₦airaland Forum

BABE and coogar if you two still have any sense you'll take this out of here, like how stupid are you two?

OP you sound like someone with serious women issues.


Therapy will help that's if you are not gay, if you are, you should be fighting to be able to legally get married, instead of wasting time speaking ill of women.

slimmy05:
Because she said she doesn't want to feed her husband in prison? Then she doesn't deserve the First Lady seat?

If their personal doesn't interest you then why not free her imperfection.

Are you new to Nigeria and the happenings in it or what?

Do you actually realize what it means to be a public figure, more so a first lady?

Once again, this isn't her personal life, you don't hear me complaining of how she decides to feck GEJ, do you?

slimmy05:
I understand. You asked a question so I asked also to get clarification.

She is indeed a loving wife to GEJ and he has no regrets whatsoever. If you know how they started, GEJ today is Mama peace.

Their private life is not my business, what she decides to do officially/publicly is. She just doesn't exhibit decorum, does she realize she is a reflection of GEJ and Nigeria even?

No live-in relatives for me.

slimmy05:
that you are better than her? Or what?

This has nothing to do with me, I'm not first lady so you can't talk about me being better than her or not.

The issue here is that, she causes too much embarrassment to the highest office in the land.

Na wa o.

I can't stop wondering how this woman became first lady.

I don't get it.

Is the judge alright at all?

You go fear sexy na.

Chai! Lekwa money, I gats make am for this life.

No na, how can you ask your hubby to choose between you and his mother? Ha!

I however think that if they both can't get along, the MIL should leave but atleast it should be done with diplomacy.

Shollypopzz:
I wouldn't like to go back and forth with this because I don't even believe this drama but she mentioned that in her posts. He also talked about his dislike for friends and family and explained that he believes they are having a negative impact on her.

We would have to agree to disagree on verbal abuse leading to physical abuse.

Okay, but you do know that some friends can have a negative impact on someone right? I've seen it happen.

The dude abused her alright and I used to think no level of provocation should make you hit someone but if we are being realistic, we know that's not true, especially if you try to remove yourself from the situation but got restrained, there is only so much a person can take ultimately.

Ewuro4:
NO... The thread has fufilled it's purpose.. The couple will def make up and be happy again.

Let me finish this unfortunate space waster

Please, you both are our big Aunties, make una lead us by example na.

Kiss and make up, na family section we dey o, family love and support each other, biko nu.

Shollypopzz:
...but that is not the case. He didn't flee the situation, he is not in danger. The person that felt threatened for his/her safety was the woman, that is why she left.

He never said she hit him first. He was the one that talked about hitting her numerous times and felt that she deserved it. I am not pushing all the blame on him. In fact, I have no opinion about the thread until I saw your comment insinuating that verbal abuse is an excuse for physical abuse.

"She chose to stick with a man who thinks of her in that manner, that one is entirely her fault." You miss the point of my last sentence. Those words are the words of an abusive person. The "no one can love you but me" is a very common statement made by men who abuse their wives both emotionally and physically. Separating her from her friends and family is also a common trait among abusers. To be frank, he has displayed more abusive tendencies than the woman.

I thought he made to leave and she stopped him, no? She took his phone and smashed it, she reached for things to hit him with, abi did I read it all wrong?

No no no, I didn't say verbal abuse is an excuse for physical abuse, I said it's as bad as and in most cases, verbal abuse brings about physical abuse, it starts with words and then comes the blows.

He was wrong to have hit her but from his thread, it can be deduced that he tried to stop her when it was getting out of hand but she wouldn't have it which thus further escalated the whole thing.

Are we sure he said those words and like that? I didn't see that part.

Ewuro4:
Face your opponent and don't start what you can't finish BEATRICE, are you mad? Dem swear for una?
Your crippled father is the one dancing kokoma on the side to ashes and hell. Unfortunate daughter of a gun.

I'm almost done my paperwork ... Will get back to finish this shortly.

May Amodiah coupled with your Mother in law finish you and strike you dead.

Chukwu di nso .

Mba nu.

bukatyne:
Did the OP ever blame the guy for getting her pregnant?

Must have missed it.

Was that reply to the OP?

coogar:
unfortunately, that's the way of the world these days. 21st century women - they want rights but they want no responsibility. i am starting to think the dude artificially inseminated her while she was sleeping or she got pregnant immaculately.

That is not possible na. You have to take responsibility for the rights you have or want.

I seriously hate that "he got her pregnant" mentality, pisses me the feck up.

bukatyne:
The woman is abusive for calling the father of her child bla bla on NL but nothing to the guy who accuses his babymama 's daddy of abandoning her to his face.

Interesting.

I think you should read my other posts.

Rose2014:
@your last paragraph
From your posts, your daughter cannot even come back to someone like you because as far as your posts go, she deserves to be killed for not listening to you

Again remember you can't dictate who she falls in love with

I seriously don't know how you understand what you read from my posts.

