₦airaland Forum

BABE3:
This is so true. Because of the 9-5 and beyond, and the hussle to pay bills and send money home, incompetent guardians and babysitters raise the kids.

I remember in high school in Nigeria, there was always an influx of these kids in the SS1 sets. Their parents bring them from "abroad" when they're 13/14 years old to de-westernize them (a.k.a remove the rude and indiscipline bones from their bodies).

They were always sooooooo rude, crass and uncouth. Some adjust by the time they write WAEC. Some of them don't.

Point is, there has to be a balance, either in africa or in dispora.

some parents, in the quest of westernizing themselves, lose control in training their kids till it's too late. That kid may end up living in Africa later and they struggle to fit in, even among the elite.
A well trained kid should be able to fit in anywhere he finds himself.

well said dear

komek:
As an African man who provides virtually everything for his family, if u open ur mouth and tell me sup popsie, u will start paying ur bills.

that's part of the morals we r talking about. It doesn't necessarily means you flogging them, there r so many ways you can pass your instructions across and be firm with it

selfoss:
The african way is not the best way.

I said ONE of the Best ways o

KanwuliaJara:
You can never be AFRICANS outside AFRICA.
You will go to JAIL!
Everything about the 'AFRICAN LIFE' is crooked!
Period!

your own opinion though

komek:
The only way forward is to bring them back to Africa where they will learn morals or rather where they will be designed to act the way u like. I don't want to agree totally with u that training a child in the African way is the best. We all have different culture. In Africa we believe we train children better likewise the western world believe they do better interms of upbringing.

But I like the way the west do theirs o. Like my Son wey I use like 35yrs senior make him dey call me "hey Komek". He go wake up for morning, he go hala "hey popsy hw u doing", not goodmorning or Ojiba. Nne, I like am o...lol

Lol, so you prefer the "sup popsie" to "Goodmorning dad" Different strokes 4 different folks bro. Tnx 4 ur contribution

KanwuliaJara:
Not possible.
They are not in Africa!

how is it not possible my dear, can you shed more light on your point?

MMotimo:
I don't know which "diaspora" has formed your views but I can assure you that Social Services do not just show up and/or take drastic action for no reason. Hiding behind discipline, a lot of parents practise parent brutality, subjecting kids to punishment that is inhuman once you loosen your mental shackles and think of it properly. People usually get into trouble with Social services when discipline becomes borderline or actual torture or delivery of gross physical discomfort to the child. There are exceptions but most times, that is the case.

A common example is spanking. I don't have any problem with reasonable spanking, not "flogging" o and not "beating." If that is what your child understands, fine but if that doesn't get through to him/her and you want to turn to brutality, then you deserve all that Social Services has to offer. It is no longer spanking when you descend on a child with weapons like your belt, or you are delivering ten strokes of whatever. If Getting through to the child is taking all that physical toll on you, you need another solution. You have resorted to brutality in order to intimidate and you are simply letting loose your own frustrations. When you administer physical torture and suffering, it is no longer about discipline, you are only fooling yourself.

I have spanked my kids in the past but I can count the number of times because I realized the spanking is just a physical lash out at the child, it is not necessarily about correction. I find that when you spend time getting to know your children, living your own life as an example and deliberately influencing their behavior through your words and actions, backed up with good moral reinforcement, the odds are high that they will receive the values you impart.

So, when it comes to raising the African way, all I can say is that your children's behavior are a reflection of their upbringing and their upbringing directly reflects how you have discharged your duties and obligations to them as a parent. Whether in or outside Africa, these rules hold the same. You do not have to be in a African setting to enjoy the privilege of "rebuking or punishing" a child. Parents outside of Africa rebuke and punish too but parent brutality is not tolerated by the authorities - that is the difference.

Moral decadence happens everywhere, in and out of Africa. When you choose to birth a child, you are signifying a willingness to set that child in the right path. If you have no inclination towards raising a well formed child, you are doing said child a disservice. The problem is people want to have children but not be accountable for raising them properly so it's easier to blame it all on moral decadence and the environment as if the same things are not happening in Africa.

