₦airaland Forum

chaircover:
You should have told your husband already . . . what are you scared of?
I would have told my hubby there and there . . I wont even let the guy leave my home
Unless I wasnt sure about his intentions . . .even then I will still tell my hubby so that we can be more careful round this person till he is caught red handed.

What an insult
In my own home for that matter. Is he mad?

@poster you need to wake up
Not everyone round your hubby is supposed to be there
This is not a good friend and should therefore have no biz being round you or your husband
Today its you, next time he could be touching up your daughter or your kid sister living with you . . & they may not have a voice.
Ma gba igbaku gba o!

They were the ones visiting the guy.

The guy has no respect whatsoever for his friend and wife.

asadike:
example pls

Example of what are you asking? The comment is self explanatory.

Still, I'm just saying, I find it weird that you advice her to think carefully before telling her husband, talking about being easily provoked etc.

Anyways, I guess asking if she should tell, already shows that something might be wrong in that marriage.

asadike:
Be careful here. Think carefully, you know your man better, how do u think he will handle it? Is he d type that is easily provoked? D way you approach him is very important. I will prefer you tell him but only when he is in a more lighter mood.

The world will be a better place, if people married someone they don't have to be scared to talk to.

grandlexuz:
Yeah very inhumane sweetcocoa. You see in my area we are known to be worse than beasts. No one here has affection for children the way people in your area do..We can even kill our kids for stealing a cube of sugar..Lol

You may not see it for what it is and I won't totally blame you for it, it's what the system gave you.

menix:
Wonderful!!!!
Is he sex starved to ve had a hard on..
Pls post wat u were puttin on cous am sure u were addressed d way u were dressed.

Y tell ur husband? Its now left to u to avoid him lik plague.
'Tomorrow is pregnant', don't spoil dat relationship btw them cous of somthing u can deal wiv...

What nonsense! this is disgusting to say the least.

Really? Some people actually advised her to put her hubby's relationship with the guy in consideration before deciding to tell, seriously?

What kind of friend does what he did? I'd rather my husband not be friend's with such person.

grandlexuz:
[b]You see in addition to wanting to "DO" his mum and sister this little fella has got a strong character. From what I noticed he is NEVER satisfied with his share of food. I find it a little disturbing that he steals even from the pot. A neighbour gave the mum some stuffs to keep in her fridge and this guy dealt with it. I don’t need to mention that he is the most stingy kid I know.. After this "DO" encounter I became acquainted with the family and would stop from time to check how he was doing. First I noticed he would never share his things with me. He equally would not share biscuits given to him by me.. When I take with force he will cry till thou kingdom come.. I visited them once when he was eating with the sister… You needed to see his pace of eating..Lol All that in a bit to eat more than the sister.. That is common amongst kid. However the little shock was that when he felt like passing out urine, he did right where they were eating.. Why? Because leaving to go outside to pass urine would let the sister eat more.. During the Christmas period I passed around to give them some toys and Christmas dresses. When I got there the door was closed but there was serious crying inside. I peeped from the window and noticed the six month old was on the ground crying. Apparently he had fallen from the chair.. Our fella was sitting on that same chair. Imagine his younger brother crying and falling to the ground with no show of concern from this guy.. He was there manipulating the mother’s phone.[/b]

How old is this kid again?

This child is the victim here please, with so much tying of hands and beating from his mum/strangers always, what do you expect?

grandlexuz:
I am not an expert on child abuse, but I think you can't rule every situation in life based on book theories! Life is so diverse and very funny things happen at times for the weirdest of reasons! As much as it is possible that this child could have have been exposed to sexual abuse, judging by his other comportment I personally do rule out sexual abuse as a 100% likely to be the the cause behind his sexual fantasies..

What do you think the problem is?

InvertedHammer:
/
To get a girl is one thing, but to keep the girl is another thing.
And if you have to expend all these efforts to get a girl's attention, what time will the guy have to build himself and his career?
The most boring guy with a lot of expendable income always wins. You will be surprised at how money cures boredom.


