₦airaland Forum

Danzakidakura:
@op Christians are united all over Nigeria , pls stop spreading rubbish how many Christians have you seen throwing bomb inside a fellow Christian church. pls get your fact right Christianity is the uniting force. we are united, when you talk of religion.

Christians are naturally very tolerant people, so they must not slaughter each other of throw bombs in order to quarrel, that does not mean they are united. How many national christian unions do u see functionning well in all of Nigeria?
Do you dispute the quoted below?

SpicyJosBabe:
Igbo and Yoruba christians seem to never agree on anything but tribal differences, Southern Christians completely disregard Middlebelt and Northern christians. Catholics never want to do anything together with Pentecostals or Anglicans, other christians abhor Jehovah's witnesses. Everyone is feeling superior over the other. Will this madness ever be overcomed?
The CAN is divided today because Northern/Middlebelt christian leaders felt cheated and discriminated and nobody seems to care?

loshybab:
Ebira.....and who ar the alagos?


That's xtreme,we aint talking about typical villager/ elite here coz a villager from d state/town u gave above rely on the hearsays of the opposite tribe nd not frm d xperience he had while living or mingling wt dem.that's y I rarely xchange words wt some1 I knw lived among his tribesmen alone or among a very few of other tribes who became settlers.

You cnt blame young people/urban dwellers wen dey consider religion ova culture coz we ar increasingly becomin more sensitive to religious issues coz of what history hs tot us....will u blame them? I don't think so!

Are u ebira?
Alagos are the largest or 2nd largest tribe of Nasarawa state.

What do u think history has thought us that will make us to lean towards religion than culture more?

theDEVILisHERE:
You people have to stop this crap about "Southern" whatever

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE SUCH NONSENSE!!

As 4 unity
listen and listen good!!

Igbo's as well as those of d Eastern region have nothing in common with descendants of killers, genocidist ,vagabonds and bastards who have there dirty hand soiled with the blood of innocent Igbo's as well those of the Eastern region

The so called idiotic Christians joined hands with jihadist and their diabolical evil slave masters the British to commit polgrom and genocide against people who did nothing to them

They killed and massacred innocent man, woman and children in their cities of Jos, Makurdi, kafanchan etc

You then expect Igbo's to unite with such decendants of killers and degenerates?

Do you think Igbo's are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or you want Igbo's to unite with diabolical Shungo/Ogun worshiping, fraudulently deciving, camouflagingly pretending so called Christians who use diabolical/occultic means to deceive idiots into coming into those shrines they called church

Not gonna happen!!

Oh my God. I really don't know where to start replying you from. We indeed really have bitter pasts and no one is a saint either.
I myself personally blamed middlebelt christians for attacking Igbo civillians during the civil war, but what could they have done differently?
When the Igbos perpetrated their coup, they killed middlebelt leaders too, they never differentiated northern christians from northern muslims and during the period when igbos were retaliating they also killed northern christians too in Aba, Onitsha e.t.c even Igalas and Idomas who are related to igbos were not spared either. Biafran forces attacked Kogi and Benue communities.
In 2006 when Igbos were retaliating the killings of their kinsmen by hausas in the core north (Kano riots), northern christians were not spared in Aba.
Igbos declared war on the whole of Nigeria and not Hausa land alone during the civil war, Biafran troops attacked midwestern (Edo/Delta) christians too or didn't they?
I don't really want to continue bringing up past and buried bitter differences because it will do us no good my brother. There are nations all over the world today who had terrible differences in the past but today are managing unity and friendship in order to achieve common goals or where their interests are alligned.

Likewise, talking about characters, are you trying to tell us that igbos have the best, most pure, sincere, godly and lovely people in Nigeria? Be real my friend.

mensdept:
And for the OP you see why you are wasting your time....Igbo people have been more for one Nigeria than any other group among the Christians, but everyone else from North and West don't believe in one Nigeria. All they believe is the resources from the East to be shared and then rent rooms and tariffs at ports in Lagos to Igbo/easterners

How can u say such a thing? Your people are the ones calling for Biafra. I am from the middlebelt and i for one support rescource control. Oil has been a curse to us.
Do u know that before independence, the tin and columbite minning in Jos generated the largest National income in the minning sector of the country? But all of that has gone down the drain today.

