₦airaland Forum

deepwater:
My chest!!!

Lawd acant take eet enimore

Fellow Nigerians retreat, retreat, astern, pedal astern
Take cover
Do not engaged these guys in any war, they will out gun us all, omo see missile even when the war has not started yet, the skies of Nairaland has been lit up with such missile and Akara bomb (one even said His title has changed to Oga now)

9 Juliet Alpha
This is delta echo echo paper whisky alpha tango echo Romeo
Come in

9 Juliet Alpha how do you copy?

I repeat, retreat! Retreat! These guys are over board.
Fasten all hatches and close all emergency exits
Don your life jackets, engage all life saving appliances and brace up for impact.

This is a rouge wave!!!

How do you copy?

This is not a DRILL WITH KENYAS

Over and out



I am sorry, with those lines above, we are far from being ready. When I see readiness, I know one.

Correct... I like your style. You seem to be the novel reading type. Can we share titles? Action thrillers only, please.

Martinez19:
forgive my childishness.

Your sins are forgiven bro... Have a happy Sunday

Martinez19:
the masters of the human skull are sharp indeed

Both of you clowns should be flogged for derailing this beautiful thread...

Nukualofa:
Benue has gone underground without you doing anything and you are here trying to be partisan. Which roof will you point to as your ancestral home in 2019




Your case is that of a man who can't satisfy his wife in bed but auditioning to act Porn

Chillz you have not... Finishing you have plenty....

TheFreeOne:


Why not use that cash to ameliorate the conditions of your people in benue who's been ravaged by flood instead of making useless noise on Nairaland.

If you think sensible Nigerians will support your brain cripple zombie king come 2019 then you are in for a rude shock.

See another finishing... Weh done sir!

Make una free the the guy joor... He is entitled to his own opinion...
But then APC will still be kicked out...

Obun girl, i could see that she feels at home, pray for more flood for you my sis.

vilmu:
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Since you couldn't contribute to the thread other than market your business...
Anybody that is interested in 3D Animation should visit YouTube and Udemy for Free Coupons.
Nansense!!!

budosky:
Visit d fiverr website without a VPN, enter your Nigerian phone number, get verified. ( No worries, you won't be deported)

Lol.. Figured it out already.
Thanks.

budosky:
What service(s) do you offer on Fiverr? maybe I can outsource you

Content creation
Copywriting
Proofreading
Editing

Lets check out the outsource thing

Principal: Chief Bayode. Up school!!

stanisbaratheon:
Hmmm...

I laughed so hard at the attached pic.. Kindly send me the link to the original post (Twitter, FB , wherever).

NwaAmaikpe:


Imagine LASG advising people to stay indoors during the rain.

Are they want to curb the growing population.


The average rainy weather is the "weather for two"
That's why most pregnancies occur during the rainy season.


My people, times are hard; things are bad, pampers is costly...if you like yourself and you have a woman, better don't stay at home when it is raining.

I used to think all your comments are out of track but this one na "true talk"

Shey this Naija wey I dey abi another one?

They don't flush the toilet... SMH

kevoh:
I'm even angrier. Even our London based President will not miss the chance to score.

Oh my God! You guys won't kill me with laughter..
Yakubu was a disaster in Nigeria football

asuustrike2009:
Don't worry the government is working ....

Sure... since 1845 BC Na today?? Mtchew..

abimic:
I should start paying personal income tax so that I can be participating in funding our president's medical bill abroad. Me i no get money to waste over the President medical funding, they should develop our country from the gains of our natural resources. Period! So that melaye and Co can be flaunting exotic, expensive cars on social media.. Nonsense! ordinary Evans, dey no fit jail, but dey get strength to jail tax defaulters for 5yrs.

Bro, one cold fanta for you... Spot on!

asuustrike2009:
But again who's the government if not you and I?

Me? Government? I laugh in Urhobo.
Let me tell you who government is:

1) Government is that old man whose aeroplane fee in London can build a standard hospital in Nigeria.
2) Shey you see those old, fat men wey dey always collect money for coming to sleep in the house and whose major occupation is to make laws that allow them marry 13 year olds, that is government.
3) You... Hmmm... I dey suspect you. I don't have time tonight I would have investigated you. You are government too.

Me? Me? Government ke? Lol... Good night bro.

asuustrike2009:
Thank God the minister of finance is using N power to educate Nigerians on tax matters. Most Nigerians don't pay taxes. Their moral values are poor. Although the government share part of the blame but research works doesn't lie at all. I travel to different parts of Nigeria to study their attitudes and behavior and one of the thing observed is that many Nigerians have lost their values. An average Nigeria wants to enjoy benefits but don't want to pay for it. No wonder we keep seeing people be lynched and beaten on daily basis yet it doesn't serve as deterrent to others to learn. To even obey traffic light requires army men to be around that vicinity .
Yes the government isn't making effort but again who's the government if not you and I? .The leaders we have were once followers who blasted the government but when given opportunity to change the menace, the do worst.

.

Thank God you said the government is to blame.
The ones I personally have been paying, I am yet to see the results and you think I will use spoon to fetch water to the ocean?
Emi nitemi, mi o le fi sibi pon omi sinu okun. Iyen a tun je omi okun to wulo.
Good night bro.
If I start, we won't finish this.

