₦airaland Forum

Dreament:
am not Igbo, I can never be. Am a Southerner. We don't practice such useless religion in South south

Boss, you obviously don't know the meaning of religion. Get yourself a dictionary. Again, there is no tribe in the world that is known as South South. In the SS Nigeria, there are over 40 tribes with totally different cultures, religious, and languages. And just so you know, Igbo is one of the 10 biggest tribes in the SS. A little education will go a long way.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

You said you are already on the divorce process so you don't need help. Unless you are looking for a lawyer.

Dreament:
at the end who will suffer, the children. Because no matter what, they will be treated like an outcast in that community. The case Wii be worse if the new husband is not an Igbo man. Just imagine a man from my community saying he inherited children due to the moman tradition. Hmmmm those children will look for their paternal roots by all means. Because nobody will recognize them as children of the soil

Are you Igbo? If you are, you clearly don't know the culture. Taking up another family name is not a thing of shame. No one is mocked for it. They would not be the first to be adopted into another family.

Kobojunkie:
1.

Let me get this straight. Are you insinuating that it is OK to add ones own ideas to God's Law where God has not in fact said a thing?
That's exactly the mistake you are making. Christ never said Baptism does not bring about forgiveness. That is your personal opinion.

2. Saved from what? According to Jesus Christ, one who is baptized (born-again) is saved from Death aka the curse of sin(not to be confused with sin itself) - [b]John 3 vs 1 -21 . Why are you desperate to add your own private ideas to God's Law? [/b]
Now you are confused. Saved from sin and saved from the consequences of sin are not different. Again, you are projecting your opinion into the word of God. You believe that God will save those who are baptized but he will not forgive them? Is it even making sense to you?

3. You believe the Apostles yet you think it makes sense to inject your own delusions into God's Law? I bet they are rolling in their graves right now.

They can't be rolling in their graves. Here are their very words.
Listen and learn.
Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. Now I ask, do we believe you or do we believe Jesus Christ and his apostles? Please try and answer this question.

Kobojunkie:
My response was not a quote of the person of Jesus Christ but more a summarizing of parts of His teachings. According to Him,
● a man must be born-again to enter into the Kingdom of God.
● Only those who are born-again can then go on to be set free from slavery to sin by the Truth of God.
● God does not answer the prayers of the righteous but He answers all of he petitions of those who are Holy and righteous including their requests for forgiveness of sins

Therefore, Baptism(born-again) is the gate way that lead to forgiveness of sins.

2. John 3 vs 1 - 21 is Jesus Christ explaining that they are indeed saved from Death -- the condemnation of sin(not to be confused with sin itself)-- by way of the bonus Eternal life they receive just by signing up to the Kingdom of God. Jesus did not say anything about them being saved from sin. That assumption or leap was instead made by your person.

You are not still showing where Jesus Christ said baptism does not give a remission of sin so I assume that's just your personal opinion right?
Neither are you saying anything about Mark 16.16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
Is it not clear that baptism brings about forgiveness of sin? This is what happens when you don't believe the Apostles of Christ. You end up being confused.

Great100000:
Chelsea 3

Vs

Liverpool 1

All the players we signed under Todd Boehly, they are getting long term contracts

Imagine, Caicedo is getting 8 Years contract they are telling that na here (Chelsea) u go dey till you reach 30

Mudryk signed 8 and half years contract too

Enzo Fernandez signed 8 and half years contract too

Nkunku signed 6 Years contract.

Wesley Fofana signed 7 years

Badiashile signed 7 and half years contract.

Axel Disasi signed 6 Years contract.

Noni Madueke 7 and half years contract.

Nicolas Jackson 8 Years contract.

The least contract you can get is 6 years.

I love this, they are telling you that u that we go dey together till...............................

This could be a double edged sword. It mean that if they are not doing well, Chelsea could find it hard to get rid of them

Deenillah:
I'll just go straight to it.

My girlfriend of 2years gets upset when I don't apologize even when I'm not at fault. , saying I don't care about her feelings.

I'm this person who believes that everyone is responsible for their actions and should shoulder the consequences for thier actions.

I don't apologize except when I know I'm wrong and I try as much as possible to avoid things that will make me apologize unnecessarily except of course for the ones that happen coincidentally.

