₦airaland Forum

Did the love of your life just propose? Maybe you’ve just recently said “I do,” or you’ve been hitched for a few years now. With the divorce rates high and stable in the United States, most married couples want to know how to make their marriage last and remain a happy one “until death do us part.”

Ask happily married couples what their secrets are and the success factors boil down to a few key areas: communication, respect, gratitude, acceptance, trust, and friendship.

Check out these 10 inspiring quotes and see if you see your marriage inside them:

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate” – Barnett Bruckner

The secret to finding your true everlasting love is to become the love you seek. If you want someone to love, honor, and appreciate you then you must learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself first. Why? Because we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Become the love of your life and the love of your life will find you.

TIPS: Three Things That Can Destroy Your Relationship/Marriage

“If most of your arguments start softly, your marriage is likely to be stable and happy” – John Gotten

Rather than bark at or attack the love your life when disagreements happen, begin with saying a few things you appreciate about your love. Keep the middle of your conversation focused on the one issue or disagreement and end with something kind. You are far more likely to achieve a successful outcome, even if you simply agree to disagree, than if you assault your partner with ugly words.

“Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite” – Unknown

Comparison truly is the thief of joy and when couples begin to compare their marriage or love story with that of others or those portrayed by Hollywood, that may leave one half of the couple feeling like their missing out. Remember, the grass is always greener when you water your own. Nurture, grow, and celebrate your own love story.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche

7 Secrets of a Successful and Long-Lasting Marriage

Hold hands. Whisper in each others ears. Play. Make time for each other. Be interesting and be interested. The courtship and the friendship that originally brought you together doesn’t have to end after you say “I do.’ Life’s ups and downs are easier to navigate when you know that you’re meeting it head on with your best friend.

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side” – Zig Ziglar

When you said “I do,” you joined forces, clasped hands, and walked down the aisle together as a united couple. When the outside world of kids, money, in-laws, outlaws, work, and home ownership tries to burst your love bubble and tear the two of you apart, remember, you’re on the same side.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” – Winnie the Pooh

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Be grateful. Begin each day with gratitude. The more gratitude your heart holds, the less negativity and criticism it will harbor. You’ll be less likely to be snarky when you get home from work or crabby when your honey unintentionally hurts your feelings.

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Your happiness is your responsibility. Your partner’s happiness is your partner’s responsibility. Make no mistake here – the love of your life is not responsible for your happiness. He’s more like BASF. Think of your sweetie as a happiness mood enhancer.

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland

Every day, for the next 30 days, practice the art of the 30 second kiss. That’s right, take your sweetie in your arms and pucker up. Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the static and chatter in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace. And don’t forget to hug the love of your life as well. Hugging really does make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It reduces stress and tension and provides an overall sense of calmness.

“You are one with your husband until you believe the thought that he should look a certain way, he should give you something, he should be something other than what he is.” Byron Katie

To remain one with your partner allow him to be who he is. To believe the thought that the one you love should change to suit your expectations is an illusion. When we allow each other to be who we are without jealousy, envy, or anger the marriage relationship reaps the rewards of trust, appreciation, and love.

“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Kahlil Gibran

12 Reasons You Should Have Sex With Your Spouse Every Day

Understand where your partner ends and you begin. You are a whole person not someone’s better half. You are not the missing puzzle piece to someone else’s life. Pursue your passions and dreams and allow the love of your life to do the same. Your marriage will flourish under the guardianship of two whole people who joined together to become an unparalleled force.

source: http://romanticupdates.com/2015/02/10-inspiring-quotes-lead-long-happy-marriage/

Welldone Dear VO ...

My K1 petition got approved yesterday at TSC after a very long wait of 7 months ... Can't wait have my case available at your consulate. The waiting seems endless ...lolz

Hoping to have an available interview date for March ending all things being equal (do you think this is feasible ma?).

Pls do you have idea how long it takes for approved K1 petitions to get to you guys after the approval date considering the 3 months validity?

