I am interested in the ICT position.
My email is olanrewaju.ajirobaju@gmail.com

Interested in number 13 IT Specialist , my email olanrewaju.ajirobaju@gmail.com

Instead make camera man wake them e dey snap

princeemmma:
Looking at the picture I remember our marching in song back then

H.I.P for the Hip for the Hi po po

Add yours

Right into da danger zone

Why e come dey tell us?

Hi guys
I am a web developer
Html
Css
Js
Reactjs
Nodejs
MySQL
WordPress

Abeg for the web developers who make money from freelancing how do you find gigs apart from word of mouth?
abeg cut your guy soap

hi guys please do you guys know if the Direct entry admission process for university of lagos for 2019 closed

Hi guys is there anyone here who attended air force secondary ikeja lagos and finished with 2005 set? Abeg holla me it's pretty important

Hi guys,
Does anybody know about undergraduate bursary programmes or scholarship in Nigeria.
Thanking y'all in advance

My own question is how captain America travelled once to return the rocks even though they were collected from different timelines
and as 2012 thanks is still alive won't he still get the gauntlet and repeat infinity war

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*To let*

*Nice 2 bdrm flat ( Top floor) with two toilet , two bathrooms ,one living room,one kitchen, two tenants in a compound , nice kitchen cabinets , in a secure environment, adequate parking space,pumping machine and power transformer at Gowon Estate iyana ipaja , Lagos ...... For 450k per annum*

Call 08080403035 for more details

Abeg o anyone there?

Hi guys I am signing up for ICAN November 2019 digest abeg who knows the process and amount involved in getting started

I have heard and read upandan but I will really appreciate if someone can just give me the full details on how I can register for ICAN?

Eyah ,nwankwor no fit satisfy e wife again, she don dey depend on carrot

hello, is this vacancy still open?

Casper the friendly ghost is kinda depressing

kay9:
Umm... elizabeth didn't drop the cars on tony, jeremy did.

Jeremy how? IM destroyed the arrow he fired and elizabeth was waving her hands around, it's a confusing scene sha perhaps I no look am well

robert downey jr
Anyway this is more like an avengers basketball match I've got don
chris evans
I've got anthony
scarlet johansson
I've got chad
anthony mackie
I've got jeremy
jeremy renner
Uh I'm retired and totally stand to gain or lose nothing from this
keving feige
except a paycheck you dumbf*ck
jeremy renner
Fine! I've got paul rudd
chris evans
I've got my untrained and traumatized elizabeth and sebastian don't worry he's cool now I know that because he remembers my mothers name
robert downey jr
Aw that makes us uneven
audience
How about your manually controlled robots from age of ultron
robert downey jr
Goddamit would you quit it with the common sense
audience
I'm just trying to help
robert downey jr
Mtchew!
narrator
robert travels to newyork to f*ck marisa tomei(the most cheerful and sexy widow in the world) and risk the life of her "son" despite being grieved stricken by a single parent who lost her son meanwhile chris and sebastian sneak out of the country by suiting up and using the totally public airport like a couple of geniuses
emily vancamp
Yay I'm still alive despite smashing a cocobolo desk and I'm totally cool with your sebastian friend chilling like nothing happened infact I'm committing treason for him.............oh all these st*pidity makes me h*rny can we f*ck on the hood of your car?
chris evans
Nah it's a pg-rated movie so let's settle for disturbing the audience by making out
audience
with the niece of your girlfriend few scenes after her death? #Classy
chris evans
F*ck you
narrator
meanwhile back at the avengers mansion elizabeth isn't done annoying us with her irritatingly fake accent
paul betany
Hey I cooked you dinner and wore a sweater and khaki pants for swag purposes
elizabeth olsen
Why? Oh God please don't tell me I'm gonna f*ck a robot in this movie come on
paul betany
But according to the comics we've got the hots for each other
elizabeth olsen
*sigh*
paul betany
I'll be back I've got to go change into something comfortable (gets zapped by jeremy and then force field into the ground by elizabeth like she should have done to frank grillo)
elizabeth olsen
Phew!Thank you
narrator
and so the avengers battle olympics begins as iron man kicks off by destroying a helicopter in typical avengers fashion
tom holland
Time for the big reveal.......spiderman is in this movie
audience
Um yay? I mean we totally saw this part in the trailer and what's with peter parker always being a high school student in the movies? come on he's graduated twice already perhaps y'all should find a story in a timeline in college or working photographer jeez
paul rudd
Grrr! I'm a douchebag so I'll pick on the minor
marvel
The moral of the story is bullying and picking on minors is adorable

