₦airaland Forum

190....u funny sha

GEJ walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, 'Good morning Ma'am. Would you please cash this cheque for me?'

Cashier: 'It would be my pleasure, Sir. But could you please show me your ID?'

Jonathan: 'Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. [Don't you know me?] I am Jonathan, the President...'

Cashier: 'Yes sir, I know who you are. But with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the CBN, I must insist on seeing some ID.'

Jonathan: 'Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.'

Cashier: 'I am sorry, sir, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.'

Jonathan: 'I am urging you, please, cash this cheque.'

Cashier: 'Sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tonto Dike came into the bank to cash a cheque without her ID. To prove herself, she started singing, the guard dog fainted and the computers went off. So we knew it was her and cashed the cheque.'

'Another time, Governor Fashola came without his ID to cash a cheque. We doubted him at first but when our dispatch rider rode in on a motorbike and he screamed, 'Arrest that bike rider,' we cashed his cheque!'

'So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you, as President?'

Jonathan stands there thinking and thinking, and finally says, 'Honestly, my mind is totally blank... There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I just don't have a clue.'

Cashier: 'Very good, Sir. It is you, alright! Now we're convinced! Do you want N500 or N1,000 notes?

ABEG, NA JOKE I DEY OOH

what is an heart break?......listen to rap songs to toughen your mind

in simple English....she is using you as BACKUP.....though hers can be an exception

but I still thinks she is with you maybe to avoid be lonely or till a better option comes

Afam4eva: I just checked your profile picture and i must confess that you're stunning. Is nekaa same as "Nneka"?

stunning as in facial beauty or b00bies......look well o, so you won't come to complain on nairaland that your gf has a flat ass.

@op that's a wrong assumption .....let's start with your definition of beauty

>>>>>

Defaramade: Na jbed java emulator, got the gtb app through bluetooth, flash is Adobe Flash player, clockwidet is sense flip clock & weather

dude u don't need flash player....opera mobile (not opera mini) and default browser works well without flash player

better find a bf that prefers a small bossom

wikipedia has added Nigeria already on the list of number portability by country

drphantom: @Krissjay. I just saw your post(s). I hope the situation with your marriage has improved. l sincerely hope so!
Allow me to say that there is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite. It is not unchristian neither is it unhealthy.
And it doesnt'necessarily mean a divorce is the answer particularly if your husband is willing to work with you on this.
Could You please give an update of the situation so we can discuss a bit more cos I think I may be able to bring my experience as a christian, a doctor and a Counsellor to bear on your situation, if you don't mind..... -

the poster was last scene on nairaland sep 2012.....I just hope ONILA that beats her chest like kingkong about been a virgin is reading this.

2years 9months? and you are still fighting an inner battle.......I will suggest you work on the things that has kept you with him this far

you calling him a bad kisser makes you a "badder" kisser cos it takes two to tangle on this.....BTW no harm in teaching him how you wanted to be kissed

disadvantages of approaching (chiking) a girl at night

Olamyyde: somebody pls tell me na lie, dis ur news almost gave me an heart attack, n3 don almost finish 4 market? Pls tell me na joke ooooo becos i wan buy my own 4 april. I don save 10k now oooo, and have already made preparation 4 d fone. Ive been following dis thread since january and i have gone too far to be disappointed. Someone shud pls advice me, shud i buy d fone now and do they sell d fone 4 12k anywhere in computer village? I need responses pls ooooooo

n3 is going out of market..... its very scarce in warri ATM

Seyilome: well I change my apn to default which gives me glosecure on my apn, but no internet signal, I have even changed to gloflat but yet no signal since these days

the HRT (host routing table) has been blocked for non BB users... so even the normal browsing won't work except you contact your service provider

op... fire her as a gf and employ her as a love peddler....

see them **zero hate zero fortiri ***(080 43) making lots of noise

so iya-onila is a Yoruba gal?

imagine cooking a soup n not testing if there's salt or maggi innit....sex is a key ingredient in marriage so what if she turns out to someone with a low sex drive. have anyone ever wonder why most couples that divorce always comes up with the word "irreconcilable difference "

nothing wrong or right in marrying a virgin to me

see dem girls trying to protect the name GIRLS.....@op don't use your own hands to spoil your relationship..... why go such length to test your gf?

put yourself in her shoes n think....a government worker n a wanna be master holder.... who will u choose?

9free: Got does wonderful features:
Can assign multiple numbers to a contact label
Can group callers
Can tag contacts as favourites
Import and Export contacts from SIM to SD card and vice vasa

if these are the features of GO contacts then there is no difference with the stock contact

Too much of sex or lack of sex is involved here....i ve a feeling you cut out the bad part in your story anyways I think the guy has lost interest in the relationship..... take some timeout to breathe

the girl funny sha.....na egusi she wan break for there?

am sure the guys approach was wrong cos I think the girl was game already


met a guy 2day.... went to his house the next day..... which kind msg she wan preach

Daraplato: Guys, can games be sent from one techno N3 to another through bluetooth or any other means?

you can use FAST FILE TRANSFER....with it you can transfer files through wireless at the rate of 3mbps

op you should hear yourself ...."seriously in love with a girl you have not even started dating"....... boys of nowadays

still flexing mine though it stopped for 7hrs... I had to re-insert my sim on a BB phone for it to start browning again on my phone

Blov: im posting with it right now, with 0.00k balance. i had similar issues bt after i inserted my SIM on BB den bak to my android- T1, it started browsing even now

I have been singing it to them ever since

continue jor ....take it as sport in which you have less interest on .....try other girls also

check YouTube to get a step to step approach.

Why would I lie..... still wondering how mine is still working cos I just tried it on another tecno but it did not work

W3xy1: are you sure the stuff is still working on n3 make i no hussle in vain find person wey get bb o. Any other person using tecno n3 testify if its working for you o

mine is working well....I just inserted my sim on a BB phone... browsed with it for some time then re-insert my sim on my tecno