₦airaland Forum

While I believe firmly in the existence of God and an afterlife, I would the evidence for the occurrence of medical miracles in this present age is weak. Of course such miracles may have occurred in the past, we have no proof to the contrary. It is still safer to believe in God. Every human soul is afflicted one way or the other, even the so called atheists, just some affliction is more than the other, at least with belief in God, there is hope of respite in heaven. We would do better as humans to learn to support the afflicted and show gratitude for our own seemingly better fortune. Not use afflictions as evidence against God. It is a lousy excuse at best.

To these nairaland hypothyroid patients, all those kids that erratically murder their classmates and themselves in the U.S are christian Demons. Hate has no logic.

This economic depression seems to be affecting the brain of nairalanders. If a war traumatized or psychologically deficient individual commits a violent act of civil disturbance, how does that have anything to do with his religion? Nobody called the useless white cops killing people in the US christian terrorists or said that christianity was fundamentally violent. But when a Muslim is involved, their media brain-washed dysfunctional cognitive processes go into overdrive.
The Germans can re evaluate their assimilation policies, a compulsory psychological surveillance for refugees for a stipulated period after arrival may be a good starting point.

Anyone has a reasonable piece of advice for this young man? Preferably someone who has been in the same scenario or who has experienced something similar before.
A Muslim man does not sin by marrying a Christian if I'm correct. So contribute pls.

cococandy:
Nice contribution snubish.

Please how can you make a medical diagnosis over the Internet?
Plus she's not displaying the telltale signs of histrionic personality disorder.
She does seem to have emotional issues apparently. But which it is, is left for her psychiatrist/s to diagnose.

The thing is to know when her issues started. Before or after the escapades? Before people will start dismissing her claims for the rants of a mad woman.

yes you can make a diagnosis over the internet. if you saw someone with midline neck swelling, you could call it a goitre just by seeing an internet image. if you saw a person with yellow eyes on the internet you could call it jaundice, if a person's symptoms were described to you, you could suggest a case of schizophrenia tentatively, albeit no diagnosis is infallible.
having said that, people with these disorders rarely ever show up at hospitals, they are not sick as in sick, just they have dysfunctional personalities. they are seen more in courts, police counters, prisons, reform schools if it got to that. or they may just be found dead around the corner after crossing some vengeful individual.
l'm glad this is out in public now and people are stopping to search for answers, and many people have been sensitized about the gravity of parental responsibility. many people however are still hurt and confused from the harm they have received from a supposed loved one with a personality disorder.

Mindfulness:
I have a different theory. Without being judgmental, there must be something inside of a person to feel attracted to someone like this.
Have you ever heard of the term codependent relationship?

well, may be true. but in real life it's usually the simple and trusting ones that fall prey to shady elements, or yet those who have become desperate for one reason or the other.

Mindfulness:
Why would people date such people? It is an interesting question, isn't it?

they can be more charming than usual, and more attractive at times. have u seen her; sugarbelly?
i'm sure u know good people in bad marriages.

what the young lady clearly is suffering from is a Histrionic personality disorder. why she ticks almost all the boxes.
absent father figure.
overly suggestive and erotic behaviour.
creative and over dramatic and over emotional
repeating patterns of abuse in dysfunctional relationships
no stable long term relationships
self centeredness.
depression and suicidal tendencies.
there are more if you read between the lines.

while she may not be completely lying about the Audu man, it would be simple and ignorant to believe all her tales. these people are prone to exaggeration worse still is that she has a talent for writing. i personally do not envy the young man at this moment, while not particularly academically bright many sufferers are extremely clever beyond most people's daily encounters.
i'm not exonerating the man, but in their relationships, everyone is scarred they victims as well as abusers, they suggest abuse and encourage abuse. then they use the abuse to manipulate.

i know this because i dated and truly loved a person with a similar disposition for 2 years. so i speak from experience, it was knowledge gained the hard way.

the young man would have learnt his lesson I'm sure. he should face the consequences of any excesses his youthful exuberance may have caused him to truly engage in. the young lady would not benefit from chastisement or random comments of sympathy on a blog post or public forum. the disorders start in early life and her deeply ingrained in the personality. she would benefit more from psychotherapy by trained personell. she should be encouraged to stick to her medication well to prevent he depressive bouts from becoming eventually suicidal. quite frankly it would do no good to comment more on the matter. this is a hard life and the damage on both sides is immense, naturally it would be tougher on the man who has been a more stable and rather accomplished young man with a family in bloom. good day.