Nowenuse:
I think Igbos and their tribalism are the reason why Nigerian christian unity is impossible.

How do u mean?

efficiencie:
on 1; A great man of marriage age is not deterred by the dowry rather he is deterred by the absence of great women...and ignoble men are not deterred by the dowry as long as the selfish gain extracted from marriage exceeds the price of the dowry...So either way, ladies that become nuns become so because they have nothing to offer a great man or an ignoble man!

on 2; The so called whites today have delinquency levels that rivals those of some developing countries. This may appear paradoxical but it is not because delinquency and immorality is what results when who believe that anything that causes uneasiness must be removed...in the words of Friedrich Nietsche 'whatever does not kill you, makes you stronger' shows that some uneasiness is needed for strength, balance and harmony! Men and women who love unfettered freedom cannot keep marriages irrespective of their racial affiliations. Divorces happen in Africa, but they are frowned at but divorces happen in the West and it is not seen as a big deal...

on 3; Great women all over the world do not strive at equality...because equality makes you a copy of what you strive to be equal to. Great western women are where they are today because they availed the institutional advances of their time towards empowering themselves. So it is not about laws alone, it is about institutions and i assure you that women alone did not fight for the institutional advancement of the West, as you allude to, rather progressive people - men and women - fought for it. If educational institutions in Africa are revamped, both women and men will be better for it and today in Nigeria it is clear that there are women who do not strive for equality but are movers and shakers in their respective fields of endeavor simply because they had some education.

on 4; That is one case, in millions of marriage cases. You seriously will not judge marriages as a whole on the basis of a single case. That that woman in your example married a beast does not mean that all women got married to a beast! There are men that went through a lot worse but were ready to endure it all to have their wife because they saw value in their wife that vastly outweighed the "peanuts" they were paying as a bride price and to cover the wedding ceremony. I do not mean to insult your religious disposition but i advice you to get a bible and read Proverbs 31;10-31 and tell me which sane man will not give up anything of monetary worth to get such a wife?

on 5; Its unfortunate but the truth is that while some women suffer, some other women are having crazy fun! You gave an example, I will give you one too. The wife of the general overseer of the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries, Shade Olukoya, taught an audience of young people and made them realize that often she stands in the mirror and look at herself wondering what made her so special to be worthy of her husband. According to her, her husband was the cream of men. Despite having the wait long for their first child, she recounts all the great things her husband did for her, with her and through her! The woman must be in her early 60s now but she looks young and radiant thanks to the peace and harmony that reigns in her home - and not the exotic make ups that mask the true emotions of most women!

My dear, there are men and there are men...some men are noble and some others are beasts. If you find a noble man you as a woman will gladly, willingly and happily surrender your all to him knowing that he will be your lover, your father, your guardian, your defender, your counselor, your teacher and your baby! But when you get stuck in the hands of a beast then you will seek to be equal to men, seek total independence and nurse wounds for a very long time...

So i say once again, the bride price is not the problem but the character of men and women in conjugal relationships is the problem!

Great explanation.

What you are saying in essence is that everything depends on the individuals involved irrespective of whatever laws of the land. Hmm. You are not wrong with your summary on this issue, likewise i won't say you are 100% right.
The laws of a land or society to a large extent is what shapes peoples minds, actions and thoughts, but that doesn't mean that there will be no exceptions.
For instance in a place like Saudi Arabia where most of their laws are against women's right, it would be normal for most men in that society to see women as inferior beigns or second class citizens but that does not mean that there will be no men in that place who place true value on women and don't see them as inferior or mere commodities, just that they will be in a minority because the laws of the land have programmed the minds of most of the the men from the beginning to see women as inferior and only a fewer percentage of men would be able to defer such accepted/customary way of reasoning. I don't know if you are getting me?

shukudi:
atiku nd titi(ogun) abubakar. IBB nd mariam(delta). Gabriel nd yemisi(oyo) suswan. Ebonyi state police commissioner. Nyako nd his 1st wife(enugu). Muritala muhamed nd ajoke(ogun). Amodu ali nd his igbo wife. Isha Yuguda nd 1st wife(yoruba).