\

Why do you make it sound like you can't have a girlfriend and still be successful? You are supposed to use this on a girl you fancy, it's not as if you are told to go about trying that on every girl.

I used to date one of the best teasers there is, dude teased me like his life depended on it, I would even form vex at some points, he still wouldn't stop till I will end up laughing out loud like a lunatic. Very funny guy.

Good one OP.

ileobatojo:
Where's the OP? Has the mom been alerted of what could be happening? Please tell her to be very gentle with that child. This is not the time to be harsh.

I have a big fear that the older brother may be the perp. (Reason? The boy's doing it to others in the family but not the brother.) If it's the brother, again, it would be a continuing cycle of abuse. Someone must have abused the older brother too.

If it's not the older brother, it's probably a female pedophile since he's only acting out on females.

I suspect he's abuser is female too, I think his brother is been there for about 3 weeks or so, what this kid is exhibiting is not a damage that was done in 3 weeks.

Dheartless:
when I was below 5 years, I didn't know how to say it.

when I was 9-11, I thought it would have been embarrassing on my own part and I was ashamed to tell it to my parents.....because of this "as long as any of their child was around their vicinity my parents never really talked about sex and none of their children dare show any sexual knowledge else you will be tagged a spoilt child"

Okay.

This is why parents should educate their kids and be close to them.

If you had felt safe you would have been able to tell your folks, there wouldn't be any need feel ashamed because it wasn't your fault.

carefreewannabe:
I have not said he wants to experiment, have I?

Anyway, I won't say 100% when I don't even know the boy and his family. However, I suppose that the most likely scenario is that he has fallen victim to child abuse and therefore acts the way he does.

What is sad is that adults try to correct him by beating him up when the child needs help. I don't blame them. They don't know better. I am just sad for the child.

You are saying there's a chance, he has not been abused.

I don't need to know 100%, the one I know based on what he is exhibiting is enough, this is not normal behavior for a 4 years old, he's already exposed to so much sexual activities.

It's really sad his people know no better.

carefreewannabe:
I also suspect that he has been abused but we cannot be 100% sure.

That kid has been abused and is addicted, that's not him wanting to experiment, he's been called out on this so many times without any change, what makes him keep repeating it?

It's been or is being done to him and he can't/don't know how to deal with what he is feeling, the only way he knows, is the way his abuser taught him.

Dheartless:
this is pitiful!
its definitely molest originated,
I can testify to it, but how I got out of that distorted mind set, I really don't know, I was just a strong boy at heart and hate public disgrace and I was always attending Church service (m.f.m) with my parents, I guess that was what kept me sane, until I became a grown man who was fully able and wants to keep his integrity

molest can really affect the male child in a terrible way
molest cases I encountered:
by my relations I was below 5 (an older girl child and a boy child)
by my elder brother's girl, I was below 10
by a neighbour ( a single mum), I was 9-10
by my friend's elder sister, I was 10-11
I never told any one, it was really hard to get my mind stable, I was always sad about my feelings and thoughts, I almost became a sex addict ( I was sleeping with so many girls in my secondary school days, I didn't even care who and what they are), if not because I love to keep my pride from a tender age I wouldn't have recovered.
please do find him professional help, cause I don't not think you can deal with this alone and always keep him busy with other good activities he loves, e.g children comedy cartoons, play grounds with other kids,TV games... just to keep his thought away from sex and also to keep him happy.

This is serious, glad you overcame it.

Hope you don't mind my asking why you told no one?

I bet, I would have told my mum if something like that happened to me.

A friend's kid(9)came back from school one day and told her mum, how one of her teachers(a guy)told her to follow him to his house, so he'll give her what he kept for her but that she should not tell anyone about it, she said she asked him why he bought something for her and he said it's cos she's a good student and deserves something, she then told him, she wasn't allowed to go anybody's house without her mum's approval, so he had to ask her mum, after which, he told her to forget about it.

