Lol, you have a lot of courage. I couldn't be courageous enough to look my man in the eye, smile and then be mean to him.

Can't stand insensitive men though.

lynpetra:


Thank you!That's one thing about love issue that I doubt.Because I have actually liked some persons and then,I wake up one morning and begins to feel disgusted!just like I keep reminding my dates,there is a tiny string between love and hate,I switch very easily.At that point,our compatibility is questioned.

Yeah, because love and hate have the same level of intensity.

I totally agree that we Must choose to love. Choosing to love makes you see those faults and overlook them. There will be times in a marriage when you just want to stop seeing that annoying face but you recall you have made a choice and if you have integrity, you'll keep your promise.

fluxbush: Another couple I know were mutually in love. They did everything and went everywhere together. They were never ashamed to profess their love to anyone. She was perfect for him in everything except her temperament. She brought out the demons in him. They played out the script in Eminem's 'I love the way you lie'. Always fighting and making up thereafter. He put up with her for a long time until the day she burnt all his certificates. They were in love but definitely not compatible.

I like you, you have got humor. You know, love brings out the best in you for your partner. Like someone pointed in one of the posts, love brings out compatibilty. So love can help you develop a character you never had just to be in synch with the one you love. Couples may have chemistry, that is not the same as love. I feel this generation face a great challenge- they do not understand love in its entirety.

lynpetra: Like I always emphasize,I just need 30% love to marry my man.the remaining percent goes to compatibility.Besides am the kind that gradually falls in love with a man after knowing him for a long time,so at this point,a man's character is what I seek for before having any feelings for him at all.I don't love stupid men.


Spicy v,you are totally correct.

at you don't love silly men. Character is key oh. Have you noticed how someone who was initially physically attractive loses that attraction once you detect an appaling defect in their character?

fluxbush: A friend of mine was deeply in love with another mutual friend of ours. When I say love,I mean the type seen in Indian movies(the kind we call mumu love over here in Nigeria). He loved her so much that he tolerated all her excesses,and trust me,there were many. She was never considerate,caring,respectful etc. She went as far as insulting his homies when they came visiting. Still,he stuck with her. As the years went by,he became unhappy and depressed and it even affected his psyche. To save himself,he had to call it quits with her,and she didn't bat an eyelid when he broke it off. Back to the question, there was love but the two just weren't compatible.

Have you considered the angle that it really wasn't a lack of compatibility that kept them apart? Yes there was love but not from both ends! I mean, in a realationship, both parties MUST feel love towards each other and practise it to keep the fire burning. In your friends case, only one party managed that responsibility.

tpacalipse: Love is when you watch your back at all times. It is when u understand that not all that gliters is gold. It is when you don't get surprised when your partner deals you a wrong card, but prepared to counter her moves. It is when u understand that official businesses and documents are kept away from spouses. Love is when you know your level and limits, and stick to that range.

Seems more like bondage to me. Love is trust, it is devoid of suspicion and free of revenge because it really does forgive. Love is deep mehn, that's why it's rare.

2s£xy:
Good debate. I will be back for spice up this topic.

Hey ya, good to see ya.

@Djtm: really cool insight.
Love surely grows.

eye4eye: @op, compartibility and love goes hand in hand.

I share same thoughts with you on this.

addictiv: i think thats why arranged marriage works better..........your level of expectation on the person is less and you tolerate and accormodate more...........love is a choice believe it or not.

I agree with you, we choose to love. But then, arranged marriages haven't ceased to take place. Modernisation calls it "blind date", and the divorce rates are still climbing. So, arranged marriages wouldn't even work better in these times because we will blame the failure of the marriage on the fact that it was arranged.

I like your perspective on matters of the heart.

Your angle confirms my conclusion that the older generation did not really have a lack of love in their marriages, infact it is the recent generation that have a twisted understanding of what love is.

philfearon:
Yeah....but there's more.

That's the basics. Are you asking for the availability of a perfect man or the readiness of a man for marriage?

sexkillz: No it doesn't.

