₦airaland Forum

babygirlfl: Oga thank you very much. Please lets just answer the question and no preaching or telling women what to do.

OK Let me ask you Can you love your wife so much that you will die for her. Can you honour your wife?

I believe i answered your question, your thread isn't a yes/no question type hope you know that? I didnt tell women what to do, i only admonished women and men to be submissive and love/honour their husbands/wives respectively.

To your question, Yes i will honor my wife, why not? may no be as easy as it sounds, but i'll do my best.

bukatyne: Despite the balanced view of the OP, you could not resist reverting to your default settings
@ OP:
It takes God's grace and we keep growing daily
A better definition of love is 1st Cor 13: 4 - 8

There nothing like default settings here, was my own view not balanced as well?

babygirlfl: hahahaha you are so funny. The only thing that was added is the honour part. The thread had both duties asked of both men and women from the very beginning. I really do not intend getting in a fight. I just tried making it as balanced as possible.

Meanwhile this thread is about answering the question not attacking each other. I think nairalanders have done enough gender arguments to last a life time.

Ok, that's good enough. I also do not indulge in gender bashing, i simply handle individual issues as they come

That said, i strongly believe that any woman who truly values the essence of family life would submit to her husband. Submission should not be in isolation, it is expected that men should also treat their wives with love, and i strongly hold this view. Both should as a matter of fact respect the other, instead of one party acting and behaving as if he/she is doing the other a favour by getting married to him/her irrespective. Any marriage with such mindset is headed for the rocks.

My problem with some women however is that some misinterpret being submissive as being subjected to domestic violence and its a shame. Submission does not equate absorbing domestic torture and physical abuses. I say so cos its not difficult to see supposedly learned women quickly relating submission to domestic violence.

That you should be submissive to you partner does not mean you should endure all sorts of domestic abuses from your husband. I am personally against marital violence, better a woman walks out of marriage than continue to endure constant battery from a supposed husband.

'Some' women however need to get off their high horse, the fact that a lady has attained a certain level of financial/social status doesn't mean she should want to be the head and neck at the same times. That's what a lot of women are finding hard to contend with. We have exemplary woman in Nigeria today despite climbing up the ladder of success and national prominence still respect their husbands cos they value marriage, case study late Dora Akunyili, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Oby Ezekwesili etc to name a few.

In a nutshell, women submit to your husbands no matter how highly placed you are. Submission doesn't mean you will lose your respect. If anything, its a sign of respect, dignity and honour on your part, and you stand nothing to lose if you submit to man you claimed to love and married.

I don preash finish, 'tanku don menshun'!

ireneidiva: Give your opinion and stop insulting people for christ sake!!!! Jeez

where is the insult in the comment you quoted

babygirlfl: Oga, I tried to balance both sides up by including what the bible asks both husband and wife to do.
This thread is for each of us both male and female to look at what the Bible asks us to do and truthfully answer if we can.

My comment was in response to cococandy who felt your thread was one-sided when she said:

cococandy: OP you forgot to add honor. Apart from selfless love,husbands are also commanded to honor their wives
Let the double standards begin

And then you promptly updated and included the other part to create a balance:

babygirlfl: @ cococandy

its added now

So you see! i ain't blind neither am i confused, you should have simply told me you have updated your thread (for fairness), its not that difficult is it, instead of making it seem like I came here to take sides.

Now you just truly exhibit the double standard you were accused of, you updated your thread and alerted only cococandy (your fellow woman) instead of informing me also and the whole house. What do we call this? gender support or women solidarity?

This ojoro you are sharing,

remember...cha ...cha....cha....diarrris...........

**edited

cococandy: It's gonna be hot.

OP you forgot to add honor. Apart from selfless love,husbands are also commanded to honor their wives
As in placing them in exalted positions according to what 'honor' means.


Ehen. So I'm viewing the show from my recliner.
No time for hausa mat like alutacontinua

Let the double standards begin.

This thread is specifically for submission. Feel free to open a thread for the correspondence to 'women submit to your husbands' and we will tackle it accordingly, don't jump the gun

Op thank your for your sincerity and good conscience in opening this thread. Quite a handful of ladies will be disappointed in you for laying the facts bare. Nonetheless there is never a possibility of 2 becoming greater than 3, so say kudos to you for opening the thread.

Look at the poster above me already shouting double standard, she is one of the pro-feminists activists we have here, people that believe man and woman is equal ...smh. Do not be surprised that even with those verses you quoted to support your strong argument, some will still try to misinterpret and give a different meaning to submission to suit their over bloated egos and self worth.

cococandy: This is not nice
Her buttockks are showing.
Haba. No matter how we try to look at it,it's weird for a child to dress like that. Even the pose shows she's showing off her buttockks.
That's sick joor.

I won't even see it as odd if an adult wears it,because hey we understand she's advertising her sexuality.
What's the kid advertising?
Isn't a bit too early for her to understand sex appeal?

Every thing is wrong even if its an adult that wears it unless of course she is a tenant at a red light district. That being the case, market must sell, day or night.