Hmm, this is serious. I did not get the part of the Ebonyi state police commissioner. Which Amodu Ali are u talking of? Are you for real that Nyako's first wife is an igbo woman? Full one or half? Did she convert to islam or maintained christianity? Just curious.

shukudi:
bola's mum is a christian. She attends Winners.

Yeah, i can see that Bola definitely followed her mother's religion over her fathers. It really seems like in most cases the children end up following their mother's religion if both parents are from different religions. Haven't you noticed that?

loshybab:
What's that close thing to being a yoruba muslim pls? I'm curious to know.

Meanwhile,interreligious marriage in the south is chiefly practiced by half-baked faithfuls of both religions or products of confused interreligious marriages or family background,which I earlier said.
On the other point,it's easier said and done to blend different racial/cultural background together than that of religion. This is because d differences between mst cultures/tribes dt intermarry can be easily overlooked over time but not religious differences.
I repeat,there are striking differences between xtianity and islam and those diffs are best respected than merged for peaceful co-existence.

Edo muslims and Middlebelt muslims (igala, ibira, Nupe, Alago e.t.c) are close.


You have a point. Religious differences seem to be more conspicuous in this generation but this is only mostly among the younger people and urban dwellers, but among the elderly/ middle aged people and rural people, many still prefer a traditional union over a religious union

There is no way you can tell me that a typical native yoruba woman from one Ibadan village will prefer to marry one typical hausa mallam from Zamfara state over her fellow typical yoruba christian just because she is a muslim.....no no. Culture means more to some ppl.

telemapreye1:
Where are you from?

Jos

abuayman:
Nairalanders. This my assignment to yhu all this morning. no Ashawo tok for here

It looks like magic

vowsng:
these pple dey cheat us oh, make them do manufacture artificial pu**y for us nah, Vaseline don tire person.

There are masturbators for men that look real i think.

loshybab:
@ur last paragraph!
Nah nah nah!
I,for one cannot support nd wl neva hv a part in inter-religious marriages! It only breeds confused children whom might nt get d doctrines of any religion nd later end up bcoming religion nuisances
Call a spade what it is, christianity is DIFFERENT fron islam! But I so mch adore the d intertribal thingy!
If only I can end up marrying one of those Aishas,Maryams.Umyrahs from d core north;Dhow sweet would that be?

By your comment, i guess you should be a yoruba muslim or something close. Interreligious marriages are quite common in your part of the country.

If you say that interreligious marriages bring about religiously confused children, why do u feel that intertribal marriage will not bring about tribally confused children?

Fidelismaria:
Forkin Northerners My Dog No Fit Marry Dem

jamislaw:
who will give his daughter to a dog eater dirty p**g asshole like you. our girls are pure and clean than the pit holes muder fucker you have over there.

The both of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
This is why some Nigerians feel that this country can never be united as one and hence should be divided.

Murtala Nyako did worse than James Ngilari in Adamawa state but they have left Nyako because he is their muslim brother. God will punish them all. Religious fanatics.

MadCow1:
Hausa and Fulani Muslim women can't be prostitutes..

Borno people are not hausas nor fulanis by tribe. They are mostly Kanuri, Shuwa arab, Bura, Marghi, Kyibaku e.t.c by tribes.

Adaezeagu:
who hold your mouth from ranting?

Only barbarians, uncivilized people and demented tribalists live such a lifestyle.

Am really feeling for Nnamdi. Even though am not igbo i dont really support this.