Lol It does, did you read the part that says love is about sacrifice and ...?

onlyme07: Mama said .... It's all about UNDERSTANDING. 98% of love we see is usually based on something,

Can you seperate understanding from love? Love seeks to understand. I think.

sexkillz: What is love to you?

Well, my earlier post captures my definition of love.

A man is ready fro marriage when:

He has a plan for his life

He has a source of income

He has his OWN apartment

He can make sound decisions for himself and on behalf of another adult.

Boll2010: Marriage is for hating eachother at the long run.......d best is remain single n give birth

That is dysfunctional thinking and if you do not discard that line of thought pattern you'd raise dysfunctional kids and the end result is a dysfunctional society!

What happened to you?

Hmmm, deep stuff. So, do you think our parents had love? Was it love that kept them?

Is love gradually becoming extinct? Why the high rate of divorce then?

Well, a lot of factors must be considered in categorising a woman as a good wife and I dare say that being industrious is a basic factor.

An industrious woman will support the man to achieve his dreams whilst never losing sight of her own dreams. I think that is the most important aspect of a successful relationship.

But then, can there be love without compatibility? I think a lot of people confuse attraction for love! You know attraction is a strong force/feeling. Maybe our parents actually had love! Lol

Maybe the younger generation truly do not understand love

So, I was part of a debate centered on the aforementioned topic and thought to share it with a wider public.

Some argued that in the days of our fathers (marriages in the early 70s and above) marriage was not on the basis of love but compatibility hence, the almost non existent divorce practice. Our parents married their partners because they were the right team mates; each member of the team understood their roles and thus came together with that understanding.

However, the new generation marry for love and that in itself is too insignificant a reason to choose to spend the rest of your life with another. And, this is why there are higher divorce rates!

Now, I wonder; was/is this really the case? Is love truly not strong enough to sustain a marriage? Is love not about sacrifices and accepting the entirety of another person? Is love not about adding value to another and assisting another to be all they are meant to be? If love is all of these, is it not strong enough to keep the couple together in the storm?

I also wonder, was it really compatibility that kept our parents together? Or was it the fear of the opinions of society? The stigma of divorce? And were they really happy? If they (especially the women) really had a choice, would they remain?

Your thoughts. Which is the most suitable reason for one to get married and which would sustain a marriage?

Popowaa: It's happens everyday to young boys,But hw will somebdy knw if u dont talk.Unlike the female girl whose own can be detected easily.When u are molested by older women these boys shd talk instead of been mute cos it goes a long way to destroy this children in the future and innocent girls suffer for this

How did you arrive at the assumption that abuse in female children is easily detected unlike the male kids?

Most children will not talk for several reasons:

The abuser is highly respected, feared and trusted.

They have been manipulated by the abuser, through gifts or bullied to silence.

You shouldn't expect the child to talk if you haven't given them proper orientation on sexual matters.

The best way of detecting is by observing changes in the child's attitude. For instance, a once boisterous child will suddenly become reserved ( and ignorant parents will assume the child to have changed for good).

@ Chanchitt, it's quite easy for you to say all of that because you are ignorant of the extent of psychological damage caused by sexual abuse to children.

All adults who are sexual addicts or have a perverse, twisted attituted towards sex have been sexually abused as children. FACT!

Parents owe it to their wards to be protective of them and educate them, giving them proper sexual orientation from age two! I learnt from a specialist of sex orientation that children are sexually active from age two . We parents must therefore not give room to nonchalance towards our wards.

@Kerrilyyz: I feel sad at what you went through, not just the act of abuse but the fact that you couldn't share nor confide in anyone! That's the killing aspect! I implore you to open yourself to counselling and indepth mind renewing techniques.

Like you rightly said, you are you, yourself and Celinasings! I am glad that you have reached a wise decision after a necessary realisation of self.

All that matters is finding YOU and doing YOU, because shaping your whole life after someone else' destiny is not only limiting yourself but restricting you to being number two.