That said, how would a mother with her full senses dress up her innocent daughter with her dirty black bum to near full display to the public? What sort of moral value is she trying to make the little girl imbibe?.

Anyways i shouldn't even be talking cos i don't even know if the mother is a cheerful giver in the field of generosity

ok! RIP young man

so does this stop the little man from being a nuisance to himself on social media? I'm actually shocked there's no mention of Jonathan in the so called news

they should simply walk the talk, no time

how i wish you were caught and shot, evil people like you don't want him to fortify himself against harm, that's why its an issue to you. iddiott

waste of time

Put your fears away, even for those who dated for years before they got married, marriage was always gonna be a leap into the dark, have an open mind about, ask God for divine guidance, then hope for the best

op you gave him a good answer, its not in your place to decide for him. The only wrong you did is ignoring his calls, pls talk to him but maintain your stands that it is his decision to make as he deems fit.

He can start with introduction and court wedding first

alutacontinua: Depression is a psychiatric disorder.
psychiatrists are trained to treat it.
he's having suicidal thoughts, bad sign!

How is the above atory even relevant?
what am I supposed to do for him? Start preaching to him? He can as well go to see a priest or something. He's heard more than enough messages on NL, he doesn't need an epistle, he needs a psychiatrist, SIMPLE!

They might even prescribe some anti-depressants for him

I didn't tell no story, you didn't sound sympathetic in your earlier comment, you dont have to preach to do that, anyway you were more explicit this time, its okay!

joomiegirl: Na 3 times you call me oo
AMEN... AMIN, l'oruko Jesu!
Many thanks sir.
Cheers.

And i say AMEN to that! u welcome.

Cheers too!

alutacontinua: Op, I believe there are psychiatrists around you that you can visit, there are medications for depression, you might be hospitalized if you are considered a threat to yourself.
NL is not a psychiatric hospital.

You are feeling cool as i you've said anything reasonable. Did the op tell you he is mentally unstable? All he came here for is words of encouragement and support to help him pull through his trying moments, all i see in your comment is psychiatry and hospital.

You don't talk as if you have the world at your beck and call or kike you are beyond experiencing a downturn in fortunes. Life is a b1tch, sometimes it fvcks us up big time to our disbelief or beyond imagination.

You ought to know better, a little show of empathy and compassion wouldn't hurt.

HFOG: I wud leave her to answer the last question. What role do u want me to play? For starters me think you sud remove the curse words in ur signature. That might be an instant turn off u know. :p

Alright then! i talked about role outta my imagination and based on your earlier question cos i noticed you guys chatted each other up, the reason i suspect you could be e-friends or real friends. lol

Erm... my siggy, let it be for now, i know it could draw a wrong perception of my person but I'm only expressing my displeasure over certain indiscretions from some person. Its only temporal, will consider changing it at the proper time, thanks

HFOG: Do u wish to be the man? Talk true o

Lmao...you just put me on the spot, didn't you? Sharp girl

Trust me! her type will be a heavenly-made gift to any man she marries, and so i answer your question in the affirmative. So what role are you gonna play?

Btw, you seem to know her personally right?

joomiegirl: Nwanem..leave me o ...you nor hear the technical gibberish? Don't even know whether its molecular genetics or plain obstetrics or whatsit...it all sounds almost esoteric!
Oya you sef, answer Lordreed's question; "pray tell what are the Wolffian ducts that are degenerating in the female fetus?"

JOOMIE! JOOMIE! JOOMIE!

How many times i call you? Wherever you are and whatever you do, may you remain blessed. Your last comment before this was a masterpiece, i had smiles of hope and fulfillment while reading it. God will give you a man that will cherish, respect and appreciate you. People like you end up being shinning examples.

Kudos to you and do keep it up.

Nuff said.

abolade62: You really need to get laid right now ma'am.

lwkmd

Ishilove: Lol. The image that just popped into my head!! By the time you walk 5 minutes to get to her room, the woody will be so turgid that you won't need your hands to open the door; the woody will. Wifey will raise her head from sleep to see it coming through the door before the rest of you appears.



*sigh* I have an overactive imagination

bwuahahaha..LWKMD!

Ishi, this hyper-overactive turgid imagination you're sharing...

cha...ca...cha....diarris.....

njokusboy: Oga, suicide is the easy way out... Only cowards take the easy way out..... I have been down and out so many damn time, enjoyed my meal so much because I wasn't sure when the next was gonna come.... Been fvcked up a lot, my bIItch told me niccur, "u aint got no money, I can't put up with you no more", I bid her farewell... Saw her the next day with my homeboy who owns a range, know what I did, I walked up to them and made him pay for my bottle of Mcdowells.... She was one less problem anyways..
I been bullied, kicked out... Left the house when I turned. 18, cos my pup said I wasn't good for sh1t... Like shakur, I knew I had only one life to live... Suicide never crossed my mind, one thing kept this ninja going, "I knew I wasn't where I was the previous day and definitely won't be where I am the next"....
A nigga gotta keep going, learning with every pitfall, discovering the pot holes of life so you can better avoid em... Keep building yourself, perfect that skill, know your Sh1T and dat plant would surely bear fruit... Forget that you were not made the councillor, its prolly cos you were meant to be the governor....
Don't kill your sef motherfvcker, the world won't weep cos you were to weak to catch dat shot... When life throws you boulders, gather it and build a fvcking bungalow...
NuFF said...

