₦airaland Forum

children of Adam alayhi salam. Always easy for them to take a hardline position whenever they are not directly affected by the matter. Reminds of the anti gay US congressman who later discovered his own son was gay, he did a prompt about turn. Things are not always so simple, and believe me the convert experience is as lonely as can be, u can search the internet for evidence. Islam is a lifelong journey and the less traumatic the entry into it, the better. Many converts lives spiral out of control when the initial novelty of conversion wears out. The issue at hand is extremely delicate and should be left in the hands of versed jurists preferably one that has directly or indirectly experienced a similar situation. Husbands are not easy to find for even single women, and children from broken homes are still more likely to become delinquent wastes. When the dust settles everyone goes back to their husbands, children, and families. No they would not share. Where does that leave this poor convert lady. What guarantees her a happy marriage in islam as muslim men are not custom made in heaven. The quran in several instances when passing legal rules states 'expect for what has already passed'. Marrying a non muslim husband is not the same as leaving your children and spouse because of religious conversion. May Allah guide our decision making as muslims and not test us with burdens greater than we can bear. And He is the Most gracious, the Most merciful.

may Allah grant him jannah, a violent death I think, is martyrdom for a Muslim. Allahu alam.

Quran 8:25 And fear a trial which will not strike those who have wronged among you
exclusively, and know that Allah is severe in penalty.

not that I'm this sad guy, but I am not this 'happy go lucky, life is a ball' kind of guy either. I tend to view 'happiness' with suspicion and apprehension, and can't stop feeling that so called happy people are really being selfish. so I felt happy when I stumbled across this article on suhaibwebb.com and thought to share it with people that may be struggling with the concept of happiness. here :


I was recently asked to give a talk entitled, “The Pursuit of Happiness.” I had a lot to say about the topic, and unfortunately was not able to deliver all of it. This topic is really important in general, but especially in this day and age where we find many people suffering from depression/melancholy at some point in their life.

What is Happiness?

Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”—rights enshrined in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. But in order to talk about the pursuit of happiness, we need to know what happiness is.

It turns out that happiness is a little hard to define. We all know what it is, and we know when we are happy, but it is difficult to put into words because it is so experiential. It is one of these things that is an end in and of itself; people want things in order to be happy, whether it is wealth, health, or a dream we want to achieve. Wikipedia’s definition states that “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” Psychologist Ed Diener, author of Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, describes it as a combination of life satisfaction and having more positive emotions than negative emotions.

Most of us would think that we would be “happy” if we were able to obtain some life achievement, or that our happiness would disappear if we lost our home in a fire (God forbid). But psychologists have found that after some period of adjustment, we actually go back to our previous level of happiness, no matter what happens to us. So happiness is a state that we can cultivate that does not have to be permanently affected by the things that happen to us externally. The more we work on our happiness, the easier it is to come back to it after times of hardship.


The Pursuit of Happiness

There are two types “happiness”: in Jannah (Paradise) and in this world. Jannah is a happiness that we pursue, it is the permanent happiness, where there is no fear or grief. And insha’Allah (God willing), everything that we do should be geared for that: the pleasure of God and Jannah.
But in this world, I do not believe in the pursuit of happiness. That is not because I do not believe in happiness in this world. It is quite the opposite. I just do not believe in pursuing it, because when we say we are pursuing happiness, we are implying that happiness is something that is outside of us and that it is out of reach, which is why we have to pursue it.

Yet Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He), has made happiness in this world easy. He made it something inside of us that is not necessarily dependent on the external. So we can pursue Jannah while being happy in this world, or we can pursue it while being depressed—which one would you rather have? Which one will enable you to be more productive?

Question:

Do you think Allah (swt) wants you to be happy in this world?

The answer to this question matters greatly. If you think that you are meant to suffer, then that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every bad thing that happens becomes a moment of “Of course I knew this would happen, I have such terrible luck,” as opposed to something we learn from and grow as a result of. If we think Allah (swt) wants us to suffer, then we will only find closeness to Him in pain. This does not mean that we cannot find Allah (swt) in moments of pain, but we should be able to go to Allah both in times of ease and in hardship. So does He want us to be happy in this world?