BTW, you do not look like Genny, you look like the beautiful Cellina and you rock as Cellina the singer.

A reputable organisation with interests in real estate and a not for profit arm(NGO) located at the Central Business District, Abuja seeks to recruit dynamic and efficient staff with an amazing attitude to work in the following positions:

Admin/Finance: Must have NO LESS than 2YEARS relevant experience in the same position. Must be a detailed oriented individual with strong analytical skills and efficient administrative skills.

Program Officer: Must have worked in the same capacity with an NGO for at least 2YEARS.

Business Development/Marketing: Must be proactive with a can do attitude. Strong passion for the job role with core entrepreneurial spirit. Should have at least 2years experience in similar position and a track record of outstanding success.

If you are the ideal candidate, kindly forward your detailed and up to date resume to gofanigeria@gmail.com. Deadline is 12pm Friday the 11th of October 2013.

expert1: LOGO is IMPORTANT. However, don't forget that there is a different between Logo and the Brand.
I observe that you are a graphic designer but you made some mistakes in the logo you created and the mistake is the tone color you used as background.
Lastly, could you please explain the concept behind your logo?

You really cannot seperate your logo from your brand because your logo plays an integral aspect of portraying your brand! Your logo communicates your brand.

Also, I thought his design on the logo was so terrific, it even explains the nature of the business. The bow design clearly reveals its an apparel business. The first logo is not only weird but also confusing and the design hurts the eye! It basically screams amateur!

Ruky looks different, "horrifickly" different! Her skin tone aint even any more, knuckles are multicoloured and the feet looks like she is wearing a black panty hose except I can see her toenails oh my sweet Ruky what have you done to yerself? And I hate the variation in color between the hair and eyebrows

May the souls of the departed rest in peace.

Op, I feel your pain and the anger you experience from feeling abused and unappreciated. However, I can't help but wonder if your anger is not misplaced. I mean, you have clearly stated that the tellers are support/non-professional/contract staff, how you or anyone should expect the same terms of contract/employment benefits amongst staff on different pedastal is amusing.

The situation is not peculiar to banks alone! In the telecomms industry, support staff such as call center, DO NOT enjoy the same benefits with core staff! Infact, NO industry or even organisation permits the same benefits to all staff inspite of their designation! Yes, staff treatment is on the basis of designation. This is why you have terms of employment. Also, if you are not satisfied with the kind of benefits accrued to staff within the category of support/contract, the ideal thing to do is work on upgrading yourself to becoming a core/full time staff!

I sympathize with you regarding some of the inhumane treatment you have received, but expecting to be seen as the same or to receive the same benefit with the core staff is NOT realistic. This is because, you will NOT get the same benefit because you work hard or do your job well, but because your designation is upgraded. Industries have HR standards and practices, it will do you a lot of good if you understood that which is obtainable in yours or your organization so as not to have unrealistic expectations.

I know people who start as contract staff and equipp themselves to qualify for core staff and were not denied the promotion! So, as earlier stated, I think that in your pain you have failed to focus on the issues that need to be addressed and misplaced your anger. This may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth!

If a contract staff wants to be treated like a core staff, find out the price to pay and pay it! If a resident wants expertraite treatment, work the necessary work required to becoming one! Expecting the same treatment when you haven't or aren't willing to pay the required price is VERY unrealistic.

Oh yeah! I totally get your point and now that I do, I kinda not only agree with your perspective but really like it.

Wish you the best as you relentlessly pursue your dreams.

Btw, are you based in Abj? Do you have any "joint" you think is really cool, you can send it to cool fm radio, they got this show called play or stop. It helps promote up and coming artistes.

A blind person aint a man that is visually impaired but rather a man that is vision impaired.

Seriously? You learnt this from the great Cobhams himself? I very much doubt that! He must have said:

A blind person is NOT someone who is vision impaired but someone who is ONLY visually impaired.

