PROUDLY ANAMBRANIAN

An Arab was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. The Arab asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?". The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your robes." The Arab shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!" "Okay, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 4 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want." The Arab thanked him and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Three hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his card table. He said, "I told you, about 4 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?" . The Arab rasped, "I found it. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

A man and his wife never fought for 25yrs of their marriage. A friend asked him how he had managed to make it possible. He narrated,"We went for our Honeymoon in Australia 25years ago, and while riding on a horse, my wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down. She then got up, patted the Horse's back and said'this is your first time'. After a while ,it happened again. She patted the horse again and said'this is your second time". The horse did it again the 3rd time, she brought out a gun and shot the horse dead. I was so shocked and shouted at her,'Are you crazy!!? What's wrong with you!!? Why did you kill the horse?. She gave me a grave look and said'THIS YOUR FIRST TIME". Ever since then we have been living very happily...

EDIBLE CATERING nko Dat one cooks tastier and sexy foods nu

Omo dis break up don become a TOP CASE oooooo
Make we dey watch as d drama unfolds
Soon BUHARI go put mouth

As a Man lost his cheque booklet, He decided to go to the bank after 2 days to report. Here is the conversation between him and the bank manager. Bank manager : But I warned you to be careful with your cheque book because anyone can forge your signature. Man: I am not a fool, I have already signed all the cheques, so they won't have space to forge my signature!

A man and his wife never fought for 25yrs of their marriage. A friend asked him how he had managed to make it possible. He narrated,"We went for our Honeymoon in Australia 25years ago, and while riding on a horse, my wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down. She then got up, patted the Horse's back and said'this is your first time'. After a while ,it happened again. She patted the horse again and said'this is your second time". The horse did it again the 3rd time, she brought out a gun and shot the horse dead. I was so shocked and shouted at her,'Are you crazy!!? What's wrong with you!!? Why did you kill the horse?. She gave me a grave look and said'THIS YOUR FIRST TIME". Ever since then we have been living very happily...

I think I will increase d change i give u guys at roadblocks from #50 to #200



u guys are doing well

mykl01:


It's a general misconception down south.
There are up to 200 tribes in the North, all suffering in the hands of these same people... They are constrained by religion and those who don't share same religion are dying everyday (southern Kaduna, Southern Borno, Adamawa, Taraba, many parts of Bauchi and Plateau. )

I NEVER KNEW THIS
upon thou them b illiterates asin d Fulani's

youngaz:
Yo yo nigga.....a happy new month 2 y'all on Nairaland nd u guyz shuld guess wat?? Mah birthday iz diz month....DILLY DING DILLY DONG!!!!!!

m happy for u

mykl01:


You don't know half the pains the original Hausas are going through in the hands of these people.
I saw it first hand in Jigawa!!

shuu
I thought they are birds of a feather sef

Chief judge I hail
but I think its none of ur biz
Your own MUM UNESS pass

I want to use this medium to wish all NAIRALANDERS a happy new month....
May this month be filled wit joy.. May this month give us a cause to b happy... May we find favour in the eyes of people. ... And we say....

papiforreal:
I'm Hausa but southerners should kill this animal with no mercy.

Fulani herdsmen are illiterate blood sucking demon with no regard for woman life. They don't even spare our people here in the North. To them one cow is more worth than the life of 100 people.

Am impressed
I never see a north man make sense here in NL

Adesiji77:


This doesn't look good at all. lalasticlala, dominique, Mynd44, you need to see this...

http://www.punchng.com/no-one-can-stop-us-grazing-south-fulani-herdsmen/

My broder it does not oo

bt shebi they told us dat change will com.?
let's wait

ammyluv2002:
Agreed


Only in Africa o! If you try am elsewhere OYO is your case

it's like u are a living witness

For dis pics i think d FRSC takes it...
bt generally RESPECT NIGERIAN ARMY in these aspect

People always want to make money... But the main thing is how to earn it...
My peeps can u guys help me wit d top paying jobs in Nigeria..

