₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Seyilome ]Sony my dream electronic products. They always standout.[/quote]yea I see, that why dey decide to relocate inside water,



where they belong.

blood in his eyes.....

baba is angry, I'll love to get the book

[quote author=mumumugu ]GEJ HATES JONA BECAUSE JONATHAN DID NOT ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE CONTROLLED BY HIM.[/quote]did u just talk about how ones body hate one soul

[quote author=haibe ]I don't get. Is having se.x against the school rules. I don't support fornication anyway but everyone to his or her life.[/quote]Seconded

oga o. awesome elaborate wedding, every girls dream wedding



God bless your union

am proud, atleast he's not a money spraying nigga like the poor kid

happy birthday sir

they are all well dressed, was tiwa sleeping or she forgot

here we go

BlackBerry z10

the best minimizing gadget ever, so cool, cute OS, which allow u to use android app, fast ram, enough rom, upgradable, and slim.


Primary 8 MP, 3264 x 2448 pixels, autofocus, LED flash,
check quality
Features Geo-tagging, face detection, HDR (via software
update)
Video 1080p@30fps, check quality
Secondary 2 MP, 720p@30fps





38k as at November

the purpose of the thread is to share our '000th post.

make someone special by dedicating your '000th post to him or her,

remember your thousandth post is a post you made and can't move. you can only modify

u follow the sequence of your post because once posted.....

forget it!!!...

am an example, I had 2, 850 and was watching after my post and before I knew it, am on the 3003 post!

I just wish I can pull back the hands of the time to 20min past.

It easy...
All u need is to follow your post sequence, when u hit 999, 1999, 2999, 3999, 4999, 5999, etc.

and dedicate the last 1 post to someone, probably your follower, followee(if there's a word like that), mention and wish them....

while I go first. congrats to my friend wale that just gained admission (even if it the 3004th)

Sunday School


Little April was not the best student in
Sunday school. Usually she slept through the
class. One day the teacher called on her
while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who
created the universe?” When April didn’t stir,
little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind
her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the
teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back
asleep. A while later the teacher asked April,
“Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April
didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again,
Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her
again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the
teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back
to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third
question. “What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?” And again,
Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time
April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK
THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME,
I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP
YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted!

Letter Bomb!

Two boko Haram boys, Habib & Akpo are
making letter bombs.

Habib: “I’m not sure whether I put enough
explosive in this envelope before I sealed it.”

Akpo: “Well, then open it and look.”

Habib: “But if I open it, it will explode!”

Akpos: “Don’t be stupid – it’s not addressed
to you!

Bad Mood

Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody. Soni
goes over and asks;

‘Akpos, wetin happen?’.
A very sad looking Akpos replied: ‘I borrow
Rukewe N2million to do facial surgery, and
now I no fit recognize am to collect my
money back.

Akpos Don Come Again O!

A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlord’s
son trying to commit suicide & a brief
conversation ensued:
Tenant: Akpos! Wetin you de do so?

Akpos: I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey
always complain say my life dey worthless!

Tenant: That one no good now… but why you
come tie de rope for your waist?

Akpos: Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie de
rope for neck, I NEARLY DIE!

Akpos no dey carry Last

Akpos :- Papa, See my result, Na me carry
3rd.

Papa Akpos :- Hahahaha, Akpos Akpos! Na
now I know say na me born you.

Akpos :- Shey I tell you na. All those time I
dey carry 35th..Na the teachers dey do ojoro,
They know say I too brilliant.

Papa Akpos :- I believe you my boy. Na now I
fit buy that Bicycle wey you see for Papa
Metus shop !

Akpos :- Papa na u biko. You get mouth pass
BasketMouth.

Papa Akpos :- but, Who be the two idiots wey
pass u sef Akpos?

Akpos :- Na one WIZARD wey be Isaac and
one WITCH wey be Patience.

Papa Akpos :- No mind them, You go show
them next term. But who you come pass na?
I no say dem plenty and you no fit mention
all of them, I just wan know how many of una
dey class.

Akpos :- Na just the three of us I don
mention so na… Isaac, Patience and Me. Na
just the three of us PRINCIPAL put for
Elementary Class ‘F’ !!!