But she wants it to be that at every little instance, I apologize even if she's at fault which to me I find unacceptable and this causes quarrels between us when it happens.


MY QUESTION IS

Am I wrong to want to apologize ONLY when I'm at fault?

And you want Nairaland to teach you what to do? Oga, you are almost 30 years if you would be bringing cases like these to Nairaland for help, I don't think you are matured to be in a relationship. This is the kind of question we expect from 16 years old kids.

Kobojunkie:
Again, So, Jesus Christ, the Law and Truth His followers are called to abide and live by, never said any of what you pretend at all?

P.S. Baptism( born-again) is the only way to partake of the Kingdom of God, become set free from slavery to sin and attain holiness which makes forgiveness of sins available to one. So it is right to state that Baptism is for the forgiveness of sins.

Jesus Christ never said that baptism does not give forginess of sin. You are the first person saying it. Who do we believe, you or the apostles?
Now Jesus Christ taught that those that believe and are baptized would be saved. This should answer your question. Are you clear now?

Kobojunkie:
So, Jesus Christ, the Law and Truth His followers are called to abide and live by, never said any of what you pretend at all?

First his apostles said it and that is good enough for we his followers. He wants us to believe the words of his apostles and what he desires, we do.
Secondly Jesus never said the things you pretend. He never said that you don't receive forgiveness through baptism. You made that up completely.
So who do we believe you, a nobody or the apostles?

Kobojunkie:
There is absolutely no connection between this so-called response of yours and the question I asked.

There is 100% connection. If you don't believe the words of his apostles then you are not his follower.
John 17.20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

Kobojunkie:
Where exactly did I state that Jesus Christ wrote anything? Abeg Waka pass me if you can't answer the simple question!

I have already answered your question. Baptism is for the forginess of sin.

advanceDNA:
Where ìn my comment did i say it is acceptable today..??

Killed for Asking for wife....?? Please go and read ur bible well if u have one and dont know the story.... he was killed for treason...he forcefulky took the throne with a sitting king still alive...

Oga, what is it that you have against my comments. Is there anything I wrote that you disagree with?

Kobojunkie:
You? That applies to pretty much everyone of those of you who hold to religion. And you can only "correct" when an error in fact exists. You have yet to show this the case by way of the Words or Jesus Christ Himself, the only Teacher in the Kingdom of God.

As usual you are confused. Jesus Christ did not write the bible it was his followers that did and he commanded them and gave them authority to carry on after him so if you don't believe them you can't be a serious follower of Christ.

Kobojunkie:
Where in His Gospel did Jesus Christ say this to you?

Please don't bother responding by providing one of your many magicsl interpretations of the words of one of His apostles in an attempt to make the student greater than the master, a scheme typical of the religious.

I understand why you are uncomfortable with me replying. No problem, I just needed to correct you.

FalseProphet1:
You see after David killed Uriah and stole his wife Bathsheba, God cursed David's lineage and said that even though he committed the sin in secrete, he would bear the same publicly.

Ammon raped his sister Tamar.

Absolom killed his brother Ammon for raping his sister Tamar.

Absolom had sex with David's concubines on the roof for all Israel to see.

Solomon killed his brother Adonija because of a girl.

Solomon went on to have over 700 wives and 300 concubines of which I'm very sure that girl he killed his brother for was among.

This was happening because David their father couldn't keep his díck one place.

This I have seen.

Are you saying that Solomon is not responsible for his actions? We should uld blame it on David instead?

advanceDNA:
Solomon considered adonija's action as being covetous of the what belongs to the king's office....he not only wanted the girl, he wanted the throne.......its a treasonable offence..
..its Solomon's discretion to either put such a person to death or not...in my opinion...he would be stupíd to leave such a person alive...

.. however we are in mordern times that laws are different....even kings do not have final say over capital punishment....

In does times it could be acceptable but today, you don't kill people for asking for a wife.You don't kill your brother for that.

Kobojunkie:
1. If this is what you meant when you said you were born-again then I am sorry to tell you is all you did was submit to the ritual of your pastors and mogs which they also term being "born-again" and nothing more. That ritual has no connection to God or Jesus Christ and and Kingdom of God.