Signed
Marvel team
tom holland
Hmmm ant man spiderman so many insect men up in here anyone got a bug spray? Get it? Spiderman humor(gets kicked in the teeth for his bad joke)
chris evans
Thanks paul hey robert it's time to......
robert downey jr
No not yet I wanna fight jeremy renner first
elizabeth olsen
ahem!
robert downey jr
Oh sh*t who set elizabeth free?
elizabeth olsen
You locked me in my room
robert downey jr
Say what you will but at least I'm not using you as a divertion so I can slip off. With my boyfriend and risk having you captured or killed
elizabeth olsen
Good point but not good enough because I'm mad
robert downey jr
Wait I killed your family and you've finally decided to kill me cause I grounded you? And is anyone else not buying that you aren't a teenager? For the love of God you look 30
elizabeth olsen
*gasp* why you (drops a bunch of cars on robert)
robert downey jr
seriously that didn't kill me? Even though my suit scatters like lego toys in iron man 3? Okay
narrator
meanwhile sebastian and anthony re-enact a tom and jerry cartoon scene by getting their a*sses kicked by tom holland
sebastian stan
Wait am I seriously losing to a teenager? Especially when I just bashed everyone in the previous scene?
anthony mackie
Grrrr I'm gonna aggressively beat this kid cause that's what we black people do right?
paul rudd
Hey scarlet wanna flirt fight?
scarlet johansson
*rolling eyes* this will be embarassing (and it is especially when she flips on her own like a freaking looney)
scarlet johansson
eat buzz for making me look like a crazy person (zaps paul)
paul rudd
Hey that nearly killed me you c*nt I thought this was a friendly match(endagers roberts life by messing with roberts wiring) hmmm its weird just how many attempted murders have been committed in this friendly match(tossing fuel car at roberts avengers)
don cheadle
*in southern slave accent*Em who do I battles sirs
robert downey jr
Go crazy take on chris
don cheadle
Ooo yes masser I'm ons its masser(chris makes him his b*tch)
really guys?
chad boswick
I'm on it (is made a b*tch too) I don't need this mess I should be looking for sebastian
narrator
scarlett and jeremy have a rematch
scarlett jeremy
Hey so how is retirement? having fun with no neighbours?
jeremy renner
Having fun with no man in your life?
scarlett johansson
hey I'm playing catch up not spit roast choke on my crotch mr bland
jeremy renner
I'm not mr bland I just happen to play leading roles in failed franchises and side kicks in successful ones (choking)
Guys.... Little help?
elizabeth olsen
(Tosses scarlett with her force field) no means no go get a vibrator instead of rubbing on every guy you see
scarlett johansson
Oh Gawd I need to go to a hospital
robert downey jr
Psst suck that up b*tch everyone form brave heart formation I've got scarlet,tommy,don,chadwick and paul my hommie
paul betany
elizabeth left me with blue balls and I want................revenge
chris evans
And I've got anthony,elizabeth,jeremy,paul and sebastian
robert downey jr
In other words the tacky team
chris evans
no its not
robert downey jr
admit it my team sh*ts on your team.......aiit now seriously chris stand down I don't want to kill you
chris evans
That's why you fired countless tank missiles at us
robert downey jr
Hey elizabeth dropped cars on me
Okay now I'm pissed stand down or we'll make your gritty franchise campy and silly
chris evans
[s]robert, look sebastian is been framed by a dude in siberia let's go hunt him down you can keep sebastian prisoner as a sign of goodwill[/s] ATTACK!!!!
tom holland
They are not stopping mr downey
robert downey jr
Very well,Let's camp the f*ck outta this movie
chris evans
the hell you are (picks on tom holland) you should have more respect for your elders get it? Cause I'm over a hundred years old and......
audience
Zzzzzzzzzz
chris evans
A*ss
sebastian stan
c'mon this scene is taking forever let's go clear my name already
chris evans
Haha like taking down daniel will suddenly make the world forget all the other people you killed..... oh you aint kidding okay let's "clear your name" I guess
paul rudd
I'll cover you so you can run(grows big)
robert downey jr
Seriously, you know we can totally run around you
paul rudd
no you can't... see? don just flew right into my grasp
robert downey jr
That's doesn't count don's an *diot
don cheadle
hey!
chadwick boseman
I mean we could also trip him with a stair car or something
robert downey jr
Or I can fire a rocket at him
paul rudd
Would you stop talking about how this is a bad idea c'mon the fan b*ners are to the roof don't ruin it
(Paul flies through him). Goddammit what did I just say?(Destroys a plane for no reason)
narrator
chris and sebastien bump into scarlett
scarlett johansson
I'm taking you guys in
sebastien stan
c'mon we had choke sex in the last scene doesn't that count
scarlett johansson
Alright you may pass
chris evans
And we played tongue hockey in the last movie
scarlett johansson
Aii that's a pass too
chad boswick
Grrrrr you aint leaving till I kill your a*ss
scarlett johansson
Yea I'm definitely gonna have fun stunning your uppity a*ss
chad boswick
Hey buh we........oh sh*t(gets stunned to sh*t)
narrator
meanwhile paul mind r*pes elizabeth is about to go 2nd base with her
robert downey jr
Hey paul shoot down sebastien and chris anthony in honor of the black men police shooters of America
paul bettany
AMERICA!!! (Shoots down don instead) oops wait that still counts right?
robert downey jr
fine I'll complete the racist cycle myself(blasts anthony to kingdom come) anyone gonna chase chris oh forget it

