₦airaland Forum

he is already in a relationship

[quote author=*Toyinrayo link=topic=259321.msg3745974#msg3745974 date=1240021707]LOL, are you Nigerian?

I think there's now a law against throwing Naira at people or pressing Nairas on people's head during a party. I think [/quote] really?

i dnt think ghana pple does that either

tope2000:
So some guys are less of a MAN just because they dont have a male child??

in Africa at least, that is sometimes the general belief at least i know some women who have gone through hell all because they don't have any male child and their husbands ridiculed. however, in the western world there is little to no difference between the two. also in china they value male child more, so i think it kinda depends on the culture

i learned this method though mines are still younger, but one of my ladies actually uses this method and it works for her, though hers are little over 4/5

** Tattling: [/b]If one of my children tattles on another they have to say something nice about the person they are tattling on. (Of course this does not include seriousness, like someone really being hurt or a very big no-no, just typical whining/tattling.)

** [b]Interrupting: If a child interrupts adults, or even their siblings, they have a 3-5 minute time out with their hands over their mouth. This works great with a large number of kids! The younger's really learn something from the oldest, the oldest tired of being teased by the younger ones will usually not interrupt again. I believe this is a Quinault discipline. I love it!

**Stealing: [/b]If a child takes something away from another they have to not only return the item, but give the person something of equal or greater value in apology. Usually one of their own favorite toys, or spend their allowance in gift. I haven't had a stealing problem. This works well with sharing too, meaning specifically if a child brings over their own toy and one of my kids swipes it to play, they have to give it back and give the child one of their favorite toys to play with. This is only in a situation where cooperation is a problem.  A child should not be forced to share a very special toy, blanket, etc.

**[b]Lying: Much like stealing, a child who lies to me or to another has to make repairaitions. They have to apologize profusely because lying is stealing another person's right to the truth.

**Back Talk: Time out is based on age of child. Typically if I am getting slack it's because said child does not what to do what is requested of them. In all fairness I explain WHY I asked them to do something and then ask for cooperation following their time out and their apology.

**Basic Disobedience: Their favorite items get a time out. I take items away until we have cooperation. If they refuse to clean up after themselves we'll trash or take away their items. They then can earn it back after time and willingness to clean up after themselves.

**three spanakable offenses:

1) You do not destroy or abuse books. Writing in, mistreating, ripping, or destroying books.

2) You do not abuse the house or items in it. Writing on walls/furniture. Purposely destroying the home or things in it. Breaking expensive toys just because they are there. Destroying clothes by writing on them, ripping them, pulling them apart. Scissors to sheets or clothes. etc.

3) Putting yourself or your siblings in danger, or purposely hurting a person or animal. Now this is a moment-to-moment basis-to-basis discipline that needs to be addressed as they happen. The last child who received a spanking was hid son, who asked to go out front to ride his bike. she and her hubby couldn't watch him at the moment so they told him to wait. He then went to the side gate, opened it, went out anyway without telling them, and let his two year old sister out front. He not only put himself in danger but her too. We figured it out about 3 mintues after it happened, and found the 2yo at the front door. Needless to say not only was he disobedient, but he put his sister in danger. He got a spanking.

@ netsose

i said the punishment/reward chart should be because it motivates little kids and keep a child motivated over a long period of time. since the child in question is not older than 3yrs old. it is just something for positive reinforcement of a particular behavior. the reward shouldn't be a monetary/ and not necessarily edible rewards. it should be subtle rewards. while not everyone might/will agree with this methods i have used/been using it and it still works for my little ones. so it all depends.

@ Ebony

the timeout is kind of something that helps the kid learn what is an acceptable/unacceptable behavior. they will learn self control. but the key to successful timeout is consistence. i still use this method and it works. and this works well for little kids

these methods are not perfect and i dont think any parenting method is for that matter cause every child/case is different however, for me these seem to help

*trying taking his/her toys away for two or so days

*spanking, however make sure he/she understands that he is being spanked for that particular action. they are still young to fully understand that something is right or wrong but associating wrongness with pain, makes them understand that this isnt right

*try the straight talk express. look straight into his/her eyes,  that tell it like it is, this kind of put fear into them knowing that what they did is wrong. make sure you make eye contact with them this kind of shows them you are serious,

*try timeout and make sure during the process no toys to play with in there, just him/her alone and do tell him/her why they are in there

*try behavior chart with reward/punishment, maybe you tell him/her if you do this and not and you will get this/that on your chart (cool glitter, markers, stickers could work)

no breaking news to report on this issue

if i earn more than my hubby, i would still make him be in charge, still respect him. oftentimes, most women who earn more than their hubby take it as a means of controlling, and being disrespectful to their hubby and it sometimes have a serious bad effect on the relationship etc. so whether i earn more or not, i would still respect him and still allow him to be in control NOTE: (not that kind of bad control)

as for the tv thing, if the child is under the age of 16, i wouldn't allow it but above that i would give it a consideration however, with limitations and supervision. i had tv in my room when i was that age and it didn't in any way affect my studies. so it sometimes depends on the type of children others still do good academically or otherwise with/out it while others sucks with it.

@ Ebony on the elevator thing

that would be my biggest mistake to allow him/her to take it alone. i would never, too scary

brein:
Oh! U definitely are from D Western 9ja. No doubt. Research confirms it to be true.

stop confusing me with another person! western 9ja ke? i am not from there

keeping trying bro!