Did you not see where I wrote that I will try to remove her from the situation? I can understand making an error in judgment, I however will not support continuous stup1dity.

Ha! Na wa for you o.

cococandy:
. Exactly. She did the right thing.

We are hearing about this ish because the dude couldn't get over his God complex and accept that she left because he was not treating her right.
What he did was to create a thread justifying his beating her as if "how dare she leave when she was the one who made me do it"

If she didn't leave, he wouldn't have opened that thread.

Yea, I am just more interested in the fact that they are both abusive and shouldn't be together till they can both be responsible people.

If he's feeling like "how dare she leave" then he is on a very long thing.

Rose2014:
Finally before I step out of the thread


The level of hypocrisy on nairaland is nauseating
People like sweetcocoa are here blaming op why she chose the guy and whether she was taped bla bla bla and bragging about what they would've done if it was their child.
Yet if someone opens a thread asking for advise on whether she should accept someone without her parents approval, u'll start hearing things like 'it's your life', 'your parents cannot dictate for you' etc

Now this one has gone wrong and she's termed irresponsible girl that should've listen to her parents. Be careful what u say sha
Karma doesn't fail to react

God is watching all of you

Lol .

Madam you funny o, where is the hypocrisy in my post abeg? I'm still saying the same thing, You choose what to do and whatever the outcome of it, you take responsibility.

If you choose to listen to your parents and it works for you, great.

If you choose not to listen to them and it doesn't work for you, that's your problem.

If you choose to listen to them and it doesn't work for you, that's also your problem.

In the end, the choice is all yours and that's where "it is your life" comes in.

Where did I term her irresponsible for not listening to her parents?

Rose2014:
Yes I'll say that again
This guy is a coward that cannot near his fellow men out there in a fight
He beat her because she's his baby mama

Also don't forget her family wasn't in support so she'll do everything in her power to stay with the beast. Now for her to brace up with all the shame and move back to same parents shows how much she has endured in mcdokwe's hands
So u're saying if ur daughter dates an abuser and he kills her, you will be happy abi because she didn't listen to you?

May whatever we support reach our hand. Amen
For me I can never wish any such treatment on my daughter no matter what because honey guess what? U can't dictate for your child who to fall in love with. It's a heart thing

The op knows he's dealing with a calm family that's why he's insulting them up and down after impregnating her outside wedlock and giving her what he described as 'deadly blows' twice in one day

You are obviously still missing the point. I am not supporting the OP, I just don't think it is fair to blame him for something they are both responsible for.

You keep saying he got her pregnant as if he tied her hands and leg, then inserted a baby inside her, they both got pregnant, she gave consent for sanity's sakes.

How can I be happy if my daughter is with an abuser? I just won't go about blaming him alone after I have warned her about him, I will do my best to remove her from the situation and if she insists and he kills her, well she's dead and she chose to die, the dude will also face my wrath and that of the law, the point here remains, she chose to stay.

Are you saying women should stick to "beasts" because they got pregnant and their families rejected them? If staying with him is the better option, why won't he feel like a god and treat her anyhow?

bestestgirl:
Chai! I am almost falling in love already, did you study hypnosis by any chance? I can see why the Op will believe it when you tell her that she is responsible for your problems.
It is well my brother, kontinu

You are crazy you know, right? .

That's why you should never let anyone walk all over you, we all have powers and should use them.

cococandy:
as you wish. Obviously the babe has taken responsibility for her actions by moving on. So na you know wetin you dey talk again.

it's not just about the lady now,if you had seen that she too was at fault, we wouldn't be having this discussion and just as na me know wetin I dey talk, na you also know wetin you dey talk again too, after all, you follow dey the thread dey blame OP.

Rose2014:
Sweetheart I'll give you this advise cos I see you're much younger
1. When it comes to raising kids, pls never make mouth about what they could become or what could happen to them. Not every irresponsible child has irresponsible parents
2. There's no way the guy showed all these traits in the beginning and the op went ahead to get preggy for him. You can never tell the heart of a man or woman so u can never be sure of even the person u think is good for you or for your daughter

As time goes on, you'll begin to understand these words I said to you today.
Be careful what u say cos of tomorrow

For me,even if mcdokwe is my son, I can never ever support him hitting the mother of his child especially when she already had a child for him outside wedlock. Do u know how much trauma it carries in this our society. To make matters worse,Beat her after impregnating her with no dime as bride price, even open a thread to describe the kind of blows he gave her, insult her father. Jeezzz
Don't forget the guy replied her friend's message(which is what brought up this whole drama) talk about controlling!
On a very serious note,I don't think I'll wish op's condition for my enemy

Pathetic to say the least

For starters, age is not a prerequisite for wisdom, now let's move on.

