33117:


i also found that part silly see john wick see the bad guy shoot him he was hesitating well it's a movie sha

So what's next? How about spectre or rogue nation? Those movies were a total waste of time especially spectre

actually spectre was obviously going to suck, that sam mendes guy is not bond material he was just lucky with skyfall as for rogue nation after the tosca scene i just tuned off it was so boring i wonder what critics loved in that movie

ba7man:
Mad max is a raving success.

Any negative review will only backfire in your face because a lot of people won't share your sentiment.

Stick to silly movies like John wick...... now that's perfect.

We'll see about that

Swing and a miss: mad max fury /////////////loading......11%

narrator
keanu locates alfie allen, he kills all of alfies bodyguards and then he kills alfie allen anti climatically of course keanu could always shoot alfie allen with a long range rifle and leave everyone else who had nothing to do with his dog alone
keanu reeves
Ha! Now its all over i have closure now
audience
Phew! Okay i'm off
micheal nvquist
Uh I ain't done yet
keanu reeves
What do you mean?
micheal nvquist
Remember how your dog got murdered and you went batsh*t crazy on the russian mob? Well we are doing it again this time by killing willem dafoe your mentor
willem dafoe
Me? What did i do?
micheal nvquist
Well you set keanu free and my son is dead because of that
willem dafoe
O_o and you're sure it had nothing to do with the lazy security detail you put around him? Besides you were the one who was dumb enough to hire keanu's friend to kill keanu
micheal nvquist
yea well, everybody makes mistakes
willem dafoe
And now you are going to murder me like that wouldn't keanu come after you and kill you too
micheal nvquist
Well if he does that i've implanted andrianne palicki to take him out
willem dafoe
You mean the same chick injured keanu whooped with his bare hands imagine what he can do when he has guns
micheal nvquist
Holy cow you're right quick ready my chopper i'm fleeing
dean winters
Oh wait that was an option
andrianne palicki
Don't worry boss keanu's not gonna know what hit him(phone rings) hey ian, of course i can totally leave my post and have a meeting with you in a totally isolated place
narrator
she conveniently walks away as keanu arrives to see his buddie dead and totally flip out
keanu reeves
grrrr! Micheal didn't even have the decency of calling the Pizza boys to clean this up, its a good thing he didn't wire the house to blow now i can go activate revenger mode even though micheal has an hour headstart(gets into his bullet car complete with magic gps)
andrianne palicki
Ok so what is this all about?
ian macshane
PSYCH! We are here to kill you for killing that black guy in my hotel, as it is against the rules, Boys?! Let her have it
narrator
they gangr*pe her with bullets and then they disappear, meanwhile keanu[s]stealthily gets to the chopper before micheal,stealthily plants an explosive and walks away in his awesome stealthiness[/s] catches up with micheal's convoy and starts ramming his car into theirs like a scene from beverly hills cop
dean winters
Oh c'mon there are about 10 of us in 2 suvs how is keanu kicking our a*ss when there is just 1 of him in a bloody sports car?
micheal nvquist
Come to think of it maybe i should've travelled by boat
dean winters
How did keanu even find us?
keanu reeves
Ian told me
ian mcshane
No i said that i neither can confirm nor deny that micheal is leaving or staying in a helicopter or a chopper
dean winters
can it ian(turns to micheal) what did you do, tweet our location or something?
micheal nivquist
you know all you've done is sit and complain what's even more hilarious is that keanu hardly gives a sh*t about you so i wonder why you still hanging around? Anyway, have a gun get keanu
narrator
dean manages to wound keanu but then he begins to cackle like a cartoon villain so keanu reeves murders his a*ss out of anger
keanu reeves
Ha it's me and you micheal
micheal nvquist
Ever noticed this cliche where the good guy kills all the henchmen and always fights their boss last,is there anything that stops the boss from dying first
keanu reeves
Well i'm about to create another cliche which is toss my fully loaded gun away and hope you don't have a hidden weapon stashed somewhere
micheal nvquist
Sucker (stabs keanu in his old injury)
keanu reeves
hehehe that tickles(murders micheal) i've been stabbed and i'm probably
Bleeding out and no hospital will take me cause i've killed so many people i'm f*cked................best time for a joyride(gets into an SUV and crashes it
)...........Time to jerk off to a video of my wife(is about to jerk off to a video of his wife when he notices a pet shelter)...........time to steal a dog damn! I've got really bad ideas........ oh look a stapler i'll just staple my sliced abdomen and eveything will be fine
narrator
[b]keanu walks away with a pitbull and they live happily ever after even though keanu is mortally wounded and wouldn't last long or micheals colleagues from russia will come looking for keanu or the suv he crashed has his DNA all over it and it just led the police to the scene of a multiple homicide...........but it's a happy ending anyway
End

Raalsalghul:
I enjoyed the film-one of my[b]best in year 2014[/b]

First time i dey hear that one, the movie was really dull and boring and ridiculous

lance reddick
Ok so would you like some painkillers?
keanu reeves
Nah! i'll rather drink myself to a stupor Like the professional that i'm..........look i would have loved to pay but unfortunately my chocolate coin flipping hand is bursted so put it on my tab(heads upstairs)
alfie allen
Dad dad dad i was almost killed by your boogie man assassin oh God he's such a bada*ss(sh*ts his pants)
micheal nyqvist
he what? Time to feel the wrath of a russian gangster quick[s]put keanu in trouble with rival gangs so they can kill him[/s] pay willem dafoe to kill keanu reeves
dean winters
Really? Aren't those guys like super close? I mean they are like two balls in a nut sack
micheal nyqvist
Fine for assurance we shall put out contracts to keanu's other friends at ubiystan continental
dean winters
*face palms*
narrator
keanu reeves is recuperating in his hotel room,willem plays guardian angel over keanu by monitoring keanu who is in a hotel filled with assassins from a vantage point
willem dafoe
Hey what's this? Andrianne is gonna kill keanu i mustshoot her so she doesn't get to keanu shoot the glass to warn keanu i just hope he is not a heavy sleeper(shoots glass)
keanu reeves
*snaps* what da good f*ck?
adrianne palicki
hi i caught wind of the bounty on your head so instead of tossing a grenade into your room or walking in with a fire arm i've decided to suffocate you with a pillow
keanu reeves
May i ask how exactly were you going to claim the bounty? I could have been killed by anyone how were you going to prove that you did it
andrianne palicki
Just shut up and fight
narrator
keanu kicks the red dawn out of andrianne palicki
keanu reeves
Hey my arm is all better who would have thought? on second thought, micheal nyqvist put a bounty on my head? oh its on now hey andrianne where does micheal nyqvist keep all his money?
andrianne palicki
Ha you expect a hardass assassin chick like me to spi.....(Flips through script) oh er he keeps all of his cash in a church
keanu reeves
he he Nice try seriously where does he keep his money? in a church is that supposed to be a joke? Hasn't he heard of a thing called diversification Or a savings account? So you mean he has a mountain of cash and chocolate coins chilling in a f*cking church?
anyway hey clarke peteres my next door assassin. Could you help me watch her till "house keeping come" *devil smile*
clarke peters
*devil smile* yes house keeping......... Wait that's supposed to mean something right? Ok is this a live action movie? i don't understand why y'all keep tossing around characters and concepts and codenames like we are all supposed to understand all that under 90minutes

