₦airaland Forum

lmao

Winning today will make it our 400th win in the premiership. Cmon you reds we can do it #YWNWA

GEN. ADAKOLE:
Hmm, yesternyt i waz rly pertubed nd disappointed @ the way an NA lieutenant nd his wife (or is it better i call her a slut?) talked 2 an old man in whos sompound they parked their car. Guez w@? The septuagenarian only complained of wrong parking oo. If u sse as the slut and the Lt dey shout 4 the man ehn? U'll be even more vexed than i was. He evn ordered that the old man be arrested by NA Int on duty @ our barrackz gate. But fenk God, the int guyz knw the old man as a retired 63 NA RSM. they told the Lt this man may take the case farther than he (the Lt) finkz nd suggested the leaves the old man alone. I doubt if that big-headed officer learnt his discipline @ the NDA. I wonder why sum pple are just bent opn tarnishing the image of this noble profession. Pls, NLerz, let'z be good officerz if eventually we mk it into the force. Goodluck 2 we all as we await our list, amen.

This is nothing, at least it happened in a private quarter. I was in a coaster coming from the island to orile, if you are familar with the road construction at orile you will know that the road for the BRT buses has been completed and you can't make a u-turn, our coaster was on this lane but when we got to the middle, a sub-lt in a mini jeep was on the same lane driving towards us. What you should understand is that he was on one way. He ordered our driver to reverse forgetting that cars were behind us, our driver did the senible thing and switched off the engine of his car and walked off, the sub-lt eye balled us the passengers for 15mins before he reversed, but not before he had threaten everyone with "do you know who I am" and I will deal with you personally.

Just when I thought your works can't get any funnier +i read the call representative story+ you hit me with this. Good work, more ink to your pen boss!!!!

To all y'all GEJ ass kissers, take a breather of 5mins and reason. The OP is trying to show that a project that is supposed to kick off in the first quarter of 2013 has not started so instead of praising GEJ you should be asking questions.

Its sad we live in a country where the mighty prey on the weak, rich suffocates the poor etc. How can #18000 minimum wage take care of one's personally expenses in a country of ever increasing standard and cost of living. Ride on NLC and TUC

ehixking: I just received a call from Mr christopher epkeyoung (hope I got d spelling) who has a master degree in Educational Management and also his first degree from university of Ibadan(special Education)
He graduated " 5years" ago and has dabble into various businesses....he worked as a primary school teacher in those "Mumu" private primary school(15k per month),taught student lesson in his room, once had a poultry,he tried making pure water,
But his business collapsed and had a great fall like humty dumpty
Why.....No enabling environment
1)He rented a land
2)He has no stable means of power and spends a lot on fuel
3)Roads network to transport his good are bad
4)Government policies ain't working for him
5) Police would extort money from him
When he tried cassava farming was worse than anyone could ever imagine cos he couldn't even feed himself while waiting for his farm to mature

This association is his only option
Now I think this is an eye opener for those that keep talking about entrepreneurship
Even in elementary economics,to start up anything we must first put in place
1)Land
2)Capital
3)Labour

Before even talking about entrepreneurship
Do u know what's called risk and uncertainty in business...so if he looses in d long run who bears the risk

Gbam! That is why I will contine to insult those fools that type we should not form this association but should try and start up our own business, how can any business strive in a country where you are a local government on your own I mean you provide "electricity", "water", "security", for yourself Government does nothing for you. People will be quick to mention Dangote that he made it why can't I, and my reply is Dangote had a working loan of 500000 from his uncle in the 80's when the Naira was competing favourably with the Dollar plus the Economy was not messed up as it is now

Its a shame we are in a country where graduates are treated like scum, I received the test invitation but when I goggled the company and didn't find any thing of worth and I decided not to step out of my house even though am in Lagos. Like some one said earlier those that have wasted their transport to unilag should chill back and attend burna boy's show.
There is a lesson to be learnt here, goggle is your friend use it when ever you are in doubt once bitten......

Just when I thought I had heard all the crappy names Nollywood has to offer they come up with this.... The producer should be flogged

Lol

Harbioollah: I laugh at the poster above me. The Unilorin i chose, had 242 and 78% in the post-utme and was denied admission while those with less were admitted for the same course.
Unilorin is the last school i'll recommend for a person without connections, except you are from Kwara state.

Unaab is the best for you. We've got a very transparent admission process

All I can tell you is that I graduated from that institution, am not from kwara state and I got my addmission without any runs. I daresay if your grades are okay and you do well in their post jamb you will be given addmission

wasak: was enjoying ds until it got to Homophobia... aw on earth does Homophobia fall in the Same category with murder,suicide,mortality rate e.t.c...if civilization means acceptance of societal decay... then I pray Nigeria never gets civilized...