I have been following this case keenly and finally reached a conclusion. i have also read sugabelly's blog occasionally. clearly she is a creative young woman and an extremely gifted writer. read her blog and u'll know she is something different in her style and quality of writing. the problem is in the content of her writing which may seem initially amusing but becomes shocking on closer appraisal. take for example her blog post 'why i had sex'. Many comments actually praised her for not being hypocritical, for being sexually mature and free and so on. A few people were able to discern the impropriety of it all, fewer still would have observed the dysfunctionality of the whole thing. and this is evident in many of her other posts to those who can sense them.
to start with her name is Lotanna which means 'remember the father', this suggests parental loss at birth or something of that nature. this is mere speculation but clearly there has been the absence of a father figure all along and this may be the single most important factor to decipher all her actions.

May God grant us the blessings of the holy month. The month of the Quran.

2:183

O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous.

WHICH OF THE BLESSINGS OF YOUR LORD WILL YOU DENY.


Surat Al-'Isrā' (The Night Journey)
17:70

And We have certainly honored the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of what We have created, with [definite] preference.

Alhamdulillahi, I can post in the section again. Thanks Seun, and everyone that helped with dat, I appreciate. Salam.

ok, seen a mail from maclatunji. seems the i have to get to the forum owner with my grievances. mods, kindly delete the thread.

sorry, but this is actually a distress cry. I started a thread in the Islam section, now I can't post on the thread. why: because a stupid questionnaire was displayed asking to testify on some articles of faith. by God I didn't see a yes option on the thing. I tried to bring up options by clicking on no, and pronto; I was unable to post anything in the section again. so now i'm humbly begging, if this is some sort of joke or programming experiment, pls leave me out and kindly restore my membership status to its original state. pls mods kindly notify your colleagues in charge about this complain. I have been posting threads, and comments mostly on the section in the past, why would a stupid computer program wake up and deny me access on the click of a button. in fact..........this has to be some prank.

amin, thumma amin.

Now, the above hadith clearly has important lessons. I would like to state the most obvious to me as follows:
1. The Quran is the truth
Had the Quran been formulated by the prophet (as many people assume), he(peace be on him) would have manufactured a verse/verses to suit himself when needed. In this case, he could easily have claimed that it was revealed to him that Aisha and the rumoured accomplice were guilty. He could then go ahead to 'reveal' a judgement regarding them. All these would then be promptly implemented. This would have been the most natural course of action, because as we can see from the hadith, the prophet, being human, was unsure of the loyalty of Aisha in this instance. Events, by Allah's will had put her in a cloudy position, and the prophet could not help but stop being his usual caring self during her illness. But alhamdulillah, after some time had passed, the revelation came, and truth triumphed over falsehood in sha Allah. And the Quran had already stated:

53:3 Nor does he speak of (his own) desire.
53:4 It is only an Inspiration that is inspired.

2. The prophet was a human.
He had no knowledge of the unseen. He had to await revelation, and only then did he convey the message. He used to eat, sleep, and walk around in the market like everyone else. Had he knowledge of the unseen, the matter would have been made clear immediately, but he had to wait for a whole month thereabout, that must have been trying. As the Quran stated:

7:188 Say (O Muhammad SAW): "I possess no power of benefit or hurt to myself except as Allah wills. If I had the knowledge of the Ghaib (unseen), I should have secured for myself an abundance of wealth, and no evil should have touched me. I am but a warner, and a bringer of glad tidings unto people who believe."

3. Allah tests the best of people.
This is also an important lesson learnt from the hadith. Allah tests the best of people with severe trials. This event tested several individuals, and in the end those who remain steadfast are exalted. The messenger, Aisha, the esteemed family of Abu Bakr, Zainab, Safwan bin Mu'attal, and several other people were tested with this event. Those who sincerely feared Allah in the open and in secret were vindicated at last. And the Quran stated:

4:135 O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allah is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allah is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do.

I also observed the humility of our mother Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, when she stated that she was not expecting a revelation in the Quran concerning herself. On the other hand, I respected her pride; she refused to thank the prophet for a matter that Allah settled. Even here, her feisty temperament, her eloquence, and her quickness of wit are consistently evident. This her proud stance was in no later event reported to be condemned by the prophet, it was a pride fed by sincere piety, and a confident self esteem. The pride to be condemned is that due to arrogance, the type that causes one to look down on others who are not as gifted or privileged. May God deliver us from that.