andrianne palicki
Well i guess you're never gonna fight out(murders clarke peters and house keeping is never revealed)
narrator
next keanu[s]stealthily infiltrates the church, destroys the pile of cash and chocolate coins stealthily and walks away in awesome stealthiness[/s] bursts into a catholic church and murders everyone without asking questions
keanu reeves
Wait a minute is this corpus christi savings and loans?
injured priest
Er yea
keanu reeves
Phew! For a second back there i thought i just murdered innocent catholics now lead me to the vault
narrator
they get to the vault
keanu reeves
When micheal nyquist shows up give him a message for me( sets stacks of money on fire cause apparently he has nothing epic to say)
dean winter
Er micheal keanu just burnt all your cash and chocolate coins you didn't put all your cash in one place did you?
micheal nvquist
hmmmn this could be a trap to lure me in the open but on second thought.............keanu set fire to all me money
eugene crabs from spongebob
Hmmmmn that's sounds familiar in a spongebob kind of way
narrator
micheal and his goons shows up at the church and he murders the priest in broad daylight
keanu reeves
this is actually a trap to lure micheal out in the open[s]stealthily snatches micheal for interrogation and leaves the scene in awesome stealthiness[/s] rushes head first and starts murdering everyone
micheal nyqvist
oh sh*t keanu is unstoppable is there anyone with his mumu button here?
SUV
Did someone call my name
(Knocks out keanu)
audience
Phew! Keanu is dead this torture of a movie is finally over
keanu reeves
Tada i'm not dead
audience
Oh c'mon you got knocked out by a freaking SUV how are you still alive i hope this isn't gonna be one of those movies where They say you're half human half ancient alien race just to avoid confrontation
keanu reeves
(Changes topic) where am i and why are you keeping me alive?
micheal nvquist
Well because.............em because.............that's because.......... look i'm keeping you alive and that's that ok?
keanu reeves
Dude just gimme your son and all this won't be necessary
micheal nyqvist
A full grown man's life in exchange for the life of a pup you only knew a few days? Who does that
keanu reeves
No you don't understand(snickers) that puppy was my life(holds back laughter) that puppy was my life(laughs some more) that pup was oh boy(lets out a roar of laughter) lord i can't even say that with a straight face
micheal nvquist
Yea we're done here, kill him
Daniel Bernhardt
Oh dang it i'm out of ammo let's lazily suffocate him with a plastic bag
narrator
they lazily suffocate keanu with a plastic bag but unfortunately for them willem dafoe implausibly tracks them down and frees keanu reeves who in turn murders Daniel Bernhardt and surprises micheal who is just a few blocks away
micheal nyqvist
Oh for Gods sake how did u escape?
keanu reeves
Willem dafoe found me and set me free with his long range rifle
micheal nvquist
Willem? How did he find you? I can't remember telling him anything
keanu reeves
And why does he keep firing long range shots when he can just lend a hand to get me out of fixes? Anyway i want you to call off the contract on my head
micheal nvquist
That's it? Sure thing as long as you won't ask me for........
keanu reeves
Oh and i want your son too
micheal nvquist
dude if i get you a new puppy and return your car would you leave my son and my money alone?
keanu reeves
Are you seriously negotiating with me right now? I can totally blow off your face right now
micheal nvquist
Ha no you won't if you kill me you'll never know where my son is and you know how you rely heavily on information
keanu reeves
oh i guess you saw through my poker face huh
micheal nvquist
But i'll give you the address anyway for the sake of plot progression
keanu reeves
Wohoo for plot progression now. make sure the address you are giving me is the right address and not some house crawling with law enforcement officers ready to take me in
micheal nyqvist
It's the right address
keanu reeves
And make sure you don't advise your bodyguards to relocate alfie to another safe house or to watch out for me when i come
micheal nyqvist
You gat it bro
keanu reeves
And most definitely don't tell your contract killers where i'm headed
micheal nyqvist
Sure thing

To be continued...

shockwave91:


who's in that movie? Never heard of it...

It's all these asian gun-boxing assassin movies from 1995 back when gun-boxing assassin idea was awesome