Well said bruv, well said! i gave you the only like so far, i wouldn't have said it better. Life isn't for the faint hearted, its full of ups and downs.


Many of us have died several times before, but we are still living, alive and kicking, such is the vicissitudes of life. My first debacle in life, i was barely 18 and so it happened, the first time i fell in love and consoled myself with the saying that 'every disappointment is a blessing' and during that period, it actually turned out to be.

In fact several times, my life was screwed, sometimes hopelessly and aimless, it was one failure after another disappointment, at this point i had no problem seeing the 16th president of America as my idol, he became my instant hero. Having come across his profile many years ago during my uni days, i didn't know my life would witness similar failures like his did, but when reality began to hit me hard, i began to appreciate the calibre, spirit, resilience and audacity of the man, Abraham Lincoln.

You look back at those moments of turmoil and travail, and you accept the fact that those moments of plight and despair made you a better and happier person today.

Op, do your bit, and leave the rest to God. May the Lord strengthen you!

suspects arrested, so do we start jubilating?

7,8 and 9 i can relate easily with, very true!

Sophyrocks: I understand you perfectly. Im only trying to explain my comment. You are right. Having common moral values is also important. Lifestyle of a partner also needs to be considered.

As for the bolded, many ladies are already doing it and some are on the verge of doing it. Thanks to desperation and society. Pressure and desperaton can make people have dead brains i guess.

You are right! in fact not only desperation and society, because that would sound like decision made as a result of external pressure(and to a large extent that's what it is) but another big reason is GREED.

Many young girls are so money conscious that when they see a seemingly 'loaded' guy they just jump into marriage without knowing jack about him, source of wealth etc, as long as he is loaded, that covers every other thing, even if he is twice their age or even if they will be 3rd wives, love doesn't count at all, to them money answereth all things ...lol.

So you can add as well that greed makes people have dead brain

Sophyrocks: Nobody is perfect including me. I know very well that we have choose our battles wisely.

My point is, happiness is most important to me in marriage. There is no need getting married when i know fully well i won't be happy in it. hence, the wrong person is completely out of the books. Being stuck to the wrong person is worse than Death. In death, you can rest, no problems no worries. But in being stuck to the wrong person, your problems never end. Psychiatric hospital is very close to you. Abeg o.

Only a dead brain would do that. Every point you made above, i concur with. You missed my point however.

I tried to highlight the point that imperfection doesn't mean a spouse is wrong, by imperfection i mean behaviour/attitude that can be overlooked or that one could cope with, things like flaws in dressing, poor social etiquette and other domestic behavioural lapses. Eg a socialite wife may marry a nerd who is averse to parties/live shows, the man may be the best father and husband but she could refer to him as a wrong man (jokingly or not) cos they are worlds apart far as their social lives are concerned.

Note by coping with imperfection, i do not in any way mean staying back in abusive/violent, unhappy marriages, NO! Hope you get my point now?

rozzay: . Haba! She has a point dere don't u know dat wen u r sleeping stretching ur hands nd touching bo obs or down dere facilitates d horniness but walking from one room to anoda. Urge go don disappear

May be you missed my next comment where i said separate rooms do not apply at night for the sole reason of taking konji-veitis. Personally i like to the grabbing a lot when sleeping. The feeling is always good

But talking about the konji disappearing by the time you get to her room,(assuming you went to bed in different rooms) na lie'o, unless i no just want shine wifey dat nite. I even have high libido so dat one no apply to me'o. I will surely sustain the libido even if i have to walk for 5mins to get to her room

Perfecter4real: but it isn't biblical o..

Being biblical or not is immaterial as far as i am concerned, pls don't go there with me, i must sleep with my wife before marriage. Its a GIVEN and not contestable, and whether or not she is a virgin will not matter to me.

For the records, I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY A VIRGIN.

'tanku don menshun'.

chibabe3: greeting according to seniority is simply our culture and part of what makes us thick as a people. My advice to her is to show more love and be patient with your husbands cousin.

You are right, all these greeting or not greeting gd morning, good afternoon will be inconsequential when you have a people who share common understanding living together.


Example i once lived with my married elder brother and his wife(she is is about 7yrs older than me), there's a pet name the family had for her which we we called her and she is used to, so in the mornings i kinda hail her with the pet name, we don greet be dat'o, we exchange pleasantries, joke, compliments etc and everyone is happy.

That you don't tell someone 'good morning' doesn't mean you don't respect the person.

snazzylove: Got married early enough but God did not bless him with a child early enough until recently.

Pls be sure of what you say. Obiano has an adult daughter who is married with a kid