To be continued.....

@eapps, @ thenairama for una mind una don yan abi?

Naijasinglegirl:
Have you ever been scrolling through you your Instagram explore feed and you see users posting photos of them with celebrities? Or maybe you happen to have a random discussion with colleagues and when the name of a celebrity comes up, they dish details of the celebrity with certainty. No, they don’t have two heads. If you have been wondering how you can ever meet a celebrity in Lagos, I have made a list of 14 jobs that makes it possible. Read below . . .

Op you forgot to add bleaching cream sales and cocaine smuggling

TadeDada:
That's the lovely BASENJI... Here's mine the incredible "DIEGO" Love him so much

Lol see as u hold e neck una dey fight?

K9blunt:
Please what breed is this dog

She has slight white socks on her front paws.

Each of her hind legs have extra toes and nails, though quite useless.

I heard she's another breed of German Shepherd but I quite disagree....

Any ideas?

It kinda loox like a belgian shepherd dog we have plenty of those ere that pass for german shepherds

bamosagie:
Where is the big boy?!

Must the gals always look gross?

ades0la:

Alright.

yea its rly sad

ades0la:

Can you please write something like this for deadpool too?

wish I could but deadpool already yabbed itself for us

nnachidav:



Hahahahahhahahaaa my friend wake up for dream joor

See nigerian, instead make you claim am for me you dey piss untop my bush lillies, kneel down der

ades0la:
I find this more interesting than the movie itself

thanx

ezeagu:
Aww, her father is a thief who stole Abia State children's futures, how cute for her.