narrator
next Alfie Allen takes keanu's car to the only chop shop in all of new york for new number plates and registration cause that's all you need to escape car theft,aggrevated assault and Home invasion charges
john leguizamo
Uh where did you get this car? i know this car it was specially made for one guy holy sh*t (smacks Alfie Allen) get outta my chop shop
Alfie Allen
ouch! all you had to do was ask me to leave. hmmm this is a real reason to whack someone but i will pass i've filled my batsh*t crazy quota for the day
narrator
meanwhile keanu reeves is busy [s]calling the cops to report a home invasion/car jacking[/s] taking a nap, burying his dog, having breakfast while catching up on some soaps, then he totally puts on a shirt stained with blood and takes a bus to see john leguizamo
[b]john leguizamo
Yea that's right some russian gringo brought your ride and i was like ese i ain't touching that cause it belongs to my amigo keanu and so go f*ck yourself
keanu reeves
O_o and it didn't occur to you that you could perhaps offer to safe keep it at the shop for a day or two and call me to clarify why a russian dude has my car?
john leguizamo
Oops i guessed that may have worked too
keanu reeves
So who is he
john leguizamo
Well his father is a russian gangster you used to work with its a suprise you don't know his son i mean you just quit the game 5years ago the least he could have been then was 25
keanu reeves
How do you know this exactly?
john leguizamo
Cause his dad called me and i told him the car belonged to you and you are likely gonna go rambo on their a*sses for stealing it
keanu reeves
ugh! You totally ratted me out? What da? Now they are gonna want me dead for sure you know you are a real a*ss hole(walks away)
narrator
Alfie Allen meets with his gangster russian father micheal nyqvist at home
micheal nyqvist
Hey everyone, i'm russian in this movie that's why i'm drinking a lot of alchohol and have santa claus like beards cause that's what a stereotypical russian looks like and here comes my son also with beards and a leather jacket because that's what russians look like, you know instead of all these racial stereotypes why didn't you just get real russian actors? anyway Did you just steal keanus car?
Alfie Allen
Yep, you want a ride?
micheal nyqvist
(Kicks son's a*ss) was there any reason you couldn't just buy the car from a dealership? i'm sure there are tons of them around you didn't have to steal baba yaga's car
Alfie Allen
O_o i stole the boogie man's car? Are smoking it or taking it in the arm?
micheal nyqvist
Shut up man that guy used to work for me, 5 years ago he got snatched by some girl and wanted to leave so i gave him his final assignment which was to whack all my competitors in one day and he did it under an hour......... hey that would have been a better storyline you know?
dean winters
Wait a minute so you had such a dangerous acquaintance and you decided to keep him alive? Why didn't you just kill him or teach your bodyguards keanu's skills incase he went batsh*t crazy and attacked you?
Alfie Allen
Oh sh*t! nice story dad if you excuse me i'm gonna go get laid in a public club
micheal nyqvist
Alright son have fun, ok so keanu reeves has totally declined from talking about this, i guess i have no choice than to send my kid outta the country for his safety a team of long ranged snipershitmen armed withassault rifles and bazookas handguns to keanus home so he can wipe his a*ss with them
narrator
meanwhile keanu takes a long shower and puts on his tailor made suit which he broke out of the ground with his guns and his past, because he needs to look good for his guests
keanu reeves
*deep breaths* it's showtime(kills everyone in a minute) that's it? so i'm the best hitman because i steal chow yun fat's gun boxing moves?
police officer
Knock knock
keanu reeves
Oh i bet you're the cop that almost put me away when i was still a hitman and now you are back with a vegeance
police officer
Actually i'm not, the neighbours just want you to keep the noise down, have fun killing people (walks away)
keanu reeves
O_o ok! Er i guess i have to clean this up then (picks up phone) hey i'll like an extra large pizza with russian pepperoni and 6 slices, anchovies not necessary
narrator
some removal dudes show up
David Patrick Kelly
In our line of business we talk in codes( even though a police man just saw keanu blatantly murder someone and didn't give a sh*t) , nice to see you again keanu you were our favourite customer because apparently hitmen now care about their victims having funerals
keanu reeves
Thank you for your services i shall now pay you in chocolate coins, apparently in the underworld we get paid in chocolate coins and don't bother asking what it's exchange rate is on the money market or how we survive on chocolate coins just go with it.....hmmm i can't work from here i have to camp at a hotel till my vegeance is over
narrator
keanu heads unto a hotel far away
Lance Reddick
Welcome to ubiytsa continental , i'm your concierge who has an african accent for no reason, do you have a reservation?
keanu reeves
Yes my usual suite please
Lance Reddick
Ok my friend so lemme once again explain the rules, no killing of assassins within ubiytsa premises
keanu reeves
Wait so the residents here are all assassins?
Lance Reddick
Yea it's like a boarding school for skilled assassins
james mcavoy
Hmmm that sounds familiar in a wanted kind of way
keanu reeves
So what happens if i almost kill someone in the hotel do i get penalized for that?what if i drag a resident outside the premises and kill them there do i go scot free? What if i find a vantage point close to the building and kill some one with a long range rifle........
Lance Reddick
that will be 2 chocolate coins thank you
keanu reeves
Hmmm i see you accept those too
red head chick
Hi keanu long time no see
keanu reeves
i can see you giving me f*ck me eyes this could either mean we are gonna play some extreme pelvic hockey or you are gonna try to kill me later
Adrianne Palicki
You deduced all that from
Hi keanu long time no see?
narrator
keanu meets ian mcshane propietor of ubiytsa continental and head of the assassins union newyork chapter
Keanu reeves
How can i find alfie allen?
ian mcshane
I can neither deny nor say for sure that i know nor ignore the location or disappearance of your target who may or may not be the son of ...........
keanu reeves
damn! Can you find him or not?
ian mcshane
Go have a drink at the bar
keanu reeves
thanks i happen to be thirsty
bartender
Hey keanu it's been ages you want the usual
keanu reeves
Yea a bloody mary not too thick with a slice of lime and crushed ice, so how much do i owe you adjusting for inflation and sh*t
bartender
Nah don't worry about it your chocolate coins are no good here seriously we take normal money here
narrator
keanu finds a note under his glass with alfie allen's location then keanu heads out to go prepare
micheal nyqvist
Hmmmm keanu sure relies alot on information maybe i should have bought ian mcshane's loyalty and asked him not to say sh*t to keanu, anyway time to sing a russian kindergaten rhyme(does so)
narrator
[s]keanu heads over to the club in stealth kills alfie allen in stealth and works away with his awesome stealthiness[/s] keanu begins murdering people who had nothing to do with his dog's death then he hesitates when he gets to alfie allen, Who then escapes and has keanu reeves chase him into the dancefloor of the club , keanu then opens fire killing more innocent people before keanu gets his a*ss kicked by Daniel
Bernhardt so keanu returns to his hotel to go cry
keanu reeves
Wow this is how i operate? It's a miracle that i'm not dead yet.Hey lance reddick send me my usual doctor to my room i just got f*cked up

To be continued........

shockwave91:
HE'S BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! HE'S BACK!!!

Lol. Dude leave John Wick 4 us abeg... D film is awesome

Oh thank you very much for the intro

Abeg John "weak" na joke go watch crying freeman it's way better

Csami:
You did well. I watch movies to fill happy but when I begin to think about it, it makes me sadder.
John wick is cool sha but the plot holes are thought provoking.

The movie would have worked better if it was a comedy, john wick's motive for revenge, the hotel, the police the syndicate all seemed too comical for an action thriller

enoquin:

Into the woods tried to do what the 'Once Upon
a Time' series did by incorporating and trying to
tie in different fairy tale characters (Red Riding
Hood, Cinderella, Razenpu something
something, Jack and the beanstalk)...it is a
musical with forgettable and annoying songs
definitely not like Les Miserables(on an adult
scale) or Ella Enchanted (for kiddies). And to
think that it is filled with stars!

Musical? Thanks for the heads up i shall avoid at all cost

Enoquin:


Thanks. When I meant the end, I meant they forced to stay together. Ben Afleck's character was awful and I didn't relate with his character even when I knew he was innocent.
As for the plot, leave hollywood. They are running out of good ideas, stories and scripts. Make them come, make I give them some. Most of their movies are filled with too many holes.
As for reviews, I just check imdb mainly for trivias, goofs and stuffs like that AFTER I have watched the movie and formed my own opinion.

Yes and please do one for 'Into the woods'

Ah man i felt sorry for ben affleck at the end just imagine living with a crazy person well on the bright side his bar will be getting business now which will slice his financial problems in half

Gone are the days when hollywood movies disappoint me, i don get special skill, now na from advert i go know as the whole film go be

Into the woods is that red riding hood?

Enoquin:


Link for that of gone girl I think the ending was befitting though...and continue this please.

https://www.nairaland.com/1994100/swing-miss-gone-girl
here you go , i didn't like the ending of gone girl, her motive was too shallow and her plan had a few loose ends like she didn't delete the footage from the surveillance camera which could show she wasn't kidnapped in the first place, the people who robbed her can always call her out and if they ran clinical tests on her when she returned home they would have known she wasn't pregnant as she claimed couldn't they even see that the urine sample belonged to her neighbour?

armadeo:

Dude you are epic. I have gone girl and it has
rave reviews though I haven't seen it.
Pls leave my mad max alone.
High octane poo. It didn't care about the plot
hole but I loved it.

i'll check out the mad max later for old times sake and #FriendlyAdvice no dey follow review, many times reviews has led me into confirm bush see john wick it's 85% on rotten tomatoes can you imagine? I no dey follow reviews for my life again

Enoquin:
Oh lawd! Please continue. Write one for 'Gone Girl' and 'Mad Max'

Oh lawd!