U see. If it was Prof Chinedu Chukwuka, we will not sleep this night because of rantings and screamings from our jewish brothers. Now they are silent.
Tribalism is a curse to the black race.

missKiffy:
It's only insecure men that see their wife as a property which he bought, for some their wife is their strength, their everything, they don't see them as a property, so we shouldn't say because of some insecure weakling we should abolish our culture

You have a point my dear, but let me take you through a little history. Europeans had to abolish any form of payment over marriage because for the part of dowry payment, many parents started sending their daughters to convents to become nuns just to be able to escape dowry payment which they deemed as a source of financial extortion, but hey, that did not mean that there were no responsible families who could afford the dowry payment and carry out everything in a right way. That is just the difference between white people and black people. Anything they see as an impediment to the easiness of people's lives no matter how small the affected population is, they are quick to take actions, but africans will never as long as the culture favours a group of people.
Today white women are enjoying a higher status in their society and social equality, these were the kind of laws they fought for in the past that took them to where they are today.


I have come across a woman who was seriously maltreated in her marriage by her husband, she said that one reason why she finds it hard to take steps against him is because she usually remembers all that the man had to go through under her family just to pay her bride price, how he was extorted by her father and uncles to perform a very big ceremony, that she just cannot afford to jeorpadize all that or threaten her marriage. Just imagine, she felt bounded to stand up to her rights just because of that.

My mother told me that when she was getting married, her father told her never to come back to his house for any reason because he will chase her away as she now belongs to her husband as long as he performed all the rites (payment of bride price) to acquire her hand in marriage. Just imagine. Things like this are what make our women suffer endlessly and endure all manners of pain in marriage without any option.

this is the point i am trying to pass across.

passionate88:
Nigerian feminists are just bunch of noise makers.

@spicyjosbabe if you believe that payment of bride price makes the man to disrespect the woman, then tell your parents and relatives not to demand for your own when you want to get married. Or better still refund to your husband if you're already married. As for me I feel this marriage of a thing in Nigeria is jus too overrated and it's becoming useless.

I may really not have the power to influence my parents decisions, but i will start with myself, my sibblings and peers. Whatever the man pays will be refunded to him or he can give whatever he likes, then both families will contribute equally for the ceremonies. Enough of the selling of women in the name of marriage. How can a man be billed hundreds of thousands to millions for a wife excluding the expenses of the ceremonial celebrations accompanying?

efficiencie:
@spicyjosbabe, the act of paying the bride price is not the reason for men considering women a piece of commodity bought, so to say, in the market rather it is the attitudinal disposition of those men to social relationships generally, not just to marriage.

You cited the example of the West, but i assure you that there is no scarcity of men, in the West, who think their wives are not different from a piece of furniture. There are countless examples of men and women whose marriages are centered on the economics and not love or anything related to it. Most women marry for financial security and not necessarily due to the need for love, belonginess and partnership while most men marry to simply to add to their stock of possessions and when their 'marital stock', who in this case is their wife, becomes rusty and out-of-fashion they throw it in the trash can of life and seek another addition to their stock!

So even if bride prices were abolished, i assure you that rich narcissists will still see their wives as a commodity that is meant to be used, used thoroughly and later traded over a bottle of beer!

May i add that the bride price does not necessarily reflect the value of the woman being married rather it is a gift given to the father of the would-be wife to relinquish authority over the would-be wife in favor of the would-be husband and in addition the bride price has more spiritual connotations than physical and that is why it is easy to be blind to the rationale for the bride price!

So @Spicyjosbabe, you will be doing your would-be hubby a huge favor by getting pregnant for him and moving in with him to his apartment and by so doing helping him skip the hurdle of a bride price...but note that this does not guarantee he will subscribe to your obvious feminist tendencies...and it is highly likely he'll see you as another piece of equipment in the house that would soon be consigned to the junkyard...

My advice: if you must be a feminist...avoid getting married at all, with or without a bride price!

You were making sense in the post initially, only for you to spoil everything.