my friend how dare you insult my future father inlaw? Kneel down dere

henry cavill
Ew did someone just eat him up and puked him out? why does he look so gross?
jesse eisenberg
yea I guess it would have been cooler and more terrifying if we made a zombie micheal shannon
henry cavill
Ugh he looks like that crappy toxic avenger dude from the 80s
jesse eisenberg
Yea yea
henry cavill
Almost looks like some disgruntled dude just f*cked him up to get at zack snyder
jesse eisenberg
Well I gues......
henry cavill
Gosh! I mean Did he fall in a bowl of sh*t or is that just how he looks
dooms day
WE GET IT!!!(Punches henry outter the building)
narrator
then they start to fight and when I mean fight I mean they begin to trash the Gotham surroundings
ben affleck
What da? hey are you gonna pay to repair the roads you 're trashing? you're lucky our moms have the same name or I would have lost my sh*t
henry cavill
C'mon money bags you can pay for it
ben affleck
Godammit I aint made of cash can't you fight him in space or something?
henry cavill
Hmmm good idea
narrator
so henry kicks dooms days a*ss into space meanwhile the military does what they do best in these kind of movies which is sit on their hands and act like *diots
military personnel
Hey henry is fighting the bogey and has taken him to space
harry lennix
Awww! He really does love us........now nuke his a*ss
military personnel
Wait what?
harry lennix
Well to prevent what happened last time, I'm not so sure why we only see these people when henry is around and most of all I've always wanted to look like I know what I'm doing
military personnel
Okay.. FIRE!!
narrator
they fire a nuclear missile at henry and doomsday which kills henry for 2minutes and tickles doomsday
military personnel
*judgemental look* sir it's raining doomsday
harry lennix
Dammit where is henry?
military personnel
Well he didn't come along so what do you think?
harry lennix
Well I guess its back to sitting on my hands
military personnel
Ugh! Now he's copying hulk and king kong moves
ben affleck
Oh great nice going harry now I have to fight him on my own using the lesson I never learnt when going up against henry(doomsday trashes his bat jet)
Hey how am I still alive?
doomsday
Prepare to be laser eye f*cked you jerk
ben affleck
Oh sh*t wished the meta humans were here
ezra miller
My mommy is calling me(runs home from milk store)
jason momoa
I'm too busy with the momoa fish to poor people foundation
cyborg
Let's do this
audience
wow that's what you look like?
cyborg
Yea what do I look like?
audience
You look like bucket of LFMAO gosh I guess dc is really trying to bring some laughs into their franchise huh?
cyborg
*cries and runs home*
gal gadot
I'll save you my love
narrator
just as doomsday is about to dubstep bencaptain america gal blocks ben with her shield
gal gadot
Hey I never asked how did you send me that email? it's not like you have my address or even knew my name
ben affleck
And lucky for you that your costume just happens to be closeby even though you clearly looked like you were done being a superhero except you're a stripper or something
narrator
henry wakes up and continues his project gotham demolition
ben affleck
Dude show a lil class c'mon gal's over here fighting doomsday yet you don't see any buildings falling down
henry cavill
Yeowch! Who is this cactus flower?
ben affleck
She bleeds........like 5 days a month
henry cavill
Ugh ew I guess she's with you
ben affleck
No she's with you
henry cavill
No she's with you
ben affleck
No she's with you
narrator
meanwhile amy struggles to be relevant to the plot but ends up drowning cause NOBODY CARES..back to the super fight
gal gadot
Taste my blade now taste my sonic boom now taste my lasso