Hehehe actually i did gone girl too i was so mad when i saw it, they just ruined rosamund pike for me

narrator
derek kolstad has a ground breaking,fresh idea for a movie that will revolutionize the american movie industry
derek kolstad
hi guys remember me? the dude that wrote movies like scarface and body of liesthe package and one in the chamber, well i have a ground breaking, fresh idea for a movie that will revolutionize the american movie industry
eva longoria
Ok before a movie can be considered amazing you have to possess a smashing, storyline,screen play,cast,theme,direction and cinematography now blow me away
derek kolstad
How's this for mind blowing? The story is about a [s]chemistry teacher who transforms into the meth kingpin of new mexico amidst the mexican cartel and other deadly rivals[/s] a retired hitman who goes on a revenge mission against his former employer entitled john wick
The script is going to be written,proof written,edited and revised by non other than william monaghan me because #TeamAlaroro
As for themes and scores that will be handled by Marc Streitenfeld tyler bates yea that's right the dude that did halloween's depressing tunes
Cinematography shall be handled by roger deakinsjonathan sela and directing goes to martin campbell virgin director chad stahelski
Then about casting, jason statham keanu reeves is the good guy while ray liotamicheal nyqvist will play bad guy so what do you think?
eva longoria
i like it
narrator
keanu reeves is a handsome,fashionable, glamorous ex-hitman and affectionate husband with a kickass pad,kickass car who is happily married and totally does not suffer from PTSD or have yakuza gangsters declaring Fukushū on his a*ss
keanu reeves
yea i'm living the dream man i'm married to a hot mute for a wife
bridget moynahan
But i'm not a mute
keanu reeves
really?! but you've hardly said sh*t
bridget moynahan
yea someone thought it was a good idea to make my character as irrelevant as possible even though the reverse is the case
(Dies)
keanu reeves
You're dying now? Why?
bridget moynahan
Duh! i'm terminally ill
keanu reeves
Ok do the audience at least get details of the disease that killed my wife?
bridget moynahan
Nope
keanu reeves
This is so weird how are they supposed to connect with me when i don't even as much as mention my wifes name the entire movie? Perhaps they shouldn't have put her there in the first place, maybe the movie should have opened with me caressing her picture or standing over her grave that would have made more sense
narrator
at her funeral keanu reeves acts like he had a bad lunch rather than someone who just lost the love of his life, he bumps into willem his old buddy from the assassin days
willem dafoe
Hello keanu
keanu reeves
Oh awesome some action
willem dafoe
Actually i'm your friend/mentor in the assassin industry
keanu reeves
Really? So you're totally not distracting me so you can try to impale me with your glider?
willem dafoe
Ugh! *rolling eyes* listen i'm also retired too okay i just came to pay my last respects to your mom
keanu reeves
Actually it was my aunty
derek kolstad
it's your wife bridget monahan remember?
keanu reeves
Not my fault if she was actually in more than two scenes perhaps i would remember, for crying out loud we didn't even kiss she could totally count as my sister at this rate
willem dafoe
Whatever i care about you so much that i shall leave you alone to mourn your wife you know, the way good friends do
bridget monahan
Oh before i forget i totally just willed a puppy to you
keanu reeves
When did you do that? We've been married for 5 years and perhaps dated for even more so how come your "puppy" hasn't aged all this time?
bridget monahan
You're overthinking this honey anyway i got you a puppy to help you get over my death (because therapists don't exist in this movie)
keanu reeves
You sent me a puppy to get over you? Is this a hidden message that i become a vet?
bridget monahan
No
keanu reeves
So it's some dumb therapeutic bullsh*t you got from watching alot of Dr phil?
bridget monahan
What? No
keanu reeves
Wait a minute is this because i called you a b*tch that one time c'mon i apologized
bridget monahan
ugh! It's a plot device alright?
keanu reeves
Oh no have i been tricked into some kiddy flick like vin diesel in the pacifier?
How did i not see this coming?
bridget monahan
*scowls*
puppy
Hey i'm a cute little beagle pup named daisy, i'm self-toilet trained, i totally don't howl and bother you at night and i eat whatever sh*t you gimme i'm the perfect companion
keanu reeves
Awwww! Let's be friends you can totally replace my wife
narrator
keanu reeves is at a gas station when Alfie Allen
pulls up with his entourage
Alfie Allen
(In cheesy russian accent) hey guys i'm the most happy russian on earth and i'm also the reckless son of a russian gangster Michael Nyqvist

Boyd Holbrook
Hmmm that sounds familiar in a run all night kind of way
audience
Ugh! Russian gangsters again?what's the deal man? Taken 3 russian gangsters, equalizer russian gangsters
Jeez why don't you try shifting to irish mobsters or chinese triad gangs? Communism is no longer a threat so take it easy with sh*tting on russia
Alfie Allen
Hey keanu i love your ride
keanu reeves
Whatever
Alfie Allen
Sell it to me?
keanu reeves
No
Alfie Allen
Grrrrr! You're f*cked i'm also a hot head you are so dead
keanu reeves
Hmmn i just offended the son of the dude i used to work for perhaps i should give him a call and report his son...........nah! Everything is okay
puppy
Yea and your house is totally buffed with booby traps for intruders
keanu reeves
No of course not
puppy
Ok you have a gun in case of home invasions?
keanu reeves
I totally buried my guns under the house in case i had to revenge a friend or something
puppy
Why didn't you just dump it in the trash like a normal person? anyway i bet you are a bada*ss ninja who hasn't forgotten his tricks
Alfie Allen
privyet motherf*cker(whacks the puppy and keanu's nuts with a baseball bat)

keanu reeves
Ouch a whack in the nuts that's my kryptonite sorry pup but you are on your own
narrator
Alfie Allen unveils his face
puppy
You? But i thought your bodyguard reprimanded you and told us to have a nice drive home, how do you even know where we live? If you were tailing us how did keanu not notice? (Dies)
Alfie Allen
Now that i've shown you my face i shall [s]kill you and get rid of all the evidence of my home invasion[/s] steal your car and leave the lasting image of my face in your memory you know just incase you call the police or seek retribution against me Do svidaniya
(drives off)
keanu reeves
Phew! So i guess this is still an action movie

To be continued......

Anticipate hollywood movies at your own peril, they will just grab your cash and sh*t on your hopes
#ClassicHollywood

@op get a car and stop being sexy

shockwave91:


i haven't seen it but i hear the movie is AMAZEBALLS!!! Best M.I movie so far. Infact, a movie pundit @ forbes said the movie is better than the past Bond films & Spectre's got a lot of convincing to do. I can't wait to check it out mehn...

Ah guy no o I no dey follow pundits mouth again o na so them overhype prometheus see wetin happen at the end

help me watch am na I go re-imburse you

shockwave91:


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Dem be 3 or 4 now wey dey argue abi?? The thing don give ur thread like 6 pages now. Ma money's on d dude

Hahahahahahahahaha

How far have you seen rogue nation?abeg tell me if it was good or bad so I will know whether to avoid it
I'm an mi fan and I would hate to allow one movie ruin everything For me

shockwave91:
the people above the 2 people above me and below severee's last post are full of sh*t!


Severee see how ur thread has been hijacked and turned into summerslam. Sorry mehn...