The hadith warns us in essence against the slandering of pious women, or anyone for that matter. Suspicion is not a noble character to display towards others, and only Allah sees the heart and knows the truth. To this day, there are those who smear the integrity of Aisha so passionately you would think they were close-by watching her directly during her life time several centuries ago, though they have no knowledge of the unseen. May Allah keep us from that.

I am sure there are several other lessons, temporal or spiritual, to be learnt from this hadith. Feel free to add what you learnt.
salam alaikum.

I was a young girl and did not have much knowledge of the Quran. I said. 'I know, by Allah, that you have listened to what people are saying and that has been planted in your minds and you have taken it as a truth. Now, if I told you that I am innocent and Allah knows that I am innocent, you would not believe me and if I confessed to you falsely that I am guilty, and Allah knows that I am innocent you would believe me. By Allah, I don't compare my situation with you except to the situation of Joseph's father (i.e. Jacob) who said, 'So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and it is Allah (Alone) whose help can be sought.' Then I turned to the other side of my bed hoping that Allah would prove my innocence. By Allah I never thought that Allah would reveal Divine Inspiration in my case, as I considered myself too inferior to be talked of in the Holy Qur'an. I had hoped that Allah's Apostle might have a dream in which Allah would prove my innocence. By Allah, Allah's Apostle had not got up and nobody had left the house before the Divine Inspiration came to Allah's Apostle. So, there overtook him the same state which used to overtake him, (when he used to have, on being inspired divinely). He was sweating so much so that the drops of the sweat were dropping like pearls though it was a (cold) wintry day. When that state of Allah's Apostle was over, he was smiling and the first word he said, 'Aisha! Thank Allah, for Allah has declared your innocence.' My mother told me to go to Allah's Apostle . I replied, 'By Allah I will not go to him and will not thank but Allah.' So Allah revealed: "Verily! They who spread the slander are a gang among you . . ." (24.11)

When Allah gave the declaration of my Innocence, Abu Bakr, who used to provide for Mistah bin Uthatha for he was his relative, said, 'By Allah, I will never provide Mistah with anything because of what he said about Aisha.' But Allah later revealed: --

"And let not those who are good and wealthy among you swear not to help their kinsmen, those in need and those who left their homes in Allah's Cause. Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? Verily! Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful." (24.22) After that Abu Bakr said, 'Yes ! By Allah! I like that Allah should forgive me,' and resumed helping Mistah whom he used to help before.

Allah's Apostle also asked Zainab bint Jahsh (i.e. the Prophet's wife about me saying, 'What do you know and what did you see?' She replied, 'O Allah's Apostle! I refrain to claim hearing or seeing what I have not heard or seen. By Allah, I know nothing except goodness about Aisha." Aisha further added "Zainab was competing with me (in her beauty and the Prophet's love), yet Allah protected her (from being malicious), for she had piety."

In the morning my parents were with me and I had wept for two nights and a day, till I thought my liver would burst from weeping. While they were sitting with me and I was weeping, an Ansari woman asked my permission to enter, and I allowed her to come in. She sat down and started weeping with me. While we were in this state, Allah's Apostle came and sat down and he had never sat with me since the day they forged the accusation. No revelation regarding my case came to him for a month. He recited Tashah-hud (i.e. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad is His Apostle) and then said, 'O 'Aisha! I have been informed such-and-such about you; if you are innocent, then Allah will soon reveal your innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then repent to Allah and ask Him to forgive you, for when a person confesses his sin and asks Allah for forgiveness, Allah accepts his repentance.' When Allah's Apostle finished his speech my tears ceased completely and there remained not even a single drop of it. I requested my father to reply to Allah's Apostle on my behalf. My father said, By Allah, I do not know what to say to Allah's Apostle.' I said to my mother, 'Talk to Allah's Apostle on my behalf.' She said, 'By Allah, I do not know what to say to Allah's Apostle.