I understand your sentiments but you should understand, the purpose of this list was to show a "first" in a country's behaviour and you have admit gays have no joy in Nigeria

Brother take heart some Universities do not admit second choice candidates because they see it as an "insult" to their personality, I faced the same ordeal with Benue state university. My advice is pursue your first choice or better yet when next you are applying make sure its to the BEST UNIVERSITY in Nigeria, UNILORIN

6 Murder Rate
World Leader: Honduras, Nowhere in the world are you more likely to be killed than Honduras, which averages one murder every 75 minutes. Mexico’s bloody gang warfare may grab international headlines, but Honduras’s murder rate is four times higher.It’s the perfect storm of gang domination and police collusion. Of a population of about 8.2 million, there are 65,000 gang members. Just two percent of criminal cases result in convictions. Thousands of gang members have been deported to Honduras from Los Angeles, and gangs have infiltrated the police force and legal system. The government struggles to provide basic services, let alone deal with corruption on such a massive scale. Ninety percent of all cocaine flights bound for the US travel through Honduras. There does not seem to be much light at the end of the tunnel either. The mayor of Tegucigalpa, Ricardo Alvarez, literally made “free funerals for everyone” part of his platform— and won


.5 Devalued Currency
World Leader: Zimbabwe, Most people are familiar with the concept of inflation, in which there is a slow, steady rise in the general level of prices. The term “hyperinflation” is used to describe an episode where a country experiences a monthly inflation rate greater than 50 percent for a sustained period. Since 1950, 18 countries have undergone periods of hyperinflation, none as severe as terrifying recent events in Zimbabwe. The African nation can now claim the dubious honor of having the most devalued currency in the history of the world. What does this mean, exactly? Well, in the perfect 50 percent monthly inflation scenario described above, an item purchased for $1 on the first day of one year would cost $130 on the first day of the next. Zimbabwe’s peak month of inflation, November 2008, was estimated at 6.5 sextillion percent. That’s not a number we made up—in case you don’t know off the top of your head it’s a one followed by 21 zeroes.When a country finds itself printing hundred-trillion dollar bills—as in one single note with a face value of $100 trillion—things simply cannot continue. Late in 2008, it was reported that one American dollar was worth 642,371,437,695,221,000 Zimbabwean dollars. And if you think having a wallet full of hundred-trillion dollar bills sounds awesome, remember a single egg costs $35 billion. The Zimbabwe dollar was wisely abandoned in 2009, one of the only instances of complete abandonment of any nation’s currency. They didn’t bother trying to replace it. All business in Zimbabwe is now conducted using foreign money

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4 Suicide
World Leader: South Korea, You may remember that South Korea appeared on the list linked in the introduction—they easily lead the globe in Internet speed. They also lead the industrialized world in suicides, and there actually does appear to be a connection between the two stats.In the early 1990s, before the advent of the Internet, and before the rapid modernization of South Korea, the country’s suicide rates were among the lowest in the world—about eight per 100,000. Since the “wiring” of the country, suicide rates have skyrocketed to over three times that number. Anywhere between 35 and 40 South Koreans kill themselves every day. The incredible speed with which the country has modernized (South Korea is now the world’s 12th-largest economy) combined with societal stigma and lack of understanding toward depression and mental illness seem to be heavily contributing factors—not to mention the high cultural significance placed on academic achievement and career prosperity. South Korea is also one of few modern societies to experience rashes of “sympathy suicides,” sometimes numbering in the hundreds or even thousands, when a public figure takes their own life.


3 Infant Mortality In Developed World
World Leader: United States, It might seem surprising, but the US has by far the worst first-day infant mortality rate in the developed world. Every year in the US, about 11,000 babies die on the first day of their lives. The number is 50 percent more than all other developed countries combined, and while one doesn’t typically think of the States as a dangerous, unsafe place to give birth, there are some pretty common-sense factors that come into play.For one thing, the US also has easily the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the world, and half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. Teen mothers are less likely to receive proper prenatal care, resulting in more premature, low birth weight pregnancies. And while neonatal (premature infant) care has come a long way in recent decades, the US preterm birth rate is one in eight, second in the industrialized world