Na im Akpos papa just land for floor,
gboossa, faint o!!!

See Life?

The Lawyer hopes you get into trouble

The Doctor hopes you fall ill

The police hopes you become a criminal The
Coffin Maker wants you dead!

Only the thief dey pray for you to make it in
life. Just Imagine!

Man: Baby, I love you, would you please
marry me?


Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap
on his face) I have waited more than 9yrs, I
have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought
books and listened to tapes, even went out of
my way to be nice to every male specie of
marriageable age!


I took up new hobbies, watching football and
play station. I went to Daystar. From Daystar,
I went to House on the Rock, from House on
the rock I went to Guiding Light Assembly,
Phronesis Christian Centre Int’l, MFM, Christ
Embassy, Redeemed, From there I went to
This Present Winners looking every where for
you. I went from a size 14 to a size 10, so
that when you see me you’d love what you
see.


I left Lagos, went to Abuja, from Abuja I went
to Port- Harcourt, then I went all the way to
Kano I joined hi-five, from hi-five to
faceboook, then I went to twitter, I even had a
blog on which I ranted, hoping yōϋ would
show up! for where?


I uploaded only my best pictures on
Facebook, in fact I took photo sessions to
look my best, all for you o! I attended all the
weddings, whether the invitation was direct or
indirect! The next place I was hoping to check
was the moon, before you crawled out,
crawled out from the house directly next to
mine!


So it was you all this while? The neighbour I
said hello to every morning?

Were you trying to destroy my faith?
You almost rendered my prayer life useless?
What were you waiting for?

What sign where you looking for?
Do you want to kill me before you reveal
yourself?!!!




Now be a gentleman, get down on your knees
and put that ring on my finger!!

HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love.
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes.
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.


WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye.







Another day
HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender
WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye






The next day, the husband decides to go
home without notice, and finds his son alone
and he asked him son where is your mother?







SON: I don’t know, she went out with the
blender.

The Class Test

Akpors the lecturer in Gwagalada, University
of Abuja decided to give his students a test.
He asked them to write the answers as he
read out the questions.
The Instructions says: Cancelled answers not
allowed.
Akpors the Lecturer: Question 1: What’s your
favorite food? [10 mrks]
Female students were writing, Pizza, fried
rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and
allsorts of Chinese cuisine…..
Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you
prepare the food? [50 marks]
Huh!! immediately, the female students
started cancelling and changing the foods to
beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and
porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no
soup, eba with no soup, gari n kulli
kulli…..heheh ehe Kasala bust !

Sometimes I think am dating MTN cos I go 2
bed with a
text and wake up with a text message as well..
Its either they are calling me or begging me 2
subscribe 2 one thing or another
VERY SOON MTN
WILL BE LIKE:
1: dear customer are u HUNGRY??...txt HGY to
35388 4 tips on HUNGER And what to EAT
2: dear customer need DELIVERANCE??....Text
DEL TO 35388 4 daily tips on how 2 deliver
urself
3: dear customer facing ancestral
problems??....t
ext ANCESTORS to 35354 and recieve daily
ancestral tips
4: dear customer wanna bath but u have no
soap??....text SOAP to 35629 to receive daily
soaps on your phone
5: dear customer wanna commit
SUICIDE??...text
SUI to 38777 and receive different suicide
techniques
6: dear customer wanna STEAL??...txt STE 2
45382 and receive expert stealing techniques
7: dear customer feeling
HEARTBROKEN??....TXT
HEART 2 38545 and receive tips on how to
plaster your heart....
8: dear customer wanna join BOKO HARAM??...
TXT. BOK 2
25301

after getting de flowered

it takes me another a year before that day to have sex again. ah hope u understood

[quote author=CuteEmma ]Still a virgin, dunno anything about this.[/quote]I see

and "K"

tell this poor op to get shaved

maybe the trousers she was given need yansh to sustain

they now kill one another, am not surprised

somebody tell the op to go with his fone whenever he's going to Sambisa

instead snap the pix using 1:1.

simple

[quote author=ionsman ]shay na every two months una go dey ask us who remembers this pix ni? [/quote]Lolz. no mind them

saved, so that wen mummy leave home I will watch them on YouTube