2. No, to be born-again --- born of water and born of the Spirit of Eternal Life(a possession by His person)----- means to become a citizen for the Kingdom of God. The process does not purge you of your past sins nor does it immunize you against future sins. As you continue to sin, your sin debt simply continues to pile on.

3. Like I said, the Spirit of Eternal Life aka grace is not given for the purging of sins. Rather He is gifted by God to everyone who will choose to become born-again. Have you ever been received a gift for signing up to for a bank account or test driving a car? Well, think of it as a free gift of Eternal Life(grace) as a gift God hands out to each and everyone who signs up for the Kingdom of God by becoming born-again. The gift is sets you free from the curse of Death and that is that.

4. First things first, God does not answer the petitions of the unrighteous. What this means is that so long as you remain unrighteous, even your pleas for forgiveness go unanswered by God. Only the righteous have their every petition answered by God, including their requests for forgiveness of sins. Second, sin(disobedience) is a choice and so even after you become born-again, it is through self-discipline that you learn to continously submit and obey the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ. God is not going to hold your hand as that work has to be done by you to prove yourself worthy of Jesus Christ. It is by continually choosing obedience, rather than disobedience(sin), that you not only overcome your urge to sin, but you also pay off your sin debt in full.

5. Again, your churches and their many rituals have nothing to do with God or Jesus Christ.

You are mostly right, but let me correct something. Being born again purges you of formal sins. We are baptized for a remission of sins

talented321:
It is not accept in igbo but it is accepted in yoruba' so who will now obey who? And u expect the man to obey the woman's tribe and forget his own tribe'
Una just dey play for this country.

As you can see, most of the kids are above 18 and old enough to make a choice. It's Clear that na their papa dey play. There are repercussions for being a deadbeat dad. the moral of this story: As a man take responsibility. Your children would not respect and honor your name if you never gave them a reason to.

talented321:
I am not in support of what the father did.
So because life didn't favour ur father' and the best thing to do is to abandon him' are those children aware they will be fathers and mothers tomorrow.
I don't like their step

It is their choice. If the don't have any attachment to their father or his name, then it's ok. Also, in Igbo culture, if a man has not paid his bride's price, the children will belong to the family of the woman. If it is true that the man hasn't paid bride price after 23 years, then what is he fighting for? It seems that he has money to hire lawyers but not to do the needful.

talented321:
Some women IQ is very low' and the new husband is another unserious man' he can't tell his glueless wife that such thing can not happen.
And the children i don't know how to describe them.
This nonsense will not even attempt to happen in my tribe' who pride price epp' for my children i have fed for more than 20years.
In igbo land it is not accepted but in yoruba land it is accept' how do we do about that? who will now obey who?'
Some people just dey play for this country''

I disagree with you. The kids are old enough to decide for themselves. If their father had no positive impact in their lives then why keep his name.

Odibembem:
Lekki tollgate alleged killing is still unconfirmed, even d US govt that likes to criticize us says there was no mass killings there as reported. The IPOB killed at Awkuzu Anambra were on d orders of Peter Obi. Mind u Endsars protesters were not completely unarmed, in Anambra, Edo and Lagos, they invaded police stations and carted away guns. This govt and d one before it has showed more restraints than those of d likes of OBJ. OBJ sent soldiers to wipe out men and rape women in whole communities like Odi and Zakam Ibiam. U young man is d one not informed

Lol. You claim that Lekki killing is unconfirmed but somehow you can confirm that Obi ordered the killing of IPOB. I am sure that even you can see your Dishonesty.
As for the Lekki killings, in Nov 2021 the Panel of inquiry set up by the APC Lagos state government pronounced that it took place. So you clearly don't know what you are talking about or you are simply confused.
But then hope you know that IPOB were killed all across the SE from 2015 to 2019 and Obi was not in power at that time. Was it also Obi that directed the killings at Nnamdi Kanu's father's house. Please learn to study before commenting.

BRATISLAVA:
So you'd imagine, rather than believe the account before you? Because what the man is accused of doing is what his wife said, because you know better than the op that she's lying?

And if this account is true, you will still rather prefer hear his side of the story? Because it will justify why he's doing all that? Because the man must be innocent somehow? And the brother came here to lie about a man he has confronted before who wouldn't change? Because he never actually beat her and she's enjoying her marriage to him, so much that her brother came here to praise him?