1. It's not like am making mouth about what my kids will become, I said I'll do my part by teaching them to make better judgments like my mum taught me and it's been working for me because I chose to listen, now if my kid decides not to listen, especially when she is of age, why should I suffer for that? Why should I absorb her of responsibility when she decided to be irresponsible?

2. I disagree, the signs are always there, people are just often too blinded to see it, except the dude became who he is overnight, even in which case, she should have packed and ran instead of staying to exchange punches and invectives.

You shouldn't support him ofcourse but you shouldn't support her hitting/insulting him too and stop saying he's not supposed to hit her because she bore him a child and is a woman, he is not supposed to hit anyone, that's what you should be preaching.

Shollypopzz:
Verbal/Emotional abuse takes skills that this woman does not have. If the op could raise his hands on her multiple times and claim or realize that she deserved it, he is not showing the signs of an abused man. What makes verbal/emotional abuse powerful is that the abused tend to think he/she deserved the treatment he/she got. Who the abuser is becomes very unclear in the mind of the abused.

There is a reason verbal abuse is not a crime. You cannot put your hands on someone because they insulted you, if you cannot retaliate verbally, then leave the situation. He threw the first punch.

Btw, he told her that he was the only person who could love her, that she was responsible for all their problems,.......... This man is not innocent.

If your being verbally abusive puts the abused in fear of their well being or safety then you can be arrested for it.

Do you realize she also hit him? I think first sometimes sef, I'm not saying he is a victim, I'm saying they both are abusive so don't push all the blames to him.

She chose to stick with a man who thinks of her in that manner, that one is entirely her fault.

cococandy:
lol. Planned ke? that was you reading multiple meanings into a simple post


In the spirit of equality, she's moving on and taking care of her shiit.

He should do same. At least now he knows he's not the only one who can 'love' her.
She's loving herself and her family is there too.

Imagine a man who think this kind of love is all she deserves from everybody in the world. He must think she's beneath scum.

No, that was me using your words.

I have said it countless times that I'm not supporting the OP but I hate it when grown a$$ women can't take responsibility for the actions they take.

I wouldn't date a guy that treats me that way and if I do, I should be totally blamed for it, well unless I'm an 1mbecile with no mind of my own.

He is not innocent just like the OP isn't, that is my point.

Rose2014:
@sweetcocoa defending mcdokwe
I hope you'll say the same if an abuser gets his hand on your daughter tomorrow, sexing her like no man business, impregnates her outside wedlock and gives her the type of blows he himself described here, and insults your husband

Just because this another person's daughter, u're asking if she was raped.
Let's be careful. Karma never dissapoints


If this lady was abusive as u paint her, she could've silently cut his JT that night or at least before moving on. Just saying

wtf are you talking about? If my daughter packs her beg to go live with a man she's not married to, then whatever she gets, is her beeswax.

I will do my part by teaching her to make better judgments, you hear me? I will actually bury my head in shame if this OP is my daughter because as far as I'm concerned, I failed as a parent, I'm in my mid 20's and I've never gotten pregnant and if happen to get pregnant tomorrow, I will take full responsibility so long as I wasn't raped.

Women too were created with common sense, is it a crime to use it? You go out with a guy, get pregnant, decide to have the baby and you turn around to solely blame the guy? What kinda thinking is that one?

Lol @ cutting his JT, why do you all think it is only abuse when someone gets hit?

cococandy:
This has nothing to do with equality. They made a mess together. He was supposed to be supportive. He wasn't. Instead he taunted her for a mistake he contributed to. She reacted as a normal human would and his answer was to beat her up.

I don't get how equality has anything to do with this issue.

Do you guys just bring it up to sound politically correct or what?


Say this lady hepled him make a mess of his life for example financially and when others ridicule him for it,she joins to ridicule him and call him irresponsible, if he reacts hurt like is expected, would we talking about equality and how he's not supposed to be pained because he's trying to show equality?

Nairaland!

Everything jumbled into one. Related or not

Nothing is being jumbled here, you said he is the architect(emphasis on the word 'architect'), by saying so, you absorbed her of any responsibly, you actually said the OP planned it all, that's why I brought up equality, because you sounded like he should take the crap because he "got" her pregnant.

I read the dude's thread and I read the OP's. He didn't just start taunting her did he? He told her friend not to come to his house, she started insulting him and a fight ensued, now how is it all his fault?

He has his own faults ofcourse but I don't agree with you all supporting the lady because she is a woman, apportion blames accordingly is all I'm saying.

yagbaboy1:
I understand ur point cocoa, but the fact she is calling names and making moving on look grand made me input that
And u self busy body, why u come dey quote me I call ur name. BTW wether u agree or not, it's d man Dat bleeps d woman. Shikina

All of us for this thread na busybody so anybody fit quote anybody.

You believe what you want to but my man and I feck each other, period.

Na firewood, that's what I heard.