doomsday
Hmmm hw big is this lasso to bound me and fit in your holster at the same time?
henry cavill
You nit picker taste pure kryptonian knuckles
ben affleck
Woa y'all look pretty busy so If you need me I'll be over here sh*tting a brick
jeremy irons
Shouldn't you be blasting doomsday with your krypto gun or better yet, picking up your staff to kill doomsday with it?
ben affleck
hey gimme a break I just kicked kryptonian a*ss, kicked a ton of russian thug a*ss, murdered a super villain and survived a plane crash, all that awesomeness can tire someone out you know
audience
like us (puke from being dizzy)
doomsday
YOU!!!
ben affleck
Gulp! Mommy(begins to flee)ok fine jeremy what did you say about my spear? I'm totally running to go get it(nose sprouts like pinnochio)
henry cavill
Ok guys time out amy is in trouble gat to go
gal gadot
Hey hang on why not just get ben to do it? you left your mom in his care a while ago I can't take out doomsday on my own.... sh*t he's gone what a jerk
narrator
henry rescues amy and then retrieves the krypto spear which weakens him instantly and when I say "weaken" I mean still possessing power of flight and super strength but just moan and acting drunk kind of weakness
henry cavill
Hey are you ok?
amy adams
Me? Pfft! B*tch please after downing so much dirty water in my lungs....of course I'm fine
henry cavill
Well I've gotta go guilt trip the world by killing myself instead of simply handing the spear over to ben or gal
amy adams
What? No
henry cavill
I love you amy, cavill out(flies off)
ben affleck
Oh yea this is actually the best time to shoot a krypto gas pellet at doomsday
henry cavill
Smh
ben affleck
Hey where are you going with my spear? Don't get yourself killed c'mon whose gonna help DCEU in the box office?
jared leto
Did someone call for DCs "joker card"?
ben affleck
Oh right carry on
narrator
henry stabs doomsday in the heart
henry cavill
f*ck YOU!!!!!!
doomsday
Hmm speaking of f*cking(t*tty f*cks henry with his exo-skeletal claws)
narrator
and they both die
audience
Pfft!Bologne
zack snyder
I hate you, you never support anything I do all you care abt is joss whedon I wish you were dead(runs to his room crying)
ben affleck
*sigh* Well I guess it all worked out in the end *high fives gal*
amy adams
Hmmm a scary violent unpredictable vigilante, a weirdly dressed super strengthened woman and a giant monster wow I'm so scared I bet everyone can see that in my totally emotionless expressions
narrator
meanwhile a swat team storms the kryptonian spaceship and find jesse
Stealing from the plot of marvels avengers
[b]swat team
What da f*ck?
jesse eisenberg
Uh this is not what it looks like
Wait a minute why are you here it's not like you have any evidence to arrest me and the only witness you have is a dead alien and his girlfriend
swat team
Uh ok we'll just keep you in holding till we find/forge some*evil smiles*
narrator
then there's a mass burial for henry cavill which makes for a very interesting story when amy has to explain how human henry cavill is also dead at the same time
everyone
wait we are not supposed to know henry is superman
henry cavill
Grrr! I'm not super.....uh oh
zack snyder
why you plot spoiling son of a b*tch
narrator
ben visits jesse in prison
ben affleck
B*tch despite hearing of how my branding kills people I've decided to do it anyway. BTW why aren't you in guantanamo?
jesse eisenberg
because I'm insane(sh*ts on hands and write on the walls with it)
ben affleck
Cool....will take you to arkham then have some friends over there toodles(brands wall)
jesse eisenberg
Hmm at least try to give a sh*t about the next prisoner who will occupy this room don't you think the branded wall will mean execution for them too?

