₦airaland Forum

omotf:
I think you should go with EYES SHADOW'S advice, allow this guy to go; start a new life,if he really need you he will come back sincerely but with the look of things coupled with Ur explanation i think he comes back to revenge for the pain you once cause him so you need to go first before he ask you to stop coming to him.

I didn't go after him, he came back on his own.

Ejadamen:
How do you block numbers on your phone? I need to learn that skill. As for the no meeting up thing i do that for those exes i do not trust. I can smell their lust form far

Lmao!!! I can put the no on reject list with my samsung fone, easy. And gud 4 u 2 stay away frm those no-gud exes.

Ejadamen:
Like i said some have become my very good friends. I usually meet up with them for genuine reasons e.g. my car spoilt at ijebu ode and i do not know the place well so i pick up my phone and call the only person i can at the time, i am in lagos for a week and have to get to Ikeja(i hate that place!) and guess who lives around there and can direct me to where i'm going or better still take me there.
Bottomline is my meetings are a mix of business and pleasure. To be honest,i meet up when i need something from them and catch up while we meet up
If you can't handle the meet ups then don't.

Ok I see, For me I dnt even have an ex number in my fone(they still have mine) so I just speak with them when they do call and when they wana meet i'm not available. My 1st ex still calls me frm time 2 time, when i do bump into him we do chat & catch up. My latest ex, i blocked hiz no on my fone. The ex that called me 2 meet up with him and I agreed wanted to patch things up & i wanted the same, so we are back together now. The others must stay exes(no meeting up), Lol!!!

Ejadamen:
@ Poster, as for experiences, i have met up with several of my exes,still keep in touch with some to date actually, and it has not been an issue only because i set boundaries AND controlled the meeting. I met up with an ex of mine last week, we had lunch, he made some flirty remarks which i dismissed pronto and we went our separate ways in peace. The exes i keep in touch with are my very good friends now so if this your ex can translate into one, cool. Also it took some time to translate into that plus a demonstration of plenty discipline to drum into their heads that once de be is not always de be

Why do you keep meeting with exes? If I may ask. I don't understand the whole point of meeting with an ex.

U can meet up wit an ex only if u r totaly ova him & dnt feel anythng 4 him. If u stil hv feelins 4 da guy dnt evn get close 2 him unless u wnt him bak, evn so u shud mk him sweat a bit like tel him u busy so dt he wont thnk u were waitin 4 him 2 come bak. Dts my own opinion.

C2H5OH:
With your two timing ass.  You will end up becoming a fork buddy.  They know you aren't wife material.

Mind you, i am not two timing anyone here. If you read my post well i said i met him when i just broke up with my ex , so its not like i was cheating on anyone and when i got back together with my ex. He left me before i even got the chance to explain things to him. And now he is back and this time again i broke up with my ex(the 1 he left me for). Its just now he wants to take things slowly and i want an advise in how to make him trust me again  and not think i will go back to that ex bf again.

Sweet T:
@poster.

Did you cheat on him?? If so you can forget about the trust thing. Most men cant handle being betrayed, he will throw it in your face soon or later. He may be able to forgive but i gurantee you he won't forget.

I didn't cheat on him, i just got back with the guy i was having problems with before i met him(which he didn't even know about the problems in the 1st place), coz i told him that i was in a r/s. And the guy i got back with was miles away for him to even get mad.

Sweet T:
@Poster

Now that i read your post i got a clear picture. Quit playing games and get real. You will lose at the end of the day. make a stand and stick to it. This is one of the reasons why some men treat girls like rags. Hide and seek game.

Can you explain what you mean?

bluespice:
in as much as this was kinda confusing,
ill simply answer the question posed as the topic . . .

u can only get a person to trust u again after u prove urself to such a person and if the person is willing to trust u or even give u a second chance

one that can never belive u can be trusted irrespective of whatever u do, will never trust u
its the sad truth dearie

We kinda working on the trust thing and he is being back to his old self around me but slowly.

Thanx guyz, but the question is how do i work on it. I don't want to make him feel pressured and at the same time I would like to spent more time with him.

van der jo:
@poster,
its hard but it takes time,you ran back to him cuz the one u really luv is no more,it isn't fair girlie

@van der jo

That's not why im getting back with him, as i said at first it was bcz i was angry at my ex but i developed strong feelings for him. So i do luv this guy.