Hi jack ke? Me wey dey use them gamble with my room mates no dulling man take advantage of every situation my money is on epps female pirhana

Girl no disappoint

narrator
The avengers begin whooping a*ss
robert downey jr
Hey look i'm flying around instead of trying to hack into james spaders droid henchmens system or using an EMP on them or something
jeremy renner
And i'm fighting off these robots with my multiple choice arrows try to top that stephen amell
chris hemsworth
and i'm calling lightening when the sun is out
aaron tyler
I'm feeling the need the need for speed
mark ruffalo
Hulk go crazy and smash robot like in avengers part 1 and hulk no worry about killing this time cause hulk kill robots
sokovians
We are dying and needing help but those saved by the avengers are televised while we sweep under the carpet the ones falling to their death
jeremy renner
Hey why don't robert downey do the monkey sky rescue he did in iron man 3?
paul bettany
I'm ripping robots apart
jeremy renner
Really wasn't paul born yesterday who taught him how to fight?
don cheadle
And i'm here to........am sorry why am i here again?
joss whedon
Good question f*ck off
don cheadle
okay
droids
Hey we're droids and we were made with no skills and to fall apart like lego toys when anyone touches us
scarlett johansson
And i'm kicking robot a*sses and trying to look sexy while i do cause that's what little kids came to see
narrator
Shield's floatinf fortress arrives with samuel l jackson, cobbie smulders and the tons of undercover hydra agents that caused shield to shut down in the first place
aaron tyler
What's that noise? Is that godzilla? I thought he wasn't in this movie?
chris evans
No my friend that is shield being what its supposed to be
aaron tyler
really? Shield is a life guard? i was expecting them to be an agency who stops threats before they happen
samuel l jackson
Hmmm i wonder why people are running around like we are just getting started didn't we station hours before getting here?
jeremy renner
Hey note to villains when you want to attack or invade the world you should focus on attacking continents simultaneously not focusing all of your resources on one city don't you think the rest of the world will nut up and prepare for your impending visit after this attack james? James? Where is he?
james spader
Hi guys i've abandoned my tight schedule to kick the sh*t out of chris hemsworth Wait a minute where is your hammer?
paul bettany
PEAROD b*tches(knocks james out the window)
narrator
Suddenly the avengers gather in some kind of gazibo
james spader
Well poland sokovia is high enough in the air perhaps i should drop it on another country to keep the avengers busy with saving all the people and move to the next country to terrorize but screw that, i shall fight the avengers with all of my resources robots ATTACK!
narrator
Remember when the avengers gathered round and was kicking demon alien a*sses in the part 1 well they do it again i guess joss just looooooves to insult our intelligence
scarlett johansson
Hey why aren't aaron taylor and elizabeth olsen attacking us? And who is that tanned guy?
jeremy renner
Lady i ask the questions here
narrator
So they fight, they fight, they fight and sometimes bite and they fight some more and i think don cheadle showed up but i can't really say cause he disappeared or was sidelined two seconds later
robert downey jr
Alright boys time to kill james spader
chris hemsworth
So how do we do it?
robert downey jr
Er em eh you know what? I'm too tired to think let's just blast him away the way i did mickey rouke in iron man 2
james spader
Ha! Feel free to blast away its not like i don't have another copy of james spader stashed away somewhere........i don't have another body duplicate
Oh sh*t (hops into the quinjet)
jeremy renner
Hey how come chris evans shield can withstand force and blasts but james falls apart so easily?
joss whedon
shut up
jeremy renner
And couldn't james just eat up paul again and build a robot using robert's lab?
joss whedon
Shut up
jeremy renner
And what's that stuff robert keeps using to blast things? and why don't they ever run out? and how does he load it unto his suit? And how come it doesn't over heat his suit?
joss whedon
uh jeremy why don't you go help that little boy over at the corner
jeremy renner
Hmmmm sounds like a trap but i don't have anything doing so........
joss whedon
james you are up
james spader
(Flying the quinjet)
Ladidadi i hate everybody i wanna cause trouble so i'll shoot everybody
narrator
But just as jeremy renner is about to be introduced to bullets marvel springs an clark gregg death scene on us because the avengers tradition must be go on
jeremy renner
You got shot? Aren't you faster than bullets?
aaron taylor
Yea but i just saw peter evans in days of future past and decided to kill myself for being so lame i just hope marvel haven't bought the lazarus pit from DC comics and choose to wake me up with it erk!(Dies)
joss whedon
i bet no one saw that coming?
audience
Well we saw elizabeth scream in the trailer which could either mean she was taking a huge dump or she was moruning someone , so we connected the dots
joss whedon

jeremy renner
I'm not dead? wohooo(gets blasted in the nuts again) really marvel? anyway hey elizabeth you can come out now your brother just OverDosed on bullets
elizabeth olsen
Oh no my brother has been killed with bullets created by robert downey from a plane created by robert downey been piloted by an AI created by robert downey this increases the pressure on my revenge-ometer ok maybe james was right our objective for going after the avengers is totally lame
samuel l jackson
Em i have to nuke the city of floatopia so it won't crush the rest of the city
cobbie smulders
Ok let's do it, i mean it's not like the radiation or debris from the explosion will affect the city on ground right?
chris evans
Avengers gather all these people unto the hellicarrier before the nuke gets here
james spader
Hmmm there's the nuke the fight the invasion oh no don't tell me the next thing that's going to happen is.....
mark ruffalo
Holla motherf*cker(tosses james out of the quinjet)
james spader
Ouch!
narrator
Elizabeth confronts james all sexy like
james spader
and here i was thinking this wasn't an er*tic thriller
elizabeth olsen
Hey baby where does it hurt perhaps i can kiss you there(flips through script) oh i'm supposed to kill you phew! For a second there i thought i was about to fellate a robot i had already packed my hair back and everything
james spader
So you're risking your life to destroy one of my copies? You're not too bright are you?
scarlett johansson
Hey mark our mission is over time for us to elope
mark ruffalo
*rolling eyes* after the gross story you told me? Please i'll rather elope with my right hand you clingy c*nt(cuts video call) hey how come hulk fly quinjet? hulk hand too big for controls
narrator
So the avengers save a city the world again even though sokovians no longer have homes, may lose their sh*t for experiencing such a traumatizing attack and sokovia is practically chernobyl but who cares? The avengers killed the bad guy that they created so i guess that counts as saving the world am i right? , next james spader is in the woods when he meets paul bettany
james spader
Oh look at that body just check it out check out all the goodies it should have been mine
paul bettany
reel it in creepy i'm your son,any way i'm here to thank you for giving me life BY KILLING YOU
james spader
kill me? Have i been deleted from the internet yet?
paul bettany
Let's just assume that part of you was offscreened to death
james spader
Oh come on you can't kill me i'm your pops you need me to guide you through life and teach you what i've learnt from all the time i've spent on earth
paul bettany
Dude you are totally a week old,i think i will do alot better with my other dad paul bettany who is way older than you
james spader
Ok fine i would like to know how scarlett and mark patched things up she looked pretty sad about how things were between them
paul bettany
Scarlett? Whose scarlett?
james spader
Damn it okay fine c'mon we are both the only AI droids on earth, can't we just bond for a bit? You know in a denny crane and alan shore balcony style i've got my cubans
paul bettany
No
james spader
Can i rub your nuts for good luck?
paul bettany
What kind of question is that? no
james spader
Oh barnicles
paul bettany
Happy fathers day dad (flashes james to death)
james spader
Ouch! All you had to do was yank out my battery was the showing off necessary? Erk!(Dies)
narrator
[s]so the avengers folds up because their, Benefactor robert downey jr gets arrested for assisting terrorism/genocide and they leave world policing to the real world police who have built an avengers team of their own based on war machines designs,mark ruffalos blood sample with tim roth and stronger super hero steroids the type used on sebastian stan ,elizabeth puts mark into a trance which stops him from getting angry and turning into the hulk after which she sets off to take revenge on stark enterprises for the loss of her family,jeremy goes post traumatic and murders his whole family,scarlett opens a match-making business and cobbie takes classes on how to be a more interesting character, chris hemsworth lives with natalie portman as a stay at home husband and oh chris evans finally buys a home with his avengers severance pay[/s] the avengers all say their goodbye like a movie from the 90s
robert downey jr
See you boys later i'm returning to my billion dollar home in my kick-ass auto pilot sports car even though i just killed and displaced thousands of people
samuel l jackson
Yea and rather than building back the homes of the displaced people, we've decided to build this ultra-sexy avengers facility
chris hemsworth
And i'm returning to asgard because exile has another meaning in my kingdom(vanishes)
jeremy renner
And i shall be returning home to do whatever i do that no one really gives a flying f*ck about
scarlett johansson
Aw! Mark isn't picking my calls i'm so heart broken(2seconds later) alright i'm good again let's go drill those cadets who are way more stronger and skilled than we are
chris evans
Yea man i'm home no really i'm home i totally am going to be sleeping in my office and wearing this ridiculous outfit for the rest of my life, now lets go put the fear of God into the avengers division"lucky to be here"