End

narrator
amy is dragged before jesse eisenberg so he can st*pidly reveal his plans
amy adams
Er you found out about the bullets right? Wait a minute why didn't I turn that over to anyone
jesse eisenberg
Bullets? What bullets?
amy adams
The bullets I found in da....ugh! So why are you openly slapping a kidnapping charge on your a*ss?
jesse eisenberg
how about we throw in an attempted murder charge in the mix cause I've tossed ben and henry in a epic match so ben can totally kill henry with the kryptonite he took off me
amy adams
O_o ok? So how do you get them together? Throw another "rob the f*ck outta me" dinner party?
jesse eisenberg
No actually what I did was
1. Uncover batman and superman's secret identity
2. Friended an african war lord
3. Waited till the said african warlord invited you over to somalianairomi for an interview
4. Then callan will out micheal cassidy as a spy because somehow the cia will want in on the action and will infiltrate the african warlords compound using you as cover
5. Then luckily henry in his destructive fashion will arrive just in time to destroy a missile and drone over the compound rendering the cia blind but not in time to find callan roasting the rebels
6.Then I bribe an african lady to lie that henry attacked the village luckily also the cia won't be stoked about sticking around to properly investigate the casualties(and the bullet holes in them) before deciding that calvin did it even though they never saw him take out the drone
7. Then I'll pay some dudes to kill a prisoner and make it look like its because he has a batman tatoo and no one will wonder why criminals with bat tats are more hated than the normal criminals
8. Then I'll pray like crazy for henry to watch the news and take offence with ben but not just toss ben in a jail cell with his pinky
9. Then I paid homage to breaking bad by rigging scoots wheel chair with explosives
jena malone
Number 9 was made possible because there was lead around the wheel chair which stopped henry from seeing the bomb(collects paycheck and leaves)
jesse eisenberg
10. Graffitti and send ben prank notes like a 10 year old then I........... hey why are you smiling? You're supposed to be terrified
amy adams
Because this all sounds like a parody of ozymandias plan from watchmen with extra cheesiness
jesse eisenberg
you dare laugh at my plans(tosses amy off a building)
amy adams
yawn! Oh I mean waaaaaaah! I'm so petrified oh the horror of falling to ones death, the terror the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh sorry I mean a........ I mean a......... Well I'm petrified?
henry caville
I've got you baby now if you excuse me I shall leave you unattended you know just incase you wanna get kidnapped again
amy adams
Wooo! What a rush, my hands aren't even shaking so I guess I should go talk to ben about how jesse is setting he and henry up..............or maybe I should just stand around till the movie needs me again
narrator
henry [s]grabs jesse by the ears and forces him to confess to his acts of terror in africa and metropolis[/s] confronts jesse with his epic constipated frown
henry cavill
Grrrrr! Why did you toss my girlfriend off the building?
jesse eisenberg
what makes you so sure I did it maliciously? for all I know we could have been waltzing and she slipped and fell off so what are you mad at me for?
henry cavill
cause the finger sandwiches at your party tasted like hot armpits and your wine tasted like piss that's why I hate you
jesse eisenberg
Anyway I kidnapped diane and now I shall force you to do my bidding muahahahahahahahaha!
henry cavill
yea sure like I can't circumnavigate the universe and find her within the fraction of a second*flips through script* oh I mean MOMMA!!!!! *sucks on his thumbs* ok what do you want?
jesse eisenberg
Well I want you to go fight ben
henry cavill
Why? are you gonna be watching?
jesse eisenberg
No
henry cavill
Is anyone gonna be watching?
jesse eisenberg
Er........no
henry cavill
Then why the f*ck am I fighting him?
jesse eisenberg
Because God didn't save me from my abusive father when I was a kid
henry cavill
wait what?
jesse eisenberg
You heard me
henry cavill
So you want vendetta for your dad beating your a*ss? How does that even add up? And what are you mad at me for? I'm no god you should be mad gal gadot instead she's the one whose a goddess and all
jesse eisenberg
just shut up and go kill ben ok? You've got one hour
henry cavill
Fine! By the way I'm just gonna holla my girl real quick you mind?
jesse eisenberg
*shrugs* she's your mom(hops into chopper)
narrator
henry meets with amy
henry cavill
he's got my mom
amy adams
Ok so go save her I mean you could torture jesse and get him to call off her hit or you use your super hearing or vision to track her I mean that should only take about 10minutes
henry cavill
Nah f*ck that, I'll rather go negotiate with a crazy dude gosh! Maybe I shouldn't have f*cked up his ride
cab man
Hey aint that superman? Why am I not totally taking a pic of him french kissing a metro chick and putting it on twitter or selling it to a journalist? *shrugs*
narrator
henry approaches ben but first he damages the floor because "he comes in peace"
henry cavill
Er why are you wearing a trash can with a cape?
ben affleck
Tell me....do you laugh?
henry cavill
Never mind it's not that funny anyway,so hey ben I need your help(shoves ben to mecca)
ben affleck
That's why you mentioned my characters first name are you trying to blackmail me? Eat sonic waves you quere(blasts henry with sonic waves that don't deafen ben or shatter the window of buildings nearby)
henry cavill
C'mon man you are the only one who can help me(trashes ben's gadget violently)
ben affleck