Hi Guyz,
I don't know where to start but let me just get straight to the point. I met this guy last year when I was in separation with the guy I dating for 2years then, talk about bad timing. So I told him that I'm in a long distance relationship(which I was), I never mention the break up because i still loved the guy(long dist bf) I was with then. So after 2months we together he became so jealous and start checking my every move including checking my fone. I got back with the guy(long dist bf) I was dating before I met him and if he sees a call or an sms from him(long dist bf), he would go crazy as if he didn't know about this other guy(long dist bf). I even had to lie to him and say I broke-up with the other guy(long distance bf). So this other night the guy(long dist bf) I was dating before him called me around 3am and kept calling about 4times. He went mad and left me after that. I told him how sorry I was for picking the call at that time. He was angry in a way that it was like I was cheating on him or something which I wasn't cause I told him that I had a boyfriend 1st time and he said he doesn't mind. Even though the reason why I dated him was because I was angry at the boyfriend(long dist bf) I was with at the time  but I developed strong feelings for him and fell deeply in-love with him.

So now its been more than 3months since this happened and I even broke-up(4 real dis time) with the guy he left me for(its strange cause the reason he left was that he believed that I will never break up with this other guy(long dist bf) cause 1. I was with him for long time, 2. I loved him(long dist bf) more than i love him). And to be honest I wasn't gonna break my 2year r/s bcz of a 4months r/s but things worked out on their own, I found out the bf(long dist bf) i didn't want to dump was busy cheating on me wit a bunch of ladies. So me and the guy in question, we were still in-contact as friends. 3weeks back we met and he told me that he still loves me and all this time has not been easy for him so we decided to try again but take things slowly. But now its like things are too slow and its driving me crazy. I hardly see him or sometimes he will not call for the whole 2 days. He told me that he is still trying to find a way to trust me again cause I lied to him, and he don't wanna get hurt again and I understand that. But now how do I make him trust me again?  I really want things to work this time.

I don't even know what to advise you without criticizing you which you will see as insults or abuse, let me not even start. And what you need is not an advise, you need a reality check. How can you even look at your sista's hubby that way to be even be inlove with him. That is disguisting, get your own man and also move out of sista's house or else she must kick u out. I know it takes two to tango but I'm blaming you more than I blame him. She is your sista for God'ssake, your own flesh an blood.

I don't have a problem, can't baby sit a man 24/7 and by being in a r/s doesn't mean u can't have opposite sex friends. He needs to know how to control himself and make sure that it doesn't go beyond what he claims to be friendship and also know that I'm allowed to do the same, i mean as in going out with my male friends.

bblacky:
yea i fink dis shud b blocked so anoda one titled: For boyfrendlesses cud emerge, lol

Gud idea. Make i start that 1.

Plz guyz dis thread shud b closed nw coz im stil boyfrndless.

meexteriox:
Thank God, you guys made up. I hope you learn from your mistakes and move on with your hearthrob.
My advice, watch your back all time - Eunice might be watching ya.

And Nkechi doesnt even need 2 go 2 cheaters, Eunice is got her gal's back all the time. Talk abt a frnd indeed,

storm0210:
story in summary
Boy cheats once,
Words goes round, girlfriend hears,
Boy attempts to cheat again, failed attempt
Words goes round again,
girlfriend hears but boy is upset becos ,
d mission ws impossible.

what should he do?

Damn u gud, nice summary. Lol!!!

me thinks da dude need 2 get laid, that's all!!!

She shud @ least share.
@Omoyahoo
Cn I @ least hv 1 of the financial bf's?

I envy her.

omoyahoo:
7 financial boyfriends

8 friends with benefits

-1 lover

brb with d list

Pple, hw r pple lk me go get 1 wn u get all of d guyz 2 urself?

gennielucy:
thanks all 4 the nasty comments,some people can really be so cruel.am new here so i jst posted that to see the reaction of people in this thread.thanks to the matured comments 4rm the few matured people

So it ws jus a test? Tot u needed advise & ws evn abt 2 give 1.    

tope5000:
Mehn there is so many girls involved in this story . . . no wonder ur gf thinks u r a cheat

Bt he is cheatn, or he ws, or he ws abt 2. Its all d same thng.

@poster
Leaving Nkechi alone wud b d best thing ul eva do 4 her. U knw y i say dt? cz u gona hurt her again. So let d gal hv a piece of mind & walk away nw. Sistawoman is ryt if d oda gal ddnt deny u were gona go home wit her. Y r u evn sayn ur gal thnks u r a cheat. She dsnt thnk, u r.

Lmao!!!(wondas shal neva end)

Lmao!!! Wht a quest, unfortunately jus dt i'm in between bf's ryt nw.

@IyaKadijat

I don't blame you, not even for a moment for being played. The guy is player, he played his game very well(they all does).
Let me take down to my story. I was also dating a yoruba guy. We were staying in different cities that made it a
long distance r/s. We used to see each other every month or two. I had a gut feeling telling me that he was doing
something but no proof. And I used to convince myself that maybe I was being paranoid coz he always wanted me to
come visit him and when I do I would stay with him for maybe 3-4 weeks when I'm on holiday at school. And I never
saw any girl in his house or any proof that there is a lady who maybe come & visit(not even a hair pin). The guy wasn't
even scared of being caught, he was taking me every where he was going to when I was with him.


