₦airaland Forum

Because [/b]should never be used to begin a sentence [b]Because [/b]the word [b]Because is connected to causality.

What do I win?

ayinba1:
Muscles tense, he grunts. Tears fill his eyes. Making no sound, he starts over. Taking deep breaths in and out, he pushes again bringing more tears to his eyes.
A knock on the door. “Oh gosh”, he swears. He knocked back on the door and whoever had knocked departed.
Sweating profusely, his muscles tense again. This time he pushes much harder. “Thunk” and a huge sigh of relief. He gets up and looks into the bowl. “Dang, I gotta eat my veggies” He pulls the handle down and watches in horror as the bowl filled over and spilled its contents.

First. . .Rotflmao.
Second. . NICE!!
Third. . .Ewww!



[quote author=~Pandora~ link=topic=124696.msg2406790#msg2406790 date=1214213640]She opened her eyes at 6am, the same time she always does. Her curtains were open, she liked to wake up with the sunshine on her face, not today though, it was raining outside. Pushing aside the covers, she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, stripping along the way. As she stood there under the hot shower, she felt her body slowly awaken. A few minutes later she was dressed and ready to go. Grabbing her thermos from the kitchen, she walked out of the door. Within the next hour, she would kill 3 men. . . . .[/quote]God! I loooooooooove it!
There's a softness or should I say gentleness to it, which makes it more chilling.



@ Crazylegs
Please I've got to know how you came up with Crazylegs. I tell ya, everytime I see your name. . .I can't help but chuckle. You don't even want to know what image pops in my head. . .

@Candy
May the Lord bless your might heart!!!

Thanks for the list.

oh my God! I remember those books. . .my favs in no particular order
Evbu My love,
Sisi
Too Cold for Comfort
Bloodbath at Lobster(sp) close.
Time Changes Yesterday

Gah! I'd so love to get my hands on those books again.

@ chukky76
Thank You.

wildbubble:
I'm beginning to hate this post, is there a way i can delete it. Okay. it's like i would start a new topic "what do you think about constructive and destructive criticism" maybe you guys can go there and argue all you like,

No, No Bubble please don't feel that way. Yeah, it started off on a rough patch but I think things are smooth now. Honestly, it is not that bad, I'll even go as far as saying it has been a learning experience of sorts.

[quote author=S E U N link=topic=143557.msg2401780#msg2401780 date=1214059429]Actually, the misconception seems to be the assumption - by some of you guys - that anyone is obliged or has a duty of sorts to help a writer improve. Nobody is thus obliged. The sooner this is understood, the better we avoid a repeat of this fiasco.

Anyone who is "helping someone to improve" is doing such person a favour and a duty should NOT be imposed on others who choose to leave their comments but have opted not to overtly help the writer to improve.[/quote]I concede.

Reading your post, two words jumped out and helped me put things in perspective. . .DUTY & FAVOUR. Honestly, I've not looked at this from a Duty vs. favour angle. I guess I just saw it as something one would do without much thought into it. . . not really classifying it.

Thank you.

There's nothing hard for a willing heart.

@ Tyna1
Thank for you calm words. I'm also having a hard time understanding why this became such a big deal ^{Lol. . .I know, I know. Yeah right, huh?}

Just to correct one tiny misconception. . .

If anyone in this forum can not stand a negative response the person should not post it here

It was never about not being able to stand negative response, it's about helping someone improve. Simple.

Oh well, like CH3COO said. . .C'est fini my sister, c'est fini. 

True Brit:
And it was Malcolm X who said "If you have no critics you'll likely have no success" and Aristotle who said "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing" and S. Clark who said "It is easy to flatter and massage peoples ego but takes guts to to stand up to them and criticise".

There are always quotes that can be found to support one point or the other no matter how absurd they may be (they are simply that, mere quotes by famous people and not binding forces of law).

I agree with the part in bold part, I don't have a problem with criticism, I welcome it and I'm sure Bubble also does or she wouldn't have put herself out here. I can't speak for others but what I see as the issue here is not that you didn't flatter her or massage her ego, it is about not giving the a chance to improve by telling her what you thought was wrong with it.

That's all it is.

