in the elevator. But this security concern is of no value to professional killer Patrice, he really WANTED to turn his back to the elevator – almost as much as the screenwriter WANTED him to turn his back to the elevator so James Bond could run up to him and jump under the elevator without him noticing.

Major Plot hole: James Bond is a man that beats unbelievable odds. It is part of his character. However, he usually beats unbelievable odds that are thrown at him, not ones he creates himself. He can kill 20 guys in a hotel if he is forced too – but he would never be stupid enough to create this situation himself. Except he did it in this movie. He lured a super villain with quasi-unlimited resources to a gun fight against him and a geriatric lady in a shit-old chalet. Of course they end-up having a third ally: Kincade, the retarded old man who likes to wave around a flash light in complete darkness to make sure bad guys can find him. But the problem here is not that James Bond won the fight 3vs15 (even though it’s stupid), the problem is that James Bond planned this gun-gang-rape in advance and assumed he would come out victorious. Which is in itself so retarded that it is insulting to Kincade.

Major Plot hole: MI6 has weird weapons. They buy rifles that can only shoot once before reloading. Otherwise Eve Moneypenny could have, you know, shot the bad guy endlessly after she first hit James Bond on top of that train. Instead she just kept eye contact with him and hoped to make him die of guilt.

Major Plot hole: Silva’s plan makes no sense. He wanted to get caught on that depressing shit of an island to then escape to find M, so he…

1)    Needed Patrice to die at the hands of MI6
2)    Needed to make sure Patrice would have his Macao casino chip in his coat
3)    Assumed James Bond would just go to the casino after finding the chip because where the Bleep do you want a better clue to the hideout of a villain than to assume the farfetched notion that assassins enjoy the thrills of gambling risks
4)    Assumed James Bond would find his girl, Sévérine, and proceed to not get killed by her 3 body-guards
5)    Assumed Sévérine would like James Bond and offer him to join her on that boat for some shower-sex based on her secret desire to find a man strong enough to kill Silva
6)    Assumed James Bond would be wearing a tracking device to the island so MI6 could send a few choppers to arrest him
7)    Assumed his guards would not search Bond for aforementioned tracking device OR assume none of his guards cared about getting caught by MI6
   Assumed the MI6 nerds would hook-up his virulent computer to their mainframe instead of an isolated server
9)   Assumed there would not be mechanical locks to his cell - even though they were in an underground WW-2 bunker

In order to succeed, Silva had to sacrifice many of his men and pray every night to the dwarf moon-god of luck to make sure all those steps happened.

Major Plot hole: Silva’s plan makes even less sense than the already exposed nonsense. His plan was to first humiliate M; destroy her office, leak the identity of various double agents and make her feel guilty about their inevitable deaths, pressure the government to get rid of her as head of MI6 and leave as a disgrace, etc. Ok, that’s fine. But the second part of his plan was to kill her.  The fact that he had two henchmen waiting for him in a metro station to give him a fake police costume and the fact that it would be very hard to kill M while she was inside the bunker surrounded by dozen of agents makes it inevitable to think that Silva always intended to kill M during her court appearance. HOWEVER, with everything we explained already about the impossibility of outcome of Silva’s plan, now we have to buy the impossibility of timing – whereas everything Silva assumes would happen also had to happen at exactly the time he thought it would happen. If Silva got caught a few days later, or if Q took two more hours to decipher his computer virus, Silva would have escaped through the sewers and M would not be at her court hearing anymore - thus negating all his work.

Plot contrivance: Even assuming Silva’s plan to get caught makes sense (it doesn’t); there is no way it could have worked. This is why his initial escape is off-screen, because it becomes ridiculous when you think about it. Silva was able with his computer virus to unlock all doors in MI6 underground bunker. Pretty cool. But he is still in a glass prison cell with two armed guards in front of him. Are we to assume the super-trained guards of MI6 who were watching him not quick enough to take out their handguns as soon as they saw Silva open his cell’s door? Especially after Silva made it clear he was expecting to get out by standing up, zipping his suit and smiling knowingly after the guards were asking him if he was going somewhere? Apparently, yes.

