I remember at the age of 13, a few weeks after I had succumbed to the calls of Mother Nature – my first period came – one of my mother’s friends called me into the living room to speak to me about something ‘important’. She had waited until her son had gone out to play and like a paranoid old woman, bolted the door hastily making sure the security door chain was tightly fixed to avoid any unwanted interruptions.

She began with, ‘you are now on your way to become a fully grown woman, and before you do that there are some things that your mother asked me to tell you.’ There we were for thirty minutes, my face slowly turning into a mucky shade of green as she graphically explained the process of labia elongation or in Kinyarwanda: Gukuna Imishino/ Guca Imyeyo. The term guca imyeyo literally means ‘to cut brooms’ – girls used to go out in the bushes in a group, and when asked where they were going they would reply that they were going out in the bush to look for grass, which they would turn into brooms. Although men know about the practice now, traditionally they were not meant to know, which is why they came up with a respectable name for labia elongation.

For those who do not know, it is a process whereby a girl who is in her puberty stage gently pulls her inner labia outwards (away from her body) by applying force on them using special herbs which girls are trained to search for in the Rwandan bushes – these act both as a lubricant and to make the labia swell slightly so it is easier to grab. However for those of us outside Rwanda, we are advised to use unfragranced lubricants, or nothing at all. Every day for 10-20 minutes girls pull all along the length of the labia from top to bottom so that after a while their general shape remains unchanged, but their protrusion beyond the outer labia increases; this daily ritual may go well into adulthood, some even carrying on when they are married.

Later on that night as I waited for sleep to engulf me I replayed the words in my mind – I had never taken time to ask why this was required of me and for whose purpose it was. I was simply told what it was and how it was to be done. I felt slightly grossed out, how could they ask me to distort the shape of my jewels, let alone sit there looking at myself down there? I just put this at the back of my mind; there was no way I was going to conform to this vulgar practice!

Ten years later while on a trip in Brussels, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who had just come from Rwanda where despite major Western influences, the practice is still very much alive. She described some pretty distressing scenes whereby girls in boarding schools would sit in a row facing each other and pull each other’s labia while catching up on the latest gossip. To me it just sounded like a scene from an X-rated film but I had been taught never to challenge our cultural values in a public setting, so I kept quiet. Recently, I listened to a Rwandan radio program which made me understand labia elongation better and why such scenes as described by my friend were common. The sexperts on the show, explained that when girls pulled their labia in a group, it not only gave them a sense of belonging but it also helped them to know that it was not something they were to be ashamed of. Furthermore, it helped girls to get a snippet of the pleasure they would feel with their husbands when they got married.

Contrary to the belief that in Africa, --- is usually the man climbing on top of the woman to do his business and snore once its over; in Rwanda --- is a process and men are expected to make their wives ------ (kurangiza) and ejaculate (kunyaza). Hardly what I would call a ten minute job. Labia elongation is supposed to make this easier to achieve because when the lips are long they are easier to grab and play with during pre-intimacy, they fully cover the ----- and cause more friction during penetration and for the women, that area becomes even more sensitive due to the pulling and thus, the act of tapping the ----- on her lips will allow her to ejaculate.

For this reason, a woman on her wedding day is given a special mat (ikirago/umusambi) which she uses to protect the mattress from getting soiled when having sexual intercourse with her husband. It had never occurred to me that the beautifully patterned banana fibre mats that I saw many Rwandan brides receive as presents were for that purpose. I thought they were used for the same thing we used them for at home; as a child our maid would spread the mat under the avocado tree’s shade when the sun was very hot and we would feast on our Saturday lunch. Little did I know!

A documentary that was filmed in Rwanda and broadcasted in Canada called Le Sexe (Autour du Monde) spoke to a variety of Rwandan women about the cultural practice and how they felt about it; while the older and less educated women said it was something they could never question and would definitely encourage their daughters to do so that they would be able to find a husband and not bring shame to the family; the modern more educated woman said that even though it had its benefits, the woman who failed to ejaculate is blamed by the husband, and can be disgraced in front of her peers and sometimes thrown out of her marital home. But like every cultural practice, it has both its positives and negatives so we cannot pull wool over our eyes and condemn it without carefully considering both sides.

Labia pulling is not a new practice nor is it only done in Rwanda; having done a little bit of research, I found out that there were recorded sightings of women with elongated labia in the early 19th century, the most famous being of Sarah ‘Saartjie’ Baartman (The Hottentot Venus) from South Africa. She was brought over to Europe in 1810 and was paraded in a cage in Piccadilly Circus and later on in Paris to excited onlookers who wanted to see her gigantic buttocks and Instruments.

From random conversations with other African women, I learned that it is also done in Zimbabwe, Zambia and South Africa. Although there is no medical proof that a woman with elongated labia, has more sexual satisfaction than a regular woman – the amount of satisfied Rwandan women are sure a testimony that perhaps women all over the world need to start pulling their lips in order to cure fake orgasms.Rwanda has made some very positive progress with regards to empowering women; they have the highest level of female representation in parliament in the world and are doing so much more on the ground to close that gender gap. It looks like they may also have the most sexually satisfied women in the world, how about that? Sexually empowered women in Africa – bet you never thought ---, power, woman and Africa could be put in the same sentence.

http://www.orijinculture.com/communi...ia-elongation/

This is a serious problem. My boyfriend cannot kiss, he is such a terrible kisser to the point that i hate kissing him and do not enjoy kissing. Am i a bad person if i left him because of that?

