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A lot of responses here are based on emotions thereby ignoring the trauma of the op.

Anyone who had a toxic parent would understand the reason behind your attitude. An adverse childhood experience breeds a life long traumatic experience.

However, you cannot live in anger and bitterness against your mother all your life. It is not helpful for your health and it could overflow into your marriage. You need to seek for help.

You can send me a mail and I would help you along this line

A psychological assessment of your wife would indicate that she has High Conflict Personality.

People with this Personality:-

Don't reflect on their own behaviour.

Don't have insights about their part in problems.

Don't understand why they behave the way they do.

Don't change their behaviour.

Never seek counseling or any form of real advice.

Will become extremely defensive if someone tells them to change.

Will claim their behaviour is normal and necessary, given the circumstances.

What I would recommend is professional counseling though it's going to be difficult to convince her but that's the only solution.

I advise that you ask him if he's still interested in the marriage rather than assume he wants you back under the same roof. If he says yes, request that both of you see a marriage counselor.

The marriage/family Counsellor will first uncover the reason for the toxicity in your marriage for seven years. That's too long for adjustment in marriage so there must be an underlying reason for it. It could be that some of your attitude contributed to it. If this is not resolved it would erupt again when you begin to live together.

Secondly, he may also just want to relate with you at arms length. Maybe he prefers the distance between you like this and does not want you under his roof while he provides financial support for you and the children.

You'd be surprised that it may be healthier for you to live far away from him.

Counselling would unravel all these and help you both of you to make the right decision for your marriage

You need to see a professional counsellor to help you discover the source of the low self-esteem. Most likely you were exposed to some adverse childhood experiences and the consequences are playing out in adult life. This is not a process that can be explained on a public forum like this.

You can develop the necessary social skills to relate with people and enjoy life abundantly. You only need to ask for help.

Your problem is sex addiction. You need to see a professional counsellor in addiction recovery.
You can call 09013781900