With all that I have seen, I am not convinced that the African way is necessarily the best. Any system that turns out children with the correct value system and who can think beyond themselves is the best IMO.

With regards to "a very low percentage of these children yield positive result" I am curious to know the specifics of this assertion maybe because I know many families raising great kids with a solid value system and with their heads screwed on straight even without parent brutality.

Ooops! I can't believe how much I wrote!

thanks for your contribution ma'am

2kris:
u too dey book space...to comment on a gurl u are more prettier than..or aint u??

i'll leave that to your imagination

Personally, i believe raising a child in African way is one of the best when it comes to behavioural aspect which i believe a lot of people can also agree with me. Being raised in African way can go a long way in a child's life later in life, though it may seem as if your parents don't love you but one gets to understand and realise the benefits of one's parent's instruction, rebuke and punishment as adulthood sets it.
Having thought of how civilization and technology has turned children and even adults into nowadays, it really gives me concern as per the level of moral decadence in our society. Being a parent in African setting can at least give one the privilege to rebuke/ scold your child if they behave in ways contrast to the norm of the society. There's a very huge limit to what you can do as an African parent in Western Countries if you don't want Social services to get involved in your case. Though some parents try their best but a very low percentage of these children yield positive result. please, is there any way forward?

luigiajah:
... .. You Never Sleep?

nope, you nko? what r you still looking for here? c'mon go to bed

luigiajah:
... Hmm If Ah Catch You Ehn

Hian!

luigiajah:
This Is A Very Good Development... Please If Ah Hear Sai Buhari For This Thread... YOUR BODY GO TELL YOU **monitoring this thread like monitoring Spirit **

SAI BUHARI

feeding her blood is she a vampire?

jeffizy:
[color=#004400] Great. Lemme get my ATM card and also write my will. LOL. [/color]

a very good idea

cytochromeC:
With a passion. I find it very boring, the smileys, the style of updates, just name it. And I find it stressful having to block unwanted contacts everytime, or hiding online status or blue tick or whatever they call it, when I can simply choose who to give my pin and who to accept, when to respond without thinking of being stalked.

Some will argue that why give people your number when you don't want them to find you on whatsapp, but you drop numbers for different reasons, it could be your carpenter or welder or bikeman, it could be your distant relatives, acquaintances who should be spoken to only over the phone and once in a while, but with whatsapp, any of them can reach you for a chat even when you have nothing in common. How many people pesin go block?

Bbm suits me perfectly.

U've got
some very good points thr bro, dtz y itz good to have another small phone to move those unwanted contacts to. i just hate the way it blinks nonstop forcing me to open my whatsapp wen i dnt want to

how i hate whatsapp

komek:
I have always known that Lagos does not have good places to relax during the Christmas season. This is the reason I don't like missing going to my Delta where u can eat bush meat, drink fresh Palmwine, interact with old folks, hang out with secondary school friends, chill with some local and cheap babes, most especially stay together with my sibblings and gossip, its always fun. But this madman I am doing business with has refused to pay me. So Lagos, I just have to stay in this lonely and deserted u. God help me not to commit suicide before the year.

ahahahah, sorry brov

good

Misogynist2014:
Oh, quite emotional.

Lol, watz emotional in wat I wrote nw?

Tellmeurmind:
i thank u all. i brought this issue here just because i want to let her go but dont know how am going to do it. Each time i make up my mind to be abstaining from her, the more my mind would be longing for her as soon as i set my eyes on her. i feel like going away from her completely but we do work together in the same company and dont want pple to be making jest of her that we are no more together because they know am married

oh! So it's even a full-blown one. Ds is a serious ish man. Y smell what you knw u aint gonna eat in d first place. As someone said earlier, u're d one in bondage nt d lady. Be prayerful sir n mk up ur mind to let go, dtz wat makes u a man

professor paripasu

ok

Nice one

another micheal jackson in the making, so r you encouraging people to bleach now yeye dey small #puke#

.

hmmm

HARDDON:
This ur tiny dot of a plot

Even 419ners r ignoring it lol

quality over quantity

.