I have tried to tell him, without hurting his feelings but it does not work.[color=#770077]Have even tried to show him but he just cant kiss. He leaves my lips bruised and it hurts and he is so messy .

The worst part is like he likes to kiss all the time like literally every minute and sometimes i cant even breathe. He is such a nice and cool guy, that's why it's so hard.

However just the thought of marrying him and suffering through his awful kisses is such a turn-off. Can kissing make or break a relationship? Please i need advice.

fabulousfortune: Immaturity is written all over this story. D Op nd her friend are so childish!

How am i childish?

Guys i promise you that this is 100% true! My friend had been seeing this guy for about 3 months and things were going very well. Last week it was his birthday so she took him to the cinema, restaurant and afterwards they went back to his house to chill.

While's she was there, her stomach started to seriously hurt (diarrhea) so she went to the toilet and did her business. She phoned me to tell me what was happening and i started laughing so she hung up. After about 10mins, she phoned me again and said that there was a serious problem and that there was no toilet roll and the toilet wouldnt flush. By this time, i was rolling around on the floor laughing and then she started crying, so i told her to just tell him and she said that the bathroom smelt so bad that she couldnt and that she would think of something.

About 2 hours later she phoned me from a different number and told me what happened. She said that she turned her phone off, used the towel in the bathroom then put it in the bath, put the toilet seat down and then climbed out of the window and ran to the bus stop. From there, she went home, had a shower then went to the shops to get herself a new sim card so that he couldnt contact her. So far, she hasnt bumped into him and he never went to her house so he doesnt know where she lives although he knows the area.

What would you have done if you were in her situation?

No, I don't believe that when you marry someone, you marry their family. You might marry INTO the family, but you are not married to them. You are married to the person that you said vows to. You and your spouse become a family and then both of your families become extended family.

The outcome of marrying a person who's parents you don't get along with depends on the spouse and how enmeshed he is with his parents, IMO. If the parents wants/needs/demands are placed above the spouse, there are going to be problems.

A lot of the time people don't realize the degree of their Inlaws problems when they get married. In my sister's case her MIL is incredibly manipulative and sneaky, and did not take her son getting married well. So, while she sorta knew that MIL and her didn't have a perfect MIL/DIL relationship, she had no idea that it would get much worse and lead where it has.
In general, finding Inlaws that you enjoy and get along with is a good idea. If my sister have known over where this Inlaw road would take her, she might have changed directions.

biolabee: Endtime

Why na black dey wear am sef

Well at least women can assess upfront like in the second pic The first pic looks really uncomfortable

Your Post's are so full of Generalisations that you cannot be taken seriously. Men cheat from every nationality and race so to make it seem like South African, Ghanaian and Nigerian men are so bad is simply idiotic. If you had bad experiences with such men, does not mean that they are all bad and that everyone feels the same way. Secondly you are who you attract. [color=#770077]The last part got me a bit confused. So you are saying women allow their men to cheat and have kids with other men? Seriously?Unless you are talking about Pologamy then i do not know which weed you are smoking but there is no such thing. A normal sane woman would not give their partners permission to cheat and have kids outside marriage.

I do not know why you are crucifying the op. Everyone has their wants whether it be educated, working etc just like men may have their own taste too.

Uyi Iredia: Not a Yvonne Nelson look-alike - as far as I know. Her reply to the OP makes me like her less.

Lmao so am i supposed to care

Wth

Eye of Horus I think i better reserve my comment

I am too much of a chicken to get a tattoo, well i do not think i am the tattoo type of person but tattoo's can be beautiful

Vanneni: True they both look alike.

You look like a model Nairaland has beautiful women

Princessmel:

Aww thanks both of you , you're really pretty too t3
And kessy you're good looking

Thank you

Kessythegeek: haba she neva still fine reach...:b no guy would wanna change a thing.

True talk. She is very beautiful

Princessmel:
I understand you, but in this day and age, it's hard to find someone with ALL the qualities I seek and my boyfriend is pretty close so if it's just a few changes, I see nothing bad

Well as long as he is not complaining i guess there is no problem. But what about you? Are you changing for him too?

Sexily Endowed:



Yvonne Nelson has finally joined Nairaland. Thank God my prayers have been answered But seriously you resemble her a lot

ROTFLMAO, I do not know why people say that because i do not see it. But thanks, will take it as a compliment. She is beautiful

I think it is bad. True love is accepting the person regardless of his/her faults and not changing the person into something he/she is not. Rather go for the person that has what you are looking for instead.

cool thread

This story is so touching, i am literally in tears. This lady is such a remarkable woman, i really do not think i would have been able to cope with all of this. You are truly amazing, an inspiration to everyone out there that if you can put your mind to it. Nothing is impossible. May God Bless you

It is all about Preference. People should be able to choose who they like. There is a woman/man out there for everyone

Nice