Happiness in the Life of a Believer

My argument is that Allah (swt) wants us to be happy in this world—especially when happiness is defined as a general state of contentment. Why do I say this? Our example, the Prophet ﷺ, was a balanced man. His general state was one of contentment. He was described as daa’im al-bushra, meaning he was always optimistic and happy. He was serious when times called for it, and that was to encourage reflection and accountability, and prevent frivolity.

Moreover, we are taught that the best thing to do is make others happy. The Prophet ﷺ said that the most beloved deed to Allah (swt) after the obligatory acts of worship is to bring joy to a fellow Muslim. He also said that what necessitates forgiveness from Allah (swt) is bringing joy to your brother (Tabarani). Finally he taught us that the only reward for bringing joy to an entire household is Paradise (Tabarani). When the Prophet ﷺ found out that a child’s pet bird had died, he went to play with him to make him forgot about his sorrow. If we are all busy making others happy, who is left to be sad?

How to Be Happy

I started going through studies and articles written on happiness and what makes people happy. I found that the results were a combination of things, and most articles mentioned gratefulness, optimism, purpose, love, and doing good. All of these help us to reach a general state of happiness or contentment.

Interestingly, all of these are virtues taught to us in the Qur’an and by the Prophet ﷺ:

Gratefulness:
We are told in the Qur’an: “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Qu’ran, 18:18)[Unknown A1] . Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, we can realize that all of the blessings that we have can have a profound effect on our well-being. Instead of focusing on what we do not have, or the negative things that happened to us in a day, we should focus on what we have been given.

Optimism:
Every notice how some people just have good energy? They tend to be optimistic people that can see the good in situations where others only see negatives. Allah (swt) teaches us how to have this outlook, when He tells us “I am at my servant’s opinion of Me,” (Bukhari). If you think well of Allah, that is what you will find. So Allah is telling us that it is up to us. If we want to imagine a grumpy god that wants wickedness for the world, well, it is our own fault that that is what we see. But Allah (swt) encourages us to think well of Him—He is teaching us the Islamic outlook on life. He teaches us to be optimistic even in times of distress, when He says, “So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief,” (Qur’an, 94:5-6). Every hardship comes with at least two reliefs, so focus on the good that Allah (swt) gave you to help overcome the bad. Moreover, we are also reminded “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not,” (Qur’an, 2:216). Being optimistic means not seeing simply the hardship, but what could be behind the hardship in terms of lessons, and seeing that it could be a good thing.
Purpose: What is Islam about if not about defining our purpose? A recent UCLA study showed that the happiness that comes from having a deep sense of meaning and purpose in life can contribute to favorable gene-expression profiles. When you know what you are pursuing, it makes everything worth it. So think: who do you want to be? We all know we were sent worship God, but we also know that besides the basics that we are all required to do (such as prayers, fasting, alms-giving etc), we each are unique in the way that we seek closeness to Him. It could be through starting up an ethical business, dedicating our lives to be an amazing teacher, striving to be a wonderful parent, devoting our time to issues of social justice—anything.

Love:
We all have people that love us. And it is important to foster good relationships with our family and friends. We are reminded again and again to have a good relationship with our neighbors, our close friends and our family. It is not only a duty, but also something that enriches our life. And even if we think we do not have anyone that loves us, then we should remember that Allah (swt) loves us. And we should not for a moment let shaytan (the Devil) tell us that this is not true. Why would Allah (swt) allow you to read these words of encouragement if He did not want what is best for you? And why would He want what is best for you if He does not love you?

First, it is natural to have our down moments. The Prophet ﷺ was sad when he lost his son Ibrahim. He suffered many hardships as well. When Aisha (ra) asked him whether the Battle of Uhud was the most difficult thing he went through, he said that it was the abuse he was subjected to at Ta’if that was the worst.

Second, there is a difference between being tested externally and being defeated internally. Yes, Allah (swt) tests those He loves. But He only tests us with what we can bear. This means that the stronger we are internally, the more hardship we are able to bear. Allah (swt) does not aim to destroy you but to build you. If you are at peace, while you will be shaken by hardships, you will not be broken, like the prophets and the righteous. Your worldview will enable you to see the hardship for what it is: temporary.