This is how you aged people listened to the alwa ibom serial killer because the newspapers did not give his side of the story, and he claimed the girl wanted sex with him in his own account, meanwhile he had killed many girls and that one was looking for a job. You need his side of the story. He's gotten away with the murder while tantalizing you all with his fables.

K.

Learn to weigh events as they are without committing to judgement on imagined circumstances. Or wait to hear the lies of a man who wants to justify himself.

You keep showing your youthfulness and rashness.
I never said the account was a lie, I only said that we can't judge until we hear from all sides.
Clearly, I can't change your mentality. It's ok, keep giving judgements before hearing from both sides. We can end it on this note bro.

BRATISLAVA:
It's in the op.

Yes and the OP was told by his sister, the wife and you choose to believe without hearing from the man.
Learn to calm down before commiting to judgement.

Viccur:
Reason the notion of "buy naira to grow naira" is a pipe dream. I believe the local rice dealers/farmers are simply taking advantage of the situation of the country to cash in. They could have moderated the prices to ease affordability. No meaningful difference in both local and foreign prices.

Oga the local farmers are not cashing out as you think. The highest profit margin is made by the millers and with the cost of fuel, it's not even that profitable.

Wainey:
is there any evidence that police killed unarmed protesters?
Don't those people have families? How come no one complained about the death of a family member in the lekki toll gate? Did they kill the people and also trace their household and kill their entire family too?

Let me ask you another question oga, why is Nnamdi Kanu in jail?

Wainey:
is there any evidence that police killed unarmed protesters?
Don't those people have families? How come no one complained about the death of a family member in the lekki toll gate? Did they kill the people and also trace their household and kill their entire family too?

That's the very same thing the Chinese government says about 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre.
So what stopped the Lekki protest?

GetMeRight:
Let the military take over, you will know the real meaning of "arresting and killing people". Were you old enough under Abacha to know the numbers of high caliber people who were killed and imprisoned?
You're calling your presidents "druggie, Ebola, clueless, ineffectual buffon, dullard, urine dispenser and so on. Yet, you still don't know that you are enjoying first class freedom of speech and its abuse

Your point is that the military does it much more right? My point is that all criminal governments are the same.

Wainey:
the govt said you should provide one person that was killed and no body could provide, the evidence you people brought, like the girl covered in green and white was from a movie scene in 2017, the other one that you people said died, she came out to debunk it that she is still alive.

The witness that came out said he was on the ground and the Nigerian army came and took the dead bodies to cover up the death, we begin to wonder why they left only him.

Oga open ur eyes, there was no shooting in lekki, even if you watch that video, you will see that the Sparks from the guns was pointing up, if it was shot at the masses, they would have scamper for safety but they didn't because they have the mind of a god abi?
Guy rest

Till today, the Chinese government claims no one was kill in 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre. All criminal governments are the same.
But then, do you forget that an inquiry set up by the very same Lagos gov found your military guilty?

Odibembem:
Who arrested u for demonstrating? With all d insults u and your kinsmen gave Buhari and now Tinubu on TV and social media, how many stations were closed down and how many of u were arrested. All d phone in programs in Radio stations in d East abuse d President everyday, how many of d radios were shut down? U guys don't know d meaning of freedom or bondage

Lekki toll gate was not too long ago. You seem to be too young to remember the police and army killing unarmed IPOB protesters. I guess the problem is that you are not very informed.

Wainey:
NLC protested, Doctors were on strike until yesterday and today they are safe.

In a military rule, a protest is seen as a coup and the leaders are killed by firing squad and if you condemn it, you are seen as an accomplice and will be jailed. There is no constitution in military govt, the dictator decides how to run his country

You already forget the protest at Lekki? I can count over 10 protest that ended with violence in democratic Nigeria. You seem to forget so easily.

Blaze14k:
If they ask you to chose between seizing ur freedom of speech or allow France to take ur resources with easy, which of them will u take

The mistake you make is that you think fighting for resource independence and taking away people's freedoms most go hand in hand. You can fight the French as much as you like without fighting your own citizens and punishing them for speaking out.

ecolime:
And yet some of us are supporting military coups. It's either we have kids littering this forum these days or have adults with short memories.

Oga if you have a good memory as you claim, you would recall that even in democratic Nigeria, media houses have been sanctioned for airing views that are not so government friendly.