₦airaland Forum

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop”.
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.

The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted !!!!

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.
For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box '[/b]The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

[b]The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that.You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

oh ok

Atila1:
no! Most men r dogs!

what do you mean "Most" You must be talking out of your rear end! How many men do you know that you've concluded that most are dogs, rubbish


@'post
As has been said beauty does not sustain a relationship, it takes a lot more than that, of what use is a beauty queen with an acid tongue or the attitude of a devil or a woman who though married is still behaving as though she is single? The truth is it takes more than a pretty face or a hunky body to sustain a marriage,
And before you bite my head off it relates to men as well,

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two kids with me!"

"Bring them along!" said the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too."

"But, Sir, I have a wife and six kids!" he answered.

"Bring them, as well!" answered the lawyer, as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall!"

dreamer, dream on

Quit trying to be a carbon copy, be satisfied with who you are

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

;d ;d

and

.

A little boy and his dad were at the store and they just so happended to come upon the comdom isle. The little boy asked his dad "Daddy why are there so many different boxes of condoms?" "For different stages in your life." said the dad. "What's the 3 pack for?" "Well, that's for when your in High School 2 for friday night, and 1 for saturday night." "Then whats the 3 pack for?" "For when your in college. 2 for friday night, 2 for saturday night, and 2 for sunday morning." "Oh. Then what's the 12 pack for?" Well, that's for when your married. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March, and etc."

montelik:
Why won't Kanu want to tow the line. Do you think he wants to end up like Oliseh . Abeg make Osaze free Papillo. If he isn't careful himself, he will soon taste the koboko they used for Oliseh.

then he is not worthy of leading the team, the players look up to him and if after 16 years with the SE kanu cannot stand up and speak his mind then he is useless, the same can be said of okocha who kept quiet when oliseh and finidi were both sacked for fighting the players corner. I hate it when captains put personal interest ahead of their responsibilities,

to be honest kanu should not have been picked for that squad, and am sure he kept quiet because he knew he wasnt worthy of a place in the squad

yes she is fyn

rap

all night long or quickie

kia kia come greet me

mama

wavelenght

[quote author=Efemena_xy link=topic=338380.msg6273669#msg6273669 date=1277377810]TJ - na so u dey treat your chicks??

bad boy [/quote]at all im a good boy,

where my prize poster?

it's not a recent thing, its been on for a while,

hmmm

Of course they do, and by the way some naija couple i know in UK wash their husband's clothes , no big deal,

if you love someone petty things like doing the laundry is nothing, only naija men with their jagged mentality see this as an issue

@poster
Much ado about nothing, please tell your friend to relax jare, if she tells her fiance that she is and he doesnt believe her then its obvious she is not the man for her, what was the guy doing testing in the first place? Hypocrite!! he wants to test yet he wants to marry a virgin, the same guy wanted sex with her earlier on yet is upset she may npt be a virgin what a clown"