Like I stated earlier, you two have a point. . .no one can be forced to do something they don't want to, I just didn't think helping someone out would be such a biggie.

Tetchiness:
Madam Sisikill. . .very nosy 

LMAO. . .I know, I can't help it. So is this another new name?

TOH:
sisiskill, yea it's me 

Lol. . .ah me too I want to join the club oh. What do I need. . .
Money? No problem. . .who needs money anyway.
Blood oath? I say bring me the razor blade. . . was never really fond of my pinky.
My first born child? Done. . .there will be more kids to come.

I believe it was Carnegie ^{(please feel free to correct me)} who said “If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it”

Yeah, this is not the Pulitzer Prize Review Board but it doesn’t mean we can use this forum to help one another. By opening this thread, she opened herself for both positive and negative comments and no one is saying don’t say negative things because it would be counterproductive to growth. What is being said is. . . give her ideas on how she can improve, I honestly don’t understand why this such a big deal? It’s not like those who said they liked it didn’t give their reasons for doing so. . . albeit in the most simplistic way, which is really all that is required. I mean what would it take to write “I didn’t like it because it was too long” or “I don’t like it because it made no sense”. . .anything that might bring a change for the better.



@ Bubble
I love your attitude and the way you’ve handled this whole thing…it shows a certain maturity that some of us lack. Keep doing what you are doing and remember we are all work in progress.

CH3COO & True Brit
You both have a point, no one should be forced to do anything they don't want to do.

Wole Soyinka's Telephone Conversation.

The price seemed reasonable, location
Indifferent. The landlady swore she lived
Off premises. Nothing remained
But self-confession. "Madam," I warned,
"I hate a wasted journey--I am African."
Silence. Silenced transmission of
Pressurized good-breeding. Voice, when it came,
Lipstick coated, long gold-rolled
Cigarette-holder pipped. Caught I was foully.
"HOW DARK?" . . . I had not misheard . . . "ARE YOU LIGHT
OR VERY DARK?" Button B, Button A.* Stench
Of rancid breath of public hide-and-speak.
Red booth. Red pillar box. Red double-tiered
Omnibus squelching tar. It was real! Shamed
By ill-mannered silence, surrender
Pushed dumbfounded to beg simplification.
Considerate she was, varying the emphasis--
"ARE YOU DARK? OR VERY LIGHT?" Revelation came.
"You mean--like plain or milk chocolate?"
Her assent was clinical, crushing in its light
Impersonality. Rapidly, wave-length adjusted,
I chose. "West African sepia"--and as afterthought,
"Down in my passport." Silence for spectroscopic
Flight of fancy, till truthfulness clanged her accent
Hard on the mouthpiece. "WHAT'S THAT?" conceding
"DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS." "Like brunette."
"THAT'S DARK, ISN'T IT?" "Not altogether.
Facially, I am brunette, but, madam, you should see
The rest of me. Palm of my hand, soles of my feet
Are a peroxide blond. Friction, caused--
Foolishly, madam--by sitting down, has turned
My bottom raven black--One moment, madam!"--sensing
Her receiver rearing on the thunderclap
About my ears--"Madam," I pleaded, "wouldn't you rather
See for yourself?"


Love, Love, Love it.

Come now, Mr. CH3COO. . .you could have been more diplomatic and precise in your critique.

What do you think she could have done right,
What do you think she did wrong?

Just whack does not really cut it. We are here to encourage not put one another down.

[B]Ojukwu-rs, Ariblaze, Ayimba1, StephenP[/b]
Thanks guys for steering us back on course.


[B]4Her & H. R Hotness[/b]
Appreciate your efforts at peacekeeping yesterday. Hopefully, things will be smooth sailing from here on.


I have what might be a "duh" question and please feel free to say "duh" if it is, okay. Is 4Her also Morenike09 and I believe I read it somewhere that TOH is D-Reloaded, right? Sorry. . .just being nosy.

(((CLAPPING)))))

Bubble this is OUTSTANDING!

The rhythm is so brilliantly done, you don't miss a step.

Nice work.

PS
Don't[b] EVER [/b]apologise for your work, okay? Anyone who has a problem with it can go take a long walk off a short pier.

4Her:
Sisikill / Davidylan. . .enough is enough!!!!