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2- Political Corruption
World Leader: Somalia, According to global anti-corruption think tank Transparency International, the world is an extremely corrupt place. On a 10-point index, 132 out of 180 countries were found to have a score of less than five. Of those, 56 were rated at less than three. And then there are the nations of Myanmar (formerly Burma) and Somalia, locked in a race to the bottom. The two tied several years in a row at an abysmal 1.4 until Somalia pulled ahead in 2010 with a 1.1 rating.Many people immediately think “piracy” when hearing of Somalia, and of course it’s a huge factor. Without a government for the better part of a dozen years, the current UN-installed regime has struggled to assert any real control since its 2004 formation. Without little real authority (but a healthily raging network of warlords and pirates), Somalia may very well be the first country to bottom out at a perfect zero on the Transparency International index one of these years. Meanwhile, Myanmar is a divided country of business and military elite on one side, and a desperately impoverished populace on the other

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1-Homophobia
World Leader: Nigeria, Unfortunately, there are still very few places in the world where it’s not pretty difficult to be gay. We’re just now at a point where most civilized nations are statistically barely more accepting of homosexuality than not. There may not be any great, friendly places to be gay, but there’s one place above all others to not be gay—Nigeria. There, fewer than one percent of the population finds homosexuality acceptable. In 2013, their government passed the harshest anti-gay law in world history, providing for up to 14 years in prison for simply displaying affection toward someone of the same sex. This was followed by another, separate bill, outlawing gay marriage. Apparently in Nigeria, rampant corruption, terrorism, and religious violence can be tolerated, so long as one isn’t forced to look upon two people of the same sex smooching.

SOURCE LIST VERSE

Pple pls keep the funi pixs coming

[quote author=etin06][/quote]The US open, the French open, Wimbledon and the Australian open are the four events that make up the Grand Slam in tennis. The four events take place at different times during the year. In order to win the Grand Slam, you will need to win all this four events in the same year.

Donalð Genes: all the questions and answers were sent to lagos the following day for computer marking, so lets say by oct, they will start calling for interview

how many of you still remember this tricky question that was asked" how many tennis tournament make up the grand slam?
A.2
B.3
C.4
D.5

Brov am curious how that computer works, as to your question I think 4 is the answer

clemzo101: Those dt want to wait till january can wait but my list comes out 2moro wed 4th Sept.

Una no dey tire for this tomorrow shit!!!!

sammsimm: it's very possible maybe u didnt read the instruction very well. u were told to click 2 true options from each questn.

Am sure that's the reason he got zero. Always read instructions before you attempt questions

arantess: guys relax, the list comes out tomorrow...confirmed

Why am I not surprised

Yinkaolu: Grand slam! Pacific! China borders! Copenhagen! School of fishes! Statue of Liberty!

Sincerely, anyone that passes this test should be given kudos if WAEC is truly fair! They drilled these ones well enough for prospective CEOs! Can never exhaust and underrate the findings of Aptitude testers and interviewers!

No kidding I failed the first three of those questions you listed though the vebal, comprehension and mathematical part showed me enough joy. If this was saner climes and credibility was a watch word, I might be picked but I have hope sha

Jina24: Still waiting.

Are you in the hall

Gboliwe: none comes to mind now but you know how Accounting questions are set. Like do you Dr or Cr this, do you journalise that, what percentage is an investor's equity capital from a set of figures, what is the recurrent expenditure from a set of figures? Those are the kind of questions. If you have a grasp of Acc 101, you'll sail through.

Aiit thanks for your time

Live and direct at GSS Kwali, WAEC officials where una dey

Gboliwe: the exam was like I had its expo before getting into the hall.
I love the verbal reasoning most and the job function questions. They were muaaaah!

the one I wasted small time on was the numerical reasoning. Those guys are bad o! No calculator. How did they think i'll know 9 times 7 without using my fingers and toes

anyway, I also like the essay but its been long I wrote essay so I dont even know if I followed the rules of essay writing.
All in all, it was a sweet test. I have now changed my name to Patience and i'm patiently waiting

Please gimme an example of a job function question

Thomby2k12: Please is there any need to got to the test centre with our credentials?

Guy no need for that, its an aptitude test not an interview

motcom: Got same msg but not in Lagos,i want to no if is possible for me to reshudule d test

How long before you were schduled for the test

adetowubo001: I love that ur signature text: " Wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad"

I remain loyal boss

adetowubo001: Why have you guys become suddenly gullible? This guy (Mallamsk) is nothing but an impostor. Too many inconsistencies in his post!

Boss your head is there, people really are gullible, what has mallamsk said that we didn't know, anybody that did interview and then training and doesn't get APL should know the witches in his village strong die

ekiyor3: pls Sir abeg it to me too. Thanks ekiyorokiyefa@gmail.com

Oga sir u don enta lag

3.55:
I have fulfilled my promise. Anybody that request for it now will have to ask from others that have received theirs. Thank you

Pls send it to talk2sleeky@yahoo.com