Am seriously looking for d curves
all I see is a flat surface

shuu they even mercy for una Laaa
dar guy wey wear red fit copy laa. um head don dey stretch

shuu they even mercy for una Laaa
dar guy wey wear red fit copy laa. um head don dey stretch

[b][/b][color=#770077][/color] I think tiwa Savage can contribute to this list

Mouth shut

Everyday is for BOKO bt one day is for naija

bt laptops So dey gt literates sef

Everyday is for BOKO bt one day is for naija

bt laptops So dey gt literates sef

Omo mua no gree ooo

go ur village use HEN swear
or e get my village man wey pple dey use rat shit swear....
if u make it eeee
make am fest

Na wa o! Social media was agog yesterday after Tee Billz dropped some suicide notes on Instagram in which he accused Tiwa Savage of infidelity, witchcraft, pride amongst many vices. After the long rant, the father of her only son- Jamil – was found on Lekki-Ikoyi toll bridge about to commit suicide and was rescued. See Also: I knew my marriage was over since- Tiwa Savage finally speaks out The world awaited a response from the heavily accused Tiwa Savage. We never expected all she said in her exclusive interview with Pulse.ng. Here are 10 shocking facts she revealed about her marriage to Tee Billz which she says is definitely over: They had separated 2 months ago but we were just put in the loop “For the past two months, TJ and I have not been together, it was something we were working through, but I knew this marriage would not work.” Tiwa Savage recently suffered a miscarriage but Tee Billz cared less “Just before I went to Jamaica, I found out that I was pregnant. We were just trying to find out how we were going to manage another baby so soon. I got to London, on a 10-hour flight to shoot a video with Busy Signal (Reggae Artiste). While doing my makeup, I found out I was bleeding and I passed out. I was rushed to the hospital, and we were trying to call TJ to tell him what happened. While we were sleeping at 2 AM a number called him saved as Edible Catering….I checked his phone, and the number was asking him if she can come to his hotel. She responded that He (TJ) knocked her out last night, that he was a great night. I confronted him, and he said he took another woman to the hotel and said they were just chilling. This happened the period I was in Jamaica, and I was in the hospital. I sent TJ pictures, and he was busy with another woman. I was in a hospital and you couldn’t be bothered find out what happened to me. I packed my stuff, took my son and went to my friend’s house, her name is Tiwa also. I stayed the night, and she asked me for the next step, I told her I was done.” See Also: Hian! Tee Billz drops suicide notes. Says Tiwa Savage slept with Tiwa Savage paid the bills while Tee Billz piled up debts “I covered up for so long because I wanted people to believe that TJ is the one that takes care of me…TJ has not spent one Naira, I paid for hospital bills, his flight, his accommodation, we also went shopping for TJ so that he will have new things. His excuse was that Í don’t have money’. I had to pay for everything so that he can go out and hustle, and get the contracts. He didn’t have money for diapers, but he had money to have a bi-weekly haircut, had money to pay for his laundry, had money to take a woman to the hotel… A week ago I told TJ that we were running out of Jamil’s food, but he didn’t do nothing. He went to buy a car, a Mercedes that he knew that he didn’t have the money for it. The person kept up calling that he wants the balance. I ended up paying the balance of over 3M. When it was time to pay, I put the money in his account, so they don’t know I was the person paying for it. He also bought a Rolex, and didn’t pay the balance.” Tee Billz has a pending case against him by the EFCC ” I just found out that EFCC was investigating a case against him, and my brother called me from London and confirmed it that TJ is in deep trouble, and that some people might hurt him, that I should be careful. In my frantic mode to try and suppress this situation I went to one of my big bros who can help… I have been searching for N45M so that they don’t kill him, so that the EFCC does not carry him.” See Also: Tee Billz allegedly found on Lekki-Ikoyi toll bridge after deleting suicide notes on Instagram Tiwa Savage not only cooks for Tee Billz but also hired a cook for him “His cooking allegations is a lie. I am not going to say because of my career that I am not going to cook. I work long hours to put money in the house, I work to make sure that we have a roof over our house. I come back home really late, and when I make something for myself, I make some for TJ. I had to hire a cook to cook for me, him and the other people that live in the house, I don’t think that is wrong…Even if it is true, the things he puts me through will not even encourage me to ask him if he is hungry.” Tiwa Savage sacked Tee Billz as her manager after she discovered he was stealing her money ” The first time I found out that there was foul play was when he booked me for a wedding in London. I have to be paid before I perform. I called one of the organisers, and said I have not been paid. He said that the show has been paid four months ago, he showed me the account were they paid him. TJ declared that the show was for 3M but they really paid 4.5M, out of the 3M he was still receiving the management fee 40%. He took money already, and collected his percentage, and he didn’t feel anything. He was stealing from his wife. I had to perform at the wedding for free. I do get to perform for free when he takes my money.” Tiwa Savage did not sleep with Don Jazzy, Dr Sid or Tuface “I have never cheated on my husband. Not with Don Jazzy, Dr Sid, 2face Idibia or anybody. I have never cheated on my husband, and Tunji knows this. He knows that in his heart.” See Also: Nigerians react to Tee Billz and Tiwa Savage’s marriage drama Tiwa once caught Tee Billz sniffing cocaine “I walked in on TJ taking cocaine in my house in 1004 (Victoria Island, Lagos). I didn’t even know he takes cocaine. I walked into the kitchen, and I saw him taking cocaine, so I screamed, and asked if that is cocaine. He started screaming that ‘What am I doing down here, where is the cocaine?’ How can someone without money take cocaine? I called his parents and complained that I can deal with weed, but cocaine, no.” Tee Billz has a Secret Child by an unknown baby mama in Nigeria “Before marriage, Idin’t know of his third child in Nigeria. A lot of people warned me about him, but I am going to say I made a mistake.” Tee Billz and Tiwa’s marriage is over “ The marriage is finally over, it’s been over for a while, and I have covered up for a while. What happened was God-sent, and he made it easier for me to walk away with what he did on social media. He got so many people angrier, he pulled so many innocent people into this. Even his family. He made it easy for me to finally up and walk away.” This is really sad indeed. Do you think Tee Billz will reply with more shocking revelations? We watch as this drama unfolds.

