₦airaland Forum

Riqueleme:
my ballpoint pen sketch (scrabbling) of Sarkodie

Are you available for a job?
Drop your number lets talk

Kindly link me to any good ballpoint/biro Artist for a job.
Job description; A poetry book
Just quote me here

mantosa:
Lyricism and songwriting are the most outstanding qualities ever shown by musicians but there are still hideous and erroneous feats made by the so-called musicians in songs. You would wonder if those songs were properly vetted by mixers and A&R executives before they passed on to marketing and licensing departments of record labels. Independent and upcoming musicians making these blunders in lyrics is forgivable but when superstars make these errors, we should stripe them off charts, awards and achievements especially if there is an expectation behind the brand. Recently, we have seen trolls on the rise about how superstar musicians have messed up a good song just because they were not apt in their lyricism. In rare cases, flops are allowed in lyricism if the song is unfinished or a comedic type.

Missy Elliot




Missy Elliot is still one of the best female hip/hop breakouts in the history of music. At a young age, the female rapper struck relationships with the best songwriters and producers in music especially Timbaland but that did not stop her from embarrassing herself on ‘Work it’ as she shrieked these lyrics confidently: “Take my thong off and my ass go boom!”. This is definitely an incoming tsunami.

Naira Marley

The Nigerian Popstar had a great year in 2019 but in that same year he made lines which found their way into the Nigerian pop culture notably one that music lovers can remember from “Soapy”:

“Inside life, go to the five 5 alive.” It is forgiven as the song became a nationwide hit even with the controversy surrounding the singer.

Coldplay

“Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones.” Did Coldplay ask fans to ignite their bones? Did the lead singer tell fans that the lights will lead them home after a show? So many things must be going through your mind also. But “fix you” is a hit nonetheless.

R.Kelly

Music lovers have cancelled Robert and we are here to remind you about one of his lyrics we can never forget – this same line brought traces about his sexual crimes from “You remind me of something” and here it is: “Girl you look just like my car, I wanna wax it.” How on earth did a girl end up looking like a car? Was she made in Vietnam?

Davido

Davido’s attempt to flow in rhythmic pattern in revival single “If” failed and we are still shocked that none of those people in the studio failed to correct this line: “My number one itutu sipping burukutu”. David’s lover must be a drunkard.

source - http://tushmagazine.com.ng/the-worst-lyrics-ever-used-by-musicians-in-songs/

Lolllllllllling
In as much as I understand your point, and I agree with you that so many songs have weak/lame lyrics, but it's because you are not privileged to the knowledge behind such lyrics.
Art is art because they sometimes do not have any logical explanation.
If it did, twuld be science!.


Don't forget we have a part of engi.lingo. known as figure of speech.
Examples
Can you whisper to me the secrets of forgetting please?,
Am I to just slip into the bright shadows of forgetfulness and forget to remember the details,
I saw her perfectly in bright darkness,
She lied to me with truthful lips


See ehnnn......
I understand ur point but most of the examples u gave above are just *beautiful nonsense* and that's the beauty of art.

cruzydal:
Guy that line still dey burst my head till now . How will u see a lady’s waist in her eyes ? That’s Dumb AF

Wowww
Do u really think I that line is dumb?
Mehn
I wish you understand the effect such lines have on women!

I see ur waist in ur eyes,
When I see u ,I feel my heart beating in my nostrils
Can I get lost in ur lips.....
I melt in need of ur desire,


If it's true that women fall easily for words...den just know they fall instantly for such words.

Goan learn Dem oh

nigeriainfo:
Hello, Let me advise you and I want to tell you nothing but the truth. I am here now in the United States presently and I am really advising you to stay back In Nigeria and invest that money in Nigeria. I am telling you this because I know what is actually going on here. Please stay back in Nigeria. Thank you and please heed my advice for your own good

Did you go there with 20million naira?

He should be the one advising you sir.
Person whey hustle 20m in Nigeria,imagine how much he can make abroad

Brodapounds:
Hello dear nairalanders.

Please I'm going through a state of mental confusion.

Currently i have approximately 20 million and 300 thousand naira in my bank account.

I have two thoughts.

1) I am 25 years old but I'm not a university graduate, i only have ND (National deploma) from a polytechnic In Edo state, Auchi precisely.