To cut a long story short. We were very close even though we stayed far from each other and I was close to everybody
he was close to(like his siblings and friends) and obviously they knew what he was doing but decided to mind their own
businesses. He decided to relocate to my city to be close to me. It was suppose to be the best time of my life but instead
I started getting strange calls. Finally the person who was calling me decided to tell me that she has been dating also
after started by insulting or sometimes don't speak or sometimes just laugh on the phone. So I went through his phone &
guess what I found out. About 4 or 5 different ladies who sent him smses begging him not leave before he relocated.
So he also made them believe that they had a r/s with him. Now that left me with these quest(which I dnt evn wana knw d ansa),
why didn't they come visit him when I was @ his house or bump into one maybe in the street, mall or something(this is kinda big no
to hide from)? Why didn't anyone tell me something? Why did he kept paying for my fare to come to him when he had a lot to satisfy himself?
So he also played his game pretty well.

But you see I had a gut feeling which I should have listened to. Or I should have paged that phone of his long time ago(which
he was kinda protective ova it). You see that's why I say there are always "hints". Anyway its history now, move on, his loss.

@IyaKadijat

I'm glad you finally closing this chapter on your life, you have to for the your sake as well as your daughter's sake.
I've been following your story since, just didn't want to say anything cause I'm still hurting myself. I also broke up
with my bf a month ago, mine is better though(no kid an only 2 years of dating) but still a break up is a break up.

Do you want to know what keeps me going?
1. I cutted all the contacts with him(deleted him on my friends list on FB, YIM, GTalk,
    even blocked his number on my phone), offcoz to you its gonna be different
    coz you share a child together, but that's all it is now and get him used to it. Only talk
    to him when it concerns her only. Make boundaries. Be firm with the guy, you don't owe
    him shit.

2. I convinced myself that he never loved me(he used me 4 his selfish reasons and I don't care what he
    says now), cause if I believe that he did or he still does that will make me to keep thinking about him
    or maybe end up going back to him. So the sooner you can stop defending him the better,
    stop saying he is a good father coz good fathers don't treat their baby mama like the way he has
    treated you. He wouldn't have hurt you the way he did. Imagine if someone who claims to love you
    can do that to you what will your enemies do.

3. Every time he comes to my mind, I immediately think about our last argument when I was
   confronting him about a call I got from the girl he was cheating on me with and he was denying it
   and things got pretty bad.   

4. I try very hard not to think of the good time we had and focus rather on thinking about those fights and
    arguments we had just to make sure that instead of ending up missing him I end up being angry at him.
   
No need crying over a split milk, put your head up and keep on moving. You knew this shit was gonna happen.
And if you didn't know, then you are a _______ for not noticing. Believe me the are always hints, if you can look
back and recall each and everything that was happening in your relationship you will find them coz now your eyes
have been opened, you were blind then. Go out with friends, have lots fun. Don't let his being jealous deceive you again
into thinking he loves you coz he doesn't and he never did if he did he would have came clean with you from the beginning,
he even had the whole 8 years to come clean and he chose not to, he is done with you and also be done with him.
You can't erase the fact that you once loved him(probably still do), so don't even try.

Throw his ass away. The pictures(you can keep those for your daughter maybe) but believe me now you don't wana see them,
put them away. Messages. Val post cards. any reminder of him is the reminder of your love for him. Now, hate him.

So you see how we gonna be fine without them? Lol!! good luck!

@ Aloy

I get what u sayn bt i dont agree wit u. Lets say i dump my bf(which i did) ova something he did,
I didn't prepare myself 4 anything let alone breaking up or dumping him coz what he did came as shock 2,
after dumping him i go home cry myself out coz i felt the pain deep down. So what is the advantage i had?
Just 2 say "I dumped him"? that one wont make up 4 what i felt.

Come to think of it, it makes no different who does the dumping. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee it still goes down to a heart break. If you loved the other person and had to dump him because of circumstances, you will stil feel exactly the same way like the one who has been dumped.

surface:
sexxybabe,i beg for where u take sexy,becos i cant see ur pix on ur profile,i think sexy girls flaunt their beauty,sexy my foot

Dont tel u interested on how sexy i am. I dnt do ladies

surface:
na wa o,even ugly girls are saying theyhave never been dumped before,liers

were u dumped coz of  bein ugly?

@ poster

U prolly provoked her & deserved the slap.

na ur fault.
Her hand was blissfully swinging away, and your cheek had to step into its path.

Lmao!!! cnt evn help myself,  Lol!!!