I'm listening(overdoses henry on bullets)
henry cavill
hey you better not have wrecked my suit(checks) well what do you know, my suit is bullet proof as well
(Tosses ben onto the roof of a building of course in man of steel tradition he totally wrecks someones apartment while doing so)
ben affleck
Ooooooooooouch! Wait how does this metal suit stop me from feeling the effects of gravity or pain? Oh sh*t henry is coming (tosses smoke screen at him)
henry cavill
Hey dude c'mon I don't wanna hurt ya you know you're being a real b*tch right now and what makes you think I can't float over the smoke screen or see through it?
ben affleck
Because you are a m*ron and everyone wants me to beat your a*ss so they've made you extra st*pid for this fight(fires a krypto gas pellet at henry)
henry cavill
Gas? Really? Have you forgotten that I fought in freaking space in the last movie? I bet I don't even use my nose at all(does so anyway) oh lord I have inhaled kryptonite gas and now I'm as light as a feather but tough enough to not burst open when smudged between metal and hardass concrete
ben affleck
Yea and I hid my secret weapon at the bottom of the world let's just hope you don't recover before we get there now time for some badass ninja skills like straddle punching(straddle punches henry to recovery) oh sh*t
henry cavill
Well I can see asking for your help is a bad idea so I'll just go find my mom by myself or maybe just throw you a punch(does so) or maybe two(does so) or maybe three(does so) ok fine I'll stay and fight grrrrrr!(Gets gased again) the f*ck man how did I fall for this twice?
ben affleck
grrrr you trashed my garbage can suit? I ma go WWE on your a*ss(crashes a toilet sink on henry head)then I ma toss you off a flight of stairs(does so) and just for the kicks I ma take you fishing(makes henry his b*tch with a fishing rod) now time to test and see how sharp my kryptonite spear is(gives henry a tribal mark) yep it is sharp enough, time to go buddie any last words?
henry cavill
Martha
ben affleck
Haha few seconds from your death and you're making yo mama jokes that aren't even funny
henry cavill
No you don't understand my mom's name is martha and........
ben affleck
She's a kryptonian and I should totally kill her too good call buddie
henry cavill
shut up dude! My mom just got her a*ss kidnapped and I was blackmailed to fight you
ben affleck
yea right!
amy adams
He's telling the truth
ben affleck
Oh ok(tosses his spear) this totally erases your raucus in metropolis,somalia nairomi and gotham
henry cavill
Gotham?
ben affleck
C'mon its a hollywood superhero movie you think trashing a few rooms screams FINALE
henry cavill
Yea you are right now go find my mother yes that's right I want you who I don't trust and is a 1million times slower than I am to go save my mom
ben affleck
Yea good thing jesse didn't find a way to monitor you to make sure you followed his instructions
jeremy irons
I've located diane lane with my magic powers she's in a cliched russian warehouse with 3 floors filled with armed russian dudes facing one direction are you sure you are the man for the job? I mean shouldn't you be confronting jesse instead?
narrator
ben rushes into action by wasting a bunch of time getting change of clothes and probably shaving and catching a tv show before heading to rescue henry's mother
zack snyder
Now time to cream your shorts for that awesome fight scene I put in the trailer
narrator
scene is exactly how it's in the trailer without an addition or subtraction
audience
That's it I'm getting a refund I can just watch the youtube trailers and have a filled day
zack snyder
Hey wait callan and ben are about to have a showdown
callan mulvey
If you take one step you'll see the inside of her head........wait haven't we done this before? Yea the showdown between the african rebel and henry with amy inbetween
zack snyder
Yea it's a take on how ben would have done it
audience
*praying* God please let there be a good fight scene please please
callan mulvey
I'll kill her
ben affleck
Tell that to my killing joke(blasts callan anticlimatically)
diane lane
A dude just got brutally roasted by a murderous scary vigilante that certainly turns me on watch my orgasm face
audience
there's no God
narrator
meanwhile henry confronts jesse again
jesse eisenberg
Henry we have to stop meeting like this......... uh you didn't kill ben? Wait is my objective to kill ben or henry or both? I'm getting my objectives muddled again cause now it looks like I just wanna trash gotham for no reason
henry cavill
Why am I not arresting you right now.....o sh*t what's that
jesse eisenberg
Your doomsday

To be continued......

kryptonian1987:


why would I want to read it? that childish movie that is meant for teens.... the most overrated movie of the year!

"hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!"
- wise words of kryptonian1987

kryptonian1987:


despite all its powerful WoM and unbelievable very very high RT score, it couldn't even break the $450m mark , domestically... not even close to it

Hmmm even tho it's actually one of the highest rated and grossing movies of this year?
Like I said whatever helps you sleep at nite

kryptonian1987:


hahaha!
na obsession won kill you so oh!

What's this one saying?

kryptonian1987:


people are still debating abt BvS till date,

Debating? More like laffing I mean bvs is like a documentary on how to make an awful movie

kryptonian1987:

just to tell u it has something they called: classical cultic in it...!

Whatever helps you sleep at nite man

kryptonian1987:

unlike that done and dusted CW which no one talk about since 2months+ ago

I have a post for civil war as well you can look it up if you like