I would have become a graduate years ago but after my "ND" years ago, i refused to go back to school and i decided to hustle for money.

Most of my classmates in school back then are all graduates but all the same, looking at my bank account now, i have no regrets.

So this is what i plan on doing.

1) Can i further my Education In any university in the United States with the money and plan on staying back after my degree, for the fact that I'm 25.
Will that be advisable?

2) should i stay back in Nigeria and use part of the money to build a house In my hometown in Benin and use the rest for business?

3) Is there a chance of going to USA and start all over again, look for job.
Will the money be enough to rent a house, foot some bills untill i see a job in the USA.

Note i choose USA only because it's my dream country, I'm not scared of the traveling ban because I'm 100% confident that it will be taken away few months from now.

Please i won't be replying any mention or questions.

All i want is to take note of good advice.

I already know a reliable traveling agent.

Please other suggestions are welcomed apart from mine.

Please help

Broda mi,
I am just being curious
How did you make 20million abeg
I am asking on behalf of all Nairaland hustlers

solasoulmusic:
No pranks because am loved but damn if you live with someone who is attractive and love someone who always treats you bad it takes a special grace to remain faithful walahi ..

Wtf
Please kindly explain
I have read dis like 13times and I still don't understand

Kingsteve:
Op, what happened to you is called Liver Cuttage
As a guy, it is a phase one must pass through before being more confident.

Don't worry, nothing is wrong with you, you will outgrow it soon.

Next time: never cram, I repeat: never cram what you'll tell her.

Just approach her and start a convo...a meaningul one.
You can start with...I haven't seen you around here, do you live in the neighborhood?

Haahhahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhhhahahahahhhhhhahahahahahahahahahha I swear u nailed it.



His own was even few months.


I remembered when I was in ss1-3

I stalked a beautiful neighbor who mischievously gave me her kidsisters name as hers.....



Shiiit mehn!



But now I even enter relationships without knowing

Youngzubi:
Good Day My Fellow Nairalanders..

I just felt like sharing my first experience trying to woo a girl, it was like hell tho... so funny

Each time I remember this event it always make me to wonder if it was normal or maybe I wasn't bold. Some times ago I was on my way to visit a friend when I came in contact with this edo girl, she was so pretty that I kept on staring at her forgetting that i'm supposed to cross to the other side of the road cos where I stood was a very busy junction, I dismissed the idea of visiting my guy and followed her closely I wanted to know her street, that was mission accomplished as I was able to get exactly where her house was and asked some dudes for few information abt her, her name was favour, from then I started preparing to woo her after which I showed her to my friends secretly, trust niggars they started pushing me to confront her but the problem was how best to approach her and do the wooing tricks, two weeks later of cramming some lines and tricks I wore better clothes with my neighbor perfume. Minutes later I was standing at their street and it wasn't too long when she came out I guessed to buy something, I swear the more she approached was the more my heart beat increased, sweating profusely even it got to some extent that my legs wasn't steady anymore, so I pretended I didn't see her as she passed. Oh my God, my urine was hot as I rushed to the gutter to ease myself I don't even know if removed smoke sef.. that one passed, months passed still I was not able to approach her. One day i made up my mind to approach her, it was more like do or die, I wore my clothes dressed casually this time and memorized things again both how to greet her and all that, God made it easy as I saw her before I got to her street, she was walking and gisting with a female friend. I began to feel cold inside as I approached but I kept walking towards the due.. her friend stopped a bike and bade her good by so she turned and started walking to her street, I quickly walked up to her and said Hi! She turned and stared directly into my eye.. Jesus I froze instantly, my people I said hi to this girl like four good times, every down thing I memorized had now flashed off, my head was empty in fact I regretted ever confronting her she stood for a while trying to figure out who I was cos the expression on her face showed it all, emm please can we be friends? That was what I heard myself say, immediately she heard that she hissed loudly and crossed to the other side of the road and walked away.. I swear I couldn't sleep that night.. abeg my people is it that I don't have liver or its a normal thing in guys, but i see guys do wooing anyhow as if it was their calling... let's discuss about it..

Modified..

Hahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahaahahahahahahahshahhahs

prinzetobi:
Available

Interested
08063152970

universelawa:
You guys remember Weed. My boisterous female caucasian shepherd dog.

Let me bring you to speed. Shes about 14 months old now.