So when things go wrong, let yourself be sad as opposed to bottling things up. The Prophet ﷺ wept for his son. Things bothered him sometimes. But that was not his general state. He did not dwell on his hardships. Rather, his healthy internal state allowed him return to his default, which was a state of gratefulness and optimism.

If you ever feel down or distressed, remember this du`a’ (supplication):
O Allāh, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.
[Bukhari]

Practical Tips
When we talk about happiness, it is easy to talk about the intangibles, but what are concrete ways to get there? I have compiled a list that I hope will help, Insha’Allah:

Realize that happiness is truly from within. Let go of holding onto to stress and fear, and realize that Allah (swt) gave you the power to affect your internal state. Allah says He is what we think of Him, so we need to live in accordance with that opinion and internalize that good opinion of Him.
Build hope and faith in Allah, and develop your relationship with Him: this is your asset and will get you through things. Study His Names, focus on connecting to Him through your prayers, reflect over the Qur’an and have secret good deeds that no one knows about but Him.
Develop yourself: No two days in the day of a Muslim should be the same. Learn new things. Read. Cultivate the “sound heart”. Work on your interpersonal skills. The Prophet ﷺ said that wisdom is the lost property of the believer, so we should be seeking wisdom in all its forms.

Smile:
It’s a sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) as we know, and psychological studies have shown that smiling can increase your happiness levels and lift your spirits. Fun study: Wayne State University scientists in Detroit concluded that those athletes who smiled more in their pictures lived on average seven years longer than those who did not.

Do good:
There are countless ahadeeth (sayings of the Prophet) that encourage us to do good for others, without expecting anything for ourselves. The Prophet ﷺ gave his time in addition to his wealth to people who needed it. Allah (swt) says in the Qu’ran, “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection” (Qu’ran, 19:96). Meaning Allah (swt) will show His love for you! Moreover, one of Allah’s Names is ash-Shakoor; He appreciates and gives back even more than you put in when you do good!

Good friends:
The Prophet ﷺ taught us that “A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace,” (Bukhari). We know that we can be influenced by the people around us to varying degrees. Researchers show that people who surround themselves with other happy people are more likely to be happy. Happiness is contagious, and so are good habits. Be with people who can remind you, who can encourage you and who care for their own state that they influence you in a good way without even speaking.
Develop a relationship with your family: I put this as a separate point to the above because I feel that it requires extra focus. The Prophet ﷺ tells us, “The best of you are those who are best to their families,” (Tirmidhi). What we go home to also influences us. Many of us live with our parents, and we have heard countless talks about the obedience to parents. But our relationship with our parents is so much more than obedience, and characterizing the relationship in that way makes it rigid and dry. In the Qur’an we are told to “accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]” (31:15). The word is used is saahibhuma, which is from the root that gives us the word saahib: companion. Some of us may have difficult relationships with our parents, and so this part is extra hard if we feel disconnected from them. But remember, we are rewarded for our efforts. Find something in common between you. Maybe your mother enjoys reading and your father loves a certain sport. You can try to find those little things that will transform your relationship.

Take a break:
Do you like knitting? Maybe take time out and watch a documentary. Play martial arts. Do some yoga. Go out for coffee. Chill in the park. This is not haraam and is not considered a waste of time if we are being balanced (and as long as the thing itself is not haraam). Handhala (ra), one of the companions of the Prophet ﷺ, went running to the Prophet ﷺ because he feared he was a hypocrite for being more spiritual when he was with him rather than when he was in his family. But the Prophet ﷺ told him, “There is time for this and a time for that,” (Muslim).

see complete article here: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/islam-101/belief-and-worship/the-pursuit-of-happiness/

sisters, salam alaykum. Wanted to post this as a separate thread but had little time. You may find this interesting as Maryam Ibrahim does quite a revelation of herself:
www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/islam-101/misconceptions/how-i-lost-my-identity-5-tips-when-studying-women-in-islam/

tbaba1234:

lol, i know the person... Like i said, it was only in your head. Chemistry ko, chemistry ni!!

lol, more like physics ni, i know tbaba would not allow oragree to having anything of that nature on nl. Btw na wa o, a subject that most people took in secondary skool, they cannot even define.

tbaba1234:

lol, i know the person... Like i said, it was only in your head. Chemistry ko, chemistry ni!!