My sickness was aggravated, and when I returned home, Allah's Apostle came to me, and after greeting he said, 'How is that (girl)?' I requested him to allow me to go to my parents. I wanted then to be sure of the news through them I Allah's Apostle allowed me, and I went to my parents and asked my mother, 'What are the people talking about?' She said, 'O my daughter! Don't worry much about this matter. By Allah, never is there a charming woman loved by her husband who has other wives, but the women would forge false news about her.' I said, 'Glorified be Allah! Are the people really taking of this matter?' That night I kept on weeping and could not sleep till morning. In the morning Allah's Apostle called Ali bin Abu Talib and Usama bin Zaid when he saw the Divine Inspiration delayed, to consul them about divorcing his wife (i.e. 'Aisha). Usama bin Zaid said what he knew of the good reputation of his wives and added, 'O Allah's Apostle! Keep you wife, for, by Allah, we know nothing about her but good.' 'Ali bin Abu Talib said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Allah has no imposed restrictions on you, and there are many women other than she, yet you may ask the woman-servant who will tell you the truth.' On that Allah's Apostle called Buraira and said, 'O Burair. Did you ever see anything which roused your suspicions about her?' Buraira said, 'No, by Allah Who has sent you with the Truth, I have never seen in her anything faulty except that she is a girl of immature age, who sometimes sleeps and leaves the dough for the goats to eat.' On that day Allah's Apostle ascended the pulpit and requested that somebody support him in punishing 'Abdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. Allah's Apostle said, 'Who will support me to punish that person ('Abdullah bin Ubai bin Salul) who has hurt me by slandering the reputation of my family? By Allah, I know nothing about my family but good, and they have accused a person about whom I know nothing except good, and he never entered my house except in my company.'

Sad bin Mu'adh got up and said, 'O Allah's Apostle! by Allah, I will relieve you from him. If that man is from the tribe of the Aus, then we will chop his head off, and if he is from our brothers, the Khazraj, then order us, and we will fulfill your order.' On that Sad bin 'Ubada, the chief of the Khazraj and before this incident, he had been a pious man, got up, motivated by his zeal for his tribe and said, 'By Allah, you have told a lie; you cannot kill him, and you will never be able to kill him.' On that Usaid bin Al-Hadir got up and said (to Sad bin 'Ubada), 'By Allah! you are a liar. By Allah, we will kill him; and you are a hypocrite, defending the hypocrites.' On this the two tribes of Aus and Khazraj got excited and were about to fight each other, while Allah's Apostle was standing on the pulpit. He got down and quietened them till they became silent and he kept quiet. On that day I kept on weeping so much so that neither did my tears stop, nor could I sleep.

Safwan bin Mu'attal As-Sulami Adh-Dhakwani was behind the army and reached my abode in the morning. When he saw a sleeping person, he came to me, and he used to see me before veiling. So, I got up when I heard him saying, "Inna lil-lah-wa inn a ilaihi rajiun (We are for Allah, and we will return to Him)." He made his camel knell down. He got down from his camel, and put his leg on the front legs of the camel and then I rode and sat over it. Safwan set out walking, leading the camel by the rope till we reached the army who had halted to take rest at midday. Then whoever was meant for destruction, fell into destruction, (some people accused me falsely) and the leader of the false accusers was 'Abdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. After that we returned to Medina, and I became ill for one month while the people were spreading the forged statements of the false accusers. I was feeling during my ailment as if I were not receiving the usual kindness from the Prophet which I used to receive from him when I got sick. But he would come, greet and say, 'How is that (girl)?' I did not know anything of what was going on till I recovered from my ailment and went out with Um Mistah to the Manasi where we used to answer the call of nature, and we used not to go to answer the call of nature except from night to night and that was before we had lavatories near to our houses. And this habit of ours was similar to the habit of the old 'Arabs in the open country (or away from houses). So. I and Um Mistah bint Ruhm went out walking. Um Mistah stumbled because of her long dress and on that she said, 'Let Mistah be ruined.' I said, 'You are saying a bad word. Why are you abusing a man who took part in (the battle of) Badr?' She said, 'O Hanata (you there) didn't you hear what they said?' Then she told me the rumors of the false accusers.

Assalam alaikum,
I read the hadith of Aisha about the slander against herself and found in it important lessons. I would post the hadith first and the lessons afterwards. kindly feel free to comment on any of the lessons or observations.