Seriously. . .I call for this thread to be locked!!!

Who's the moderator

LMAO. . .I hereby appoint you!!! I swear I can see you with a Koboko right now. Using my imagination again. . .impressed?



[quote author=HR.hotness link=topic=124696.msg2390890#msg2390890 date=1213824302]@ 4Her

who'd have thot the literature section would need a moderator? [/quote]Helloooo! Literature. . .writers. . .we ARE passionate people. Of course we need a referee. . .err. . .Moderator. LOL

[quote author=HR.hotness link=topic=124696.msg2390835#msg2390835 date=1213823465]Sisikill please let it go. . . how long do u want this to go on?

Thsi is the literature section, not romance. . . why must this thread be reduced to this! [/quote]I'm done! I'm done. It was amusing in the beginning but it's become stale.

I apologise.

I had the intention of posting a drabble or two before but quickly realised this was more of a show-offy thread.

ROTFLMAO. . .okay, there is NO WAY you didn't stomp your feet and stick out your tongue for this one.

My 5 yrs old nephew has a different rendition to the above, it goes like this. . .

I was gonna show you my toy but not anymore. I'm going hooooome.

But I like my 3yrs old niece's much better. . .

*snivel, Snivel*
I am not your friend anymoooooooooore.

4Him, you would give those two a run for their money, whining-wise. You know what, Scratch that, YOU win hands down! LMAO.

Rotflmao. . .4Him calling others overgrown children? Oh the Irony.

Does he ever wonder why every time he is on a thread there's disharmony? You know what. . .I think he does but he probably thinks it's because he's too intelligent for us mere mortals. The arrogance on this kid. . .I tell ya, I could bottle and make money off it.

This child comes here, makes no effort to contribute. . .He’s probably convinced himself that he is sparing us the fainting spells that occurs when confronted with his brilliance.

Summarily dismisses other people’s work by whining about getting bored like he employed anyone here to keep him entertained

Then whines some more about being uncomfortable with the content. . . I would so love to know who is holding a gun to his head forcing him to keep clicking on the thread.

He does all of these in the rudest way. . .not that I expected anything remotely politely from him. That would require he had some measure of manners, wouldn’t it? Something he’s so obviously lacking.

Instead of shutting up or putting up like someone suggests, he parks his behind here acting all high and mighty. . .the lone ranger, fighting showffiness. LOL

I say someone should be horsewhipped for helping him hold on to his delusions of grandeur for this long.

I guess it’s true what they say. . .Those who can do and those who can’t make a lot of noise.

By the way. . .Showoffy? Lmoa! Did you stomp your feet and stick out your tongue too? Good God! What a child.

4Her:
hahaha. . .Did the baby die? I would not know
Thanks sha

LOL. Well I have convinced myself the baby lived. . .especially with his chest moving at the end there. Oh yeah, he lives. Why do a picture a cute chubby baby boy? Strange.

stillwater:
My breakfast has been ruined.

I'm so sorry. . .I really am.
Whine for breakfast is an aquired taste.

stillwater:
Ah ah what's going on here?

LOL. . .oh nothin' much. Just whining with a side of whine.

Makes for a hearty breakfast, no?

4 Him:
You're really not as relevant as you want to make yourself. I don't remember refering to your drabble.
Why do you feel the need to act the thread captain? Is it your private business?
No one else complained . . . why do you feel the need to?

Get off your high horse please.

Hmmm…relevance. That’s what this is really about isn’t it? You desire to remain relevant. It does explain why you feel you can say anything to anyone and then expect them to sit back and take it.

Why do I need to act as thread captain. . .asks the one who is here whining that the content is too sexually oriented. Last I checked there was no rule that only Mickey Mouse playhouse drabbles should be posted.

I’ll get off my high horse when you do yours

4 Him:
drop the self-serving hypocritical use of "we". This is not about YOU . . .
Never complained that i was bored . . . i've been coming here to read the drabbles since page 2 and i have thoroughly enjoyed it. I was a bit uncomfortable that everyone seemed to be writing more on a sexual theme. Why does that get u in a bother? I don't remember referencing your drabble.