bump. May Allah accept the sacrifice of all hujajj, past, present, and future. Amin.

sweettweet: Salam,
The fact that somethings were practised during the time of the prophet does not mean it is applicable to us.We shld not forget that Aisha(RA)'s marraige to the prophet was divine. She played a very signaficant role in the transmission of the way of life of the Prophet(SAW) to the ummah after the death of the prophet(saw).This singular feat shows us her level of intelligence. How many 12 yrs old girl in this age can boast of this level of intelligence, these are children that we still manage to make them observe salah and sawm.
And a candid question to the men : How many 25years old will marry a 40years old woman, basically for the love and not material gains.
We are always trying to do things we feel will favour us but run away from things we don't find pleasing. Abegi o, I have a lot of ripe sisters looking for husbands o. Let us get those ones out of the way first before thinking of the small ones that we'll be teaching how to even wash plates and wear pants properly!!!

sorry to barge in on the sisters but could not help laughing at this comment. one of the wittiest comments, I've read on nl in recent times. truth is shariah has not specified any age for marriage, only that such a person should be mature, Nigerian muslim women really maintained a guilty silence during that period, and even on this forum and this just shows the state of women within the community. people should strive to practice the shariah in their personal lives and establish communities based on islamic principles, and this child marriage thing would be a non issue. Nigerians that cannot perform wudoo properly are debating the age of marriage. sad times.

pmc01: Esthikar Khan:

A Committed Father, and Obedient Children
One night Umar bn AlKhattab called all his children
and addressed them thus: “I know you do not know
why I have called upon you this night. Some of you
may be thinking: our father is now Ameerul
Mumineen and we are his children. So, when any of
you goes about his business, he would expect
people to give him priority. I want you to know that
your father used to tend to his father’s camels,
and that his father used to ill-treat him and beat
him up. Your father used to collect firewood for his
aunts and they would give him a handful of dates.
Our clan, Adiy, were not of any distinction in
Quraysh. They were well below other clans such as
Abd Manaf, Makhzoom, and Jumah. God Has
elevated us by Islam and by submission to Him
alone. People will now look at you just as bird
looks at meat. If you come to grab it, they will grab
with you, and if you refrain, they refrain. If I issue
an order prohibiting something on people, then you
must be the first to refrain from it. By God, if any
one of you is brought to me, having done what I
have ordered people to refrain, I will double his
punishment because of his relation to me. Until one
of you will say: how I wish our father has not
assumed the leadership of the Muslim state, so
that we would be like any other person. Do you
understand what I have said?” They all answered,
“Yes.”

brilliant. the ending [b]They all answered,“Yes.”[/b]is funny to me don't know why. sounds like some strict Naija father warning his children, cane in hand.

right, she was being sarcastic, like raging against the world with wit. she's a headstrong one alright. did you guys read the comments? I agree most with the one that said boys need to be raised to deal with their insecurities and not see successful women as threats, cos really some women are just so gifted they can compete with the best men, they get prizes in school, are leaders at their workplace, they may even flog you at chess. having said that such women would do better to view such gifts as tests, and climb down a little when appraising suitors. a woman needs to "marry up" in some way, so maybe they could look out for some aspects where the man exceeds them that are not so obvious e.g a female nuclear physicist could consider a decent scholar of hadith from renowned sources, or something of that nature.

always read the comments on blogs, they give a whole lot broader perspective on the issue. see here: http://loveinshallah.com/2013/06/20/yes-this-is-about-marriage/

Yes, this is about marriage

Tell us we’re being picky. Tell us there is no perfect man. Tell us our standards are impossible. Tell us to compromise.

Say what you want. The truth is: you don’t understand.

Our entire lives, we are taught to be driven and motivated, to set high goals, that women are just as capable as men, that societies are built on the backs of strong women, that we should never give up our dreams because we face obstacles.

Then we grow up. We are told that good girls don’t go away for school. Good girls live with their parents until they marry. Most of us comply, many reluctantly so, but we comply. We convince ourselves that it’s not the school or its rank that define our success, it’s how we use the knowledge we gain. We excel. We outshine everyone in our classes, we are our professors’ favorites, we rack up more grants, scholarships, honors, awards, recognitions, and leadership experience than all of our brothers and our friends’ brothers combined. We are scholastic superstars. We are the immigrant success story, the smiling face on the cover of diversity brochures advertising our universities, we are the ambassadors of our foreign religion and culture, we are the articulate tan face that always has a question or a comment or a caveat to add.