I wanted to sell her when she was around 4 months due to problems with my neighbours but I eventually relocated her.

Weed @ 9weeks

Any news on weed?

tenderheart23:
sales, buy ,adoption and other enquires can be made here. click on the group link to join

Follow this link to join my WhatsApp group: https://FqTCjw0N3Ad0UL9lxPBmuo

Or contact me on 07031013008 WhatsApp number

08063152970

Victoronah1:
look at this one. If I slap u eeh. You be the one to work for me. Just joking

You have just 10mins
Then you will see what I would do to you on this forum.
You go no say khaki no be leather

Victoronah1:
I don't really know the right place to put this so I decided and I am using my pride to mess things up now I

Please I need matured advice.

This is my number and you will start working for me by tomorrow
Call this number
08135236715 by 8.30am tomorrow.
If you fail to call the number, I will deal with you.
You think everybody is your mate.

SifonAbasi:
Good morning friends.

Look for someone to compensate him with.
Try hook him up with another babe or set him up with a babe that's really fine to distract him?

Or
Arrange very clean Escorts that he would love( ensure they are your kinda woman; pay Dem with extra; and explain to them to role-play on ur behalf!
Seems like he enjoys submissive women(u had no one else,so u don't have a choice to open ur legs)(if you were very sweet he would have kept you and not be paying for sex)




Is he an officer in the army or Airforce? U can actually report him after truly begging him.


It's an Ego tin for him right now, try and genuinely ask for forgiveness orrrrr

Use his *phonenumber* and try transfer the said sum to his account number + A calculated amount for inflation + interest accruable to a fixed deposit + Suffering Allowance




Lastly, abegggggg tell oga!
He can corrupt oga with woman to get at you oh, or one day he would drive d insane idea of either cuckoldery or swinging to your husband.
(He seems Richer than your man)

mcporch:
I’m In a Verge of Breakup. Please Help!!!!

. Thanks and i appreciate

If you are worried about her fertility status,you can walk into any hospital and demand for the following investigations
Pelvic scan
HSG
Hiv test

AdorableSapphir:
The guy fine pass the girl sef. She needs to add some flesh.

U just spoke my mind....
The guy is way above her...

With one or two brush-ups ,he would steal breaths away!

Bitchiamjay:
You rap like you’ve been a drunk since your childhood, Yeah that’s true..
Cause everyone remembers everything except you..

Shot-the-Bleep-up punk!
You mock the drunks; but with just one bottle your heart is beating in your nostrils!
And yur regurgitating on d upholsteries!
U dey form baddass to block out ur own miseries!
Shioor! We all know sey u be monk!
Even one To-to u no go see lay for ur bunk!

Vibesvbs:
Someone should diss me pls , I want to test my heart.

I wish I could diss you....
But you ain't got heart all that u got is a replica that is new!
Aswear you not fit for d dissing game! Over dia.........yes.....furthermore.....go join the kissing game

felixawe:
I am badly in need of a serious relationship because I'm no more getting any younger and I don't know why many do not want to approach me to date me.
One of the reasons why I think many do not want to date me or want to open up to me that they will like to have a relationship with me is probably because I'm the boss of all my staffs.

They all do the 'Oga' 'Oga' thing all the time even though I've told them many times without number that they can call me by my name.

The too much respect they're giving me is causing me more harm than do me any good.

I'm going to be 39 in the next 2 years and the hope of finding a husband is getting bleak every day.

I don't know what to do. Many are spreading different rumours as to why no man is coming for me and I want all that to end.

I'm fine too now, it is not as of I'm that ugly. Even people that are not as attractive as I am are getting married every weekend.

Please advise me on what to do before I clock 40 and menopause starts setting in.

It won't be good for me to now become suicidal because of this marriage thing.

Different people have given me different advice in the past and I have applied all they advised me to do but I'm still where I am.

And currently, I'm beginning to ask if I will still be able to find a husband.

Please help me, guys!

I will read all comments.

Please SHARE and COMMENT.
https://news-af.feednews.com/news/detail/dbddbb0b5a50253467d9720d5e852f59?client=news

I got a man for u

Salmoneus:
Hi guys, I'm a content creator in Lagos I create animations for youtube and my channel is monetized, I'm looking for a partner who can provide me with quality voice overs, If you're interested please comment with your phone number here....