cute pics but hmmmm

henrykelek:
Success is good...it qualifies you to give advice. Good for him

lolz

1.
One job he'll never do is gossiping; it's too tasking.

2.
His role models are Abacha, Obasanjo ,Jay Z.

3.
Most influential person so far in his career is popular producer ID Cabasa, saying God used ID Cabasa to bless him.

4.
Female celebrity crush is veteran Yoruba actress Iya Rainbow

5.
Two brands he would like to be an ambassador of are global sneaker brands Puma and Nike

6.
He assured that his record label YBNL will be signing its female soon

7.
He is going to do a song with Wizkid

8.
His favourite food is local food

9.
Name of his best friend is Yomi Sars

10.
Greatest challenge in the music industry is piracy

11.
Olamide describes himself as "Omo olomo ninu frying pan layin Shey tinko"

12.
His advice to upcoming artistes is for them to pray hard

source: http://pulse.ng/celebrities/olamide-12-things-you-didnt-know-about-rapper-id3482928.html?utm_campaign=daily-2015-02-14&utm_medium=email&utm_source=olamide-12-things-you-didnt-know-about-rapper

senatorbayor:
Don't shake your head for him if that is his calling who knows.
we have seen where dancing competition had lifted some families to new levels such as Maltina dance hall,star mega shows and other not minding their academics qualifications.
All of us cant be in academics. we should learn to discorver the talents of this young one at early stage and see to the achievements at tender age.

May be you are getting me wrong. Dont misplace priorities in life dear. First thing first, at his level he needs to be smart in the basic education which every child needs at his tender age and whatever he now choses to become in d future, he would have gotten it right and only build on it. Or are u saying he shouldnt know how to read or write because he wanna turn dancer of d universe? Those are d basic level he is now... So Have said it all, if he is academic sound, then fire down but if he is dull, then d parent should help him it right

juman:
The victims of one nigeria.

The almajiris are known to be used by the northern leaders to wreak havoc on lifes and properties of the peoples from other regions of the country living in the core north.

But now the same almajiris turned back and destroying their region in even bigger proportion.

Guess all cos of our clueless presido's indecisiveness.

MrPresident:
happiness is a state of mind, not the fake smiles in front of camera.

I agree with you 100%

Twin sisters from South Africa, Owami and Olwethu Mzazi, have recently got married to the same man, 51-year-old Mzukiseni Mzazi.



According to Nigerian Watch, the 26-year-old sisters were extremely proud of their decision. In an interview with South African magazine “Drum”, the happy women revealed that they had always known that they would marry the same man. They also added that since they were born they have shared everything else together.

“We have always done everything together. We share everything. That is how our grandmother raised us. So when we decided to marry, we said any man that wants to marry one, will marry the other,” Owami said.



It would be noted that the news triggered very controversial reactions among Nigerian Watch readers. Male audience was really excited and happy for Mzukiseni Mzazi.

“Brilliant, good news of the decade. Have they got another twin sister, for me, as a bachelor to get married to me, ” wrote #Lord Esiri.

“Please help me look for beautiful twins who want to marry same man,” asked #yacub yacub

But there were those who strongly critisized that marrige.

“These folks are living in what I consider an out dated culture…unciv ilized and impractical. Although the country has gain political expedience,the natives are backwards.Very sad,” wrote Gilbert Oconnor.

source: http://www.talkofnaija.com/world/wow-twin-sisters-marry-the-same-man

PICS

Nigerian children, men and women travelled to Chad through the Lake Chad, losing their homes and even relatives after attacks of deadly Boko Haram sect, which is dominated in the North-east of Nigeria.

The displaced people have since settled in a refugee camp in Chad after being chased away from their villages by Boko Haram in recent attacks.

Among them is an 8-year-old girl whose hand was amputated after she was severely injured during one of the raids

The camp at Baga-Sola, known as Dar-es-Salam (“place of peace”) can house 15,000 refugees and is currently hosting just over 3,000. United Nation Refugee Agency (UNHCR) is working with the Chadian government to transport an additional 2,000 displaced persons on the islands to the camp.

The Ministry of Public Health has posted doctors and nurses in Dar-es-Salam and added extra health workers to communities hosting large numbers of refugees.

No less than 17,000 Nigerians have taken refuge in Chad since May 2013, according to UNHCR. An additional 100,000 have fled to Niger and 37,000 to Cameroon.

The biggest influx into Chad – more than 14,000, at a rate of up to 1,000 a day – followed Boko Haram’s 3 January attack on the northeastern Nigerian town of Baga. Hundreds of people were killed and entire villages burned. More than one in five of the new arrival lack any form of shelter, according to the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies.

Nigerian children, men and women travelled to Chad through the Lake Chad, losing their homes and even relatives after attacks of deadly Boko Haram sect, which is dominated in the North-east of Nigeria.

The displaced people have since settled in a refugee camp in Chad after being chased away from their villages by Boko Haram in recent attacks.

Among them is an 8-year-old girl whose hand was amputated after she was severely injured during one of the raids

The camp at Baga-Sola, known as Dar-es-Salam (“place of peace”) can house 15,000 refugees and is currently hosting just over 3,000. United Nation Refugee Agency (UNHCR) is working with the Chadian government to transport an additional 2,000 displaced persons on the islands to the camp.