We are blessed. Our parents encourage us, our communities support us, our universities celebrate us. Then we graduate and the facade crumbles.


“Why aren’t you married? Why are your priorities so out of whack? You’re getting old and all of your friends are married! Hurry up, time is running out!”

“It’s ok,” they comfort us, “at least you’re doing something to pass the time… Maybe you’ll meet him at work or in grad school.” And just like that, we are permitted to advance another rung on the ladder to career success, I mean permitted to begin a new hobby as we “pass the time.”

We are aware that we are single. We are aware that he has not come. Some have come, but he hasn’t. “Kul shee ismeh wa naseeb,” they remind us. “Don’t worry, you’re a good girl: smart, pretty, religious, educated, from a good family, nice, and any guy would be lucky to have you.” You know most of them don’t see it that way. You’re too tall or short, not curvy enough or too chubby, too argumentative or too hard to read, too ambitious, too assertive, too strong-willed. And old.

All of a sudden, the things you’d been conditioned your entire life to embody are your greatest faults. Making your community proud, representing them in a positive light, your student activism for causes everyone in the community silently supports, and your densely packed resume make you undesirable.

You wonder, why would they raise me to be this way if they despise it so much? Then you realize. These values they instilled in you were not intended to be applied to your own life. No, you are taught these values so that you can be a quality mother, the kind of mother that teaches her kids to be successful and ambitious, so that one day her sons can make the community proud and her daughters can marry young and raise boys like their fathers. You realize that your entire life, you were being groomed not to be a doctor, lawyer, academic, journalist, or professional. Rather, you were being groomed to be a mother who raises sons who assume these important societal roles and professions.

Now, all of a sudden, you find yourself single, over 24, and on track for a great career. You have attainable goals, a multitude of contacts, and perfect and relavent experience in your field. You really are headed places. You are making real plans and the career of your dreams is within your reach.

Instead of wasting your time obsessing over something beyond your control, like marriage (everything is naseeb after all, right?), you dedicated yourself fully to benefitting your family and community with whatever contribution you can make. You know where you want to live, what institution you want to work for, and the kind of hours and work environment you seek.

Then someone knocks on the door. He’s ok, not perfect, but neither are you. He lives in Siberia though, or Nairobi, or Mongolia. These places are all great and you’d love to visit them one day, but you have a plan. All of your contacts and your experiences are somewhere else. You have worked too hard. They can’t expect you to throw it all away for him because they can’t see anything wrong with him, right?

Now you’re “immature and shallow.” “It’s because he’s not very handsome, or because he isn’t very wealthy, or because his hairline is receding. Your priorities are warped and ridiculous. Good–well, decent–men don’t come by often and, if you refuse him, you don’t know if/when another will come. Your career can come later.”

“It’s ok if you aren’t excited to see him or talk to him, it’s just because you’re still nervous around each other. It’s ok if you always get a headache when you think about him and despise discussing him with your family and friends, you’re just shy and this is still new. Crying and nausea are normal for soon-to-be brides. You’d be crazy not to agree to his proposal, another one may not come along!”

I am stubborn, but I am willing to make sacrifices and concessions when they seem worth it. I will give up aspects of the career of my dreams for a man I think can keep me happy and treat me well. But I don’t think this is him. Just because he doesn’t have a glaring fault, doesn’t mean I am not entitled to refuse him. This MY future we are gambling, and I’m not comfortable with this wager. I will be half of the composition of this marriage, don’t my preferences on where we live, work, and raise our family matter? No, apparently, they don’t.

“If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, there will be fitna in the land and vast corruption.” (Tirmidhi) You have been defeated. Submit. Don’t fight. You lose. It’s over.

All of your upbringing was a lie; you are not a valuable person whose critical thoughts and challenging opinions have worth. No, you are a wife. A wife with a good resume, but only a wife nonetheless. Do not expect more and do not aim to change norms. Submit. Don’t fight. You lose. It’s over.