anthony mackie
Anothony mackie reporting for duty even rather than staying away from the military you know since i never shut up about how i lost a friend in the iraqi war
don cheadle
Don cheadle leaving the army as a decorated officer to go join a private security company sound choice my friend
paul bettany
Paul bettany reporting for duty i'm just glad i'm in no cheesy AI movie with johny depp anymore
elizabeth olsen
Elizabeth olsen reporting for duty? Wait a minute don't i join the brotherhood? This is like harley queen leaving the suicide squad and joining the justice league
joss whedon
Well at least i didn't make you f*ck your dad like spike lee
elizabeth olsen
good point
thanos
Damn! I'm still in this movie(puts on glove) gotta go get killed-off "i shall do it myself"
joss whedon
Oh my chris has returned to asgard, mark is missing, robert is retired again and the avengers on ground are basically trainees, how will they stand against the fury of thanos? how will they protect the world? oh the stakes are so high...........ehn we will just delete that and act like they never happened
End

kayo80:


Dude, go and watch John Wick, trust me, you will never regret it.

i don't wanna i hate when they torture animals in movies

shockwave91:


John Wick?? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Didn't see the movie though, i'm getting tired of the assassin vs thugs revenge thrillers i've seen like 4 of them this year alone
Plus i heard they murdered a puppy for no reason

Shebi dem talk say na babangida house be that? Na only God know who come get house

GJames:

I mentioned it also that i don't like Loki.

then i agree with you as well

GJames:

Eapps, here is your answer. As for baddass villains, Loki is hugely regarded as the only superb villain in the MCU (I'm not feeling him though). As for severee, good job, keep it up.

thanks, i kinda agree with epps though loki is pretty boring

shockwave91:
severee i don't think u'll need to do a "swing and a miss" for fantastic four. The movie sounds like pure sh*t. Check out the critics consensus for the movie. LOL!

Of all movies to reboot na fantastic 4 them go do, loox to me like they have a lot of cash to burn besides dc would make them sit up when they start their own super hero movies

mrmagoo:
U go fear debaters

Eapps i will be

Very disappointed with you if you aren't a lawyer or pursuing a career in law (Y)

Where is that Op? Have you crawled into your hole because people aren't praising your lazy hobby this time heheheheheheheheh lwkmd

better thing no dey ever commot your mouth?

Eapps:


Smh nairalanders please make una help am laugh

epic

chris evans
Jeremy renner.....come in jeremy renner
jeremy renner
Dude you are still alive? How did you survive james blasting you with his chest laser canon?
chris evans
Oh that happened? Ehn let's just shrug it off and try not to remember how i ended up in a hospital when i got shot with bullets in winter soldier
jeremy renner
yea that will be inconsistency at its best, anyway status report
chris evans
Well we've trashed korea making this the second country we've wrecked in this movie but its cool everyone seems to be ok with it
jeremy renner
leaving sorrow tears and blood behind you gotta love the avengers
chris evans
And scarlett is missing good thing we can track her right?
jeremy renner
No we can't
chris evans
Really? Didn't we shove something down her throat........ wait that didn't come out right
jeremy renner
No we don't track our agents cause we believe in the right to privacy in the avengers
chris evans
O_o rrrrrrrright! Anyway what about her gadgets can we track them?
jeremy renner
Robert downey only creates only super computers and things that go boom he doesn't have time to create tracking devices
chris evans
Ok then perhaps you could chase down the flying truck?
jeremy renner
Yea my arm is tired
chris evans
Aww! But she's one of us
jeremy renner
Who has two thumbs and doesn't give a sh*t? this guy(pointing at himself)
That would teach her to kick my butt
chris evans
Lang....ugh why do i even bother *rolling eyes* Anyway i've captured james enablers
jeremy renner
Who? The dude with a crush on me and his creepy sister? Awesome
chris evans
And We are not prosecuting them
jeremy renner
Say what?
chris evans
They are totally on our side now
jeremy renner
Yea a Telepathic mutant and her bullet speed bro dragging along a dangerous droid with part of james consciousness in it, o yea they can totally be handled
chris evans
What's that supposed to mean?
jeremy renner
Look why don't we serve up elizabeth to the africans? afterall they are asking for mark's head for what happened in south-africa wakanda and she was the real culprit here she can't just support terrorism, back down and get away with it without even a slap on the wrist that's not how things work
saddam hussein
yea tell me about it
chris evans
that's against my policy i never turn over my enemies, only security agencies whom i expose real good to the whole world including villains What an irony how am i the good guy here?
jeremy renner
*rolling eyes* anyway what's the situation with the droid?
chris evans
Well we have the droid and currently it's in the hands of robert
jeremy renner
What the f*ck?
elizabeth olsen
Yea have you got saw dust or chicken sh*t for brains? You are totally leaving something that dangerous in the hands of robert downey jr AGAIN? Isn't that how we got here in the first place
chris evans
Sh*t you're right! you guys are bad role models
Guess it's time to show the fan boys a clip of what captain america civil war would be like,
narrator
Meanwhile chris hemsworth approaches Stellan Skarsgard for help
chris hemsworth
Hey dr Skarsgard so i was totally mind f*cked by a hypnotist and i feel i should try to understand what happened
Stellan Skarsgard
Yea just like visiting a neurologist to treat a bruise on your head
chris hemsworth
But i saw idris elba and he kept saying i killed them all
Stellan Skarsgard
Maybe that's because you broke tom hiddleson out of prison for diddly squat reasons and ended up with your a*ss getting kicked out of asgard, tom grabbing anthony hopkins throne and perhaps killing everyone else
chris hemsworth
I need to take a bath in lake "underground" which strangely is still not area 51 by now you know despite all the weird sh*t that happens here, anyway a bath would get my head around this
Stellan Skarsgard
And what do you need me for again?
chris hemsworth
to watch me swim n*ked
Stellan Skarsgard
Gross! Isn't that something you should ask natalie portman to do with you?
chris hemsworth
No it's too dangerous for her
Stellan Skarsgard
*rolling eyes* here's an idea why don't you ask elizabeth olsen what she zapped into you head?
joss whedon
Because i'm too busy duplicating avengers part 1 this part will count as the part where the avengers lost to the villain and split up to go accomplish mudane objectives, plus.......... we need to get chris n*ked to compensate the chicks and the gay dudes in the audience
chris hemsworth
Grrrr i'm having a vision, the vision i'm having is a special vision which in my vision is a capital vision because VISION
audience
Ugh we get it vision is joining the avengers today could you go on with it?
chris hemsworth
ahem! Hello? Having a vision here? *takes deep breath* VISIONNNN......... You know what? *sigh* this is silly but it beats starring in red dawn though
narrator
Meanwhile robert downey jr is busy NOT LEARNING FROM HIS MISTAKES when mark walks in