The Ministry of Public Health has posted doctors and nurses in Dar-es-Salam and added extra health workers to communities hosting large numbers of refugees.

No less than 17,000 Nigerians have taken refuge in Chad since May 2013, according to UNHCR. An additional 100,000 have fled to Niger and 37,000 to Cameroon.

The biggest influx into Chad – more than 14,000, at a rate of up to 1,000 a day – followed Boko Haram’s 3 January attack on the northeastern Nigerian town of Baga. Hundreds of people were killed and entire villages burned. More than one in five of the new arrival lack any form of shelter, according to the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies.

I don't see anything wrong IF ONLY HE'S SMART IN HIS ACADEMICS but if otherwise, the I smh for his parent

Dramadiddy:
i saw them in hilux vans...about 50 vans..going thru port harcourt road,owerri last saturday...mehn...i havent seen military guys in that multitude before

GEJ is just a desperado ... wanna retain power at all cost

meforyou1:
okporo road, artillery. Gone to airport road to ugwuruta and airport and I didn't see a single soldier

I smell a GEJ supporter in you ...lolz

meforyou1:
there's no single soldier in portharcourt. im there right now

Bros which area u dey? And tell me how many areas you've gone to during the d morning period to come to that conclusion

ozoigbondu:
Amaechi the coward come out now with your thugs for the protest i trust my gallant soldiers to test their koboko on their bottom if they make too much noise life bullet is accpected

Imagine!... Who is the coward here between GEJ and Amaechi? Peaceful protest is never a crime in any civilized country.

GEJ better stop all these his clueless decisions and rise up to his challenges

There are military at every strategical areas in PH city like Slaughter, Garrison, Trans Amadi axis. Also at Aba Road.

It seems this is related to the threat issued by Gov Amaechi to protest if INEC postpone the elections...

Please confirm if it's same thing at your area if you stay in PH.


*** It's obvious the fear of Amaechi is the beginning of wisdom to the GEJ crew *** lolz

Extom:
Some ladies are so demonic, that this five points will only turn them on the more.
It is as if they received their own 'anointing' from hell, to come and start looking for married men,and whatever you do to bring your wife into the picture, spurs them the more.

I agree with u ... Especially those ladies that has sold their soul to the devil in convenant to destroy homes

A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women, especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention my wife and family early in the conversation. I have found this advice to be very useful on many occasions.

Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and strong. I want my marriage to be strong and healthy, and so should you! In fact, it’s one of the biggest responsibilities in your marriage. 

So let’s dig deeper into this subject. Where are some common places that you might run into this scenario? For many of you, it could easily happen at work. You could be starting a new job and find yourself around a lot of nice, new women. When this happens, you have to make the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way by mentioning your beautiful wife and family.

 

For some of you, you have been working around the same women for some time. You might have chosen many times to engage in flirty conversation or to go out with co-workers after work. If this is you and your wife is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your position as the husband and leader. Take the necessary steps to make your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t forget it. Lead, gentlemen, lead!

Even though those were only a couple of quick examples, I know there are a few of you out there who need to step up your role as a husband. Those examples don’t apply to you? Then consider who you know and talk to at your gym, the grocery store, the local hangout or wherever. These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Man up and do what needs to be done for your marriage!

 

Now that I have your attention, here are five things every married man should do around single women:

 

1. Keep your ring on. There are very few exceptions for when that ring needs to be off, like when operating heavy machinery, swimming in shark-infested waters and the like. If you are about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider if you need it on or not, leave! Run! Get away from there! Seriously, get out of that situation; your vows, marriage, children and more depend on those important decisions. (Read Luke 16:10.)

 

2. Hang up pictures of your wife at work. A married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple of great and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his office or place of work. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: It will remind you why you love her so much, and it will make for a great conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it. Update the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your relationship is continuing to grow. Get that picture up this week and extinguish those flames. (Read Psalm 119:37.)

 

3. Keep eye contact simple and short. Don’t read this the wrong way; I’m not saying to be rude. I’m saying to be careful where your eyes travel and how long they travel when you are in the presence of an attractive single woman. You know that once you engage in the first serious look, you have signed the dotted line for more eye trouble. (Read more about that “first look” here.) Keep it short, keep it decisive, and move on. Get back to that image posted at your desk. Go! (Read Matthew 5:28.)