Sahih Buhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 829:
Narrated Aisha:

(the wife of the Prophet) "Whenever Allah's Apostle intended to go on a journey, he would draw lots amongst his wives and would take with him the one upon whom the lot fell. During a Ghazwa of his, he drew lots amongst us and the lot fell upon me, and I proceeded with him after Allah had decreed the use of the veil by women. I was carried in a Howdah (on the camel) and dismounted while still in it. When Allah's Apostle was through with his Ghazwa and returned home, and we approached the city of Medina, Allah's Apostle ordered us to proceed at night. When the order of setting off was given, I walked till I was past the army to answer the call of nature. After finishing I returned (to the camp) to depart (with the others) and suddenly realized that my necklace over my chest was missing. So, I returned to look for it and was delayed because of that. The people who used to carry me on the camel, came to my Howdah and put it on the back of the camel, thinking that I was in it, as, at that time, women were light in weight, and thin and lean, and did not use to eat much. So, those people did not feel the difference in the heaviness of the Howdah while lifting it, and they put it over the camel. At that time I was a young lady. They set the camel moving and proceeded on. I found my necklace after the army had gone, and came to their camp to find nobody. So, I went to the place where I used to stay, thinking that they would discover my absence and come back in my search. While in that state, I felt sleepy and slept.

this is actually front page material.

For those asking if Islam is the only right path. The answer is 'no'. It is there in the article. Must the op open your head to explain to you. Is it fair that someone who has sincerely done good and sacrificed all their life suffer in hell in the hereafter. One of Allah's names is 'The Just', His judgment will be just.

my dream nikkah would be '3 contradictory' terms; if ever there was anything like that. Simple, cheap, and classy; if that were possible, lol. The extravagant are close to the shayitin.

introspective article, but a little presumptive. Anyway there's a lesson for both genders here. Men should understand that women are complicated creatures of instinct. It is better to give a woman what you perceive she needs rather than what you think 'all' women want. Why would you want to go all romantic on a hood rat when clearly she has other ideas what a man should be like. Too much of everything is bad, and men should learn to strike a balance between being tender and being testosterone driven, selfish, strong, masculine males. Women, appreciate a good man when you find one, the grass is always greener on the outside, communicate your needs effectively to your man, and guide him towards fulfilling those needs.

I really wish the ignorant guys that talk about eating in the morning and at night during the fast would just attempt it only for 1 month. They can then sincerely come back to tell us how easy it was.
May Allah accept the fast of all sincere muslims. Salam alaikum.

Ruchidera: I love moslem way of fasting...
Waking up around 4:00am in the morning only to eat a bowl of pounded yam
with correct ofe egwusi.
I can fast till 9:00pm without feeling hungry be that.
**eku awe to our moslem brothers and sisters*

indeed, we have been allowed to eat because God made the religion easy for us. Particularly important for people that do physically demanding tasks. As such you find most muslims complete the fast in ramadan. Even at that, to complete the fast for a 'lunar month still takes some degree of self discipline. Many Christians don't even know when it is lent.

it's surprising the kind of ignorance one comes across on nairaland at times. I cringed when I saw people advising this lady to leave her husband. for crying out loud she knows already it's a disorder that is not his fault, that's half the problem solved already, the other half is getting him to not affect the kids in the house, or less likely his job, while seeking or attempting to seek professional help of course.
I have to commend the lady in question for being a patient, loving, and devoted wife, may God reward you and your children and husband show you a lot of appreciation. that said 3 years is quite a long time, and if you can last this long you probably will be fine knowing it's not you that has a problem but your husband and the poor dude probably needs you more than you are aware of. he will probably get worse should you leave. many achievers have a degree of OCD, in fact their meticulous work ethic make them excellent employees though difficult bosses and as such they are likely to be able providers as they keep their jobs. they are largely efficient people who were just unfortunate to fall on the extreme end of the spectrum. and you did not tell us about his time keeping habits, or did you forget. wish u and your family the best ma'am.

see:

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don't allow me to call you a moose. Japan, singapore, sweden, Norway, pardon me is this a joke. Those countries are trained in the art of kissing the establishment's behind, especially japan since the bomb. You take yourself too seriously, just plainly overrated.

there was such a time in the Muslim world when those delegated to distribute the zakah found no one to accept it.

Congratulations to the current western economies living a 'first class ticket' in the journey of life lifestyle while most of the rest of the world stay impoverished and wonder why God has been partial to a certain group of people. Those who were feudal lords over a largely poor populace living in darkness and ignorance in the middle ages now have no equals in wealth.
First things first; gain military might, and then establish puppet institutions of control over the whole world, do not forget to include those financial institutions that will control the global economy using complex financial tools, manipulating the gold standard and making your own currency the medium of international trade, baiting poor countries with loans to keep them indebted till eternity. And don't forget to place harsh economic sanctions on those that challenge the status quo.
We seek refuge in you our Lord. You alone we worship, You alone we ask for help.