08063152970

Code650:
Hey Guys, i just joined yes!! after so many readings. Name’s Arianna and i live in Usa.. I’m a native American and Josh is Nigerian. We have a boy and he’s 5. We both work and i always leave my kids at their grandma’s (My mom)..recently i had a closer look on my kid and i can see tiny cuts like dots on my child's back.. they look so tiny but a closer look they stand apart within that space. He’s got 12 of those tiny cuts on his back and he says papa did it.

So since this is a Nigerian forum (at least his addiction to this site made me read too) can that be voodoo? I’m gonna post a pic but no for privacy reasons.. totally i do not onow how to explain this.

....... they look so tiny but a closer look they stand apart within that space. He’s got 12 of those tiny cuts on his back and he says papa did it......



Hey , that's an African village Barcode!
It's use to identify members, locate them remotely if need be, also used for aerial surveillance of members and most importantly for protection.


I believe you are conversant with barcodes on goods in the USA.

....... they look so tiny but a closer look they stand apart within that space. He’s got 12 of those tiny cuts on his back and he says papa did it......



Hey , that's an African village Barcode!
It's use to identify members, locate them remotely if need be, also used for aerial surveillance of members and most importantly for protection.


I believe you are conversant with barcodes on goods in the USA.

Following bumper to fender CHieffo

sgtponzihater1:
No problem, I will try when I am bit free. Quite busy atm

I understand Chief.
I am threading your pathway sir and hopefully I would bore you with my little wahalas in the coming months.
All the best in your endeavours sir.

sgtponzihater1:
I will do a thread to educate 21st century prospective MBBS Doctors if I have the time. I would make no mention of Dentistry because I am not fully aware of what goes on in their faculty after veering off from 5th year. And my thread won't connote that Medicine is better than any other course , but the opportunities that lie ahead.

Bro, you shud do dis please.

Defenderalert:
You need not have mentioned me in the first place. My views on Ubunja remain intact because he is on a plot to lead innocent lads to destruction.

Get outta my mention and when your kids grow up tell them to go read the trash you follow and advice them to reason and act exactly like Ubunja and your daughters tell them never to open their thighs to any man except they find the likes of Ubunja.

I no get your time. Mark my words as i say so shall it be.

And let prosterity judge you for not going against evil.

You are pained.
Very pained and it's obvious.
Dis is d reason I hate online tins.....
Busybody!

Defenderalert:
Excuse me. I never asked you to jump on my mention. Your curse sticks to you not me as i am no Ubunja supporter. I know what he stands for is completely evil and i am wise enough to see beneath his dumb write ups.

Why is it a curse that your daughters will be laid by his replicas when you feel you should hail his evil manifestations and thoughtlessness? You should view it as a prayer since Ubunja is your inspiration. Nonsense.

I said I wasn't going to mention you....but



You forgot dis is my thread!
You d intruder.
Anyway let's keep a date with posterity here.
Take down dis date and thread...
Save it...
Someday you would regret running your mouth foul.
Save the date so you won't forget.
Since you are 2 hasty to curse your kids.
I wish you and wish Dem well.

Defenderalert:
For those of us who know him, we know he actually has sex with men. He is more bitter than the bile you mentioned.

Well since you think the messenger is separate from the message which in my view is a very dumb analogy. As most have said, i also pray that your daughters get laid by Ubunja replicas. The problem is he will turn them to baby mamas,tell them all he needed was their money & "pussy", take their money and dump them and move to his next victim.

I know him personally. If you want his real name and pictures pm me. He is an extremely old frustrated jobless YORUBA bachelor living right here in Nigeria.

And on dropping the hate? You need to send that advice to Ubunja. His dumb write ups are based on hatred for himself. He hates his life and wants as many dumb men as possible to fall for it ending up in the same ditch he threw himself into. I am not falling for that. You fall for that you grow old in sorrow,bitterness and loneliness just like him.

You cannot plant maize and reap plantains. Ubunja is paying for his sins. Let him pay alone.Don't be fooled bro.

Uncle.....
You can explain all dis without d curse!
And u sure know...what you wish others do come back in 4folds...
And I am only replying you calmly because dis is an onlinne forum!
Dis wud be my last mention...
What you wish me....in many years.....you wud come back and regret ever typing it!
#wiseman