That being said, I think that these talent discovery tv shows are wonderful platforms that really talented people can leverage on to showcase their unique gifts. I mean a lot of our celebrated artistes ( Omawumi, Iyanya, Chidinma but to mention a few) would probably have remained unknown and struggling to catch a glimpse of the limelight. So just keep pushing on and trying out on more auditions cos you never know from whence the big break would come.

Look at DJ Switch the winner of the whopping sum of #24million and a recording deal with Sony music, courtesy of the just concluded Glo X-factor tv show. That young gal didn't just start, that show wasn't her first either, but now, her life is changed forever!

Ms_Steph: Dis is a thread for jobs so anytin u can say to help won't do any harm to d thread. So hw is a lady suppose to dress? Cos me nw even if its pant nd bra I will wear it.

Lol! You should dress for the job! Before you go for a job interview, it is your responsibility to understand or at least have an idea about the work culture of the company! Any serios organization should have a Linkedin page where you can do meaningful research.

Understanding the company's work culture makes you know their tastes as well. Then, you need to understand the job you are interviewing for! How should someone in this post look and sound (remember, it must align with or reflect the corporate culture of the company)

Bear in mind that different methods apply to different companies, hence the need to seek to understand their corporate culture. You can however, never go wrong with portraying excellence.

Cheers!!!

I would also like to address the issue of looking "sexy" for job interviews.

A job interview is an opportunity to sell yourself. The employer is the client/customer/buyer of a commodity. That commodity is your skill, however that skill is packaged in a container(your physical presence) and that container MUST be presented in a manner that is appealing. Appealing in this sense means: professional, neat, charming, smart and amiable.

Having being in the corporate world for a few years and have being privileged to deal with professionals, I can authoritatively say that when a woman is all about displaying her feminity in a manner that even slightly suggests indecency, she is not taken seriously!

Yes! You MUST look good (personal hygiene and etiquettes are necessary), you hair and nails must be in place but you shouldn't be uncomfortable. A good carriage and charisma will always grant you audience and those qualities will be affected when you are uncomfortable with how you decide to present yourself.

This topic is lengthy and may derail the thread if I deliberate more on it.

Wish you guys the best and remember to keep the faith.

Cheers!!!

This is the first time I'd be commenting on this thread.

Ms steph, you have been doing a marvelous job and you strike me as someone who strives hard to get what they want. You have come this far, been through a lot of unpleasant stuff and kept pushing. Why decide to halt now because of yet another challenge? Why give up on your quest for greatness(choosing to quit trying for the rest of the year and waiting to start next year) all because you faced a challenge that was necessary to build you up?

You may just be at the verge of pulling through and you want to stop now? Not acceptable!

Please understand that I sympathize with you, being that I was once an applicant, an employee and eventually an employer of labor by the grace of God, so believe me when I say I UNDERSTAND it isn't easy but then NECESSARY for you to go through what you are currently going through because it is part of a refinning process for you.

Of course, once in a while you may decide to take a break but ONLY to restrategize and NEVER because you are overwhelmed by any challenge.

Just keep the faith, quit talking negative when you feel overwhelmed(like prophesying that only cleaning jobs are available for you or that your xmas will be dull because of the absence of a job etc) every word counts and trust God for favor.

Surely, the wait is almost over dear.
Cheers!!!

Like seriously! Are you sure you are a true son of that family? Why should their opinion count? Especially when it is devoid of reason.

Who chooses not to be with his better half because you are not from the same village? Ans: a man wey dem do strong tin for village!

I am glad to let you all know that the organisation in question are not scammers. I know the CEO personally. A young and focused entrepreneur.

You may copy and paste the link below on your browser to read the excerpts of an interview with Akin the CEO of corpertion and ogaworker.com. This way you get to meet the brain behind the company and also deduce what is expected from you as a potential employee.
www​.vanguardngr.com/.../our-problem-i...

Cheers.

Why is everyone so mean to the poster? Seems sorta vengeful.
Abi the op is getting a taste of his own medicine?

Back to the topic, I think the abs are coming up pretty nice, I see potential.

Also, you should take the situps suggestion REALLy seriously, you'd be impressed with the results.