mark ruffalo
Hey i just destroyed an african city and my love interest scarlett johansson is missing but screw that sh*t i'm not even going to panic or act worried lets do some science sh*t
robert downey jr
Hey mark you are just in time to catch me awaken an unpredictable and indestructable droid with about 70% of james spaders consciousness
mark ruffalo
Seriously? why?
robert downey jr
Because i'm going to put paul bettany's consciousness into it this time
mark ruffalo
Shouldn't we be returning it to the korean hospital? Now the avengers steal, kill and terrify people it's official, heroes and villains have different meanings in marvel dictionary.......... wait a minute how is paul bettany alive again
robert downey jr
Well all i did was the part where you jiggle an electron on one side of the universe and an invisible force traverses millions of light years and smacks another electron into wiggling instantaneously, which is about a million years faster than is technically possible without time travel.
audience

chris evans
complicated science theories isn't an excuse to avoid plot details raaaaaagh!(Proceeds to whoop robert's a*ss)
Robert downey jr
Hey paul handle chris for me while i perform a lazarus on the droid
chris hemsworth
(Hopping out of no where) I don show (fries the robot with his hammer)
robert downey jr/chris evans
hey man not cool
robert downey jr
Wait a minute whose side are you on by the way? Are you destroying it or giving it juice to revive it
mark ruffalo
I think he was trying to kill it clearly chris doesn't know the procedure robert was using to bring it to life neither did he know the status of robert's activity infact this is literally the first time he's seen it
chris hemsworth
Actually i was trying to revive it since in marvel universe lightening can do anything
paul bettany
Yawn! Who woke me up from my beauty sleep f*ck yeah i'm finally a billion dollar movie wohoo!(Goes nuts)
mark ruffalo
it's alive it's alive it's........... Stealing from frankenstein seriously marvel?
chris evans
Robert WHAT!!! HAVE!!! YOU!!! DONE?!!!
robert downey jr
Oops this dude can fly, shape shift and...........
paul bettany
........... I totally just lifted chris hemsworth's hammer
chris hemsworth
Oh man we're f*cked
chris evans
*scowls*
paul bettany
But fortunately even though i'm partly james spader i'm totally a good guy because i am also part paul bettany............. And i know that screams homo parenting but i'll like to see the kid who would make fun of me on the school bus, now let's go kick some a*ss
scarlett johansson
does anyone care about my a*ss getting kidnapped by a murderous robot?
jeremy renner
Fine! Hey guys we just lazily located james spader, turns out he has scarlett captive in polandsokovia along with all of hydra's technology, resources and some bullsh*t telegraph from last century which scarlett is conveniently using to communicate with us
chris evans
Alright guys suit up we are going in for the battle finale against james and his metallic droid army
aaron tyler
Cool that means i get to seat this one out
chris evans
No these robots can easily be defeated by one punch from anyone so go suit up
aaron tyler
Oh no not my embarrassing green leotard from kickass
chris evans
No of course not instead you shall wear a track suit and sneakers cause hey that's cool in eastern europe am i right? Ok we shall evacuate the whole of the city that's right the 7 of us are going to evacuate a population of a bazillion, kajillion wajillion people
audience
wow you mean you are not going to have your finale in a city with tons of screaming people in danger
chris evans
PSYCHE! Like we are gonna let that cliche slide of course that's gonna happen
narrator
Meanwhile remember how scarlett had a one on one talk with tom hiddleson in avengers one? Well they are doing it again this time with scarlett in captivity because........FORMULA
james spader
So scarlett i'm a lonely AI who needs company let's chat up
scarlett johansson
Ok was that your first kiss........oops wrong script i mean, why did you want to upload yourself into another life form? sounds like someones been watching too much child's play

james spader
No, its more like a pinnochio reference i was born with "strings" and now i want to be a real boy it's a nod to disney for making marvel a billion dollars so now my question, does your flourescent suit have a use or are you just trying to piss off tron legacy?
scarlett johansson
My question next, how do you plan to destroy the world?
james spader
With vibranium
scarlett johansson
You mean you'll infect the world's water supply with vibranium?
james spader
Nope
scarlett johansson
You gonna build an army of vibranium robots and fly them around in vibranium covered aircrafts and attack people with them
james spader
What? no
scarlett johansson
You wanna fire a vibraium crusted missile at china and attach a note that America did it?
james spader
No i'm gonna apply it to a hydraulics machine i stole from man of steel then i'll pick up each city in the world and throw it down till it turns into mush
scarlett johansson
*snap* brrrrrr sorry i dozed off while listening to the most boring villain evil plan ever
narrators
The avengers head to poland sokovia to save the world
jeremy renner
Why can't the polish sokovian national guard control the evacuation and rescue
paul bettany
Are we there yet?
jeremy renner
Why is the polishsokovian military isn't freaking out about their airspace occupied by a bunch of murderous psychopaths?

paul bettany
Are we there yet?
jeremy renner
So we are stopping james spaders evil plan how do we know poland sokovia is his end game?

paul bettany
Are we there yet?
jeremy renner
How come we are trying to save polish sokovians who hate us for unexplained reasons?
robert downey jr
O they are totally cool with us for unexplained reasons
paul bettany
Are we there yet?
jeremy renner
How come the twins are about two feet away from robert downey jr and yet they ain't trying to kill him or at least confront him for allegedly killing their parents?
paul bettany
Are we there yet?
jeremy renner
If paul bettany was just born yesterday how come he can speak english so clearly
paul bettany
shut up pink-eye
jeremy renner
hey that was 3 years ago
You shut up
paul bettany
No you shut up
jeremy renner
No you shut up
paul bettany
No you shut up
jeremy renner
No you shut up
paul bettany
No you shut up
jeremy renner
No you shut up
chris evans
Worst family trip ever
mark ruffalo
Tell me about it
narrator
Meanwhile james spader has kicked his plan up in the air no really half of poland sokovia is in the sky and even almost out of the stratosphere because what a CGI drunk movie needs is MORE CGI
chris evans
Oh my God all those people must be running out of oxygen because of the height we must hurry

sokovians
no hurry we are totally fine just go kickass
jeremy renner
How come the ground isn't splitting from you know GRAVITY and IMBALANCE?
mark ruffalo
Scarlett is still alive? Wow looks like james is getting soft anyway i'll free you with this guns designed from the sceptre
jeremy renner
Wait a minute why didn't hydra just brain wash world leaders to do their bidding with the sceptre?
mark ruffalo
Can it jeremy don't you have some reharshed pep talk to give to a female lead
jeremy renner
Oh that's right hey elizabeth quit being a p*ssy.............oh never mind just wait here till i say you can come out ok?

To be continued....