psure:

See my own kwa?
Sorry, I don't buy cheap dress to cover my rich and expensive body. Now geraraHere mehn!

EXPENSIVE z an understatement
bt na when u grow old u go undastand

oya see am if na Biafra now e for don reach news he for don give other



FOO LISH PEOPLE Continue deceiving them.not me

psure:


Not at all ... I just don't like people messing up good dress with a childish attitude

Bad belle
make i see ur own naa

Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this my guy. A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him. At about12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks... the Wife tells him "go sleep where your coming from " and the man answered" I'm not here to sleep my dia , I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me, there'r lots of women at the party!" The wife opened the door and said "idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.

For me to stop eating LEAF MOI MOI






NO WAY..!!!!!!!!!

The Lille man has been named among the crème of shot stoppers in Europe for the 2015/16 season by the CIES Football Observatory Former Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama has been named among the top 10 goalkeepers in Europe for the 2015/16 season by the Swiss-based CIES Football Observatory. The ranking was done taking into account the number of goals conceded per match, number of minutes per goal, number of passes per match, number of saves per match, number of saves per goal conceded and the percentage of saves. The 33-year-old finished in sixth place behind illustrious goalkeepers like Manuel Neuer of Bayern Munich, Jan Oblak of Atletico Madrid, Gianluigi Buffon of Juventus, Kevin Trapp of PSG and Claudio Bravo of Barcelona. Coming behind Enyeama on the list are Tottenham’s Hugo Lloris, Alphonse Areola of Villareal, Keylor Navas of Real Madrid and Pepe Reina of Napoli in the list of 10. The Nigerian missed out on winning silverware with Lille this season as they lost 2-1 to PSG in Saturday’s French Cup final. Enyeama’s illustrious international career came to an abrupt end last year when he announced his retirement after a publicized fall out with former Nigeria coach Sunday Oliseh. He earned a record 101 caps with the Super Eagles and won the 2013 Africa Cup of Nations title.