 

4. Keep conversation general and professional. If you work around single women, there is no question that conversation will come up. It’s up to you on how you decide to speak with her. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional, or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn't. Be polite but very intentional in your conversations. If needed, again, always be ready to bring up something about your wife or family. Pull the pin, aim, and extinguish. Safety first. (Read Romans 6:13.)

 

5. Talk about your wife and family often. Did I mention anything about talking about your wife in conversation yet? I believe I did, but this last point brings the idea to a firm home. The single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no match to your wife and family. Your family should be your first priority wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day. Yes, each and every day. Keep it short, keep it simple, and mention your beautiful wife. Now pat yourself on the back and keep it up. (Read Ephesians 5:25-33.)

 

Important note: No matter what you have done with your current relationships with single women, these steps can and should be started at anytime. Your wife’s feelings are and will always be more important than the woman you need to take these steps with. Get on it!

 

I challenge you to take these bold steps for you, your marriage and your family. Again, it’s your responsibility to lead!

 

List one of your own tips below, and let’s help out our fellow husbands.

Source: http://www.mydominioncity.com/blogs/18-educational/46-5-things-every-married-man-should-do-around-single-women

VisaOfficer:
Good questions! First of all, the 2014 Diversity Visa season ended on Sept. 30, 2014, and we are no longer seeing any 2014 cases whatsoever. We're seeing a very few 2015 cases -- people who are chargeable to other countries but who now reside here in Nigeria. Not very many at all, though, and definitely not enough to affect the rest of our operations.

I don't think Nigeria's graduation from the Diversity Visa program will lead to significantly shorter waiting periods for other types of visa. This is because DVs are processed by a different agency in the U.S. than the agency that processes traditional immigrant visas. However, we are expecting to see our regular IV numbers increase substantially and significantly this year (starting in February!) because USCIS has released a great many more cases than expected. We're excited about the increase, and my goal is to make sure that everyone is scheduled for an interview as soon as they are eligible. It's going to be fun!

Going by this, I am presuming those of us scheduling for K1 interview may likely have nearest available dates to select for interview? ... Although my case is still with TSC which presently are so slow cos they claimed they have a lots of backlogs... Hoping to hear from them soon as it appears they are currently working on July 2014 filers now which mine too was in July. How I wish NVC would grant us a special speed considering the time TSC has wasted on our cases unlike their CSC counterpart...lolz

Desmond Elliot says
I am not a drunk - Desmond Elliot reacts to alcohol rumour !
Desmond Elliot Reacts To Alcohol Rumour

Nollywood star and APC candidate for the forthcoming State Assembly election in Lagos, Desmond Olushola Elliot has reacted to the misrepresentation of his person as being reckless, irresponsible and above all a drunk owing to a photograph of him in circulation holding 2 bottles of champagne.


According to the award winning actor who spoke through his publicist, Tunde Moshood, the said photograph which is currently circulating is a mere political propaganda and has nothing to do with recklessness as the public has been made to perceive of his person.

And the irony of it is that, I don't even drink alcohol, not even at all, at least this is very easy to confirm, my colleagues in the movie industry can attest to this, those bottles of champagne were presented to us as gifts by the CDA Chairman that community while we were on the campaign procession and because of the fact that, I am the popular face among the politicians, they were handed to me and in the spirit of the campaign, I just brandished it, and later handed it to guys, Desmond stated.

So it's surprising to see that the gesture of goodwill and acceptance which is meant to be seen as a honour have been given a different name by detractors but that notwithstanding, I've taken note of this and will be more careful henceforth of what not to be involved in, he quipped on a final note.

source: www.alarinka-agbaye..com

justwise:
You actually made some very important points which i totally agreed with, i'm not comfortable with the speaker thing and its not only in Nigeria they use it, my first and only visa interview at US embassy outside Nigeria was the same experience , people could hear practically everything which really puts me off.

The op failed to make this point but rather went off with a completely different point about visa refusals and some second-person experience stories

Thanks for your candour nd sense of maturity ... Since you mentioned that's same way they are doing in other countries, i want to assume that's their modus operandi ... One has to either bear with it or ignore traveling to their country.

Guys pls can we stop abussing the OP? Everyone is entitle to his/her opinion.

I think d guy raised a point there that somehow make sense to me which i think if any of their officials here on Nairaland are reading it, the shud pls do something about it if possible ... The putting the interviewee on speaker.

Having known that its all manner of pple in there waiting to be interviewed, some informations should be exclusively btw d consular and the applicant. Some are financial matters and while some are related to health issues.

Pls lets all address this and not pick fault with the OP. I am not concern abt why or how they refuse pple. I am talking abt the speaker thing.