Aaah so YOU were a bit uncomfortable eh? Awww, look at that. . . 4him is uncomfortable with the content of this thread and instead of staying away from something that causes him discomfort. . .like any normal human being would, he decides to call people to task. Lol. . .if that isn’t self-serving, I don’t know what is.

I think I can safely saw WE seeing as out of over 20 writers, you are the only one who has whined about the content. . .because he is uncomfortable with it.

4 Him:
Again drop the use of the silly "we" . . . there's plenty of people here, only you feel the need to whine endlessly over a simple comment.

Whine, whine, whine. . .Jeez! Would you like some cheese with that?

4 Him:
If i were bored i wont be here in the first place. Seems you believe your own hype a little too much.

Believing ones hype. . .oy! Hellooooo Mr. Kettle


Am I surprised you missed my point? Absolutely not. So I'll break it down for you crayola style. . .until you contribute something worthwhile (not that being amused at your whining isn't worthwhile. . .but that's another story) it is rude of you to come here and dismiss other people's work just because you are uncomfortable. There!

Now be a dear and run along, adults WITH manners are talking here.

[B]For Funsies[/b]

"A little to the left" he says softly

I obey.

"That's good"

I beam.

In and out.

The rhythm plays along with my heart beat.

Twist, Twist, Twist.

"Hold still"

I obey

"Excellent"

I duck my head and smile.

"You ready for this?"

I nod.

My hand shook as his powerful tool hit the spot.

I am overcome with vibrations.

"You want me to stop?"

I shake my head.

"We're almost there"

I look up at his sweat soaked face.

In and out. In and out.

One last hit and it's over

"There" he says

"So beautiful."

He smiles "not bad for your first time"

He pauses

"Of course, I am good at what I do" he jokes as he puts away his drill, hammer, screw driver and nails.

"That you are. . ." I reply stroking the roof of doll house we have just set up. A birthday present for our 10 years old daughter

Very emotional and beautiful poem.

As for the name. . .I go for Still Here

He's gone but still here.

4Her:
Anywaz, back to topic. . .


Well, I tried on this one sha. . .

I could not control the fear running down my back like a slithering snake. Oh what did I do? What did I do? Same ol’ trouble wandered back and fro in my troubled mind. It stopped at the conscious gate and began to pound mercilessly on its metal door. Will I go to jail now or will the judges pardon me in excuse of my youthfulness.

It was an accident, I’m sure the nice lady judge will realize that. On the other hand, Should I run away like a fugitive from my prosecution? Then I can’t, mama will miss me too much if I dare to disappear for a second.

I knew I shouldn’t have given the baby too much food, now I think it’s dead. It’s not crying and screaming as usual. And why is her chest moving like that?
What do I do? What do I do?

Goodness. . .I hope the baby didn't die.

4Her:
“Don’t touch me, boy, I’m not into brokeass niggas” Debbie let out, annoyed with the figure’s unwanted harassment.

“Now, baby girl, what makes you think that?” the nameless figure innocently approached her.

“Maybe, maybe because you look like you just walked out of Cheap N Stingy Mart” .

The stranger hooted out a laugh. Smiling deviously, he reached into his tight over worn jeans and pulled out a $500 bill, a bait for the annoyed treat he intended on taking for a ride. . .a very long ride.

Seeing ol’ McKinley, Debbie reached for the green. With another intention on his mind, the figure pulled Debbie inside his car, locked his door, and drove off.
Debbie was never seen again, now her face is pasted on the “Missing People” poster on almost every brick wall in Manhattan.


Women, be careful. . .things are not the way they use to be!

Am I a terrible person for not feeling sorry for the little gold digger? LOL

Very well done! Both stories hit a different chord from the usual because these events can and do happen in reality.

4 Him:
yeah maybe.

What else do you want to nag about?

LMAO. . .the better question is what else do YOU want to nag about? This thread is 5 pages long and until YOU came along to complain about how we bore YOU, we all seemed to be getting on just fine. So what else? The spacing of the sentences, makes it to hard to read or maybe it's the number of words in a sentence, makes it to long to read. Please oh please, won't you tell us what we can do to make YOU less bored?

By the way, you do know what they say about a man who let's himself to be bored. . .right? Just sayin'

Toodles.