Dude was arrested.

Haa!

I don't get it, why did the OP use 'Lol' at the end? Is this supposed to be funny?

This kid is something else compared to your average 4 years old, the boy is being sexually abused or has been abused to the point he's now addicted.

Imagine tying a 4 years old and threatening to cut his thing, that's inhumane, his mother isn't helping at all, bet, the boy no longer responds to their brutality, hence his behavior, smh.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

Irresistible.? In your dreams
If so then he is not an alpha male. An alpha male don't find anyone irresistible, it is the opposite way round.

Then you know little about the kind of women an alpha male is attracted to.

I suggest you read more on what it
means for someone to be irresistible.

Or wait o, you think an alpha male dates just any woman? You have to have something he admires and respects alot, you have to be challenging to be able to hold his attention. Dude, you still dey learn o.

RoyalRoy:
How sweet is your cocoa?

Lol, abeg free me o.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

I was the experience?

Duh! I don't know you dude,I have been with one and I currently am with 1.

I have something that the men find irresistible, it attracts them.

obiak4:
and what would you do if your hubby cheat? Fight i guess
women noeadays go to marriage for the wrong reasons that why so many unfaithfulness
just pray jah leads us right

Fight ke, why would I want to do that?

Like someone already rightly said, you can't possibly like everyone and don't even have to, you just have to be fair to all.

babyfaceafrica:
good continue the good work,may God bless you with understnding and humility

Thanks, brother.

Good points.

babyfaceafrica:
that's why I think I should kust chip in some words....look unless u pass ur message well people aint gonna like it...dats the problem freecocoa has,she has a good message but passes it strongly and does not care what oda people tinks ,she nt gonna get support like dat unless she does not need support...you need to carry people along an let dem know that its not that you are man hating but your views are genuine... Well for me I fink feminism has been derailed from its actual purpose naw women use it as a weopen to get incentives...anyday anytime I will prefer women empowerment to any feminist movement

Ouch! Funny story, freecocoa and sweetcocoa is one and same person.

Guess, she's grown a lot in the last years, yea, freecocoa has some nuts running loose sometimes, not so much these days anyways..

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

Have u met an alpha male before?

Take a guess.

babyfaceafrica:
well,I am more of a ghost memeber here but I hve been following you and freecocoa post nd I am amused...its either you gals ont communicate your opinions well or you just don't understand it..you are more approachable so let me know what you fink

Actually, I think it's most folks here that don't get it. They say feminism is man hating, yet we have male feminists, I support feminism.

babyfaceafrica:
what do u think about feminism?

Lol, why the sudden twist to that?(don't get me wrong, I can discuss it)just wanna know why you asked.

babyosisi:
This is why I started with a disclaimer that I am by no way perfect and has never claimed to be
I told my real life story without a gun to my head
I would have told it to suit whichever way I wanted but I chose to share my story exactly like it happened it was not in relation to any advise.


On a side note,do you know that I have no clue what it is or feels like to be dumped
I have never been dumped
Maybe because I never even gave the light of day to any man that wasn't a potential husband material and gave no face to players or was ever swayed by material possession.

Me too, confidence is a very good thing I tell ya .

Rajjah:
hmmmmm

Yea, it's that intense.

Achilies:
[color=#000099][/color]

Na who be this?

Someone.

Btw,I meant alpha males are my kinda guys, not you specifically.

babyfaceafrica:
please understand something,feeling jealous is normal but the action you take because of jealousy says much about how u handle issues,just make sure you are doing what is expected from your side before feeling someone is dishonest with you.lastly cherish your partner and do all that you can do within your power not to let the relatiosnhip crumble....the most important of which is be reasonable

Yea, I mentioned somewhere that, healthy jealousy is allowed and can be cute.

She prolly started drinking before I was born so I won't really be bothered, it has to be responsible drinking though as far as her health allows it, I'd be more comfortable if it was good wine.