Plot contrivance: MI6 really needs to find Patrice, the assassin who stole the hard drive containing all NATO double-agent information. Their plan? Send 007 to find him, alone. The oldest field agent, who failed the physical and mental tests to rejoin service, and the only one Patrice ever saw face to face after their homoerotic encounter on top of a train. Would it not be simpler to send a younger agent that Patrice never saw? Or two?

Plot contrivance: While Bond is in the passenger seat of Eve’s car, he does not think it might be a good idea to take out his gun and shoot at Patrice who is right beside him in the car they are pursuing. But he makes sure to take his gun out and aim at Patrice as soon as he leaves the car though. Nice work James!

Plot contrivance: When Q has realized that Silva is heading to the Parliamentary hearing to kill M, he simply texts M's aide to try to get her to safety.   In real life, I'm pretty sure they'd throw a major cordon around  the building, secure the room and start a complete evacuation.  There would be concern for the ministers and officials a well as M, to say nothing of the spectators etc. But you gotta keep the tension balloon high in the air so all heavy common sense items must be thrown overboard.

Unaddressed issue: Bond gets shot by Eve on top of a train and falls to his death in a river. The whole intro song is based on this event and yet we are never shown how he survived the ordeal. Which is kind of important considering it is the biggest physical trauma James Bond ever suffered in his 23 films.

Unaddressed issue: Bond chases Silva through a bunch of subway ('tube') tunnels, and nearly catches him, but Silva blows up the tunnel's ceiling as a train is passing by.  Did Silva know he would be almost-caught in that room just as a train was passing above?  Did he plant explosives in every tunnel underground just in case he got almost-caught while Bond was on the other side of the room with a train approaching?

Unaddressed issue: Bond watches as Patrice sets up his sniper rifle, cuts a hole in the window, aims and shoots a random guy in cold blood.  We have no idea who the guy is, and Bond was just standing there watching, making no attempt to stop Patrice.  Bond is just told Patrice is there to do a 'job' - is he killing a an informant, or a political official?  We don't know - and neither does Bond.

forreelinc: My fellow nairalanders, finally someone has told me why skyfall is the best bond ever
1. Daniel craig really. Stamped his print on the franchise with this movie
2. We got to know about bond's childhood which is new
3. The villain is the most unique and realistic
4. The movie is deep and passes a deep message
5. M's departure from the franchise was moving as it was shocking
6.The return of Q, moneypenny and Male M
7.The action scenes are very realistic
8.It is the highest grossing. Bond movie till date
9. Truly original story
10. Mad ass soundtrack
11.Perfect storyline
12. MI6 was the focus this time
13.Breath taking scenes
as tempted as I am to shred this review in pieces I will love it if one of you could help me tell this guy why his views even makes skyfall worse than it was before

LMFAO you boyz are hillarious
I saw skyfall like last year december at shopping mall or e center can't really remember but I remembered however that the movie was not a good one to be quite frank it is the most terrible bond movie I've seen in a while. it was so rushed, under financed even though it had a big budget and the actors looked bored and uninspired almost like they were tired or not being paid enough,the storyline was a mess and the plot was implausible.it was bad enough that they strayed far away from the quantum of solace realism they now brought two unattractive and untalented actors to play that tech guy and secretary from pierce brosnan's bond films, and javier bardem as the villain really?he wasn't even that good in no country for old men they now brought him into the bond franchise to further damage a movie that was already in ruins. WTF, The cinematic experience and the 50th anniversary was quite enjoyable I must confess afterall it shows in the movies turnover but I know I will never get that movie in DVD because garbage no dey stay my house I always throw it out. The point this guy posted above is he serious? Or is he just trying to pull our legs?

belabela: Source: [url]esewalter./2013/08/22/my-affair-with-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-of-coza/[/url]

*crying* I no go go church again

possibilita: good development.

Word