@Bolded, the bride price does not reflect the value of the woman in the real sense of it but the minds of most ppl have been changed in that aspect, that is why it is very common to hear African men say words like ''for a woman whom i paid for'' always stressing on the money they spent for the marriage. What does that signify?
Imagine spending up to a million naira on bride price of a woman, after then you automatically have this feeling of a succesful purchase.

Just for the records, being a feminist is not synonymous with singleness, there are feminists who are succesfully married.
For the fact that i talked about the abolition of bride price payment does not mean that a wedding ceremony cannot be performed and other rites of the wedding performed without necessarily the financial extortion from the man. Only a crazy woman will just start cohabiting with a man and giving birth to children. Marriage union is not recognized anywhere without a legal or traditional occasion.
Before the law and all other international jurisdiction systems all over the world, a couple legally wedded by the court with a court wedding certificate is more recognized and legal than a couple with only pictures and memories of traditionally unnecesary and wasteful jamboree.

Tolexander:
too bad!

This man needs being castrated as an only punishment.

The innocent girl looks like she isn't moved(probably enjoyed it).

How can u say such a thing? Does she know anything? Gosh

missKiffy:
It's our culture, why should we abolish it

because of it's disadvantages, one of which is the fact which it makes it look like the woman is now a property of the man which he bought

Suspectzero:
Maybe the women too should get some sense and

1) Have your own job and the means to sustain yourself

2) Know the kind of guy you are marrying before taking the plunge

Other women would of course be here defending the bride price because women love money being spent on them even though they claim to be independent. They really aren't Forever dependents is what most of them are.

This is the sad truth. U are correct

I am really falling in love with this man called FAYOSE. I love you sir. You are an example to the other useless governors in the south and middlebelt.

asuo27:
One benefit.
Check the mentality of men who didn't drop a penny on their wives head as bride price and check that of those who did.
Those who didn't don't value their women.

Those who did not drop any money are not legally married, they did not go to court, neither did they perform any ceremony of any sort, such people are cohabiting. Nobody who was serious about marriage in the first place will not value his spouse.

Wonderful

TrapQueen77:
About India... Tatz true... In India women are the one paying the dowry ...so when couples don't have enough wealth or living below middle class, mothers chose to abort their unborn baby if it's a girl.

My dear, that problem affected the whole world and not just India, imagine tens of millions of women are missing in the world today, the gender population balance has been upset just because of this culture of India and worse of some of these girls are murdered at birth, some are buried alive or poisoned to death, infact when i read about this issue, i was not myself for about a week.
With this kind of barbaric cultures, tell me why such a country will not continue to remain backwards.

asuo27:
And after the Europeans abolished Dowry and Bride price payment, what then is on the table?...prenuptial agreement. Plz!, leave our culture for us, u want men to just take women home and start raising kids?.

They should make bride price uniform in all tribes which must be reduced to the barest minimum.

What do you mean by men just taking women home? Other cultural arrangements could be made which will center on blessings from the parents on both sides.
Bride price payment is a backward culture, it has no benefit of any sort. If u know one benefit, just mention one, so as to support your stance.

ammyluv2002:
I don't agree with you

Why dont u agree with me?

The Europeans abolished Dowry and Bride price payment in the middle ages due to the destructive effects it had on their society and today things are better for them. Why must Africa/3rd world nations be different?
India is working towards the abolition of dowry payment because tens of millions of females have been killed at birth or in the womb over the decades by their own parents who are afraid of loosing their wealth by dowry payment for their daughter's future wedding.

This culture is the one reason why there can never be gender equality in Africa as long as it looks like the man paid for his wife or bought her with his money.

I have heard some men say things like, ''my wife must do whatever i say without objection because i paid her bride price'', ''my wife cannot be disinterested in sex whenever i am interested because i paid for it''. The woman cannot say anything because that is somehow the truth.
With words like this, i begin to wonder if marriage is another form of slavery in Africa.
This is what feminists should stand up against.