SaulRazor:
Thanks , great response , I couldn't have put it better oo

Greetings sir. May you waka jeje and never stumble. Good night.

abumeinben:
One day, you'll find what you're looking for

You are one funny dude...

asuustrike2009:
That's not totally true. There are many Nigerians evading taxes inspite of government's effort. Using the word "No Nigerian " is understatement and a fallacy. Trace the history of taxation in Nigeria, you would find ought some resistance from some of Nigerians to tax

That's completely true..

asuustrike2009:
Do you have facts to back your claims or you just assumed?

Are you kidding me? Please start from first page and read all posts again. I could have given you much facts but I don't have time for this sh.it

SaulRazor:
Do we need facts to know that every single Item in Nigeria has VAT on it...It seems you live abroad from your tone because anybody that stays in Nigeria know about double taxation on goods by local govt , state and FG

I doubt this guy/girl lives in Nigeria. If he does, he is obviously AJEBUTTER who isn't aware of real life happenings in the country.

Meanwhile, they should kukuma use the 2017 budget to build more prisons coz people wey FG dey owe tax and Wey no ready to pay more plenty.

PS: If you quote me and I refuse to reply, you should know that your comment isn't worth my time. Thank you.
SunneDee

Rakitic4:
1. Nations like USA and North Korea are testing ballistic missiles and Nuclear weapons. Our dear country is dragging Jollof rice supremacy with Ghana and Senegal. Bikonu who did this to us? .

2. Have been having chest pain since one slay queen told me "Beauty Lies In The Eyes Of The *Decoder*" Abeg Sis, which decoder DSTV abi GOTV Hold me abeg I no wan faint .

3.That awkward moment When you are too single that even when you type "kissing" auto correct changes it to "kidding."...... May your story change in this 2017 .

4.People on WhatsApp that their status has been "At the gym" for the past 3 yrs..Please are you preparing to destroy the world? .

5.You will tell a guy you're single and he will be like "That can't be TRUE" Uncle, if you want toast, toast, don't be dragging my singleness with me, is it your singleness?? .

6.Some boys will wake up 2am to pee and they will post "Real Hustlers Don't Sleep" Idiot Who are You Deceiving Don't touch me ooo, Am not feeling fine. .

7.Some guys and their indirect insults sha. Please what is the meaning of "As I see that trouser, I just know say na you" Wicked pple... .

8. The reason why Nigerian women did not go to the Olympics in Brazil because they were afraid of meeting the owners of their hair! BRAZILIAN HAIR .

9. Disaster is when you steal meat from the pot, and you can't recall whether the spoon was on top or inside the pot. .

10. The way some people are black in NIGERIA ehhhh ,if you shoot dem in the night...the bullet will come back to you and ask for torchlight. .

11.When You Want to Charge your phone In a Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The DSTV during penalty shoot out.. shey you remember when your mum always tell you that your phone will kill you one day ?.. The moment has finally come.. Just get ready to die .

12. People will be doing "is that one this,is that one that" thats how they will do when trumpet blow,they will say "trumpet that blow and left me behind,is that one trumpet?? .

13. In Hollywood Merlin will just say two words and a fire breathing dragon will appear. In Nollywood ike mbe of amadioha shrine will recite a whole book of incantations (280 pages) just to off candle Then he will tell you to bring the following - 8 virgin rats - 10 married ants - 3 pregnant mosquitoes - 2 lesbian hens To appease the Gods naija i respect una hustle...

14. That awkward moment when a 5'star Hotel attendant tells you Bottle of Coke is N1500 You will be Like ! "I mean Coke, Asin the Mineral type.. Not Alcoholic one " i mean the normal coke dat looks like Pepsi.

15. That moment wen your phone battery is 3%, seeing your landlord upload a pic with His family on Facebook and you quickly try to comment "Kul People" but auto correct changed it to "Cult People" just before your battery went off See!!! Don't bother trying to explain, just find another house...

You made my day sir/ma. Thank you!!!

Because this thread is not about tonto or celebrity, see how it is dry.
Nice one op.
Will consider it sha.

[quote author=alonzoiv post=55857895]Na so e dey start. This one good, that one good, Na him dey make mad man gather plenty load./quote]
OMG!
You are a clown bro.
Nice one.

onatisi:
I just like that man atiku

Any special reason for that?

As far as I am concerned there is no need recycling old garbage ( sorry, politicians).

onatisi:
Alhaji Abubakar Atiku
AAA 2019
lets start a new process

Onatisi!!!!!

Pharrell007:
I like the out feet of her in making something difference but that's not how to personalize your personality

outfit sir

None.
Use as biofuel to generate electricity or cooking gas and thank me later.

lalasticlala:
I didn't graduate from ESUT

One cannot jejely come to nairaland again without embarrassing himself with laughter?
Chai!!!!
Funny dude

TruthisGOD:
Both emails are correct; chukwudiohaegbulam30@yahoo.com, chukwudiohaegbulam43@gmail.com. Maybe type it than copy and paste, I think it'll go. Thanks.

Resent.
Please acknowledge receipt.
Cheers

infogenius:
PM seems not be working.
send to my mail infogenius33@yahoo.com
Thanks.

Resent.
Please acknowledge receipt

Wow! so true and very funny