The OP might have brought this to Nairaland because he is aware of the VO here and she has a listening ear. She might take this up and see to it that pple want privacy..

No harm please ... peace

Also heard the news today in church cos I'm a member of Ayo Ni O ... So so sadden. May God grant him eternal rest at His bossom IJN

An Imam, Rabiu Abdulquadri, has been arrested by the Ogun State Police Command for shaving the pubic hair of a 22-year-old-girl and collecting her nails under the pretext of preparing a favour charm for her.

The Imam was also accused of raping the victim, Elizabeth (pseudonym), in his house in Abule-Ojo, Obafemi Owode Local Government Area, Ogun State



It was gathered that Abduquadri, popularly known as Alfa Cisse, approached the victim, who was returning from her place of work around 8.30pm on December 28.

The Imam was said to have stopped the victim at a roundabout in the Ofada area of the state, claiming he had a vision about her.

He was said to have ordered her to join an on-going prayer in his mosque before he could reveal the vision.

Elizabeth, who claimed she succumbed to Alfa Cisse’s bidding unconsciously, said he took her to his apartment after she dropped her luggage at home.

In the night, the cleric allegedly instructed her to strip herself naked and shaved strands of hair in her head, armpit and private parts, after which he had a carnal knowledge of her.

It was also learnt that he told her to come back for a charm that would bring favour to her the following day.

When our source visited the victim on Wednesday, she said, “He and some clerics prayed for me. In the night, he woke me up, collected my nails, hairs and slept with me not minding my menstrual discharge. He said he would use them to prepare a charm for me to get favour.

“I did not realise what I was doing untill the next day when I returned home and my sister scolded me for not sleeping at home. That was when it occurred to me that I had been used.

“He even demanded more hairs when I got there the following day. Since then, I have been feeling weak and I can’t sleep in the night.”

Elizabeth’s uncle, Mr. Oluwaseun Idowu, said he had spent a lot of money on the victim, whose health reportedly aggravated after the encounter with the cleric.

Idowu said he eventually located the Imam’s house after which policemen from the Owode Police Division arrested him.

It was learnt that Alfa Cisse confessed to the police that he actually took the girl’s pubic hairs, although he denied having sex with her.

The Ogun State Police Public Relations Officer, Muyiwa Adejobi, confirmed the incident.

He said, “The suspect was paraded by the state Commissioner of Police, Ikemefuna Okoye, today (Wednesday).

“He will be charged to court soon.”

Source: http://www.nigerianeye.com/2015/01/imam-rapes-22-year-old-girl-shaves.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Nigerianeye+%28NigerianEye%29

The gentle one

kristina1:
Even with dis signs,some will still hold in to dat relationship.

You're so on point ... Especially the desperate ladies

It is an open fact that we can't keep trying one thing for 15 years and expecting a different result.

Let's us meet here to deliberate and show some love to these winning team come Feb 2015: Buhari/Osinbajo.

Note: I'm not a politician nor any party's fan. I'm gainfully employed with a multinational oil servicing coy. All I'm yearning for is a CHANGE ... Enough of youths being enslaved in their fatherland...

The naira fell by four per cent against the dollar to 187.05 at the interbank foreign exchange market on Wednesday. This is the highest fall in five years on a closing basis, according to analysts.



Foreign exchange market dealers linked the development to the Central Bank of Nigeria’s announcement that its Wednesday’s auction at the Retail Dutch Auction System window was the last for the year.

It was learnt that traders and importers, who could not access the RDAS window, rushed to the interbank forex market to place their demand.

This, dealers said, led to huge demand for the greenback at the interbank market, forcing the interbank rate to close at 187.05, down from 180.50 on Tuesday.

The CBN, however, said the official window of the foreign-exchange auctions would reopen on January 5, 2015.

Analysts said the central bank might need to defend the naira at the interbank market regularly till the end of the year to minimise pressure on the naira.

“Banks may start selling their stock of dollars at high premium since the greenback is no longer available at the RDAS window till next year,” the Head, Investment Research, Afrinvest, a research and business advisory firm, Mr. Ayodeji Ebo, said.

“The CBN will need to keep intervening at the interbank market to keep the naira-dollar exchange rate stable for that period,” he added.

A currency strategist at Ecobank Nigeria, Mr. Kunle Ezun, said, “If the rate remains at this level tomorrow, we expect the central bank to intervene in the interbank market with sales of dollars.”

Meanwhile, the Brent crude oil price closed at $62.36 a barrel on Wednesday.