@shockwave91 lol thanx man! That movie was just a 200million dollar joke,one thing I enjoy in a movie whether horror comedy, nollywood or hollywood is a good story but avengers? There was no storyline, do the avengers have to save the world from an invasion allllllllllllll the time? First the movie started well it looked like the avengers were facing scrutiny and despair from the public and the government while doing their jobs, but they abandoned that in like 10 seconds and made them look like celebrity assassins, or when ultron first appeared, it looked like he was out for just the avengers and that would have made brain but before I could blink twice ultron was trying to destroy the world for no reason, them come start to dey force st*pid subplots like black widow falling in love or hawkman having a secret family smh as if they weren't boring enough

Then there was the extra and unnecessary characters e.g: the maximoff twins who did nothing important thru out the movie or that yeye vision or that korean doctor even the weapons dealer in wakanda was all that necessary?

And the part that made me lose my sh*t was the continuity, thor can travel back to asgard now despite being banished, iron man all of a sudden is wearing his suits again like nothing happened, hulk can control himself only when the plot wants him to, captain america is no longer searching for the winter soldier, even nick fury isn't hunting hydra agents anymore what the hell

Man God abeg bless my hustle the way you bless marvel hustle o where I no go work at all and I go still make 1.3 billion dollars
This is the laziest MCU movie even by MCU lazy movie standard

mrmagoo:
@ecoblitz @badinfluence o god why are you people answering this fool? We know the op's type, tries to be noticed by being controversial is it by force to get attention
Of all movies its art like avengers 2 u're picking on
Ignorant thing

Oops looks like you picked the wrong people to side you on this one, my man badinfluence hates the movie and ecoblitz is just here show off his knowledge of the comics at the age of wikkipedia and PDF, weird but its allowed

Then as for you magoo i know your problem e pain you say film wey you like sucks so bad i know the feeling i've loved terrible movies too but it's not a bad thing it won't kill you na
take heart my broda

EcoBlitz:


It didn't come from a planet, Thanos gave it to loki. You probably didn't understand the meaning of Thanos' appearance in the end of Avenger 1 and GOTG

Yes and thanos came out of thin air am i right?

EcoBlitz:


1 is a god they can't do *hit against, another is a soldier who won a war for them, so they respect him, another is a billionaire and influential man that holds their secrets and is very powerful, so they can't do much to him, the rest have publicly saved the world. I think that answers your question.

Yea 1 is a god that is vulnerable to stab wounds courtesy of loki in avengers 1
The other is a super soldier created by human made steroids from the 40s(he didn't win ww2 he was asleep when it ended) 1 has a battle suit which was trashed by a truck in iron man 3 and the"secrets"He holds was probably dished out to the public in winter soldier, 1 is a monster created by a potion readily avalable to the united states army and the others are p*ssies

EcoBlitz:

Forgetting marvel started production 1940's apart from that, continue.

Dr jekyll and mr hyde was composed in 1931 at leastyou for check google before you talk this one na

EcoBlitz:

Nice one.

Aww i'm blushing

EcoBlitz:

It was already inside it.
Got side tracked, will continue later.

An AI was in a sceptre? yan me more tori man

EcoBlitz:

Yeah, definitely, it's their fault for not refusing movie roles that would make them more popular and earn then money.

Yea it's their fault for choosing crappy forgettable movies that didn't do them any favors, i know it's their job and all but they should at least try to be selective with the jobs they accept tasteful choices that's why leonardo dicaprio that had little hollywood connection is doing much better than Nicholas cage who is a nephew to Frank coppola

EcoBlitz:

Because he completely forgot how to make something he has done more than 30 times right? Dude this was lame, you obviously do not read the comics. An even more ridiculous suit is coming out, we won't even get to see his celestial armour. But am good with bleeding edge :-D

calm down i know you are familiar with the comics but didn't tony stark blow up his suits at the end of the iron man 3 saying i'm a changed man and indicating that he was retired from super hero work? We all knew he would return as iron man in the avengers but what was his reason for coming out of retirement? That went totally unexplained

EcoBlitz:

Once again you obviously don't read comics, she was backed by tony, you know the guy who has so much lawyers the government don't even bother. It's the same reason why Maria Hill isn't in prison that she isn't.

Actually realism is the question here, i know you'll say its just a comic but if terrorism is a crime in their universe then so should leaking sensitive government secrets, but we never saw them reprimand or even warn black widow and the thing you said about tony stark having connections is bullsh*t even though you be obama first born son you can't leak such sensitive materials to the public and go scot free but in black widow's case she didn't even need tony's connections all she did was give a weak speech and stroll out of government hearing
At the end of winter soldier

EcoBlitz:

Yeah definitely, bikes cannot be recreated ever again after they have been destroyed. Especially if you are friends with a technological genius who is also a billionaire.

Guy abeg that's no excuse if you said details aren't important i would even agree with you but we saw him lose the bike and all of a sudden he has the same bike like nothing ever happpened that is a plothole and we all know how annoying that can be

EcoBlitz:

Really dude? This doesn't even need a reply.

Yea i know pg-rated movie but all the same it's FAKE and laughable

EcoBlitz:

Wow, i still have asguarding powers because i am a *UCKING ASGUARDING BY BIRTH, and i also have mthe magical hammer my father made especially for me. :-)

Yea but he was stripped off his powers during his temporary exile in the part 1 i was hoping a permanent banishement will attract even steeper punishment
Especially when this time it was for treason

EcoBlitz:

Agents of Shield is rated 8.5/10 that's pretty high.

Yea i'm familiar over-exaggerated ratings the same thing "Gotham" series suffers from

EcoBlitz:

UN doesn't charge us because we kill the bad guys, the same thing they are currently doing in Syria, Iraq and the middle east.

ok so just because they are "bad guys" any civilian can carry out unauthorized mass murder, i know i am expecting too much from a child's flick but it makes you not want to take the movie seriously don't you agree

EcoBlitz:

Apparently you forgot that their
technology was power by the scepter, hence the blue shield.

Still a realism issue here the shield bit seemed to cartoonish, that was my point

EcoBlitz:

Wow, obnoxious European accents? Am sorry, you must have forgotten where they were born, when you remember, get back to me

.

Yea i called it obnoxious cause it sounded like some fake accent they picked up from watching too much stereotypes on saturday night live

EcoBlitz:

You obviously do not know what an avalanche is, quick silver can't create an avalanche, and scarlet witch doesn't control people, she isn't telepathic. Her real power hasn't even been visited yet.

But quick silver can vibrate and vibrations from a guy who was effortlessly trashing robots can cause tremors and tremors in a snowy setpiece can cause an avalanche if he works it right
And the same way the scarlet witch made hulk trash that african city
couldn't she do the same to make him trash the avengers earlier on?

EcoBlitz:

Irrelevant.

Very funny why did scarlet witch and quick silver want to take down the avengers? wasn't it because of tony stark? So there he was vulnerable and alone but they don't touch him? What the f*ck was that?

EcoBlitz:

No, that wasn't the reason.

O_o so the worm hole incident from avengers 1 wasn't giving tony stark nightmares and panic attacks? Ok what was the reason then?

EcoBlitz:

IT wasn't a dream, that was a teaser to Captain america : civil war and Marvel : infinity wars(Basically thor 2 and GOTG where both lead ups to Infinity Wars), you probably don't know much about those titles because YOU DON'T READ THE COMICS!!!!!, So please kindly STFU. :-)

lol which kind bullsh*t yans be that? So na movie sequels dey inside tony stark head? Guy. Come back when your excuse is less silly and insulting

EcoBlitz:

This scene i didn't understand.

Yea that's kind of 18+ confirm your age and i will explain it to you

EcoBlitz:

This was actually hilarious.

yea i know thanks for reading