–

Maryam I. is a Palestinian-American Muslimah raised in Texas. She studies law and hopes to soon return to Palestine and put her degree to use. She is deeply committed to her faith and her family, but struggles to reconcile her ambition with the future her parents envision for her. Follow her on twitter: @48refugee

in fact, Christians and non muslims should be encouraged to fast ramadan, i swear dat is quarter to Islam, lol. Eid Mubarak peeps.

Amin, eid mubarak to everyone.

eid mubarak everyone! Front page pls!!!

Mai-suya:
This hasn't been my best Ramadan , but I pray Allah helps me change that in this second half.

thankfully, Ramadan is a full month and we can always make up for any lapses as we progress. may Allah accept our worship.
revs vehicle and shifts into fifth gear #last10

very. those ancient Arabs and battle sef. was there no other way to survive in the harsh desert, or they were just genetically confrontational.

yeah I know, but you know us Yoruba people, we like enjoyment too much. maybe the coming generation will tone it down a bit.

this Ramadan I've been listening to a radio station in
Oyo state: 99.1 amuludun fm. they are the only ones that transmit mostly Islamic programs around here. most these other stations are just carrying on with slamming music like they usually do. frankly the station is really trying to be fair, they at least always keep one conscious of being in Ramadan. however they transmit almost solely in yoruba, they bring in all these alfas with queer sounding names like 'eleshinmeta', 'akeujaiye', 'onilawani' etc. some of them are actually knowledgeable in spite of the names. and trust my people dem dey play 'islamic music' like mad. this is not nasheed o. I swear all sorts of Islamic music as in hip hop, Regan, Fuji, name it. see trips o.

nice to be progressing into the 2nd third of Ramadan. after a stuttering lethargic start, I'm gradually getting into the tempo, hoping to peak in the final third. I prefer it this way as I always strive for a strong finish in everything inshallahu.

^laffing, why would anyone want to ponder over dat?
anyways, this Ramadan and the cold sha. it's taking a lot of mental prep to perform ablution. thinking of keeping some warm water flask nearby at all times. I wonder how those guys in the west cope. I don't dig cold weather at all.
one chap called in sick after failing to show up at work on time. instantly I caught his scope, I was like 'sharp guy, Ramadan and cold weather no be easy combination'.

another classical pre adolescent clearvessel thread. there's nothing clear about the vessel. it's a blocked vessel filled with ignorance, puke, and pus. re writing the bible and misquoting the Quran in broad daylight even after being clearly shown the truth. condemning people to hell. it should be obvious to anyone by now that this is no serious fellow just a silly clown with access to the internet. and do you relate with Muslims in real life or do you have Muslim relatives? your conduct on this forum has been low thus far to say the least. I motion to move thread to thrash section.

Hey ya, I can imagine brodas like just blank their expression and complete the ablution.

Quran 4: 1. O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it
its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear
Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is
ever, over you, an Observer.

Source: http://aayjay./2013/06/10/another-thing-that-i-love-about-saudi-arabia/
Ramadan Kareem in advance!!!

salam alaykum, I saw this article while randomly browsing and found it funny. I remembered muslims in the west and wondered how it must be for them. In Naija here we just enter anywhere perform ablution and start praying. See below:

Another thing that I love about
Saudi Arabia… …is that I can perform wudhu
(ablution for prayers) while at work
in the bathrooms without causing
anyone any disconcertion. This was
the scene during a bathroom in
America when it was wudhu time. Actually, before I relate that I will tell
a short story about three Muslim
guys that worked in my company at
a branch other than mine. One of
these guys got transferred to my
branch and told me about this incident while chuckling about it. As
the story goes, the three religiously
bearded guys, all in software
engineering, went to the office
bathroom one day which was shared
with some other companies in that office building, as well. It was
perhaps Zuhr (the afternoon prayer)
time. This was North Carolina. The
wudhu basically consists of this: 1. Rinse your mouth three times 2. Rinse your nose three times 3. Wash your face three times 4. Wash your hands until the
elbows three times, right
hand first and then left. 5. Sweep wet hands over your
head 6. Clean your ears and neck 7. Wash your feet making sure
to clean the space between
the toes, right foot first and
then left. Now, #7 is the trickiest thing to
achieve in a public bathroom in
America. There is no separate faucet
at feet level so basically you have to
stand by the sink and bring both
your feet alternately to the sink to clean them. Now, if someone
entered the bathroom and you were
gargling – they could think you are
just perhaps rinsing after brushing
your teeth. If you are washing your
face, they could perhaps think that you are a little sleepy or a little sick.
You could sneak in the ear cleaning
part somewhere but how do you
explain dangling your foot in the
bathroom sink while perhaps
wearing a suit? It’s not, that you came in from some Safari or the
beach and had your feet dirtied in
the mud. So picture this. The three bearded
guys wearing professional clothing,
all standing in the bathroom, with
their feet in the sink and some North
Carolinian who knows nothing about
Islam or Muslims comes in – what does he think? Well, I used to face that situation of
washing my feet in the sink but
lucky for me, I never encountered
anyone walking in on me. I have to
admit, I did take a short cut
sometimes. I wouldn’t bring my feet to the sink – I would quickly and
repeatedly bring wets hands to my
feet which could perhaps become a
little bit cumbersome. Praying on a
rug constantly bending and kneeling
in a space in the office where no one could walk in on me is another story. But the best thing about Saudi
Arabia is that they don’t separate
intellect and worship of God. It’s not
that if you are a neurosurgeon, you
have evolved to a degree where you
don’t believe in God, anymore. People with the highest intellect
bend and pray when it’s time to
pray. In the ladies prayer room, we
have doctors, surgeons, nurses, staff
and the occasional engineer like me
praying next to each without having to act that if I was smart, I wouldn’t
be washing my feet in public
bathrooms or kneeling in front of
God. Alhumdulillah!

add to causes:
trivializing the issue i.e. by thinking/saying 'wot is even there sef', 'everyone is doing it', 'shebi I'm not hurting anyone', and also 'God will understand, and forgive me'( how do you know this ).

causes ?hormones, free mixing between sexes, late marriage, not having enough knowledge of the deen, not engaging in enough acts of worship, poverty, idleness, media: tv, internet etc, books and magazines, poor parenting
if you tackle these within any society, indecency will not be absent but will be significantly reduced.
ps: how to tackle hormones? #scratchinghead

cleanvessel: It still boils down to the fact that islam is not strong enough to withstand civil opposition. Those who are weak, indulgent and ignorant, are they muslims in the real sense of islam? Your excuse is lame, very lame.

silly boy, who is making excuses. It is easier for a weak, indulgent muslim to be taught his religion than for him to return if allowed to follow misguidance: Jesus is God, God created himslf as a son and came to earth. God is three and one at the same time. Plain confusion, now run along and go to play little boy. Who has time for this!

cleanvessel: It still boils down to the fact that islam is not strong enough to withstand civil opposition. Those who are weak, indulgent and ignorant, are they muslims in the real sense of islam? So you want them to be neither here nor there? Your excuse is lame, very lame.

silly boy, who is making excuses. It is easier for a weak, indulgent muslim to be taught his religion than for him to return if allowed to follow misguidance: Jesus is God, God created himslf as a son and came to earth. God is three and one at the same time. Plain confusion, now run along and go to play little boy. Who has time for this!

btw, reverts of all nationalities are welcome to share their experiences, hopes and fears here. inshallahu u will find at least a listening ear.
i should add that reverts should take things in stride, and not allow the emotions of discovering the plain truth of Islam to overwhelm them into taking hasty decisions they may later regret. you have rights towards your family and society. Islam is a journey of a lifetime, and there would be a lot of learning to do. may God have mercy on us all. salam.

thoughtful thread. wallahi, I feel for the nigerian Muslim revert. no support system in place, and the whole experience is more isolating. thank God for the internet. anyway, even 'born' Muslims have no support here, not to talk of reverts. as u may have observed the nigerian Muslim is likely to convert to Christianity. Allahu alam.

^ Christianity is a more liberal religion. easier on the physical self. appealing to the senses with music and dancing. venerating images etc. they are also usually well sponsored financially, but all these do not make a religion TRUE. if preachers are allowed to freely propagate Christianity in Muslim lands, they would mislead the weak, indulgent, and ignorant among Muslims. Kapish.